Summary: In which Gai faces his most terrifying enemy yet: old age.
No Warnings!! That's a first, eh?
Written while I listened to Bones Shatter by Hedley; over and over again. That song is awesome, by the way. It was just something fun to write while I wait for my NTL muse to return. (To those of you who have read my NTL Kaka/Saku story and are still impatiently awaiting an update, I promise that I shall not write anything else until I update.)
Grey
Might Gai sighed pleasurably as he looked out his apartment window, watching the people in the streets below as they went about their daily business. Some walked briskly, ignoring the villagers around them as they strode purposefully towards their destinations, while others meandered aimlessly, pausing every so often at one of the many shops that lined the streets when some sort of ware caught their wandering eye.
A yellow haired ball of energy suddenly bounded into view, grinning widely as he drew near his friend and teammate Sakura. His arms crossed behind his head, he nudged the pink-haired hokages' apprentice, his mouth opening and closing rapidly as he spoke. A moment later, in response to whatever suggestion or request Naruto had made, Sakura's fist connected with the side of his bewhiskered face, launching him into the air; he slid to a stop several feet away, dust rising in a cloud around him. He cupped his injured cheek and let out a wail loud enough for even Gai to hear. Sakura, her own face red with rage, stormed away, glancing back once with murder glinting in her green eyes, as if to dare him to try and follow.
Gai smiled and sighed again, leaning back and puffing out his chest. "Ah…the never ending wonders of spring time! It warms my heart to see the youth of Konoha out and about, conversing and frolicking together. "
Leaving the outside world to its supposed "frolicking", Gai turned and went to his bathroom, donning his forest-green jumpsuit as he did so. Making sure it was as disturbingly tight and flexible as always with a few stretches, he glanced into the mirror to examine his facial area.
"Hmm…my hair seems to be particularly unruly today," he mused to himself, not looking away from his reflection as he felt around the sink for his brush. Grasping its slightly worn wooden handle, Gai ran the soft black bristles through his similarly black hair a few times, smoothing out his already perfect locks until its usual sheen was even more pronounced.
As he preened, something flashed in his peripheral; it was small and thin, twisting and weaving its way towards earth, shining brightly whenever the fluorescent light hit it just right. Returning his brush to his original position, Gai knelt down and pinched the shiny whatever-it-was between his finger and thumb, squinting his eyes as he examined it. Then, he let out an incredibly girlish shriek and dashed out of his apartment, nearly running over the elderly landlady and ensuring that the enraged woman would be raising his rent that month, no matter how charming the jumpsuit clad jounin may be.
The very thing that had terrified the hardened ninja still clenched tightly in his hand, Gai raced into the village, searching desperately for his long-time rival and friend.
He found the renounced copy-ninja in one of his usual hideouts. The other jounin was roosting in a massive tree with a very familiar orange book.
Garbed in his usual attire, and with his hair in its usual disarray, Kakashi peeked over the edge of his book at his fast approaching, self-proclaimed rival and sighed. 'Whatever it is, I'm sure it's stupid,' he thought, raising his book enough so that his one exposed eye was totally hidden from view.
"Kakashi!" Gai shouted, staring up imploringly at the copy-ninja. "Something terrible has happened!"
"Really now?" Kakashi drawled in response. He glanced around his paperback at Gai. "Hmm…well, your obviously not injured, and if Lee was, you wouldn't be here….So I'm thinking it can't be too terrible."
"But it is!" the green ninja insisted.
"Did someone die?" Kakashi asked.
"Well, no, but-"
Kakashi cut him off. "In that case, it's clearly not terrible enough to interest me." He went back to his reading, but was stopped again when Gai let out an anxious whine.
"Please! Can we put aside our petty rivalry for just a moment, Kakashi?! This is too serious to let out differences interfere!" Gai all but begged for Kakashi to come down and listen.
'It must have really freaked him out, to have him call our so called "rivalry" petty,' Kakashi pondered. Deciding he might as well hear Gai out, the silver-haired man swung his legs over the thick branch he rested upon and jumped down; he tucked his book into his pouch with a last forlorn glimpse at its severely worn out pages.
"Alright, Gai, what happened?"
Gai, with a relieved sigh, began his tale. "I was brushing my hair this morning after watching Sakura punch Narutos lights out when something shiny caught my eye."
'Yup. It's stupid,' Kakashi thought, shaking his head as Gai went on.
"I picked it up off the floor and realized that…that…" Gai swallowed, as though it pained him to go on. "LOOK!" He finally gasped out, whipping his hand out with is finger and thumb pinched together once more.
"…At…what?" Kakashi asked after a moment, tilting his head to the side with his eye narrowed in hopes of figuring out what his frantic friend was going on about.
"This! This…this…HAIR!" Gai screeched, his arm jerk spasmodically as he brandished the tiny strand of hair that danced and waved in his grip.
