Equinox

Chapter One

I didn't know what I was doing. It's like the kiss wasn't really anything more than the pressing of two sets of lips against each other, saliva mixing grossly and puckered sounds too loud in the darkness. Breathing, I also heard that.

I don't know how long it lasted either, but I knew I wanted to separate the moment the first gentle peck was placed on chapped lips. I was sure I was going to feel, you know, something about the whole exchange. But... I didn't know what I was doing. I still don't even know what prompted me. The feeling in my gut beforehand was like a molten lava cake yet when the touch was finally administered, everything floated away from my mind and I was left with only the sense and knowledge of uncomfortable touch. Of lips smacking uncoordinatedly together. And of my own heart pounding against his, whether it was from arousal or fear.

But I'm betting by the state of me now hiding beneath a pile of coats in my closet, my back pressed firmly to the whitewashed wall and pounding my head into my balled up fists, that the feeling was more of the latter.

I didn't want it to be that way, it's just how it ended up being. And by the time it was over, my head felt heavier than lighter. By the amount of movies I'd seen in my prepubescent youth, I thought quite confidently that that was not the correct response to being kissed and to kissing the person you've held silent feelings for.

But maybe it was because we both weren't normal people to each other.

You know what, let me just start from the beginning.

(Several Months Earlier)

I don't like dances. I've only been to one dance in my entire life, besides the current one I'm trying to avoid at all costs, and that one lowered all my expectations I had for any sort of gatherings of people, music, and 'age appropriate' drinks. I think I might throw up if I think about the DJ Remixes.

It was the one in middle school. It was some excuse dance for, I don't know what it was we were celebrating, probably Valentine's day, and where there were supposed to be chaperones were instead the lazy eyes of teachers too tired to separate girls grinding on their boyfriends and guys pumping their fists in all sorts of directions. I somehow got into the middle of said mess and my nostrils filled with a stench of overused cologne, sickening sweet perfume and stenching breath that smelled like Hot Cheetos.

It's nauseating, the entire ordeal.

Oh and then there's the whole finding a partner to take with you. Ack. I can't even find a pair to my left sock in the mornings, much less someone who's willing to put up with my presence for a full night that will undoubtedly send me into my usual spasms.

I sunk my head onto my desk as my Government class listened in on a documentary about 'The Economy and the Environment'. Honestly, it was interesting for a total of ten minutes. Then my mind wandered, and that's when I knew I was never going to know the 2004 based analysis of carbon dioxide increase. (Which, I should give more of a shit about.) I could hear the soft chatter of people around me in the dark lit room going on and on about who they're taking to Homecoming and what they're going to wear and who should be Homecoming Queen, which, spoiler, was probably not going to be 'that snobby bitch Rachel'.

My head sunk lower. My stomach felt queasy just thinking about this stupid dance that I was being dragged to.

"Agh, you guys suck," I whispered to the center of my table, glaring at the scratches into the desktop.

Token Black, our school's anticipated future Valedictorian since elementary school, only made a slight nod to the right of me as he tried to take notes from the documentary.

"That's nice Tweek…," The 'mother' of our group whispered back as his hand shifted to turn his paper of notes.

Clyde Donovan, who once ate mashed potatoes mixed with orange juice and sriracha sauce at our lunch table without even being dared to, stuck out his tongue from the seat diagonal of mine and passed me a crumpled piece of paper with a crude drawing of me making a grumpy face. Next to it, there were a few spiral doodles and some triangles turned into taco shapes. I only passed back the paper with the words: 'My hair's not that spiky'.

Clyde made a raised brow and tugged at a strand of his hair to pull it up as if to show me exactly how my hair looked. I made a mock sound of quiet, wheezed laughter. I would have flipped him off if the person sitting next to him hadn't done that for me.

Craig Tucker, my best friend whom everyone would assume to be the exact opposite, looked between us briefly, previously woken from his nap, and snatched the note from Clyde. He quickly wrote something on it and slid it back to me casually. I rose my head from the desk to squint at the small handwriting.

'Are you still upset at us for getting you to go to homecoming?'

I reached up with my right arm and wrote three squiggly capital letters.

'Y E S'

Craig considered that in a thoughtful expression and an amused smirk until writing down his next words and passing it back.

'Get over it, hermit. You're still going.'

