I don't own Supernatural or its characters. If I did, there would be a lot more than hugging going on ;) All rights go to Eric Kripke.

This is my first wincest so go easy on me. :)

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The day after Sam left him for Stanford, Dean felt a wall break down. For the past eighteen years, Dean had seen Sam every day. He had taken care of his little brother, raised him. But now he was gone. The ache in Dean's chest at seeing his brother walk out on him turned into a monster in his chest, clawing at him when he realized that his brother wasn't coming back.

Dean couldn't really put a label on the feelings that were twisting through his chest, but he was pretty sure that they weren't supposed to be for his brother. To make matters worse, alcohol surprisingly didn't help. So Dean couldn't drown his feelings for his little brother in whiskey. What did help was sex. Lots and lots of sex. So Dean fucked every brown haired, brown eyed girl he could find. He would often close his eyes and imagine that he was pounding into his brother.

When he finally had a legitimate excuse to fetch Sam from Stanford, his little brother was all he could think about. It felt kind of selfish though, to use their Dad's disappearance to grab Sam from his school. Halfway through the drive, a though hit Dean. A thought that almost made him turn his baby around and drive off to find John by himself. Just because Dean felt this way about Sam didn't mean that Sam would feel the same towards Dean.

Sam watched as Dean exited the bar with yet another girl. Another brunette, he noticed. Recently, it wasn't hard to pick up on Dean's pattern. 8 out of 10 girls that he went home with were brunettes with brown eyes. Sam told himself that he didn't care who his brother fucked. It was just a one night stand. A girl he would never see again. But lately, it started to become sort of a mantra, as Sam would repeat it to himself every night when Dean picked up a girl, shaking off the twinge in his chest.

Back at the hotel room, Sam was on his laptop, clicking through sites, continuing his endless research project. The door opened, and Sam's hand went for the gun he kept on the table, next to his computer. He relaxed when he say that it was Dean.

"Back so soon?" He asked, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. If Sam looked at Dean, his sick, twisted mind would begin to wonder what Dean had done with the girl, and how it would feel if Sam was in her position. To feel Dean's hard cock pounding into him, hearing his brother's moans of ecstasy...

"She just didn't do it for me." Dean shook his head and threw himself down on his bed. "You still doing your little geeky project?"

"It's research, Dean." Sam sighed. "It'll save your ass one day."

"Dude, I save your ass every day." Dean scoffed. He pulled a bottle of beer from the mini fridge and tossed one to Sam.

Sam looked up at his brother for the first time that night since he had walked out with that brunette. Dean's lips were wrapped around the mouth of the bottle. This wasn't the first time Sam had wondered how it would feel, having Dean's beautiful lips wrapped around his cock, all warm and wet. Sam shifted in his seat and subtly moved his arm to cover his crotch so Dean wouldn't see the obvious bulge in his jeans.

"So, any leads on a job?" Dean asked, lounging in his bed. He had the remote in his hand, ready to turn on the TV.

"Uhm, yeah, actually." Sam clicked on a link. "In Chancellor, South Dakota, a women shoves her husband into the oven and bakes him 'til he's golden brown. She claims to have blacked out, and doesn't remember what she was doing."

"Sounds like a demon." Dean chuckled. "Getting crazier and crazier everyday." He pressed a few buttons and then Casa Erotica was playing.

Sam tried his best to tune out the moans and grunts coming from the TV, but all he could think about was what watching this was doing to Dean. Finally, he couldn't take it. He locked himself in the bathroom, closed his eyes and dragged his palm over his rock hard cock, swallowing his moans. Sam bit his lip as pleasure radiated through his body. In his mind's eye, his hand was Dean's. He could almost feel the hard lines of his brother's body and that when he came, it was into Dean's mouth. Sam knew it was so many levels of wrong to be fantasizing about his brother, especially when Dean was in the next room, but somehow that made it feel so much better.

