It was killing him. The visions, the horrible dreams he recieved every single night is he had gotten his independence. He couldn't take it anymore. Getting his independence then being taken over again and again.. He couldn't bare it anymore. The main thing that was slowly tearing him apart was that he loved someone that he knew he couldn't have. It was always Toris.. Damn that Toris.. He was always the favored one, Raivis on the other hand was the one that was always forgotten. The chinese man that often visted was also gaining the heart of the man he loved.. God how he hated Yao.. This man didn't love him.. All the fake smiles.. All the fake 'I love you's after punishments..
Each and every time those words caused him more pain then the actual punishment themselves. Having been born and left alone to freeze and die in a cabin the day of his birth, there wouldn't be a Latvia is Eduard hadn't found him. He was sickly. He was a 'runt of the litter' as one would say. But now the pain was unbearable.. the thought of being abandoned.. being haunted by all those fake smiles, all those unkept promises by this goddamn romeo that had somehow managed to capture his heart. His heavy lidded eyes grew hot, and clouded. In his small cabin home in the middle of a small wood, a decent sized pond in the back; a small, sick, country, was about to die. He slowly moved from his chair in front of the fireplace and into a small, dark room. He picked up a picture off of a nightstand next to a bed.
It was a picture of him, his brothers; and his love that was never meant to be. His blood boiled suddenly, and he threw the picture into a wall, shivering as he heard the glass shatter and hit the floor. It reminded him of almost every bone in his body being broken one by one... Almost robotically, he walked over to the broken picture, and picked up a large piece of very sharp glass. He rolled up the sleeve of his white sweater, and slowly trailed the piece of glass down his skin; soon piercing his skin, creating a long laceration from the crook of his arm down to his wrist. He welcomed this warm, sticky feeling now trickling down his forearm. He was used to it. Slowly, he used his own blood to write the three words that had mocked him for so long on the wall; 'I love you'..
He pressed his bloody hands against the wall, the quick loss of blood making him weak already. He pulled his hand away, two bloody handprints left where his hands were. He covered up his face, then began to sob softly into them. His sobbing soon turned into soft laughter.. He removed his hands, now his face red with his own blood as he continued to laugh. His laughter soon died down, and looked down at himself. His white turtleneck, and jeans covered in his own blood. He looked at his still bleeding arm drip onto the wooden floors below him, he lowered his arm and headed for the front door, a trail of blood drops following him from the dark room where he had left his dying message.
He gripped the piece of glass tightly in his hand. He felt the sharp edges dig into his skin. He walked up to the pond behind his little cabin and stared at his reflection; his hand releasing the glass, his hand even more bloody, now shaking violently. His bloody reflection soon turned into the very man that had mocked him for so many years now.. He felt his eyes blaze, and with a quite loud and enraged cry he lept at it, soon realizing that he just jumped into the water. He couldn't swim, both of his arms too weak to move because of the loss of blood. He opened his eyes, the water clear, and a beautiful shade of blue. He closed his eyes half-way.. watching as his blood slowly rose, creating a nice small ring at the surface.
He soon saw the image of his romeo again.. but this one wrapped it's arms around him and held him close as they sank together towards the bottom of the pond. He heard the image speak to him. "Everything will be alright my little Latvibug.." This nickname angered him slightly.. But he welcomed it. He felt a few tears leak out of his eyes even though he was still underwater.. He felt bubbles come from his mouth as he breathed one word with his last breath that he had.
"Ivan..."