I sighed into the desk, banging my forehead softly against the table.

Token sighed back, as this was distracting him, and lifted my head momentarily to put his jacket underneath it. He then went back to scrawling notes about climate change.

"Dude, I- I don't know about this. Maybe I should just stay in. It won't, ngh, be the first one I've missed. And, you know, the first one I went to was shit- you were there! You saw! Someone literally puked on the floor. Dances are full of bacteria and disease! And I- I don't even think I know how to dance-"

"Hold on, I heard half of that," Craig interrupted before, what we both knew, a potential rant were to come flying from my mouth.

"You're not an expert on dances, Tweek, just because you experienced one bad one," Craig said nonchalantly next to me, sticking out his tongue to uppercut my character Yoshi in Super Smash Bros with Captain Falcon. A resounding 'Falcon Punch!' came from the screen as Yoshi was tossed skyward and I groaned loudly. With that, it was the end of the round and a victory screen for Captain Falcon appeared with our stats. I blew out a breath and tossed the controller on my bed next to me as Craig sat up to lace the strings of his polished black boots.

We had skipped the game. Large crowds. Upheavals of blared horns and the band's percussion. It wasn't my thing. Not that watching the game was any more of my thing. Which it wasn't. Some coaches from High School recruitments would always want guys like me, with small and flighty physiques, to join as a runner. At least until they realized my lack of coordination and agility could quickly kill the team's reputation. They stopped looking at me in hallways after freshmen year. I was glad.

Avoiding the games always seemed to be a shared bond between Craig and I, so we would always end up here, in my messy dark lit room with only the light of the television to provide our evening's entertainment. Those nights are usually nice and comforting. For one, Craig was just a comforting person to me. Though he had this hard exterior and most would call him boring, I liked that we didn't have surprises with each other. I like his boring. So, I just can't get my head around why he would want to change a perfectly good habit. Homecoming nights were reserved for shutting ourselves in, as they've become tradition. So, what, now are we just supposed to abandon that and not follow the norm? That's- that's… pressure.

"Why do you wanna go anyway?" I found the question slipping out of my mouth after he sat back up from tying his boots. He glanced at me and made a shrug.

"Our last year, I guess. Kinda always wanted to see that yearly prank they do on the Homecoming Couple and shit. Heard it's a different one every year so no one expects it." He weighed his head from side to side as if he could already imagine that. He stuck his hands into his navy blue jacket covering his white dress shirt and pulled at his black slacks. I still had yet to change, still fighting against going.

I don't care about any of that though. There's- there's gonna be loud music with those awful radio hits. An- and, the punch never tastes like punch, just like rancid kool-aid or something. Then someone always ends up crying. Oh god, what if I'm the one who ends up crying? ...Why I would even be crying, I don't know, but I do know that it all sounded very unpleasant the more I thought on it.

"Don't." Craig took my fingers that had somehow tangled themselves into my hair, holding my twitching hands in silence until the motions stopped. He looked at me coolly as my small panic calmed. I said a soft sorry to which he only nodded with a small shrug and sunk back on my bed, placing his hands on his stomach as he peered up at me.

"We're just gonna hang there for maybe an hour. Then get some IHOP. I'd tell you not to go only that everyone wants you to come." His eyes looked to me carefully as I kept my hands beneath my thighs and looked into my lap.

I thought about that and believed he was lying with a sour taste. Even so, I pinched my fingertips in slow defeat. I wanted to make an effort. For all the shit that Craig did for me, I wanted to make an effort.

"...Can we get banana pancakes?" I asked and made a smile. He raised his brows and made a small one back.

"That stuff is shit. But yeah."

I nodded and swung my legs out to stand, stretching my back and finally attempted to change.

I would like to say that Craig was right. I am in no way, shape, or form an expert on dances. Which is why I show up in a puffy blue outfit along with red bowtie secured tightly around my neck. I loosened it the minute I had a chance as we waited outside our school's Cafeteria doors. Craig masked his smirk as he stood in line in front of me. I scowled at him.

"You could've told me what to wear! I feel, agh, like a- a clown."

"You're fine." Was all he said as I wrestled with the constricting tie, making grunting noises of unease. I could see Craig side glance at me from the corner of his eye as I struggled. I gave him a 'What?' stare. He shot back a once over look and kept himself from laughing. I narrowed my eyes at him as my fingers flitted sporadically around my neck in jittered nerves.

