AN: Hello! Just a little something I wrote. YAOI so be warned. Enjoy.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own FF7
The night air was soothing on his skin. He couldn't see as many starts as he could back home, the smog from the reactors blocking his view, but he sat there content anyway. He laid on top of the Shin-Ra building, the symbols marking the heliport just below his back. His chest guard and Shin-Ra issued sweater-vest sat a few feet from him, just within the heliport's circle. The same can't be said about his companion's blazer and dress-shirt, though. That was somewhere between the actual helicopter and the asphalt. He would have to buy the man another set anyway. Curse his SOLDIER strength, he really didn't mean to rip it like that. He was just a little impatient and the buttons were frustrating. He promised the other that he would be gentle next time.
Speaking of the other, the halo of raven hair was starting to move and tease his chest. After some shuffling, the coal eyes finally looked up at him. He smiled in return, happy to see that the other was awake. Maybe they could watch the stars together. However, the smaller raven had other plans. He moved to sit up but the other quickly pulled him back down. The SOLDIER didn't want this little moment to end. Sensing that, the other finally relented, resting again.
With his lover back in his arms, the SOLDIER faced the sky again. "You weren't about to leave me so soon, were you Tseng?"
The SOLDIER could feel the other's smirk on his chest. "Not if you don't want me to Zack," the other returned, "Though, I did think that it was customary, considering the situation."
"The situation," Zack questioned, "What 'situation'?"
"Don't tell me you forgot so soon."
"No," the other smiled. He liked it when Tseng was feeling playful, "How could I forget? It was the first time I've ever done it tripping out of a helicopter. Though, I wouldn't call what we did a 'situation'."
"...Oh," the Turk returned hesitantly.
"Yeah," Zack shook his head above the man. He liked Tseng, but he can be insecure. He liked that hesitation, though. It meant that he was human, but he hated that Tseng thought so little of himself. When it came to the battlefield, Tseng was confident, assured and assertive. When it came to Zack, it seemed like he didn't know up from down and was constantly afraid that he would do something wrong. Getting Tseng to trust him was like pulling teeth for Zack. "You didn't think that this was a one-night-stand or something did you?"
The SOLDIER felt his Turk pause. So, that was what he thought. "You don't have to pacify me, Zack," the Turk said rising to leave again.
"'Pacify you'," Zack angrily questioning as he pulled the other to his chest again, "What the hell do you mean by that." Zack was an easy going guy, but he wasn't patient. He was quickly losing what little he had.
"You sleep with a lot of people, Zack," the Turk continued, "You don't need to 'sweet-talk' me. I understand the arrangement."
"What," Zack said, appalled by the statement, making him let go of the other. He stood as the Turk stood, becoming more and more frustrated as the other began to fix his hair and search for his clothes. He finally grabbed the other by the shoulder, forcing him to stop, "I don't think you understand."
"Zack-"
"No," he interrupted, "Listen to me for a change! I like you, a lot."
"As you like Aerith and Cissnei," Tseng said a little too casually, "Like I said before, I understand."
Zack paused for a moment, mouth slightly agape. Ok, so he fooled around, a lot, but that didn't change how he felt. Cissnei, the female Turk, had been interesting, and then there's Aerith. Sweet and innocent Aerith – how many times do you fall through the ground and land in front of a sweet and very beautiful woman? How could he possibly pass that up?
Tseng though, had been different. He was fascinated by the other. How could someone be so tragically beautiful? He never smiled or laughed. He wasn't the bubbly personality that he usually found himself attracted to but he still couldn't help the attraction. He didn't understand. So he spent nights fighting with himself trying to. He thought that it was because they went on missions together. Tseng understood his SOLDIER part of life and wasn't deterred by it, like Aerith once was. However, when Aerith began to accept it, he thought that he would forget about Tseng, but that didn't happen. So what was it? Then he thought that it was because they shared similar circumstances, both of their mentors betraying them. For a while he was satisfied with this conclusion. He talked to Tseng about his feelings of abandonment and the other answered him kindly, even disclosing come of his own feelings and fears. Even though he relished in those talked, he knew that wasn't what drew him to the other.
So in the search for the answer, he started to spend more time with the mysterious Director of the Turks. It was during the many dinners and bar outings that Zack finally figured it out. Around him Tseng just wasn't as mysterious anymore. His beauty was no longer tragic, but laced with gentle smiles and wicked smirks, sometimes even a heart filled laugh. The best part was that he was only this way around him when they were alone. No more Turk facades, just Tseng, and this made him feel special.
Aerith and Cissnei, they both were fun to chase. They seemed so unattainable and it fed his ego to know that he could have them. The more they ran from him, the more interesting they became. He knew that he may never know all of Aerith's little secrets or Cissnei's real name and he was ok with that. He liked the idea of loving the mysterious girl that can make flowers grow without sunlight or the woman that can stand on her own and don't need his protection. With Tseng though, the more he found out the more interested he became. What fueled his drive was not the idea of Tseng, but finding out what was behind the walls. The more he grasped of Tseng the more he wanted. Aerith and Cissnei, he could chase them forever, but with Tseng he had to catch him. Zack usually loved the thrill of the chase, but not with Tseng. Chasing him was just frustrating and he wished that they could just be together already. He didn't want the buildup but the happily-ever-after.
He liked the others but he wanted to be with Tseng. He wanted the man's smiles and laughter. He wanted to comfort the man's sorrow and reassure him in his rarely seen insecurities. He wasn't satisfied only knowing parts of Tseng. He wasn't satisfied just running after this powerful man's coattails. He wanted everything from this man. Zack wanted to hold him and love him.
