Blocked

by Erin Griffin

Fandom: Dr. Who

Summary: Donna had aquired all of the Doctor's memories. Did he really think she wouldn't know how to block his attempt to erase her own mind of him?

Disclaimer: Dr. Who is owned by BBC

Spoilers: Though this story is slightly AU for the end of the episode, it spoils Journey's End of series 4.

Note: I was so distraught after I saw the series, fell in love with Donna, got so happy learning she was part Time Lord (thought she would stay another series at least, which made me insanely happy), and then learned what they ended up doing with the character. I needed to write this in order to feel even a little bit okay about it.

"No! No please! I wanna stay!" I called, but still he advanced on me. Normally, I would have made a crack about personal space, but I knew what he was about to do. I jerked away from him, but still he advanced, ready to wipe my mind.

I knew I wasn't supposed to do it, but I didn't want my story to end like that, with me not knowing all the things I could do. I didn't want to ever refer to myself as 'just a temp' ever again. I didn't want to believe my mother when she said I was useless, which would have happened if I didn't trap the few small memories somewhere safe in my mind, the memories I was able to keep him away from as he wiped everything else away.

The next I knew, I was in bed, and the only thing that woke me was the phone. I jumped up, sure it was one of my mates. I picked up the phone and hung up on them right away, but still I kept talking all sorts of nonsense that now mean little to nothing to me anymore as I listened to him tell my mother and grandfather that I mustn't know what I already knew. I knew more than that, though. I remembered his true name. I heard my grandfather call him Doctor, but I knew better. When he came out towards the kitchen, he said goodbye, and I dismissed him. I wanted to hug him and challenge him to find a companion as cool as me, but I held back, pretending he was a stranger. We were never really big on sentiment, anyway. Still, as he walked away, there was something on his face, something I hoped I wouldn't see there. He was going to miss me, but there was something else I noticed, something that caused me to pause.

He knew. He knew that I still had the memories in my head, and we both knew what they would eventually do to me. I would rather die tomorrow as Doctor Donna of the Ood song with at least a few small things of my time with him to cherish, than to live long and prosper with the knowledge that I would always be a nobody. He knew, and yet he still left with the smallest of nods, because he knew it was my choice, because deep down, I knew he wasn't cruel enough to let me live that way. So on that note, I watched him leave, stopping long enough to keep up the cherade with my grandfather, and then I heard a sound I knew I would never forget no matter how many times he wiped my mind. The Tardis was gone, and I remembered his name. As it came to me, I smiled nostalgically. Then I hung the phone up and went to watch the telly with my granddad for the last time.

End