Reality Isn't Worth It, a Misc. Movies + Fight Club Crossover fanfic

Edward's POV

You know the saying 'the best things in life aren't things'? Well it's true. What's a home without someone you love to share with? What's money good for if it can't buy you a surgeon to fix your broken, tugged heartstrings? Worst of all, what's fame good for? Millions of people fawning after you, when you only want one. A lonely life isn't worth living. At least for me. Reality isn't worth it.

It's the year 2008. Nine years since the best days of my life and somehow I'm still breathing, here. Almost every day I ask myself why. Why am I still alive? I've thought of ending it. Long and hard I've thought of it. I wanted to be dead, lost in oblivion. I wouldn't want to do it the easy way like some stars. Drug overdoses are no longer a surprise for anyone. I wanted to be known for what I did. Jumping off the Empire State building, hanging myself off the Statue of Liberty, maybe I could pull a Kurt Cobain and paint the walls with my brains. Every time I was on a plane, I hoped the engine would explode, crash, burn my carcass into flames.

Brad.

His name replaying in my brain like a broken record. His dirty blonde hair and sky blue eyes, taunting me. His skin was bronze and would glow in every light. His body was that of a God. All his muscles extremely toned and tight. How I loved the forcefulness of his muscles, throwing me around a room, pretending to fight. God doesn't make many like Bradley. He was special.

Brad.

His confidence, almost too much pride actually. Myself on the other hand, I'm a dork. Loser. What stale words to describe a person, I know. Technically, I wasn't a loser. I was an extremely successful actor. Nominated twice for Golden Globes. Still, it was just a nomination, not a win.

Loser.

Brad, he was so much better than I. He too was a successful actor. He actually won awards though. He was a playboy for girls of all generations. I was a string bean. 6'1 and 150 pounds. No fat. No muscle. All bone. I was nothing compared to him. Brad was too good for me.

The thing about Brad is, he's scared. His exterior hides the pussy he is inside. Brad had been covering up his true self from the media by being with the top of the line women. When Brad distinguished himself in the film world, he knew people would like him less if they knew he liked a man's touch over a woman's. He decided to keep himself relevant and fairly prominent. He needed a cover up. This is where Jen comes in. A 20 something blonde of the 90's, making her mark in the film and television world with the hit show among teens, FRIENDS. Brad thought, if he was seen kanoodling with the cutest, biggest teen TV. star, then nobody would see his real self. The little bitch of a man inside. A man that wears two faces soon forgets which is real.

Brad broke my heart. Brad, that God with the heart of a 13 year old boy being terrorized in school. Only wanting to love, but too scared of what others think. It wasn't that I wasn't good enough, pretty enough for him. It's that Brad is a scared little boy and can't admit he himself likes boys.

Now, brad is in a 3 year 'relationship' with Angelina Jolie. Lips bigger than couch cushions. This caused quite the controversy. Brad wasn't one to be quiet in the media. Rumors that he was cheating on Jennifer were everywhere and then came a divorce. No regrets because there never really were feelings involved. Now Brad also has 4 adoptive children. I'm happy for him, really. He always wanted a family. I just thought it would be with me. I'm not really into children though. Slimy, noisy, always making a mess. Wiping shit, the whining, constantly wanting. They are an 18 year contract of responsibility. I'm not even very responsible for myself. It doesn't really appeal to me. I would do it for Brad though, if that's what he wanted. I'd put up with anything for him. Anything to make him happy. I'd do it all.

But here I am. 39 years old, I have no family. Not even a lover. I live in a pretty nice condo outside New York City, but alone. Not even a pet. Pets are like children, responsibility. I have money, I'm quite wealthy actually. Enough to support myself and spoil myself. But my fame isn't very relevant anymore. I did some films in the last year which created less than a controversial buzz. I thought maybe if I got back to work I could get my mind off things but I think it just made me feel worse. I need something to make me not pick up the bottle every night. Something to make me want to live in the real world. Something worth living for. Bradley.

Brad's POV

The clock says it's 6:39 A.M. and the sun is rising. I hope Angie hasn't woken up throughout the night. The last thing i want is for her to see I've left in the midst of the night. What if one of the kids was crying for me in the middle of the night? Where was daddy? She would know and I'd be busted. Not just in trouble, but busted. Not just my family would know, but the whole nation would. The downside to fame is you have no privacy. Everyone knows your everything and they are hungry, starving to know more about every detail in every minute of your personal life.

