AN: takes place right after one of my favorite episodes, Behind the Blue Line at the end of season 2. Thank you to Ferret Assasin Nin for the request for this one! :) This will be a short story, probably 8-10 chapters. Maybe. Lol. May change! As always, read and review and I do not own Flashpoint.
Sam took a sip of his beer and smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He wanted to just go home, but the team insisted they go to The Goose. Actually, he wanted to go see Ben. He knew Ben would understand how he felt about the call today at the Godwin Arena. He wasn't sure why he said Ben when he was talking to the subject. He always called his friend by his middle name, Matt, but today he switched and used his first name. He was only half listening to the conversations going on around him. He looked at the table, at the water sitting in front of the Sarge.
He looked down at the bandage on his arm and remembered the intense heat and pain in his arm as he rushed down the hidden hallway after Leah to the command post to get some relief. He had watched impatiently as Wordy filled a basin with water, willing it to fill faster before the phosphorous burned through his skin. It still stung like a bad sunburn. That scene from today's call sent his mind back to the desert, back with his unit.
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One of the guys, Keith Paxman, thought it'd be funny to blow his beer into the fire. Sam and Matt sat side by side in the sand, watching the rookie as he caused the fire to blaze up.
"You're asking for trouble Pax." Sam shook his head.
"Oh come on Shadow, I'm just having some fun." Keith blew some beer Sam's way but it just barely reached the arm of his jacket.
Sam pulled his arm away, but it still got wet. He frowned up at Pax who had taken another swig of his beer. "That's the only one you get. You're wasting good beer." Sam wiped his arm with his hand.
Matt put a hand on Sam's dry arm. "Let him go. If he gets burned it's the idiot's own fault." He gave Sam a smile. He could see Sam was getting irritated at Pax so he changed the subject. "So teach me some more German. I want to be a Casanova to those chicks."
Pax shook his head and took a big swig of his beer. He changed position so he was across the fire from Sam and Matt. He spit the beer with more force which made the fireball extend farther than before.
Sam put his arm up at the last second to shield himself as the fireball flew at them. The beer on his arm ignited and quickly burned through his thin jacket.
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He jumped back, nearly fell out of his stool and stumbled backwards. Sam caught himself before he fell over, but he looked up at the team confused.
"Sam?" Wordy had stood as soon as Sam started going backwards and had a hold of his uninjured arm.
Greg was surprised when Sam jumped out of his seat and he stood too, moving towards Sam when he saw Sam's confusion. "You ok?"
"Uh, yeah. Sorry. I hit my arm on the table or something." Sam looked up and saw six worried faces. "I'm good." He walked the few steps to the table and sat back down.
Ed narrowed his eyes at Sam. That was odd, he thought, but it's been a hard day for Sam. He was glad they'd talked Sam out of quitting. He was a real asset to the team. He understood how Sam felt, they all did. It was tough to lose a subject, especially one you related to like Sam did to Colvack.
Wordy looked at Greg and Jules as he let go of Sam's arm. He could see they didn't believe Sam either. It hurt to lose a subject. They all knew it would be hard to accept that Darren Colvack wanted to die, and wanted them to do it. He put a hand on Sam's shoulder. "You sure?"
Sam looked at Wordy and raised his eyebrows. "Yeah." He looked around the table. "Look, I appreciate this guys, but I'm just gonna go home and go to bed."
"Ok, well why don't I give you a ride?" Wordy smiled.
"Yeah, sure." Sam shrugged and threw back the rest of his beer. Wordy had already given him a ride to The Goose and had offered on the way over to get him home too. He stood and threw a five on the table.
"I got it." Ed said smiling. He picked up the five between two fingers and held it up to Sam.
Sam shrugged and took the five. "See you in the morning." He said to the team before they turned and left.
Wordy said his goodbyes and followed Sam to the van. On the way to Sam's the silence was deafening. He looked at Sam who was looking out the car window, lost in thought. "I know you're tired of being asked,"
Sam looked at him. "I'm fine." He sighed and looked back out the window.
Wordy set his lips on a thin line. He didn't want to push, it would only make Sam shut down. "Three years ago, we get a domestic call, except it wasn't just a domestic. The husband took the wife, newborn and two young kids to the third floor roof and was threatening to throw them off. I took negotiation after Sarge couldn't get through to the subject.
No offense to the Sarge, but he hasn't had to deal with the stress of raising kids, doing the job, dealing with a house, and trying to find a balance. It's a lot of stress. So I talked to the husband because I could relate." He looked out the side window seeing the situation play out in his head.
Sam looked at him and could see the hurt in his face and eyes. "He threw them." It was a statement more than a question.
"Yeah. He pushed them, then jumped. There wasn't anything I could do. Everyone said I did everything I could but it didn't feel that way. The mother landed on her back to try to save the baby." Wordy stopped at a red light and looked out the windshield, remembering the bodies on the grass.
