Title: When Worlds Collide

Author: AstraGalactic

Disclaimer: Andromeda is not mine. If it was, Gaheris would be alive, and Dylan would be with Rommie. Atlanta is mine.

Setting/Season: TUM AU (Trance did not switch places with her gold-self, and the Andromeda has a new engineer)

Summary: The Andromeda's Captain makes a wish, but when he gets it will it destroy them all?

A/N: My thanks to other writers who have inspired me, Please R&R!

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Gaheris stood on the OBS deck looking out at the stars, lost in his pain and loneliness. There was only one other person onboard the giant ship and it was quiet - too quiet. It had been a year since Harper had left, and presently the rest of his crew save for Atlanta was down on Infinity Atoll to visit Harper for a month…. even Tyr.

Gaheris sighed, the depth of his grief intensifying as he realized that for all that he could not trust the man, he envied Tyr in one way - only one.

Tyr was clearly fond of Harper – even enough that he had risked his life for the small human. It was not what Dylan and Gaheris had shared….. but it was a shadow of it. Tyr treated Harper as a child… sometimes as his child. Gaheris had respected Dylan too much for that, but there were times he had seen the older man as a beloved younger brother….. one who he was desperate to teach to survive. But in the end it had not been enough – and Dylan…. his Dylan had died by his hand. Gaheris hated the universe for demanding a price so high…. and he hated himself more for hurting the person he had loved more than … everything else in the universe….

That was why he sometimes envied Tyr….. and why he was happy for him: The one Tyr cared for, Harper, was safe….. and now with his life on Infinity, he would remain safe ... More than that, Tyr would never have to hurt him.

Gaheris buried his face in his hands as he remembered why Harper had left. He also knew that Harper had never forgiven him – or Atlanta for what they had done – for saving Harper's life. They all had agreed to destroy the Tesseract Machine but when he got to the Machine shop, the machine seemed ready, Harper was there, it was worth a chance, so instead he activated it while Atlanta disarmed Rekeeb, saving Harper from the Magog larvae, but allowing Hohne to stay dead. Unfortunately the Sinti Council was angry enough with his decision that they withdrew from the Commonwealth followed by most of the other member worlds – and to make things worse, Harper had been apparently very fond of Hohne.

Following the "incident", Harper had chosen to leave the Andromeda, and take up a job-offer from a wealthy computing company on Infinity as their top engineer. He stayed for an additional month to train Atlanta as the new engineer for Andromeda, but would not reconsider staying. Fortunately for Andromeda, Atlanta seemed to have a natural talent for engineering. Unfortunately with a crew so small, the absence of anyone was a severe loss.

With only a crew of two, the only thing possible was repairs, so the giant ship drifted hidden in an Asteroid field for repairs and re-arming, hidden from any would-be agressors, and with no new emergencies arising to engage him, Gaheris found himself feeling more alone than ever. Sure, Atlanta was still onboard, but the company she was always willing to give him could not…. distract him from his loneliness and grief because though she did not know the reasons for its existence, she empathized with him too much.

He appreciated her company, and her love for him. He loved her in return, and was more grateful than words could express when she reached out to him in his grief to give him her love, not caring what it cost her….. when she gave him something to hope for, something to believe in…. when she helped lift the burden of utter loneliness that crushed him. Still, there were times when he was grateful for the rest of his crew that either did not understand his grief or did not empathize much with him, because whether it was Trance's strangeness, Beka's cold sarcasm since breaking up with him, Harper's never-ending self-exaltation, or Tyr's incessant scheming that kept Gaheris wondering when he would be stabbed in the back, all of them gave him something that distracted him from the infinite pain that crushed his tortured soul and ripped into his broken heart, a respite from the memories that haunted his every breath and tormented his dreams…..

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Atlanta approached Gaheris who was standing, staring at the stars, but not really seeing them – not finding peace in their beauty. Instead he was buried in the anguish of a loss only he knew, a loss that had hurt him so deeply it had destroyed his will to live.

Silently she stepped to his right side, pressing her left arm behind his back, and leaning her head against his shoulder and upper chest – just as she always did - and as always, Gaheris gently wrapped his right arm around her, leaning his head on hers, holding close to his heart the closest friend he had now. Yet though her presence was comforting, Gaheris could not entirely hold back the tears that welled up in his eyes, because he knew that by being there for him, she shared his grief….. because she loved him, she was condemning herself to suffer with him his pain.

Tears welled up in Atlanta's eyes – tears for his eternal grief - while she sighed bitterly, for though she loved him, though she would gladly give anything for him: her happiness, her love, even ultimately her life, she knew she could never heal the spiritual agony eating away at his shattered soul and burning into his broken heart. She could be there for him, she could remind him that there was indeed something still worth living for, by giving him her love and accepting his…. she could be there to dry his tears ….. to fight by his side, and even stand in the way of his death…. but it would never be able to take away the pain and loss burning in his heart, the eternal grief that shone from his dark eyes that were like brilliant suns of love drowning in a sea of infinite grief…. because she could not ever give back what he had loved and lost….. whoever they were… and when they died, a part of his heart had been torn out and gone with them, leaving him in eternal agony.

