DISCLAIMER: Victorious and its characters do not belong to me.
Note: I edited this chapter 'cause I forgot to fix the format and then I forgot to re post it. Until now. I'm very slow sometimes.
Tough Love
Her eyes look like glass from all the tears welled up in them. Cat always tries to act tough when she's around Jade, especially when they're alone together. So she'll hold in the river threatening to flow, ignore the burning sting behind her eyes and the heavy thumping against her temples. She won't cry.
She turns her head so she's staring at Jade now, who has apologized to her eight times; she always counts Jade's apologies. They always come out so softly, like a secret the wind whispers in your ear. She thinks it would tickle too much if the wind spoke to her. When Jade speaks it hurts, most of the time.
Jade has this angry look on her face, like she wants to cut up another garbage can. Her eyes keep staring at a wall she can't see is there. Her mind keeps replaying the moment she touched Elvis' signed guitar. The moment that lead up to her making Cat cry, again. Again, it always happens. Again and again. She's no good, she concludes, Beck never cried. He was too calm to get his feelings hurt or something. That's why being with him was so much easier, she didn't hate herself as much.
Cat sniffles and Jade's head whips to the direction of the sound. She wipes her nose on the sleeve of the brown sweater she put on when they came into her room. Her mom's boss' house long since abandoned.
Jade's throat burns too much to try and say she's sorry again.
It doesn't matter, the dam breaks like it always does and Cat drops her head on Jade's lap in a sobbing forgiveness.
It's second nature to Jade and she immediately starts to stroke Cat's red hair trying to calm her with shushing noises. No matter how many times she's comforted Cat after something she did, Jade still can't get the hang of this "being there".
It only takes a minute for Cat to calm down but she tightens her hold on Jade's thigh. She sits up next to Jade and before she can begin to say she's forgiven her, Jade's lips are on hers. Rough and salty because sometimes a tears slips out of Jade too. Cat can taste the "I'm sorry" all over Jade's tongue, she can feel it on Jade's finger tips as they linger on her cheeks and she more than believes it when the words come out of Jade's mouth for the ninth time.
Cat's smile is sad though, because she knows Jade doesn't know the real reason she's upset. But she's already forgiven Jade for trying anyway.
Cat's smiling again and Jade doesn't feel as bad anymore so she kisses Cat again and again. The only time again is ever good. Jade needs to feel more of Cat and before too long Cat's arching off her bed as waves of pleasure run through every inch of her body. She can feel Jade's love every time they do this because it's the only time Jade has those types of feelings. When her mind stops thinking and she just is. Cat wishes they can do this forever, so nights like this, when Jade covers herself from falling debris and Cat's stuck under a doorway with Beck, she won't feel so unloved again.
Because it only matters when Jade is loving her.
When Cat wakes up the next day she feels Jade's arm around her holding them impossibly close. Maybe Jade loves her when she's sleeping too. Cat decides not wake her up.
Jade wakes up half an hour later to Cat's giggling. She concludes Cat must be watching SpongeBob.
There is still a heaviness in her chest she can't get rid of and she thinks she needs to hear Cat forgive her.
Cat's expression is one of amusement at the yellow sponge's antics and Jade can't stop a smile from forming. Her hand moves Cat's head so they're looking at each other and Jade takes in a big breath before she speaks.
"Look Cat, I'm really sorry about yesterday." Jade says for the tenth time, because she keeps count of how many time she says she's sorry to Cat Valentine.
"It's okay Jadey." She leans forward and kisses Jade. "It all works out in the end, right?" Cat asks with that lilt in her voice that indicates her wish for a hopeful response.
Jade nods and lets out a weak yeah. Because deep down in that icy cavernous heart, she hopes to one day admit her love for Cat and to be able to show it.
Jade doesn't want to act so tough around Cat.
Another Note: It's short I know, but my fountain of inspiration is more like a leak in the sink you can afford to ignore. Teeny tiny.