By popular audience demand, here's The Bounty Hunter! When I first saw the trailer for this movie, I was 'OMG Duncan and Courtney, all the way!' So here you go! Sorry it took a while, but I was debating on whether I should post it or not. So, here ya go!
Disclaimer: I do not own TDI/A/WT or 'The Bounty Hunter'
Duncan walked up the streets, deciding what to do on this lazy Saturday afternoon. What could a 20 year old get up to on a Saturday afternoon... Rob the local convenience store? Been there, done that. Try to pick up one of the french chicks from the nearby language school? Nah... Last time he tried to do that, he got sprayed with pepper spray by this hot brunette, then was called "Une bête déguelasse poilue!" then she flipped the finger, before stalking off muttering something like this... "Quel un idiote! Je vais démonter son tête!!!!" Duncan had no idea what it meant, but it sounded so... Hot... In a good way, and in a bad way... It reminded him of this chick he used to date. He tried to stop his brain from remembering the girl. Too many gushy memories. He wouldn't let no gushy memories take away from his bad assness!!! Never! Suddenly, a police cruiser pulled up behind him.
Speaking of being a bad ass...
"Duncan! Duncan Krestman!" The police man yelled, from the car. Duncan had two options in this scenario; 1) To come without a fight. or 2) To run and cause a scene. Obviously, Duncan wanted to do the second option- it was way more fun -but his record doesn't need another blow. He had just finished his 100 hours of community service, and does not want to go back to having to be a senior citizen guide. Duncan turned around, to see his old parole officer, DJ Jones. They used to be buds back in the day. DJ always helped Duncan out, by letting him go with a warning, or schmoozing the judge and making his sentence remarkabley lighter.
"Afternoon officer!" Duncan replied, walking over to the drivers seat.
"Duncan... You need to get in the car." DJ said, trying to sound like an authority figure. Duncan, trying not to burst out laughing, just gave DJ an incredulous look. DJ rolled his eyes. "The boys downtown have found another offense on your part, Duncan. Drinking and driving."
"Oh come on, man! I hardly call that an offense...!" Duncan remarked, waving his hand dismissavely.
"Dude! You got drunk, and drove the MAYORS car, into a lake! Then threw up on his daughter!" DJ exclaimed, pulling out photographic evidence. Duncan examined the photos, before giving in.
"Okay, so it was a teensy-weensy offense...! So what?"
"So what, Duncan, is considering your record is... Bigger than most... You could get some serious jail time, bro."
"Oh, I can NOT go to jail! Again. My parents would flip, refuse to pay my bail, and stop paying my tuition! Isn't their something, ANYTHING, I can do?" Duncan, pratically begged. DJ thought for a moment, before looking through a manual.
"Well... If you do some bounty hunting for the force, maybe they could overlook your crime. It also says that you'd get a reward. Five grand. Basically, all you need to do is catch a thief. She's pretty neutorious... She's stolen government papers and documents, just by hacking the network using her PDA..." DJ said.
"'She'? It's in the bag. All I need to do is unleash my manly charms, and seduce the 'threat' girl, and poof! No jail for Duncan, and the money I owe Geoff. Plus, some money to help the D-man get back in the dating scene..." Duncan replied, smugly.
"It's not going to be that easy, man. She's pretty crafty... She masked herself as my co-worker, Katie, and stole some of our equipment..."
"And?"
"...She's also stolen multiple jewels, and large sums of cash singlehandedly. Are you sure you want to do this bro?"
"Positive. You're talking to an ex-con, here. Who better to catch, a criminal, than a criminal?" Duncan questioned, sounding full of himself.
"Alright then. Here, I'll pull out her record, so you can at least know what she looks like. She's pretty hot too..." DJ said, reaching over to the glove compartment.
"Aren't all criminals...?" Duncan smirked. DJ rolled his eyes, and pulled out the file.
"What's interesting, is that she has the looks of one of those preppie girls that get straight A's and junk, but she knows every single trick in the book." DJ remarked, passing Duncan the files. Duncans eyes widened. He looked over the mug shots, and nearly fainted. "Her name's--"
"Courtney Labella?!" Duncan yelled.
"Yeah. How'd you know?"
"B-b-because... She's m-my ex girlfriend. She probably w-w-wouldn't appreciate me of all people trying to send her to j-jail..." He stuttered, scratching the back of his neck.
"Bad break up?"
"The worst of the worst... Courtney had a week off from school, and decided to surprise me by paying me a visit while she was in town to see her friend. Briiiii-something..."
-Flashback-
Oh, I can't wait to see the look on his face when I stop by!
