Kneeling solemnly in front of the altar, Rhea prayed fervently for the souls of Vince and Nico. If only she had been stronger maybe they wouldn't have turned hollow... She had failed on her pilgrimage and she had failed her family back in Thorolund. The sound of footsteps distracted Rhea. Turning around she came face to face with Petrus.
"P-Petrus," she stammered. "Thank goodness. I thought I lost you forever."
"As did I, my lady. A certain Undead told me of your rescue and I thought that I would check on you."
"I was such a fool, Petrus, to think that I could find the Rite of Kindling... and now Vince and Nico are..."
"Now, now, child. What's done is done. Let us return to Thorolund." Petrus reached out and grabbed Rhea's hand, firmly.
"But Petrus, our mission isn't over."
"Who said anything about bringing you back alive, whore?" Petrus barked as he struck Rhea across the face.
"P-Petrus, what are you doing!?" Rhea cried.
"What I should have done a long time ago!" Petrus began to unbuckle his trousers with his free hand. Rhea tried to run away but Petrus held onto her arm and refused to let go.
"You were always better at giving than receiving, my lady. Let's show the gods how impure of a servant you are. I must warn you, though. I haven't bathed in weeks and armor is prone to keeping in the sweat and grime of the body." Petrus pushed Rhea down onto the ground and grabbed her by her hair. Tears were welling up in her eyes. Petrus began to pant heavily as he wasn't used to such sexual excitement. In one quick motion, Petrus pulled off his soggy loins and threw them at the altar. He chuckled in defiance.
"Where are your gods now, Rhea of Thorolund? Surely they would save a priestess such as yourself. Oh wait, gods don't save whores!" Petrus slapped Rhea again and then pulled her in closer to his engorged and chubby dagger. He prodded her pale cheek with it, moving it ever closer to her mouth. "Oh Vince! Oh Nico! Save me!" Petrus said in a mocking tone. "What was wrong with me Rhea? Was I not good enough for you!? Was I too fat for you!? I saw the way you looked at Vince and Nico, that lust in your eyes!"
"Please Petrus, you're a good man. You belong to the Way of the White!" Rhea cried.
"Oh, I'll show you some white all right!" Petrus suddenly shoved his finger into Rhea's mouth. He triggered her gag reflex and when her mouth opened, Petrus crammed his stout spear down her throat. Rhea's eyes went wide with surprise. Petrus moaned in ecstasy as he pumped his spear back and forth out of Rhea's mouth, torrents of pleasure washing over him.
"Bite and you die, bitch. I'll club your fucking head in," Petrus glared. In the seminary of the Way of White, it was forbidden for men and women to sleep together, as it tainted their purity and receptiveness to the gods' message. It had been a long time since Petrus had been intimate with a woman, and the fact that he was defiling a priestess, the daughter of a noble family no less, made him harder than the Moonlight Greatsword from Seath The Scaleless.
Petrus began to moan as thrusted faster and harder into Rhea's soft, moist mouth. Her tears were acting as some kind of lubricant which pleased Petrus greatly. He grasped Rhea's head and began to pump frantically in and out of her mouth; her tongue felt so nice on his reinforced club. So forceful was the pumping that several of Petrus' fat rolls smacked Rhea in the face, causing her hood to fall off, revealing her beautiful red hair. Petrus shoved his nose into her hair and inhaled deeply. The scent of angels.
"By the gods! By the gods!" Petrus stammered. "Here comes the sticky white stuff!" 10 years worth of Petrus' vile sticky fluid flowed endlessly down Rhea's throat. She cringed in disgust. Petrus withdrew his dagger from Rhea's mouth as she coughed horribly. She spit the fluid out onto the cold stone floor of the chapel which angered Petrus. He slapped her again.
"Even my magic fluid isn't good enough for you, whore!? Maybe I'll have to give you something special then, so you'll love me forever!" Petrus pushed Rhea onto the cold stone floor and ripped her cloak off, revealing her pale and lithe body. Petrus stuck his face into Rhea's ass and moved his head back and forth really fast, flopping her buttcheeks to and fro.