"You're the one who told me not to look while you were changing," He finally said and turned back around.

"That-! Ugh! That doesn't mean you couldn't have at least, agh, said something, jesus- hold this, will you?" I handed him the red bow as I fixed my collar to at least give some room to breathe. My eyes then scanned the area around us, where security guards awaited a few feet away to inspect our belongings. I hated that! I always think I'm carrying something illegal on me and end up freaking out for no reason because all they'll find is my cracked phone and a crumpled ten dollar bill.

A little further ahead I could see blaring red and green and purple lights booming simultaneously with the music coming from the dark Cafeteria, only illuminated by said lights. I made a small screech.

"You- you know what? We still got time to turn around and wait the others out in the parking lot-"

"Honey, ya got your ID?" My eyes met the security guard. Holy shit, when did we get to the front of the line? What, are we some time travelers? Or maybe she just- oh god, she's reading my mind and knew I was going to make a run for it, didn't she?

"I don't have all day," She said more sternly and I looked up to see Craig roll his eyes behind the line. He already went through the process. I fidgeted in my pocket and fished out my ID, with the awful photo of my blinking eyes and gaped mouth.

"H-here, ah, thanks," I said, even though I don't know why I said anything. Just hand her the ID. That's it, Tweek.

She stared at the photo for two seconds then moved me along with her hand. I just about jumped in front of me, crashing into Craig's side and heard him snicker. He passed me my red bow tie back and patted my back to get me to calm my nerves as we slipped inside the 'Chaos Chamber' of a dance.

Immediately, my face was met with cold hands. I yelped in surprise but that didn't stop them, I knew it wouldn't.

"Tweeky, you came! You look so cute!" Bebe shouted at me as her hands pinched at my cheeks. Her breath at least smelled nice. She then squeezed me into a hug which I tried to squirm out of. I don't know what it is, but me and physical touch just don't mix very well. I've tried to get into the habit of giving people those side hugs I see often. Usually, I attempt the move then fail to carry it through as I imagine sharing any of my body parts with someone else's. It's a little weird for me. Even with my mom and dad. Craig just says that's how I'm wired. That was a good word for it.

"Ah! Thanks, I guess-uh, you look nice too." I replied in a scratchy shout. Really, she did look nice. She wore this white, fitting dress that seemed to be cut and formed in all the right places… I mean, I guess so, because when Clyde describes girls, this is usually how he forms their image in my head for me to understand. Like a pear or hourglass shape, that's what he would say. Her shoes glistened white against the blue tiled floor. Must be hard to walk in those killers. I can't even imagine that danger.

"Aw, thanks, sweetie~," She said then roamed her eyes to my companion who stood a foot taller than me, but was at the same height as her. It was probably because of her shoes…

Man, I really shouldn't have thought about that because then the insecurities of my small height surfaced to my head all at once and I felt like fleeing to the door once more.

"You look nice, Craig," She said, placing her hands at her curved hips. I looked him up and down, following Bebe's eyes. I mean yeah, he's dressed, but honestly, he looked stuffy in his white dress shirt. His eyes narrowed and I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling.

"I know." He simply noted. Bebe looked unamused then assumed her gawking over my presence. No, no, go back to Craig.

"Come on, table's over here- this blue is such an adorable color on you, Tweek!"

"I, yeah, it's cool…" I said to keep up conversation as she tugged me along by my wrist and I caught a hold of Craig's sweater arm, which he refused to take off. Really though, I look like one of Mr. Popper's Penguins which was... adorable, yes, but I don't want to be adorable.

"Tweekers!" Clyde and Token said in unison as our trio made it to the round, festive table. Our school's colors were a 'golden' yellow and 'shining' purple, which was some sort of metaphor for some sort of successful meaning. I'm no interior designer or anyone to criticize color schemes since I can't even sort out my clothes on a daily basis, but the clashing colors made me feel more nauseous.

My back was clapped against by our friends as they made the same greeting to Craig, who pushed off their back clapping. My eyes roamed again, and again, I became freaked by everything I saw. People crowded on a squared dance floor in the middle of dispersing tables with our school's awful color scheme and cheap decorations. They kinda looked like painted toilet paper.

