Thumbtack Attack
by Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.

There's this dumb ad on tv for a bank that shall remain nameless where they put push-pins in a map to show where branches of that bank can be found, and giant push-pins "magically" appear right outside the bank- right thru fire hydrants, hot dog stands, but NEVER people. I got the idea for this story from those ads.

STRAYING OFF TOPIC ALERT:

ATTENTION FANS OF THE JOHNNY "Z" ROCK AND ROCK REVIVAL SHOW WHO ALREADY MISS IT: try WFDU FM 89.1 Teaneak , Sundays from 6-9.

Acapello music. (Psst! Christine Vitale! I heard "Blues in the night" in a Bugs Bunny cartoon in which a vulture tries to eat Bugs and Bugs teases vulture by singing " a VULTURE is two-faced..." Bet you saw the same cartoon.)

It was very late at night (or very early in the morning) in Duckburg and the Beagle Boys were up to mischief ALREADY. A large, cartoon bomb was placed against the Money Bin. It's black round body leaned against the Bin, it's long rope-like fuse was lit.

"How come Megabyte always makes such stupid looking bombs, anyway?" Bomber whispered. (So the nearby Megabyte couldn't hear)

"He accidentally stole a shipment of bowling balls! He's been using them up by making bombs out of them ever since!' Big Time explained.

It was a specially designed mono-directional bomb: all it's explosive force would be directed towards where it leaned, i.e. : the Money Bin and none would be wasted in any other direction. This made it possible for the bomb to blast a hole thru the VERY tough Money Bin. Which it did.

The Beagles quickly went thru the hole they had blasted, stuffed money into large sacks .

"I need a sack for the money." Bomber Beagle said.

"Ya want the kind with "loot" printed on it or the kind with the big dollar symbol on it?" Big Time asked.

"The kind with the dollar symbol. It's got more class." Bomber replied.

Launchpad soon heard about this and he scrambled into one of his plane, one with some pretty neat "surprises" built into it. He's not allowed to arm his planes, but these surprises don't qualify as weapons.

Launchpad flew this plane to the Money Bin and saw the Beagles running for it.
Launchpad flew the plane over them and dropped surprise #1: a gigantic thumb tack. It came down, catching the Beagle by the back of his clothes without hurting him a bit.

However, the Beagle in question was Big Time, who is...er... height-deprived. Instead of the head of the giant push-pin pushing itself down on his head, it was several inches above his head. This gave him a little wiggle room.

Big Time tried to remove his clothes so he could make a run for it. But the cops caught up to him and arrested him for attempted robbery before they had to add indecent exposure to the charges against him.

Launchpad, meanwhile had flown his plane over another fleeing Beagle and dropped another overgrown pushpin on the crook below. This was Megabyte Beagle, who is normal height and the pushpin not only caught him by the back of his clothes without injury, it's head pressed down on his head, pinning him down.

The cops soon caught and arrested Megabyte Beagle.

Launchpad flew over a third fleeing Beagle and dropped another giant thumbtack. Badbite Beagle (1) saw it coming and stopped in his tracks, hoping it would miss him. The pushpin caught him by the front of his clothes (without hurting him) instead of the back.

But Badbite must be part pit bull or something, he has very large, very strong teeth and he bit right thru the metal pin. Badbite managed to wiggle off the pin and run for it. Only to realize he had forgotten the loot. The cops nabbed him when he doubled back for it.

Bomber Beagle made it to his plane and flew off, Launchpad in hot pursuit. Bomber tried to fly faster than Launchpad, but Launchpad designed and built this plane (with some help from the local Gadget Guy) and it's FAST. Only the fact that Bomber had quite a head start (and was flying recklessly) kept Launchpad from catching up. Launchpad kept trying to force Bomber down, force him to land. Bomber kept managing to evade Launchpad.

Then Bomber noticed that Launchpad kept trying to herd him in any direction EXCEPT southeast. NATURALLY, Bomber headed southeast, ignoring Launchpad's warnings, ignoring the air traffic controller's warnings (and turning off the radio so he could hear neither of them). Launchpad stopped trying to force Bomber down, so Bomber flew as high up as he could trying to "lose" Launchpad.

Then a strong down draft forced Bomber's plane down. And then a spire of a building went right thur Bomber's plane, not hurting him, but impaling his plane! Bomber looked and saw his plane had been speared by a spire of the Duckburg Thumbtack Co. His plane was stuck on a spire of a building like a butterfly on a pin! The spire looked just like a giant upside-down thumbtack.

"I TRIED to warn you! They didn't know about the downdrafts here when they built this place! If you let me tie you up- no tricks- I'll bring you down and turn you over to the cops! Try anything, and I'll leave you here for somebody ELSE to rescue!" Launchpad offered.

Bomber naturally agreed. Launchpad landed his plane ,on top of Bomber's, but avoiding the spire. But once Launchpad opened his plane's doors, Bomber pushed past Launchpad and jumped into Launchpad's plane!

"I've got the keys, stupid!" Launchpad said.

Ignoring the sign that read: "Do NOT try to start this plane without the keys!", Bomber tried to "hot-wire" the plane. Only to set off the ejector seat and be launched (sorry!) into mid-air, ejector seat and all. The parachute went off brought Bomber down safely. If you call "surrounded by the cops" safe in his situation.

After seeing Bomber being carted off by the cops, Launchpad reentered his plane, used the keys to start the plane and flew it from the co-pilot's seat. Then Launchpad lowered a fishing hook on a line and hooked one money sack and then the others. He flew back to the Bin, and tossed them back in the bin where they belonged.

Then Launchpad aimed a nozzle towards the Money Bin. it squirted out a very tough quick-drying cement that plugged up the hole in the Money Bin until it could be properly repaired.

"Good job, Launchpad!" said Mr. McDuck.

And that was music to my Launchpad's ears.

The End.

(1) I made him up.

I've been TRYING to expand this story to a proper length.