AN: just a little something that popped into my head last night when the family was re-watching season 6.
Disclaimer: I am female, therefore I am not Joss. (Which is totally unfair...)
Summery: Set in Season 6 Episode(s) Seeing Red and when Buffy had just been shot and was losing blood quickly. What was she thinking during that time, knowing that she might die (again)?
Everything was hazy from blood loss. Distantly she could hear Xander shouting, not quite comprehending what was said. She could tell that she wouldn't have much longer if she didn't get medical attention, honestly she didn't know if she was unhappy about that or not.
Languidly, her thoughts drifted to her life since she got back. All of the numbness, the pretending...she did what would make her friends happy, that was what mattered. The torrid affair with Spike. Was it so wrong to want to feel something, anything, between bouts of nothingness? Spike...why was it that he was the only one to make her feel? Why couldn't it have been her friends to comfort her, instead of him? And then... Even now, on the verge of death, she didn't want to think about what had happened; how he almost... She had never (Okay, maybe once or twice) in her life been more grateful for the super-human strength that came with the whole 'Slayer' bit. If she hadn't stopped him, she didn't want to think about what might have happened. Maybe if she hadn't used him, he wouldn't have felt the need to try and... Okay Buffy, you're dying and maybe you should focus on the brighter things. Well, there was helping Willow... and seeing Xander and Anya happy, even if that didn't last long...uhh...spending time with Dawn... The whole "Invisible Girl" incident, that was definitely fun; especially the messing with Spike...
Sparks of consciousness took over from there. A carpet, looking different from underneath than it did from above; handcuffs jingling; a building falling around two figures entwining in the night; Spike Lips! Lips of Spike!...
Her flashes of their time together were cut off as the EMTs loaded her into the ambulance.
If I get through this... Maybe I can make peace with all that's happened.
Maybe.
AN: I think my writing has improved... :D yay! Review, I beg of you, REVIEW!