For what seemed like an eternity, they stood in silence, no words needed to express what they felt, their love and grief hanging silently like stars in the silence surrounding them. Finally Gaheris broke the silence, saying quietly in a soft tone laced with grief:

"Why do you do it, Atlanta?"

Though she had an idea what his question meant, she replied with a small sad smile as she raised her head to meet his gaze:

"Do what?"

Gaheris sighed:

"At the end of each day, you could go and do something to relax…. something that could make you laugh, and yet instead of seeking the little peace and happiness you can get…. you come to be with me, to share my….. pain."

Atlanta replied with a truly sad smile:

"Because we're friends, Gaheris…."

Before she could go on, Gaheris replied bitterly, dropping his gaze as tears filled his eyes, and memoriesof another friend long lost rushed into his mind:

"I told you….. being my friend will only bring you grief."

Gently cupping his cheek with one of her hands, Atlanta gently raised his head so that she could meet his gaze and said softly:

"I don't know what happened in your past that hurt you so deeply, I don't understand the source of your pain and your bitterness toward yourself….. but it does not matter, because in this case I know you are wrong; your love is the most precious gift anyone has ever given me. You gave my life meaning….You opened your heart to me, you let me love you, and you loved me in return….And for that, I'd give anything, sacrifice anything, with no regrets… because to me it's worth more than everything."

In a voice choked with tears, Gaheris replied:

" … but it does not change the fact that your being with me brings you pain."

Atlanta gently replied:

"You are my heart, Gaheris….. and the only time I am truly whole is when I'm with you… I want to be with you Gaheris….. I need to be with you."

Gaheris's tears overflowed, but he remained silent….. for what could he say to that?

Any response he could have found was forgotten as Atlanta dried his tears and pulled him into a gentle embrace….. so Gaheris simply wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to his heart… because as much as for her sake he wished she was not with him….. in many ways she was all he had left to live for.

When their tears had subsided, Atlanta broke the silence, asking:

"Gaheris?"

Gaheris silently pulled back far enough to meet her gaze, waiting silently for her to continue.

With a slight sigh, Atlanta said:

"For a few days, I've noticed that …. you have something on your mind – beyond what constantly weighs upon you, and beyond strategizing about our next mission….. It's something else

I understand if you don't want to talk about it….. but I think that you do, at least judging from the times it seems like you are about to tell me something, and then you hold yourself back."

Gaheris could not help a small half-smile at her words, still amazed by her ability to read him, and then replied quietly with a sigh of his own, while he turned once more to look at the stars:

"Back when Harper was here, we had discussed the possibility of copying Dylan's personality profile to an AI, a hologram which would look like him….."

Swallowing back silent tears, Gaheris added:

"I told Harper that I was asking for this because I wanted to have a Go partner, and Dylan was good at Go….. Dylan was ….. but the truth is…."

Atlanta finished for him, seeing that Gaheris was fighting to hold back his tears, her own tone soft and sad:

"The truth is … you miss him."

Gaheris nodded, closing his tear-filled eyes:

"It's been almost three years ….. yet every day living without him seems to hurt a little more."

Atlanta nodded, saying gently in a voice choked with tears for his grief:

"I know... you loved him."

In a voice that was broken, and barely audible, Gaheris choked out:

"There's more to the story than that….. I just am not ready to talk about it…. I'm sorry."

Atlanta smiled through her own grief for Gaheris's sake, and said softly:

"It's okay, I can wait….."

For what seemed like an eternity they stood, shrouded in silence heavy with grief, until Atlanta said gently, making a sorry attempt to lighten the mood:

"So why the hesitation?"

Gaheris replied, his voice weary, but glad for the slight shift of topic:

"You are already overworked…. and it is not right to ask this of you, especially now…"

Atlanta smiled slightly, trying to hide her sorrow for his grief behind a fragile smile, and said:

"Actually, I have practically nothing left to do till our next mission. Andromeda's in tip-top shape."

Gaheris raised one eyebrow:

"Already?"

Atlanta mimicked his expression, only she was smiling:

"What can I say, I'm pretty good at this, and Andromeda's a great help…."

Fighting to keep her voice level, she finished, her smile cracking under the weight of the emotion filling her:

"So I'd be happy to do it, knowing what he meant to you….. However, that said, why settle for a hologram? Why not an avatar…. it would be more like having him around again…."

For a fraction of a second she regretted her words, suddenly realizing that having some fragmented version of Dylan around might make Gaheris's pain worse rather than better, but that worry faded away as Gaheris replied, his voice trembling with grief and hope:

"It would be better for him too… You think you can do that?"

Atlanta smiled:

"I believe I can."

Gaheris said, his voice barely a whisper trembling with emotion:

"Thank you."

Pressing her left arm behind his back, Atlanta gently leaned her head on his right shoulder, saying softly:

"That's what friends are for."

Gaheris could not reply, too lost in the memories of how his friend – Dylan had died, and in the emotions, love and grief that flooded his heart, so he wordlessly pulled her close, his own right arm around her shoulders , and for what felt like an eternity, they stood in silence, watching the stars together.