Kakashi couldn't stave off his surprised and amused chuckle, not that he tried very hard. "A hair?" he smirked, one thin eyebrow raised. "Yes, I can see why this might be bad. I must notify the Hokage immediately; we can't have stray hairs running amuck in Konoha. Think of the panic that will ensue!"
Kakashi plucked the dreaded follicle from Gai's hand, twisting it between his fingers as the other man whined again.
"You don't understand, Kakashi! It's not just a hair! It's a grey hair!"
Kakashi scrutinized the hair and shook his head. "Looks silver to me…"
"A grey hair!" Gai went on as though Kakashi hadn't spoken, pacing and waving his arms wildly. "My body has betrayed my youthful spirit!"
The copy-ninja rolled his eye. "It' not that big of a deal, Gai. Calm down. People are starting to stare." And they were; a few villages had stopped in their tracks and were staring at the hysterical Might Gai as he lost his mind over a little grey hair.
Again, Gai ignored him. "You don't understand!" he reiterated. "You don't know what it's like to have grey hair in the very prime of your life!"
Kakashi eyed him in disbelief and grabbed his arm, yanking him to a halt. "Don't know what it's like to have grey hair, huh? Dude, my hair has been grey since I was a little kid! I think I know what it's like to feel old."
"And that's exactly why you don't understand! You've always had those horrifying grey hairs! Mine has always been perfectly black!" Gai was practically crying, dropping to his knees and clutching Kakashi's pants.
"Oh, please! Stop that!" Kakashi groaned, shoving Gai away. "You're an elite ninja, crying over old age! It happens to everyone."
Gai didn't seem to hear him. His hand covered his eyes as he gasped and blubbered pathetically.
'Oh, god…I can't take this any more!' Kakashi grabbed his friends' shoulders and shook him until the other man looked up.
"It's not your hair!"
Gai rubbed his eyes and sniffed. "W-what?"
"Because I can no longer stand the sight of you sniveling all over my pants, I'll admit it; It. Is. Not. Your. HAIR." Kakashi ground each word out, stepping back as Gai heaved himself to his feet. "I would've told you sooner," he added, smirking, "but your overreaction was unexpectedly amusing."
"But…if it's not mine, whose is it?" Gai asked, watching as Kakashi released the grey hair; a playful breeze caught the follicle, carrying it along as it danced and twirled.
Kakashi let out an exasperated sigh. "It's mine, you dunderhead."
Gai, relief slowly stealing into his giant, bushy-brow-shadowed eyes. "So…it's not mine…But how did your hair get into my bathroom?"
Kakashi tilted his head, running a hand through his head nervously as he chuckled. "Um…eh heh…Well, you see, yesterday, Sakura-chan was suddenly overcome with an incredibly powerful urge to tame my "bushy mane", as she less-than-affectionately refers to it as." The copy-ninja pointed at his silver locks, which Gai, previously too preoccupied with his old-age phobia to noticed, now realized was drooping slightly to one side, and the usual tangles that made it stand up straighter were no where to be found. "And, to be perfectly honest," Kakashi continued, "I don't have a brush or a comb to my name." He shrugged, having the grace to look embarrassed as he explained how Gai came to possess one of his stray hairs. "So, Sakura borrowed yours."
"Why didn't she use one of her own?"
"Your apartment was closer, and we both knew you had a brush or a comb somewhere. No one has hair that naturally faultless."
Gai thought about this. 'So…I'm not getting old!' His expression brightening infinitely, and he slapped Kakashi on the shoulder so heartily, the other man stumbled and winced.
"HAHAHA! What a relief! It's so great to know that my body will remain as youthful as my spirit for years to come!" He laughed joyfully, throwing his arms up and showing his teeth in grin to rival Narutos'.
'Yeah, right,' Kakashi thought irritably, rubbing his shoulder and slipping a hand in his pouch to retrieve his favorite book.
"Yup! No grey hairs for me!" Gai went on, still laughing wildly. The few people that had stopped to watch the strange, jump-suited man walked briskly away, muttering amongst themselves and casting backward glances every so often.
"Yeah," Kakashi agreed, flipping through the pages of his book. "No grey hairs for you." Looking up suddenly, he reached out towards Gai.
"Except this one, of course," he added, grinning as plucked out one of Gai's hairs and it out; it waved pleasantly in the wind, glinting in the sunlight.
Gai shrieked like a little girl for the second time that day and crumpled to the ground.
Kakashi strolled leisurely away. "Some people have nooo sense of humor!" he laughed to himself, allowing another of his silver hairs to float away on the gentle wind.
Gai is petrified of getting grey hairs; Kakashi doesn't care what his hair looks like, as long as it's still there. ^^
BTW, I have NO idea why Gai-sensei was standing at the window without his jumpsuit on. So don't ask. You're better off not thinking about it anyway, lol.