"whAT hTE fucc" said Hillary Clinton. She was on a call with her head campaign manager when she passed the TV in the centre of her living room. She had to fall back unto her (expensive af bc shes rich duh) sofa in shock of hearing the news. Donald Trump was going for the Republican nomination? "LMAO, thats 2 funni 4 me," she thought. But she was not laughing. Hillary was a little pissed. U see, Donald Trump pissed her off a lot but she kinda liked the way he was a consistent asshole. You could really rely on Donald to be an asshole. He had a predictably outrageous personality. What an asshole. An asshole Hillary admired. Hillary knew she was not like Trump. She was very inconsistent. Was she even a democrat? She didn't know. Hillary looked down at her (one of a kind, silk, expensive af) navy blue paintsuit to reassure herself. Yes, she was a democrat. She was wearing blue. Democrats wore blue. Hillary was calmed by her own reassurance.

But... noot for long. Hillary remembered the Donald problem. FUck this SHit. Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders? who the fuck did these bitches think they were. Two non establishment political opponents this year. Hillary almost found herself missing her previous campaign. Although it's true she lost, Obama was a swag guy. Hot, even. That didn't matter here. She was still going to be President. (There's a million things I haven't done.) Just u wait. (What's your name man?)

four months later.

There was only one solution. Murder. Hillary was going to have to murder Donald Trump's fine ass. The joke had gone on for far too long. This is what led her to sneak into Donald's private hotel room at 3 in the morning. Only, what she found was shocking. There, in the middle of the room, DOnald Turnip was watching hentai. whAT hTe fucc. Donald was surprisngly at ease. Despite the pornographic (not even a great sort of pornographic) material displayed on his laptop screen, he made several new social media posts nonchalantly about how evil the mexians were. ANd how hot his wall will be. mmmm. that wall. Donald had many a wet dream about that wall. A story for another time. Chillary Clinton was not feeling so chill. SHe wass sligjtly naseuos. One could say she was... feeling the bern (Bernie Sanders does not approve of this message, hentai, or Hillary Clinton.) Yes, she had to get out of here.

However, her visit to Donald's hotel room was not in vain. Back at her home Hillary came up with a genius plan. Tomorrow, she would return to his hotel room and film him watching Hentai. Then, she would anonmously release it to the press. His Republican following would be fatally wounded. That same day she'll issue a statement on the appaling content of the anonmyous video. There was nothing stopping her... or was there?

yes s. Hillary Clinton may have been in love. Since when, she could not tell. His orange ass-face, lizard neck, and corn wisp hair all endeared her and made her feel something in that cold chill(ary) heart of hers. She had to make a decision... taking out trump or... persuing the love of her life.

the next day

Bernie fucking Sanders was reallly pissing Hillary off. She was on her way to confess her lvoe to Donald Trump when she passed Bernie Sanders on the street. Unfortunately, Bernie was no fool. He knew where Donald Trump lived, and he took note of how Hillary seemed to be beelining straight there. So, he trailed her. Burlap Sandman was going to expose the truth to the people. This was a political revolution funded by the people, not the billionaires. Like DOnald. He was a rich man. A meanie weenie man. Bernie was getting heated just thinking about it. When Bernstein Salmon returned to reality he realised he was at the entrance of Trump Towers. SO. he was right. his suspicions were confirmed. Hillary Clinton had a dark secret, and he knew what it was. He only needed proof...Hillary CLinton was getting under the table funds from Donald Trump. This is what it was. Bernie was sure. So when Bernie entered Trump's hotel room, what was shocked to find Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump in tears. It was a sight for the ages. The tear streaks on Donald's face painted white lines down his face where his spray tan had worn off from the excessive crying. His eyes were puffy, making him look like he was squinting at the sun. One could compare him to poorly cooked sweet potatoes that have been thrown across the room by a spoiled 6 year old child. One could also compare Hillary Clinton to that 6 year old child, for she HAd thrown Donald acorss the room. Well, not his physical form. but his feels. THats rigjt. Dickbald Tearstain had feelings at one time. But they were taken by none other than Heely Kleenex. and thrown. as i have said. redundantly. Bernie was confused. y was this sad giant orange dick crying? bernie bet it was because of wall street. Wall street made him cry sometimes.

hillary pov, three minutes earlier

"donald duck i luv u more than barack obama loves joe biden

"impossible... it cant be...they r 2 gay. ur love could not possibly be as strong as theirs." said dingle dong toot toot

"but

its true."

said hilarity clorox. she touched his face. it was orange. like a carrot. carrots were important to hillary. THey should be important to you too. Carrots are important for your health. donald cried. senpai had noticed him!11!1!1!11!111!

but what came next made him gaspp

"but we cnanot b toether 4ever"

then the door flung open... BURNING SANDMAN ENTERED THE ROOM11!1! donald and hilarity knew of his brilliance. he would surely know what to do. But... could they trust him with this dilemna?

what was going to happen for hillary and donald?... to be continued