I knew a few faces, and they knew mine, but at the end of it, we all barely knew anything about each other. That's how it's always been for my classmates and me in this town. Sure, we hung out as kids, but after all the childhood games and school- yard fights, I still don't know anyone's favorite color, what they want to be, or even how they act when no one else is around. I don't have those kind of relationships with people.

Even with the guys- who's favorite colors and aspirations (or lack thereof) I do have the pleasure of knowing- I feel like I can't be trusted with those small, insignificant details of their most private lives.

Or maybe I've just never made the effort.

I sunk deeper into myself the more the music blared.

There was a push at my back. I gasped and turned sharply to see Craig raise a brow at me as the others crowded around the table and took 'selfies'. Another insignificant detail that I had no part in.

We made a telepathic conversation. I gave him worried brows and a bathroom glance. He replied with a quirk of his lips and inclined his head to the snack area.

"Let's go see if the punch tastes like powdered kool-aid shit."

I looked down and patted at my pants leg then nodded.

Just to alleviate curiosity, yes, it did taste like powdered kool-aid shit.

I splurted out the juice on my tongue and saw it stain my fingertips. Craig laughed.

"That's sick." I said.

"My ass would taste better."

I laughed at that and smacked his arm. "You're gross, man."

"Just preaching the gospel truth," came his quiet, amused reply as we snickered over unwholesome foods and stained juice that I was never going to get out of this godforsaken blue penguin suit. I was glad as I talked to Craig. Glad that the norm of our hangouts on this godawful evening still seemed to stay a norm, even if the setting was different. But, of course, those good thoughts last for two seconds.

"Uh, hi," I heard from behind me and jumped in my spot. I turned around to see a girl my height with brown and red highlighted hair, look at us shyly. She saw my reaction and covered her mouth with worried brows.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know I startled you!" She cupped her hands to shout at me above the volume of people and music. I think I might have screeched out a reply, but in all honesty, that didn't matter to anyone in a matter of seconds once again.

"Uh, y-you're name is, um, Craig, right?" She spoke loudly to my neighboring giant. I looked between them, sidestepping so that I was not in the middle of this exchange as he looked down at her and nodded simply. She made a breath of laughter.

"Oh, that's cool. Looked like you," She said and pointed to her chest, leaning in. "My name is…" I couldn't hear her too clearly. That, or, my mind simply just got rid of the information. At that point, I had glanced back to the crowd and dug my hands into my pockets to keep them from clawing at my legs in panic.

I heard them entire into murmured conversation. My thoughts drew elsewhere and within minutes, I realized I was sitting at our group's table. Alone.

A slow song came on and I heard clapping as the Homecoming Couple danced, but I didn't look up from the bright, split screen of my phone. Not until my finger clashed at the wrong time and my small bird bounced to the ground in defeat from the pipes. I hated this game.

There was a loud splashing sound.

My eyes widened as I poked my head up in alarm, shaking like a chihuahua. Screams emanated from the crowd of fleeing people, their heads wet with a purple liquid and suits ruined by yellow glitter. This must have been the annual prank. I stood from my seat and could see the Homecoming Couple in the middle of the floor- poor Token and Wendy Testaburger- screaming and laughing in hysterics from the mess. They shook their heads and wiped themselves as best they could, nearly slipping on their walk to the restrooms. I gave Token a worried look to which he saw and shot back a hearty wave and another shake of his head. I let out a soft chuckle, noticing others flocking to my table.

Bebe and Clyde clung onto each other in laughter, bits of yellow glitter shaking off their dusted heads.

"Oh my god. Best one ever! Dude, dude, did you see?" Clyde poked at me. I yelped and stepped away from his glittered mess.

"I- yeah, it was terrifying!" I shouted back as they laughed harder, Bebe kissing his cheek and Clyde swaying and looking around.

"Where'd ole Craigy-poo get off to? I hope to God he did not miss out on that fiesta."

"Probably off with that chick-" Bebe started and Clyde snapped his fingers in remembrance. I stood in confusion.

"Oh, yeah, I saw that. Who'd you say she was again?"

"No, no, I didn't say I knew who she was, but I've seen her with Kevin and David."