Courtney thought, getting out of her silver Lexus. She click-clacked her way up the walkway, with her her keys jingling the whole way. She had put on one of her best outfits, just for the occasion! Her favourite pink tank top, that said: 'I 3 SKOOL, WATS IT 2 U?' in white, big bold letters; her grey Hollister sweater, with black tracks on the back; her big grey sunglasses were fastened on the top of her head, in her brown, lushious hair, which she had cut a good two inches shorter since highschool; her white skinny jeans, that hugged her curves in all the right ways; and her red, two-and-a-half inch wedges. Man, she was so hot, that she made fire look cold! She had gotten a few wolf whistles, and comments from perverts on her way over to Bridgette's, but her mood was impeckable today! Sure, her boyfriend was annoying as hell sometimes, and a neanderthal... But he was HER annoying neanderthal. Hers, and only hers. Courtney stuck her key into the door, and turned it, until she heard a click, and walked in. Courtney dropped her bag, and walked further into the house. Courtney tried to stretch her brain to remember where everything was...
Right, the kitchen's to the left.
Courtney remembered, turning to the left, to get a drink of water, before suprising her boyfriend. Courtney thought she heared Duncan yell.
Ugh, he's probably in the basement playing Xbox with one of his equally annoying and perverted friends... Same old Duncan...
She thought, as she walked into the kitchen. Courtney stopped dead in her tracks when she caught a glimpse of the kitchen table.
"Why are there two wine glasses on the table...?" Courtney wondered aloud, not moving her gaze away from the half filled wine glasses on the kitchen table.
Don't be paranoid Courtney... B-Bridgette probably couldn't keep her mouth shut, and txted Duncan... You KNOW she's horrible at keeping secrets.
Courtney reassured herself, before leaving the kitchen, and not bothering to get a drink.
"Duncan?" Courtney called, walking down the hall. Courtney opened the door to the left. Bathroom. Courtney was about to leave, but something caught her eye. Courtney picked up a bottle of black nail polish, and eyeliner.
I don't wear black nail polish... I only do frenchs'... I also wouldn't be caught DEAD wearing that brand of eyeliner. It's only for people who can't afford the frou-frou stuff that me and my roommate Lindsay wear. Sure, Lindsay may be a total ditz, but we do have a few things in common: Great style, great hair, and great fashion sense. Wait, back on topic... What are these doing here?
Courtney's heart skipped a beat as she quickly threw the nail polish in the garbage, and fast walked down the rest of the hallway. She nearly slipped and fell down, not noticing Duncan's shoes. She looked down to the floor, and saw other numerous pieces of clothing. She looked at the trail of clothes leading up to a door. Duncan's skull shirt... His undershirt... His belt... His jeans...
Do not freak out. DO NOT FREAK OUT! All guys are slobs... Duncan probably just... Just... Had a shower! Yup, Duncan just had a shower, and took off all his clothes, thus explaining why they are all over the hallway in a big... Mess...
Courtney picked up a leather tube top.
"Okay, I KNOW that's not mine..." Courtney remarked, before throwing it on the ground, and rushing over to the door. She tried to open it, but it was locked. Courtney pushed harder, and managed to open the door. She tumbled to the floor, with a thud. She got up quickly, and her eyes landed on the bed, where Duncan was making out with some one that was not Courtney.
"What the hell is going on here?!" Courtney screamed. Duncan stopped, and turned his head to see a very shocked Courtney. The girl in the bed, quickly grabbed the blanket, and covered herself up a bit. Duncan fell off the bed, and landed on the floor.
"C-C-Courtney! Babe...! W-what are you doing here?" Duncan asked, stuttering.
"What is SHE doing here, is the better question!!!!!!!" Courtney fumed, pointing at the girl in the bed.
"Uh... I can explain! I got a job as a lifeguard and, I'm practising mouth to mouth resepitaion...?" Duncan tried.
"It's mouth-to-mouth 'RESUSCITATION'!!!!!!!!!!! (AN: thats how you spell it. check the dictionary. I dare you.) "
"I uh, better be going..." The girl squeaked, grabbing her shirt, and bag, and headed towards the door. Courtney blocked her way, and took a good look at her. Courtney gasped.
"Hey! What are you doing in MY lingerie!?!?! And that's MY favourite Gucci bag!!!" Courtney seethed, snatching the purse away, and dumping the contents on the floor. The girl scrambled to grab her stuff. Courtney looked down at her. She noticed a teal highlight. There was only one girl Courtney used to know, that had teal highlights...
"Gwen Malone!?!?!?! From school!?!?!?! What-Why-How- Out-out-out-out OUT!!!!!!!!!!!" Courtney yelled, as Gwen ran-- sprinted, out. Courtney turned to her soon to be ex boyfriend... "I leave for University, and you sleep with Gwen Malone!!!!!!!"
"It's not what it looks like...!" Duncan protested, trying to calm Courtney down. He rushed over to her, and put an arm around her.
"Oh, so you weren't sucking face with Gwen, and giving her my stuff...?!"
"Okay, so it is what it looks like..." Duncan started. He smiled uneasily. "I always knew you were as smart as a whip. You see, now that's why you're the one who's away at school..."
"Take your arm off of me, before I break it off, and use it as a golf club, to 6-iron, your head!" Courtney sneered. Knowing that she would, Duncan removed his arm.
