I'm sorry if I insult anyone while writing this fanfic, I haven't actually read these books. It's all Katie Llama's fault. Check out her account in a few days, then she'll have some stories up then.

PoV Firestar

I, Firestar Von Fire, am the mighty leader of the best clan in the world (despite the fact that there are only five clans that we know of).

THE THUNDER CLAN!

Now, if you don't know about us, simply, we are America, in cat form. (We're the hero's). We typically save everyone from everything, because everyone sucks, except for us. Despite the fact that we are considered weak because half our clan is kittiepets, at least we have GOD on our side. We have freaking cats in the mother fucking sky looking over us and giving us mother fucking celestial powers that should never have come to this world.

There are some other, less fortunate, clans out there. There is the Shadow Clan. They suck. Every single time, they try to take over the freaking universe, despite the fact they get their asses handed to them every time. I mean, every single leader absolutely sucks. I mean, look at Brokenstar, he sucks. Not only was he abandoned by his unusually sexy mother, but he was also killed by her! I mean, you have to really suck to have that happen to you.

Then there is River Clan. What is their deal? I mean, come on! They're cats! Why in the world do they swim? That's just… unnatural… What do they see in fish? They're so icky! And they also live near broken Twoleg structures. I mean, what the hell? I was a kittiepets, I used to live in one of those structures, so why aren't they smart enough to just live in them? They survive the elements far better than dens, and they're hard to destroy. Who is as stupid as that? Oh wait, there's Wind Clan.

Now, the Wind Clan is…. Windy (like a boss). I know they were our allies, some might even say friends, for a very long time, but their stupidity is starting to get to me. Why the hell would you hunt rabbits? They're so freaking fast, and it's a waste of energy. You might as well eat grass. Grass for God's sake…. Grass. FUCKING GRASS. Also, what's so great about being nimble? You snap like a twig, and I could literally put my paw on your spin, and break you! I don't care if it makes you faster, but I guess that you care, because you need to run away. Like Italy, but less adorable. C:

Next, there's Blood Clan. Yes, I know they're not real. They're like the Death eaters of the cat world! (Yay, Harry Potter reference!) But they have so much hype about them. Everyone was like, "OH, THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US!" and I was like, "Oh, no, let me stop them!" (Because you know I'm the hero!) But when we fought them, they dropped like MOTHER FUCKING FLIES! What the hell? We might have had some losses, but I expected the freaking apocalypse. With aliens, and explosions and earth shattering kabooms! But, noooooooooo. Instead, we just had a bunch of bloody little cats, with an ego the size of the moon.

And thus concludes my explanation of all the clans.