"Did any of them make it?" Sam knew that at that height it was possible to survive, although the injuries would be very painful.
Wordy nodded. "The baby and the three year old. Both parents and the two year old died."
"I'm sorry." Sam said sincerely.
Wordy looked at him. "If it wasn't for Shel and the team, I don't know what I would've done. Lily wasn't born yet." He took a breath and concentrated on the road as the light turned green. Allie and Hollie were the same age-" He closed his mouth. "I'm just saying, I know. And if you need to talk, I'm here."
Sam gave Wordy a small smile. "Thanks." He couldn't imagine what it must've been like for Wordy. For his children to be the same age as the two that died, it definitely would've hit home hard. "What happened to the kids?"
Wordy smiled. "Luckily they got adopted together. The girl is in Allie's class and the baby boy is in Lily's playgroup."
"Nice." Sam raised his brows. "Good way to keep up with them, know they're doing ok."
"Yeah." Wordy smiled, but it faded. "I want to be able to answer their questions when they start asking."
"That'll be tough." Sam tipped his head to the side.
Wordy pulled up on front of Sam's apartment building. He put the van in park and looked at Sam. "It will, but I'll be ok." He smiled. "And so will you."
"Thanks." Sam nodded and gave him a half-smile. "See you in the morning."
"Definitely." Wordy said as Sam stepped out. He watched Sam walk into his building and then drove away.
Sam stayed up for a little while, thinking over what Wordy said. He'd been so angry at himself that he wanted to walk away from Team One. His anger had flared a little when he saw his bag on the bench and all his stuff back in his locker. Why would they do that? He had looked at them all standing there and knew why. They knew he belonged on the team and wouldn't let him walk away. He still wasn't so sure. He got up from his black chair and walked into the bedroom. He brushed his teeth, stripped to his underwear and climbed in bed.
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Pax shook his head and took a big swig of his beer. He changed position so he was across the fire from Sam and Matt. He spit the beer with more force which made the fireball extend farther than before.
Sam put his left arm up at the last second to shield himself as the fireball flew at them. The beer on his arm ignited and quickly burned through his thin jacket. He jumped back from the fire, landed on his back and rolled to his left side even though it hurt like hell to lay on his arm.
"Sam!" Matt watched Sam throw himself back and to his left side. He jumped up and rolled Sam to his back, making sure the fire was out. It was. He looked up and yelled at their tent, "Dolittle! Sam's down!" He looked across the fire and saw that Scout had tackled Pax and knocked his lights out. Beast was standing over Scout and making sure he wasn't taking it further. Their medic, Dolittle, was on his way over to Sam with his med pack.
The Sarge ran up from behind them. "What the hell happened?"
Sam looked up at the night sky and tried not to pass out from the pain. He knew parts of the jacket were sticking to his skin. He could tell, especially when Dolittle wouldn't let him touch his arm. It still felt like it was burning, eating his skin and arm off.
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Sam woke up in a sweat. He sat up and looked at his arm. He couldn't tell if it was the memory or the phosphorous burn that was hurting. He got up and found some aloe in his bathroom. He took off the bandage, applied the aloe and put the bandage back on. That helped. He sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing his eyes. He looked at the clock, 0135. He laid back on the bed and closed his eyes. He tossed and turned and alternated between dreams about today and wide awake. At 0245 he gave up and got up.
He threw on his favorite sneakers and sweats, his MP3 player, watch, tee and hoodie. He jogged down the three flights of stairs to the street to warm up. Sam hung a left outside the building and ran at a fast clip to the park. He turned up one of his favorite wooded trails and pumped his legs hard to get up the hill.
As he made it to the top, he didn't let up on his speed as he ran along the small ridge. He knew exactly where he was going and got there in record time. As he reached the openness of the graveyard he hung a right down the hill. He slowed to a stop in front of a stone and dropped to his knees, his chest heaving from the hard run.
"Hey Mattie." Sam put a hand on the engraved name. He sighed, moved to the side and sat on his butt with his legs across the grave, knees bent. He put his arms across his knees and looked at the black name. "I tried Mattie." His eyes filled. "I tried to get him out safe, but it wasn't enough. I couldn't do it." He shook his head.
"He was a brother in arms, I should've been able to get through to him." The tears fell freely. He spent nearly twenty minutes telling Matt about the call. About how he screwed up, again. He finally wiped his eyes and stood. He looked at the sky and realized he was going to be late if he didn't leave. He put a hand on the gravestone. "I gotta go buddy. Talk to you soon."
Sam turned and ran to the entrance of the cemetery and took a right down several blocks before he turned on his street. He reached his apartment, ran up the stairs to his apartment. He changed, grabbed his bag and headed back down the stairs