"Okay, I know this looks bad... It kind of is... But, remember what your meditaion teacher said? Getting angry is a no-no... So... Why, are you here?"
"I was here, because I thought that you missed me as much as I missed you. But obviously, I was wrong!" Courtney exclaimed, tearing up. Duncan wrapped his arms around Courtney. Normally Courtney would've melted in his warm embrace, but she was far too angry, and the effect was gone. Courtney tried to break free, but Duncan had her trapped.
"Let GO of me you no good-selfish-lying-unfaithful-cheating-moronic-cre--!" Courtney yelled. Before she could finish, Duncan had crashed his lips onto hers. Courtney pulled away, cross.
"Babe, seriously... Jealous is SO not your colour. What happened to the Courtney I know, and am sometimes annoyed by...?" Duncan questioned, trying to get Courtney's forgiveness.
"She's gone," Courtney spat, icily. "Just like what we had together."
She turned on her heels hastily, and headed towards the door.
"Courtney! Sweetheart," Duncan called after her scrambling into a pair of pants, and running after Courtney. Courtney stopped in front of the kitchen, and looked at Duncan's pleading eyes, with a 'This-better-be-good-or-else-I'll-tear-you-limb-from-limb-you-pig' look. Duncan knew this look well. "Please, give me another chance! This meant nothing, I was thinking about you the whole time!"
Little did they know, that Gwen was in the kitchen, trying to put her belongings in a bag, and get the heck out of here before she got hit by Courtney. But, she heard what Duncan said loud and clear, and was very offended.
"What?!" Gwen exclaimed, walking over to the quarreling couple. "You said that you needed some attractive girl to help you forget her, that you needed some fun because she wasn't giving it to you!"
"Pfft... Tfft... Hfft... I-I never said you were attractive..." Duncan said, trying to convince Courtney. Gwen, narrowed her eyes, and pulled out her Blackberry. She held it up, and pressed a button. A recording of Duncan's voice played.
"Gwen is attractive."
Courtney glared at Duncan. Duncan's eyes widened. He looked at Gwen.
"Where did you get--?!" Duncan asked.
"Gwen is attractive."
"Stop playing that!" Duncan said, through clenched teeth.
"Gwen is attractive."
"Gwen, I'm warning you!"
"Gwen is attractive. Gwen is attractive. Gwen is attractive--"
Duncan looked over to Courtney. Her expression was unreadable. Courtney snatched the Blackberry and threw it on the ground with a force so strong that it cracked the screen. She stomped on it.
"You have until the count of three, before I beat you down with a tennis racket!!!! One... Two..." Courtney threatened. Gwen's expression became scared.
"But my phone--!" Gwen wailed.
"Three!!!!" Courtney exclaimed, lunging at Gwen. Gwen ran out of the house- still in Courtney's underwear -before Courtney could rip off her hair. Duncan grabbed Courtney's wrist.
"I never want to see you again! Let me go!" Courtney cried, trying to hit Duncan. Duncan let go of her wrist. Courtney stalked down the hall towards the door.
"Princess, I'm begging you... Don't go. I love you!" Duncan pleaded. Courtney grabbed a vase on the table, and threw it at Duncan's head. Duncan dodged it, and and cringed as Courtney slammed the door, knocking the picture of Duncan and Courtney onto the ground. Duncan rushed over to the window. He watched as Courtney muttered to herself as she walked down the walkway. She put on her sunglasses, and got into her car. Duncan squinted as he saw Courtney throw out a pair of mans underwear, and a bunch of papers. She pulled out a lighter.
"Are those my boxers...? And my lighter?" Duncan wondered. Courtney set Duncan's boxers on fire, threw them onto the sidewalk, and drove off. Duncan walked over to the papers. They were old e-mails that he and Courtney exchanged during the first month she was away at University... Duncan sighed.
"Well... That certainly could have played out better..." Duncan remarked, picking up his burnt boxers.
-End of Flashback-
"Ooh... This Courtney chick seems feisty..." DJ said.
"That's the understatement of the year. Ugh, this is her fault! Because of her, I got dumped, then dumped AGAIN, and fell into a depression which lead to my second time in jail." Duncan replied, coldly.
"I hardly see you getting dumped, her fault. You were the one who was caught cheating. Wait, we were talking about-- nevermind. Okay, the boys are pretty sure that she still goes to school in Québec. All you need to do, is catch her, and bring her back to the station here. Good luck, you'll need it..."
"Okay, okay... I can do this! This is the motivation I need! Yeah... Courtney can't haunt my memories forever! And if she's in jail, I won't have to worry about her anymore... I don't care about her anymore! Yeah, I can totally do this! Let the Ex Games, begin." Duncan exclaimed, walking in the direction of his house. DJ stared after him.
"Hmm. Dude still loves her..." DJ said, getting back into the police cruiser.
Love it? Review then! Hate it? Review then, and tell me what I fucked up! Tata, lovlies!
~Alexex