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After Atlanta left, Andromeda's hologram materialized by Gaheris's side, saying in a tone that was unusually gentle:

"Captain….. we need to talk about this."

Gaheris closed his eyes, remembering the grief he had caused her, and realizing that this might hurt her even more, asked in a soft tone that betrayed his grief:

"You're right…. I should have asked you before saying anything….. but it's not too late to call it off. Are you okay with this?"

Andromeda could not help but smile at his concern, albeit sadly, and answered, trying to keep the grief from showing in her soft tone:

"In that sense, yes…. It would be nice to have him back in some form – even as an AI."

Her voice dead serious now, she continued:

"I was not worried about my emotional state… though in truth I am worried about yours."

Gaheris raised a brow, surprised that she understood already how he knew this would affect him, but before he could comment, Andromeda continued, grief coloring her tone once again:

"Time helps to heal the pain of loss…. but only because with time one starts to forget. You have not let yourself forget. You have surrounded yourself with reminders of Dylan, and I know from reading your bio-signs how intense your grief becomes whenever you think of him.

With an android Dylan around that will be the case constantly…. and with no respite from the pain, it could destroy you."

He knew she was right…. he also knew that he wanted this – for Dylan and for Andromeda… he needed Dylan even if the grief killed him in the end, so finally he sighed, resignation coloring his tone:

"It does not matter…."

Andromeda sighed, not surprised by his response, and then said, her voice completely level now, save for the note of concern:

"I suspected you would say as much…. Still, it was not what I was initially referring to."

Gaheris blinked away the tears that had filled his eyes while he drifted in his painful memories, and turned to Andromeda, raising one brow in a 'go ahead' gesture.

Andromeda continued:

"AI's can be dangerous – because of their limitless strength… so we are built with constraints that exist to keep our emotions in check. Even then sometimes they are not enough…"

She sighed as she admitted:

"I was so very close to killing you myself at Hephaestus….. but part of me did not want to – because I knew you were mourning for him too, so I knew that you truly did love him… and because I have always loved you as well. I tried to deny the feeling but I could not completely extinguish it…

But had it not been for these factors, I would have killed you. I would have crushed you through the deck plating… and none of my fail-safes would have been enough to prevent it... You would have never had a chance."

Gaheris looked calmly back at her, a trace of a smile breaking on his lips as he heard her subtle admission that she loved him, her words warming his heart despite her frank admission of what she had nearly done to him, but before he could comment, Andromeda continued, trying to fight back the regret in her tone:

"That is why some of the Commonwealth engineers lobbied for total elimination of emotion from us."

Returning to the present, Andromeda continued:

"Harper is of that mind, believe it or not…. and if he had to create a new AI, he would eliminate emotion entirely.

Atlanta is the polar opposite. She has always insisted that it would be a violation of our rights as sentient beings, that no-one has the right to tamper with our mind – our soul, as it were…..…."

Gaheris heard the warning in her tone as she finished:

"I never thought I would be saying this….. but with Atlanta doing this… it could lead to disaster…. because sooner or later he'll remember that…"

Gaheris finished for her, regret and grief showing clearly in his tone:

"that I killed him….. that I betrayed him."

Andromeda finished:

"And with him being an android….. he could hurt you….. even kill you….. Unless we either eliminate some memories, or ….. limit the emotion he can feel."

For what felt like an eternity, Gaheris was silent, contemplating her words. Then finally he said in a voice that was calm but filled with an almost fatalistic resignation:

"Thank you for your concern, Andromeda….. You do have a valid point…. but I'm guessing that such an …..occurrence is unlikely; revenge never really was in Dylan's nature."

Andromeda replied:

"True…. but emotional trauma is tricky, and death can be a rather traumatic experience…..especially when one is around afterwards to contemplate it."

Gaheris added bitterly, grief burning in his tear-filled eyes:

"And especially when it comes in the form of your best friend – who you trusted with your life."

Andromeda was silent, unable to counter that, even though she wished she could ease his pain.

Finally Gaheris said, his decision made;

"Look, Andromeda, I understand the risks….. Either way, don't make either suggestion to Atlanta….. and don't discuss this with her."

Andromeda asked, certain she already knew the answer:

"Why? You must know this is contra-survival."

Gaheris replied, avoiding a direct answer:

"Most likely, nothing will go wrong… Dylan was a strong person…. a good person."

Andromeda replied, concern in her tone:

"True….. but in the worst case scenario?"

Gaheris sighed:

"I don't know….. I only know I cannot allow us to tamper with his mind – or his personality….I've taken everything from him…. I will not take his soul as well."

Noticing Andromeda' silence, he sighed, his tone weary:

"Please, Andromeda…. promise me you will not start anything."

Reluctantly Andromeda agreed:

"Fine, I promise….. but I still think you might be making a terrible mistake."

Gaheris turned back to the stars saying sadly –more to himself than anyone else:

"Perhaps….. but it can never hold a candle to my first mistake."

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