legal *ahem* disclaimer: no ants were harmed during the making of this story. *coughs* written for the la_corda_fics livejournal community writing competition. prompt: luck. ^-^
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'Mmph, ants are the very bane of my existence—'
—thought one Hihara Kazuki as he stared at a proud, straight line of black ants and simultaneously chomped on freshly baked meaty bun. Lucky ants, ha! He glared at them mutinously and huffed—with another death glare he turned his back on the tiresome creatures and resumed loud chomping on his food.
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They came out of nowhere—Kaho and I lived a blissful, ant-free, married life, until they stormed in and conquered us with fire and water.
To be fair, they didn't bother Kaho too much. But they seemed to single me out as their number one enemy, from the first day they arrived, and I have all the reasons to wonder just why. They attacked my innocent meaty bun, they invaded my clothes, and they dared to bite me in all sorts of places with an utter disregard for privacy.
"Maybe they're man-eating," I suggested to Kaho one day, as I held my arm out for her to inspect. It was pockmarked with small, red spots, and you bet I'm irritated as hell. "I think they've matured into mutant ants—developed a taste for human flesh or something."
"Kazuki, dear, don't be silly," said my Kahoko as she tossed her hair and laughed her beautiful laugh. "They're just ants."
"Mutant ants," I insisted stubbornly. "I mean, they're black! I didn't even know black ants bit people!"
"They're just ants, Kazuki," she repeated, and then with a sigh of defeat rolled her eyes. "Nami told me that black ants are supposed to bring luck to the house they enter."
So they'd decided to steal my wife's heart as well? Was nothing sacred?
And so I tossed and turned every night and cruelly brushed off the whispery, crawling sensation I felt on my legs, on my arms, and sometimes at the nape of my neck. Kaho, for some irritating, unfathomable reason, continued to sleep undisturbed. I resumed the mundane routine of shaking my clothes out before I wore them and grimly watched tiny black bodies fall from the fabric. I even blasted them off our bananas at breakfast, one by one, but it was difficult to aim, because they were so small. Kaho repeated what she had said to me before—that black ants bring luck, and still I refused to believe her. I usually pride myself for being an easy-to-please, cheerful, positive-thinking person, but not this time—ants definitely were a menace.
I finally snapped when they made it into the cookie jar. Sealed by me personally, and they still managed to make their way in short of nibbling a hole through the glass. I lost it.
"All ants should die a slow, painful death, and then cease to exist so no one would have to clean up the bodies," I raged at Kaho that night as she wiped her bow clean. What do you know, instead of sympathizing, she chuckled.
"Aren't you going a bit far with this whole ant business?"
I glowered. "They're evil. Evil. I caught them swarming over my trumpet the other day! My trumpet, Kaho! What on Earth could ants want with a trumpet?!"
"Maybe they were blessing it," she teased, knowing that I was frustrated with her lack of support and continued echo that ants brought luck. "Maybe you'll be able to compose a beautiful piece on it or something."
"Kaho, ants are not lucky!" I protested. "They're pests and nuisances to society and should never have been created!"
"Whatever you say, Kazuki…"
Frustrated with her indifference, I made a vow to myself.
This is war!!!
Since I wasn't too sure how to shoo ants away—swatting worked at the moment I did the swatting, but ten times the ants I have swatted turned up to replace the lost ones and swell their ranks—I decided to resort to good old pest extinguisher, which, after a short phone call, Fuyuumi-chan assured me worked quite well.
"I'm buying that poison stuff tomorrow," I informed Kaho as brightly as I could as we got into bed the following night. "I'm reveling in the fact that they won't plague me anymore this time tomorrow. Tonight's your last chance, ants!" I added impishly to the bedcover, underneath which I knew lurked an army.
Kaho only shook her head, amused as she was with my declaration. "Aww, the poor things don't have a personal vendetta against you, Kazuki…" I was about to strongly protest both her statement and the fact that she had called them 'poor things' when she added, a mischievous smile tugging the corners of her mouth, "...and besides, they bring us luck."
I had just about lost my patience with her mantra. "Hihara Kahoko!" I barked,"Will you tell me one good thing that's happened since the ants came here?! Just one lucky thing!!!"
She gave me a grin and said softly, "Well, I'm pregnant."
As I was saying, ants are a wonderful asset to the community, delivering luck and joy to the world as they blaze a beautiful trail into people's homes, leaving wonder and love in their wake, and I gladly welcome them into our home.
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whoever said that hihara kazuki isn't capable of acting all pouty and childish? and at twenty five? :3 for talbot-stark.