Zack noticed the man's eyes on him, patiently waiting for his response, if any. Zack moved his hand from the Turk's shoulder to grab his arm, pulling Tseng to him but not enough to hold him. He didn't want to trap him but wanted to have the other's full attention. He saw that Tseng noted the given option of escape but didn't take it, choosing instead to stay.
"You're right," Zack finally said, "I do like them."
"And that's fine," Tseng said smoothly cutting him off, "You should let go now, I have to return to work." He said the words, but didn't move as he waited for Zack to decide to let him go.
"No," Zack sighed, "I don't want to let you go." Zack saw Tseng slightly raise an eyebrow, as the other clearly caught the hidden meaning behind his words. "I want you to stay and I want you stop running from me. Why are you so afraid of me?"
"Afraid," the Turk questioned, sounding a bit indignant. Tseng's pride, it was one of the things that Zack knew about that no one else did. One of the things that made him feel special when Tseng let it slip out in front of him.
Shaking the thought, Zack answered him, "Yes afraid. I'm tired of fighting with you. I'm tired of you pulling away from me and denouncing my love for you."
"'Your love for me'," Tseng asked in disbelief, "You can't possible believe that you love me. You're just a kid. You want to have fun, I understand that. Don't confuse yourself by trying to justify our acts by something as foolish as love."
"How can you say that," Zack asked trying to contain his anger, "How dare you tell me how I feel. I'm not just some child, ok and my feelings aren't foolish! I've been through hell and I've grown up because of it. I've learned that life doesn't last forever and whatever time I do have left, I want to spend it with you!"
"If that's what you think you want, I suggest you give up," the Turk coldly said, finally pulling from Zack's grasp.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't want to love anyone," Tseng returned with his back turned.
Zack knew that he would only turn his back to someone if it was vital, if he couldn't stop his emotions from forming on his face. He did that a lot around Zack, but only when he was laughing too hard to control himself or when they first started having sex and he didn't want the other to see him in his time of release. He never did it because he couldn't contain his pain. Even when he spoke of his mentor he could always show his face.
Zack touched the other's shoulder again, gently turning Tseng to face him. His eyes were down, but he still stood straight, determined not to take back his answer. Taking a finger, he turned Tseng's face to his – and he saw it. He saw the uncertainty and the complete and utter fear that shown in his eyes. Tseng really was afraid of him and his love. Tseng wanted to love him, Zack didn't question that. The nights they shared just laughing at a crowded bar or sitting at home sipping wine and watching classic movies, clearly showed that the man wanted the SOLDIER around. Though, that painstaking fear was holding him back. Zack was going to fix that.
"I think you're lying," Zack said softly as he finally understood what his Turk was trying to say. "You already love me. Since you can't stop yourself from loving me, you make up excuses, trying to convince yourself that I don't love you. I not letting that happen anymore. I don't want you to question it anymore. I love you."
Tseng looked up at him again, surprised, before forcing it away and becoming a Turk again, "You don't know what you're talking about, Zack."
"I know damn well what I'm talking about," Zack said smiling again after it being gone for so long, "I've never wanted someone as badly as I want you. Aerith and Cissnei, if they left tomorrow I would be sad, of course, but I would continue on and find someone to take their places. They would probably do the same if it was me that left. Not with you, though. You're irreplaceable to me. I might find another, but never replace you. Please, believe me. I'll love you like you deserve to be loved."
"Zachary Fair," Tseng said breathlessly, "You are a fool. Of all people, you choose me. I will never understand that, but I will always be grateful."
"I'll make you understand," Zack said serious again, "I will spend the rest of my life showing you your immeasurable worth until you get it."
"Then you have an impossible task in front of you, if you are trying to show me what isn't there."
"Well, I'm kind of known for taking on impossible tasks. I'll just add this to the list of accomplished."
Tseng laughed then, a hearty laugh, the ones that were reserved only for Zack. "We shall see."
Zack smiled. Even though Tseng was still disbelieving of his place, at least he'd given Zack the chance to prove it to him. Kneeling on the ground, Zack tugged on the other's wrist, "C'mere."
"You're not about to propose to me are you," Tseng asked a little put-off.
"What, no," Zack answered as he blushed like at schoolgirl, "Not yet anyway."
Tseng laughed at the other, "Then what are you doing?"
"I want you to lay with me."
"On the heliport," Tseng asked dryly.
"Yes, the heliport," Zack returned just as dryly, "You weren't complaining when I was pounding you into it."
Tseng blushed lightly but sat next to the other as the SOLDIER got comfortable, "Fine."
The SOLDIER laid comfortably, his Turk in his arms. Finally the chase was over, and he was surprisingly content. He will take care of the other and hopefully be rewarded with more of the Turk's special treatment, attention and love. Tseng wasn't quick to give and Zack understood that. The raven stayed huddled in his little ball. The times that the Turk did let his true side show, he quickly corrected himself, withdrawing once again into his shell of protection, but not for him. This was how it should be.
"Zachary," the SOLDIER felt his Turk say into his chest, "'Immeasurable', really?"
"What," Zack smiled broadly. His little one was teasing him again.
"Wasn't that the word on my calendar for today?"
"What," Zack laughed, "I'm expanded my vocabulary. I needed to do something to impress you."
Tseng laughed hard into the other's tan skin, hiding his chuckles. "I appreciate the effort, thank you."
"When are you going to get it," Zack said forcing the other to look up at him, "I'd do anything to get you and I'll do everything to keep you."
AN: Hope you liked it. R&R if you do.