Apple pie

Envy had the surprising abbility to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, looking like the wrong person. EnvyxWinry

As usual, I don't own FMA. You all know what would happen if I did. Something creepy involving Envy... >XD

--- Important: this story takes place mangaverse: Wrath Pride, Father is the equivalent to Dante... but male. Oh, and Envy doesn't have a deep desire to kill Ed. Just likes to bother him and call him chibi-san

Edward stroked his chin, as he stood upon a ladder in a branch of the National Military Library."You know what, Al?" he said to the suit of armor that browsed through books related to the Ishval War.

"What, brother?" he answered, looking up in curiosity.

"I have the feeling I should be somewhere else right now..."

oOo

"Late, always late... He's gonna have to pay for it this time!" she said determined.

Winry's feet pacing across her hotel room could have easily made a ditch. "I bother, and I bother, but noo, the Fullmetal Alchemist is too busy to come over here when he needs automail-check up! That's unforgivable!" she said to herself. "And, besides..." her gaze trailed abscently to a smoking apple pie she had just taken out of the oven.

She smiled for a while. "Oh, someday, he'll end up trying it. He won't get away with not doing it."

oOo

Envy, disguised as Ed Elric, happened to be strolling down the corridor. The only thing that he had to do, was find the Fullmetal pipsqueak's room, break into it, and make a detailed recognition of the place, for future convinience. As easy as that.

Halfway through the corridor, he leant his back against a wall, and sighed. "Arghh, it's always me who does the boring jobs. Why not get Wrath to do it, eh? Why me?" he kind of pouted. "Better keep going. Where's that goddamned roo---" but his phrase was cut, because he was forcefully pulled into one of the rooms.

He had been pulled so strongly, he lost his balance and fell flat on his face. "What the heck?" he growled, as he got to his feet.

"EDWARD!" a creepy voice behind him called.

"Ughhh". That voice had sounded kind of... ugghhh. He slowly turned around, with the 'I'm-in-trouble' look. "H-heyy... how are you doing?" he asked as innocently as his voice allowed him to. Winry stood, hands on her hips, looking at him with a face that read "You're SO dead!"

Of course, Envy knew who the girl was. And that her face wasn't probably lying...

"Ha! And you even have the decency to show up, even when it's 35 past 5!" she scolded, holding a handle in one hand, and in the other, a wrench. Envy instinctively took a step backwards. What was he supposed to do in those situations? "...so?" he asked.

"So?" she repited, angry. "I've been waiting for you since 5!"

Think fast! Envy told himself. "I had to finish some stuff with that bastard colonel, that's all." he lied. He still held some fondness for his life, as artificial as it might have been. "I don't have much time, you know..." he continued, eyeing the clock on the wall. "Still need to get paperwork done."

"You do paperwork?" Winry asked skeptically.

"It seems" he said, looking at his nails as if they were the most interesting thing to look at in the room.

"We could leave the automail check up for later..." she said, looking thoughtful. Envy scanned his memory. There was something that irked him as wrong. Ah, yes. Wasn't the girl supposed to love automail much, much more than anything else in the entire world? Wasn't she supposed to obsess over automail? And she was leaving it for later? He took another step backwards.

But then, he spotted something on the table, and his mind did a sudden click. There was a smoking pie which seemed to have just come out of the oven. He shrugged. "And what's that for?" he asked, pointing at the pie.

Envy thought he'd never seen someone get so flushed. "Well..." she said, with sad eyes, "Mrs. Hughes taught me how to make it, and I've been working in the recipe. I think I've improved a lot, and I wanted you to give me your opinion on how it tastes..."

Mrs. Hughes? Ah, right. That wimp's wife. He fell for it so easily. I wonder if he ever thought his wife had killed him? Envy though with amusement.

"Ed?" Winry asked concerned. Envy came back to Earth and found the girl putting a hand to his forehead. "You sure you're feeling well?" she asked. The homunculus flinched at the touch "Yeah, perfect" he said.

"How about you have a seat? I'll get you a glass of water."

OK. Envy sat on a wooden chair next to the table, and sighed. Those kind of things only happened to him. Now he was stuck with being Ed until he managed to get out of there. He just couldn't kill Winry and leave just like that, because Father had said that the girl was important blackmail material in case Ed or Al refused to cooperate with them. Which was very likely.

So he, with a very well hidden sigh, called the girl; "Hey, Win!"

Winry walked backwards looking huh? all the way. "Huh?" she said. Envy sweatdropped.

"I really, really need to go now..." he whined, surprising himself how much like Ed he sounded. Winry frowned, pensive. She finally smiled creepily. The undercover homunculus shivered.

"Fine, I'll let you go to your paperwork under one condition: try the pie."

Envy blinked. "Um, sure?... Bring it on?" She giggled, and uncovered the smoking something that was on the table. The sin had to admit it didn't look half bad. Or smell half bad.

The mechanic cut a slice and gave it to him without any further protocol, since there didn't seem to be time for it...

Envy ate it quite uneasy under her eyes that shined in anticipation. Will he like it? the girl was thinking, as she followed her supposed friend's movements, expecting THE veredict.

Ed's impostor finished the last bit, and, deciding that it'd be best to keep neutral, he didn't either frown or smile. His face went blank, but he stated, "It's good...". Winry squealed in delight, and the next moment she was kissing him -Envy- on the lips.

The homunculus tried to look as Ed as possible while figuring out what to do next. He truly was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, looking like the wrong person.

"Hey, I got to go right now." he said, as his mind screamed "EEEEEEEEEKKK"

Winry lowered her head, with a sad smile. "Yeah, I guess..."

Envy cursed inwardly. "Hey, I'm gonna be back, it's not the end of the world!"

"That's right!" she said, a little more cheerfully.

He turned round, waved good-bye, and left. She sat on the couch and smiled. She was sure she was blushing...

oOo

Later, Ed remembered that he'd been supposed to go to visit Winry. Against his will, he found himself knocking on her door. "H-hey... Win? You there?" he said, sincerely hoping she wasn't. He knew that she'd probably be so angry she'd throw at him all the different sizes of wrenches she carried around in her suitcase. If not the whole suitcase...

"Hey Ed! Come in " she said cheerfully, leaving him totally speechless.

"S-sure..." he stuttered, and closed the door behind him. "Hey Win..." he started, swallowing hard.

"Mmm?" she said, smiling at him pleasantly, too pleasantly. He shuffled his feet.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come today for the check up... I... totally forgot..."

She giggled. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying I'm sorry for not coming today!" he said a little louder.

"Come on, if you were here!" she answered. He was starting to lose his temper.

"HOW COME I? I WAS ALL THE GODDAMN AFTERNOON INSIDE THAT STINKING LIBRARY! I AM POSITIVE I DIDN'T COME ANYWHERE NEAR THIS HOTEL!"

Ed was sure that now he had been convincing enough. But now his interlocutor looked... disturbed.

Winry froze, her smile dropped, and her eyes widened in shock. "Then who on Earth did I kiss!"

Haha, quite weird, but out-of-my daily themes. (Envy, angst, character death, homunculus, Envy... etc.) Bah, not SO MUCH... there was quite enough of Envy in this, hehe...

Oh, anyway. R&R!