The job turned out to be a simple exorcism. The demon in question wasn't what they'd call powerful. All it took was some salt and a few flasks of holy water. They ended that job with a few bruises and Dean had gotten a scratch along his jaw. It made Sam uncomfortable, knowing that his brother could be killed anytime on the job. It was a terrible, very real prospect. Even though Sam tried his best not to think about it, it always came up when they were on a job and Dean got hurt. He knew his brother was tough, but that fact did very little to reassure him.

They drove off around dawn, heading to the nearest motel, which was a thirty minute drive. Dean drove east, heading towards the rising sun. The early beams of sunlight streamed through the windshield of the Impala. Sam squinted and looked off to the side, shielding his eyes from the sun. The sunlight didn't seem to bother Dean though. He stared ahead at the road.

Sam's breath caught in his throat as he took in the sight of his brother. The sunlight made the hints green and gold in Dean's hazel eyes shine, and his fringe of usually brown eyelashes were illuminated by the sun, turning them completely gold. Right now, with his face in the sunlight, Dean looked gorgeous, like a god. The red scratch on his jawline reminded Sam that his brother was human, and made the notion of loving him just a little bit less twisted and absurd.

Dean noticed Sam's stared and frowned a little. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"Huh? Oh, no." Sam quickly turned and stared out the window, leaving his brother with a confused look on his face. His heart swelled with an undefinable emotion. That was close. Sam couldn't bear to think of Dean's reaction if he really knew what Sam thought about him. It was painful enough to share a motel room with his brother, to watch him come out of the shower, dripping wet with nothing on but a threadbare towel. Sam wouldn't be able to deal with the look of disgust and rejection on Dean's face if he ever found out. He just couldn't.

That morning, when Sam finally fell into bed, his dreams were full of Dean. Dean's beautiful, plump lips, Dean's sculpted chest and abs, Dean's hair, Dean's eyes, Dean's smile, Dean's voice. This dream, just like every other wet dream that Sam had about his brother, started out with him kissing Dean, then sliding his hand down to Dean's rock hard dick. One thing led to another, and soon, they were overcome with lust. Soon, Dean's cock ended up in Sam's mouth, and he was sucking and licking like his life depended on it. Every husky moan that came out of his brother's mouth continued to make Sam impossible hard.

But unlike his other dream's, this time, Dean didn't return the favor. He just got up and glared at Sam with a mixture of hatred and disgust on his face.

"You sick bastard," He sneered. "Who the fuck dreams of giving their own brother head? Even if I ever let you do this to me, that would be it. I'll never, ever, ever, return your feelings. I'd prefer not to go to Hell again. I went the first time for you, and this is how you thank me? By scarring me so badly that when I die, it'd be a fucking miracle if I was admitted to Heaven? You're a fucking twisted-"

Then Dean was shaking him awake.

It was around seven at night when Dean woke up. It was actually Sam who woke him up. He was making these moaning/whimpering sounds. Dean stared at his brother, who was naked from the waist up. His entire body was covered with large, rippling muscles, and the slight shifting movements just accentuated them. Dean could feel all his blood moving south. He didn't even notice his hand moving down to his boxers until his palm rubbed over his cock, making him moan. But then he stopped. This was sick, that he had started to get off to his brother's wet dreams. Sammy didn't deserve this. That's why Sam could never know. It would ruin their relationship, then Dean would have no one left.

The moaning turned into thrashing, and jolted Dean out of his thoughts. Sam definetly wasn't having a happy dream anymore. His forehead was furrowed into a frown, and the sounds coming out of his mouth were in no way pleasurable; he sounded more like he was being torture.

In a flash, Dean was standing over his brother, shaking him awake.

"Sam?" Dean was leaning over his brother, a look of concern in his eyes. "You were making some serious happy noises, but then you started thrashing. What the hell, man?"

That last bit sounded way too much like Dream-Dean. Sam's heart contracted. "I'm fine Dean. It won't happen again."

TBC

Wow, that was kinda intense...Even as the author, I hate building suspense, but it's necessary. Thanks for reading!

If you want more "stuff" happening between Sam and Dean in the next chapter, please review!