"Brad?"

Angie is moaning my name and I know that she's awake now.

"Yes dear?"

I'm getting a little anxiety from where this conversation could go.

"Pax came in here looking for you a while ago, where were you?"

Lie, quick, lie your way out of this.

"Oh, I was in my den watching a little TV. Sorry, I must've not heard him. I'll go check up on him now. Go back to bed dear."

I'm hoping that worked, but probably not. Angie has her suspicions. I can't really blame her, this has happened before. She knows I've cheated, not just one her, but on my ex Jennifer too. She knows it was with a man, and it's the same man every time.

Tom, that's his name replaying in my brain like a broken record.

Tom.

He was a tiny man, short but powerful. He was nothing less than a diva and for some reason, I just loved it. I love his short, chunky brown hair and the way he only goes up to my collar bone. I love his shining green eyes and his giant smile. He could be a bit crazy, maybe that's what it was. He liked things his way, he liked to act on impulse. Tom also had a bit of a temper. If he wasn't your top priority, he was seeing red. He was a princess.

Tom and i had to see each other in the middle of the night because of our reputation. Both of us are very famous actors in America mostly, but also around the world. This is how we met. In 1993, while shooting Interview With A Vampire, I met Tom. We were two of the main stars in the film. This film however had many intense scenes, almost erotic. While shooting, I started to feel this tension in my stomach. Something I had only felt around a few women before, never a man. Even around a woman I had never had such butterflies racing in my gut. I couldn't hold it back, and one day I went into his dressing room and kissed him.

Tom.

Tom's lips were so different from anything else I've ever felt. Something softer, something I could feel electricity shocking through my veins and my knees melting. After I pulled away, that's when I knew it. I hated the idea of fate. I hated the idea that I couldn't control what happens in my life but this had to be fate. There was no other explanation. I was meant to like men.

Never have I ever had such an attraction to a man. I liked how Tom was powerful. Most people think I'm powerful because of my looks. I'm strong, quite muscular. But I'm more like a teddy bear. I'm big but fluffy on the inside. I'm too nice of a person sometimes and I let people step on me when I love them. This is my biggest weakness.

Tom though, he was the exact opposite. It's like they say, opposites attract. Tom was little, about 5'7 and puny. He could tear you up though. Not physically, emotionally. He is not soft on the inside. He is cold and made of stone and fire. He is mean and is not afraid to use his diva manner to hurt your feelings if he doesn't like you.

After that kiss, Tom knew how I feel. It was the most ballsy thing I think I've ever done, but I'm glad I did it. Tom and I had started to see each other regularly. Mainly at work in his dressing room. We'd lock the door between breaks and lay down on the tiny couch to cuddle up and take a short snooze. Tom would hold me in his tiny but strong arms. I could feel warmth and happiness brewing dopa mine in my brain and getting my heart pumping. Those were the best moments of my job.

Tom is the man I have snuck out to see tonight behind my girlfriend's back. He is the man I've snuck out for the past 14 years to see. We usually meet at the back of a lonely motel in South LA and sneak in, steal a room. We kiss and cuddle and talk for hours until I have to get back home to my family and him to his. Tom was the first man I've ever slept with. He made me feel more special than a woman ever has. I wanted him to touch me. He knew how to touch me. Tom showed me what love was.

Angie knows about Tom. She has caught me in the act, leaving the house, coming in late. I told her from the start that this wouldn't be real. I told her about Jennifer and how it was all an act. You see, I met Jennifer not long after Tom, She was getting pretty famous from the TV show FRIENDS and I needed a cover up so the media wouldn't attack my talent with my personal life. If people knew I liked boys, they would watch my movies and always think my character was gay. The world is a close minded place, I didn't want all that ruining my career. Jennifer didn't know, but Angie did. Angie knew from the start that this is a set up. Maybe one day we would get married to let the world think I was a man's man with a wife and and kids, living the American dream. I do love Angie, as a friend. I did want kids, Jennifer didn't. This is why I moved on to Angelina. She was also beautiful. Maybe even a little bigger of a star. She was talented and tough on the outside, sweet on the inside. Just like me. I think this is what made me want to be her friend so bad. We related. I met her on the set of one of my films, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. In the film we had to act as a married couple. The world no longer thought it was an act. And they were right. Angie and I acted as though we were in a relationship in the real world, this was my cover up. I was madly, deeply, undeniably in love with Tom Cruise for the past 14 years.