"Oh, your mountainous ridge is amazing! Let's see your mossy bank!" Petrus threw Rhea over and began to inspect her crystal cavern with newfound curiosity. There was no moss there. "Do you use a dagger down here?" Petrus asked with a his eyebrow cocked. "Who were you keeping it fresh for?"
"P-please," Rhea stammered. "I won't tell anyone, just please stop."
Petrus' cheeks began to flush as his sapling went from being short and withered to short and stout, like the full bodied trunk of a tree that had just been cut down in Dickstab Forest. "I thought that would take longer but I'm already hard again. If only I had experienced this years ago, before I joined the Way of the White!" Petrus' tongue began to explore Rhea's landscape, flickering back and forth on her salty crevices like the tongue of a crystal lizard. He found her small breasts and started to kneed them tenaciously. A moan escaped Rhea's mouth. She guiltily tried to cover it up with her hands. Petrus grinned at her and continued to kneed her breasts, as if he were the finest baker in Thorolund, making bread and pizza for the entire town. Petrus of Thorolund: The Dough Kneeder.
"Rhea, your breasts are miraculous!" Petrus' tongue flicked back and forth on her pale mounds as Rhea gasped. With his other hand Petrus reached down to Rhea's crystal cavern and began to fingerbang it with the iron will of Tarkus himself. Rhea's body began to convulse with pleasure as much as she tried to fight it. She cried out as some primal form of force sprang out of her crystal cavern.
Petrus held his titanite slab in front of Rhea's cavern. He looked deeply into her eyes as her body began to become tranquil. "Say that you love me," he asked solemnly.
Rhea looked at Petrus and said "Never."
Petrus began to cry but he quickly wiped away the tears. "This one is for you Vince and Nico!" Petrus whinded up and slammed his titanite slab into Rhea's crystal cavern with the wrath of a thousand gods. Rhea screamed as red liquid began to pour out of her cavern around Petrus' slab, pooling on the cold stone floor.
"No!" Petrus stammered. "I know you're a whore! Maybe you didn't let them into your cavern but there's other tricks a whore can use!" Petrus began to pump in and out of Rhea's moist cavern. His rolls of fat making a "slap-slap-slapping" sound as he gave her the stumpy dagger. Petrus' eyes began to roll into the back of his head in ecstasy, saliva dripped out of his mouth and down his chest. Rhea remained motionless on the cold floor. No more tears left inside of her. Petrus grabbed Rhea by the neck and began to jackhammer her cavern like the Giant Blacksmith hammered metal on his anvil. He grunted again and again as his rolls of fat sloshed to and fro off of Rhea's frail body.
"Oh, oh, oh!" Petrus exclaimed, his eyes wide with amazement, his fat shaking vigorously. "Here comes the sun!" HERE IT COMES! PRAISE THE SUN!" Another bucket of sticky white stuff flooded the walls of Rhea's New Londo Ruins. Petrus felt bad for whomever ventured into her ruins next as the fluid was everywhere. Petrus pulled out his occult club and rested his head on Rhea's sweaty mounds. Both of their chests rising and falling like a slumbering undead dragon.
"You might never love me, but if the gods are just, you'll love this child I just gave you." Petrus said. Rhea whimpered with sorrow.
Suddenly a steel gauntlet grabbed Petrus by the shoulder and yanked him off of Rhea's defiled temple.
"Who the fu-" Petrus stammered but then he saw him. The Undead.
"I-It's not w-what it looks like! We were practicing miracles together! Rhea, tell him how we were practicing miracles!" Petrus yelled as he began to desperately crawl away. The Undead grabbed Petrus by the throat. "Please, Undead! I can sell you-" The Undead skewered Petrus to the floor with his +15 Zweihander. Blood spurted out of Petrus' tubby body as the sword cleaved through him.
"I just wanted... someone to love me..." Petrus gasped weakly. "Was... that too much to ask?" Petrus' head fell limp, and so too, did his titanite slab, which was still erect from plowing Rhea's cavern.
The Undead pulled his sword out and then walked over to Rhea. Kneeling down on the ground, The Undead covered Rhea with her cloak and then he picked her up off the ground. She looked into The Undead's eyes.
"I have lost all those who were close to me. Pray tell, will I lose you too, chosen Undead?"
The Undead, always silent, said nothing as he carried Rhea to Firelink Shrine.