Name of products: Chevaliers.

Shape: Human form.

Manufacture: SUCK.

CEO: Chariot Argeno.

Welcome you morons and maniacs,… er *cough* we mean monsieurs and mademoiselles to a new product of our corporation. We are Sinners of Universal Chevaliers Kingdoom, oh wait Kingdom, well SUCK for short.

Recently we have successes in trying to create a new type of bodyguard and by create we mean train *sweat drop* not that we are doing something illegal like Cinq Fleches and we call the bodyguards Chevaliers, 'cause that way is much cooler. And when you're reading this, zhen then you are very lucky for having a chance to own one of them by giving us a call through a button "review" below.

Chance because that depends on your money and maybe your life if unfortunately you're not a Queen. Oh please, stop your wailing!. We said maybe, and it's only like what 50% that you may lose your pathetic life. All of our mice are not psychiatric, just 4 of them are not right on the head.

Anyway, let's skip the boring part "how you may die" and instead focus on "how useful are Chevaliers". Well they're bodyguards so they will protect you, mostly. For we have 7 types of them and for the reason of safety about physically and mentally, when you want to order a Chevalier we will need you answer a few of our questions. Merci!.

NOTE: Since this products are male Chevaliers (Male only. Sorry, for no matter how much we try, we couldn't create… DAMN… train a female one), so they have their own feelings and they love young women. Therefore, if you are a girl then good, and if you are a boy…, it's fine too.

Question number one: What do you want your Chevalier looks like?. And his age?.

a). Well, I want him not so short and not so tall either,… has curly blonde that look like noodle hair. And I don't like him being "straight" at all, a little "soft" would be great. What?. Don't you DARE judging me!. Having a homosexual bodyguard would be marvelous. If he couldn't beat my enemy with force, then he could offer a more peaceful way to solve the problem by sleeping with them. See, work for ANY genders. Huh!. His age should be 33.

b). The age 55., for the old you get the more experience you have. Uhmm… fat, but not so chubby with dark hair and maybe a beard around his mouth. Oh a high bulging and wide forehead, and "so clean" that when a fly alights on, it drops dead because of it's slipperiness. WAIT, I know!. I want him to have something special about his eyes.

c). Tall. Yes, tall, maybe around 1m9. Having dark locks and kind a long hair. Looking mystery, extremely handsome and dark like a prince from hell. I love "dark" guy, for he will good at that thing. Of course, I want him to be young, 22 or 23. Hell, who would want to touch an old man. URG! Please, people. An old wizened and a body of a sex god. Which one would you prefer?.

d). 20s, medium high… blonde and his hair should curly a bit. Looking gorgeous, like a sweet candy *gasp*. Yes, like a prince with his white "horse", *wink*, me!. Well, I think he should have dreamy sleepy eyes. Duh, I'm a dreamer.

e). I don't know, maybe around 20 something. Black hair with a bun and the rest is loose on his back. What?. It's cool!. Haven't you ever watched Chinese historical drama?. If no, then you suck, S U C K. You didn't know about Jakie Chan or Jet Lee and the hee yaah, ohhh, aaachhaaa. You should kill yourself.

f). I like a black one!. For I'm not racist or anything. Who would want a black one when you're racist, right?. I'm the child of the mayor, so I'm not racist. I listen to the rap, I play basketball, I shape my most precious hair and be bald, I wear so many jewelries so I can't use my fingers, and I… I… Wahhhhhh. I'm not racist!. *sniff*. I don't know about his age, for he's black, but he should be young.

g). A boy!. Probably 13 to 14. Short brown hair, big eyes and a cute smiling face. So cute that I want to rape and then eat him!. HA HA HAAAAA….

ANOTHER NOTE: The answers above were surveyed, and those answers are what we get zhe… the most to describe our 7 types of Chevaliers. If you don't like it, please write one of your own and then on a specific someday we will post your answers. Merci beaucoup!.

Are you done with the fist question?. If you're done then, please click the button "review" below and give us your answers so we may move on to zhe… THE next one. Damn it all!.