My eyebrows quirked, but their conversation did nothing in the least to ease my confusion. But, I guess it didn't matter too much. Craig's gone through girls, and I hate hate hate to say this if it weren't for the fact it was truth, like clothes. He wears them every once in awhile. Some, he can just toss if they're not well suited any longer. Other's, he likes to wear only once out of the blue. Girls just didn't stick around long enough with Craig. It kinda bothered me, though. Why it did, I couldn't really tell. It just did.

But what really bothered me at the moment was that he had ditched us for a change of clothes. On our tradition night, he had ditched me. That didn't sit well in my stomach, but I knew I wouldn't even confront him about it. I'd probably only give him a roll of the eyes at best and beat his ass in Smash.

"Alright, well, guess he's off doing god knows what and who. Ready to go Tweek?" Bebe asked, looking up from her phone at me. I nodded and she smiled back as we all walked out together into the dark parking lot.

"Now we just gotta wait on Token. Dude got turned up," Clyde said, laughing and play punching my shoulder. I chuckled back, my hands still strangling the insides of my pockets as the door opened behind us. Craig stepped through with glitter at his hat and sweater. He wore a frown.

"Well, well, well. Look who showed up out of Party City's asshole," Clyde snickered.

"Save it for Token. Why'd you guys ditch me?" He asked gruffly, looking namely to my direction. I raised my brows and gave him a confused expression.

"We-we thought you ditched us, man!" I said in defense, looking over to Clyde and Bebe, who made 'hmm' sound as she typed at her phone.

Craig shook his head. "Can't even take a quick piss without getting left behind. Ouch." At this point, I knew he started up his sarcasm. I only scrunched my brows at him, though. I think he could see that. And I think he could see what I saw through. He had a 'change of clothes'. His eyes averted as the door threw open again.

"Damn, you guys could have fucking warned me!" Token came out with laughter springing from his gut.

"Look who showed up straight out of Party City's asshole!" Clyde said once more, winking at us before leaping and latching onto Token. "So, now that you've won the title of our honorary King, what are you gonna do now?" Clyde asked in mock interview, pushing his hand that he used as a microphone to Token's mouth.

Token played along and cheered. "I'm goin' to IHOP."

"That's an incredibly lame answer, sir. Why don't you go to Disney Land, greatest place on earth?" Clyde asked ridiculously as we all made our way to Token's car.

"Because I want some motherfucking pancakes." Token replied and pushed Clyde off him as we all circled his car in amusement. Bebe took passenger as Clyde, Craig and I huddled in back. My hands rubbed at each other and shook to get the seat belt to buckle. I noticed Craig stare at me from the corner of my eye and looked up at him, as the others made conversation about Token's 'shit music playlist' in his car.

I quirked my brow in question. He only stared and sighed, flicking his eyes to the window.

"Dances are shit," He said quietly.

"What happened?" I asked.

He shrugged and rolled up the sleeves of his sweater. My eyes gazed down to his arm length tattoo of each planet in their ordered orbit. I liked that one a lot.

"How'd you do?" He asked, side glancing at me as the others found a some good radio station to put on.

"Beat my score at Flappy." I rubbed my fingertips together.

This caught a small snort from him and I twitched a smile. Our gazes lingered for a moment and I had this one, small, maybe slightly insignificant thought at the back of my head. It was the same sort of thought I get when we do this sometimes. It's something where I feel like we're the only two people listening to each other. That we just simply understand. And nothing else or one does. And it's a good sort of feeling that lines in my abdomen. And it's a light sort of feeling from my daily anxieties.

But it's also a very, very puzzling sort of feeling.

Author's Note: Hello lovely people! Thanks for reading my little thingie here. I've wanted to write for South Park for a while. I guess my motivation sort of just spiked so this came out as a result. (Motivation heavily influenced by the new season and Tweek x Craig episode, I mean, I'm not gonna lie) I've got a few others in process of writing as well and it looks like this is gonna be multi-chapter fic, so that'll be fun. Also, some of this is unedited because I am sorta lazy and imperfect, but I tried the best I could and I hope you like the result~ I kinda like it, not gonna lie, but that's only because it's like, 1 in the morning and my judgment is impaired by sleepiness. Ah, welp, what can ya do? Anyways, hope you enjoyed this, guys. If you want more, I've got some stuff coming in. Tell me what you thought, I'd love to hear it. Thanks again and stay tuned for chapter two, I guess~