A big Thankyou to Baron Munchausen for looking this over for me.
A little one shot I came up with after watching Hysteria.
The little brown box
As Edith walked into the library she saw an alarmed look on her husband's face, and him trying to hide a little brown box in his sling.
Edith walked up to him, kissed him on the cheek and asked him "what have you got there my love?"
"Oh it's nothing, just a prototype from one of the factories."
Edith knew because Anthony was the third son of the third son he had always assumed he would have to make his own way in the world and even when he inherited the estate things were not easy for him because due to the way the estate had been managed by his grandfather and uncles he still had to come up with ways to keep the money coming in.
His aunts all assumed that when he became Sir Anthony Strallan, he would give up on the idea of marrying Maud, the daughter of a poor diplomat, and find an heiress to marry. The thought had never even crossed Anthony's mind and it was one of the many reasons Edith found herself falling more and more in love with him everyday.
"What is the prototype for my love?" Edith asked.
Anthony swallowed a lump in his throat and he could feel the heat rising in his face as he tried to come up with either a way of getting out of answering the question or trying to find a way of lying to his wife and getting away with it.
For a moment he cursed Lord Edmund St. John-Smythe for asking him if he wanted to invest in what was at the time a new invention.
"It's a medical device" he said all the time praying that would be the end of it.
Edith was confused. She could not understand why a medical device would cause Anthony to look so worried. Suddenly a terrible thought crossed her mind. "You're not ill are you?"
Seeing the alarmed look cross Edith's face he moved across the room to reassure her. Placing his arm around her and silently cursing his inability to put both arms around her he spoke.
"No, my sweet one, it's not a device for men, it's for women." Seeing he was not going to get away without explaining what was in the box he directed Edith towards the sofa and placed the box on the table.
"The device is used...well, was originally used to treat female hysteria" he stammered "and, well, when I was a younger man my friend Lord St. John-Smythe had a doctor friend who made his living treating female hysteria by massaging the genital area. Unfortunately this led to him having problems with his hands, so he and Lord St. John-Smythe came up with an invention called the electric massager and they asked me if I would like to invest, and, well, it turned out to be a rather profitable investment."
Edith smiled. She would have loved to have seen Anthony in his younger days going around town looking for new ways to make money.
"Anthony, do they normally send you a prototype?"
"Well, no, you see...I thought...that is if you did not mind the idea that, well, that we could, well, I mean you could test it out because I'm not really as young as I once was and I would hate for you to become frustrated by my age" he managed to stutter out.
Seeing the look of shock on Edith's face and feeling the silence fill the room Anthony felt he was going to be overcome by hysteria himself.
Before Edith could stop him he picked up the box and rushed out of the room.
The sudden movement by her husband snapped Edith out of her not-so-lady-like thoughts and she ran into the hallway hoping to catch her husband but all she got was a glance of her husband's long legs running up the stairs.
She quickly rushed up the stairs and followed her husband into his room, failing to notice Mr Davis the butler and Mrs Davis the housekeeper rushing the maids on with their work on the landing, so that the couple could be left in peace.
When Mrs Davis thought she and her husband were out of earshot of the maids Mrs Davis turned to her husband and said "I'm pleased that they are so happy but it is difficult at times to make sure the bedrooms and library are kept tidy".
"Indeed" replied Mr Davis "The estate manager Mr Hoskins has also commented that at times he has trouble getting into the sheds to check the farming equipment."
"Well I think it's romantic" a small voice replied behind them. "Lily, if you've finished on the landing please tidy the library and keep your thoughts to yourself" Mrs Davis replied but really without any bite to her words.
In Anthony's room Edith had managed to convince her husband that she did not think him some sexual deviant. In fact she was rather flattered that he had taken the time to worry about her enjoyment and come up with a solution to a problem that as far as she was concerned did not exist.
She knew a lot of men expected their wives just to lie there and think of England.
She gave her husband a long kiss then walked over to his dresser and opened the box and picked up the massager. She then walked over to her husband and grabbed his hand and started pulling him to her room.
Seeing the confused look on his face she gave him a dirty smile and said "I believe as your wife one of my duties should be to help you decide if you are making good investments, so I feel it would only be right for us to test this device to make sure it's up to your high standards".
Anthony gave her one of his smiles and replied "Well my Lady as one of the directors of the company it would only be right that I make sure you test it properly".
Four hours later...
"Nice of you to finally join us! I was beginning to think you no longer wanted anything to do with us" quipped Violet.
"Sorry I'm late Granny. I had to help Anthony go over one of his investments."
"Really, Edith, does he not have a man to help him with that sort of thing? Well I do hope it turns into a successful investment then maybe Anthony could let Mr Hoskin hire some more men, so you two would not have to spend so much time in the sheds going over the farming equipment. It's really not the done thing Edith to be spending so much time going over such things."
"Oh Granny, I do think it's going to be a very successful investment" Edith replied with a look of pure bliss on her face.
Here is a link to info about the film hysteria wiki/Hysteria_(2011_film)
And some info on female hysteria wiki/Female_hysteria