I own nothing. Everything in this story belongs to the creator of Orange is the New Black and Netflix

I'm at Nikki's welcome back party. I am extremely happy to see her. I've honestly missed her so much. She quickly became one of my best friends. However I am a complete mess, trying to deal with having taken a life with my own hands. Keeping it under wraps has been the hardest. Thanks to Red and Freda I feel that I am doing okay. Of course there is the nut job that is Lolli. Let's face it she is completely bat shit crazy.

While at the party Healy entered with Lolli. She hasn't been coping well, she has been meeting with him. I don't know what she has said to him. However she is still here so it couldn't have told him about what had happen. I mean who wouldn't look into that? Then again he is completely useless, but whatever keeps the focus off us. However her current freak out has shaken me to the core. Red is still convinced that it's a good thing. Makes her less credible. I don't care. I'm done with this for today, and down with the party. Nikki is off trying to score something again already anyway so I make my way towards the exit. I need to be alone.

As I approach the exit I hear Piper call my name. "Hey, Vause"

I look up and she is genuinely happy to see me. Watching her lately really hurts me, I am also still so incredibly hurt by her that I can't deal so I do what I've been doing, giving her very little then shutting her down.

"Hey" I say as I quickly. "Sorry, I'm leaving." I finish as I move past her. I am currently going through enough of my own shit and I can't help her.

I go back to the dorms. Not only is the party going but they are playing a movie as well, so it's quite. I go to my bunk and try to read and rid my mind of these horrible memories that plague me, it's useless, and the guilt is slowly crushing me. I then break out into a cold sweat. It's disgusting. I grab my things for a shower and head towards the showers. On the way I spot Ruiz and three others. They seem extremely pleased with themselves, it's almost eerie.

I finally make it into the bathroom. Surprisingly it's empty. It's rare so I step around to the showers. I strip and shower quickly. As I shut off the water and step out I hear someone else enter the bathroom. I hear them drop to their knees. Once I hear the wrenching of them obviously empting their stomach I immediately know who it is. Piper.

I dress quickly and as quietly as I can. I hear her exit the stall and approach the sink. I am fighting it but I can't help it I want to peek around the corner, I love her, still I just don't like the way she has been lately. Or how she treated me. If she only knew I had been right. I've almost told her several times. But, I lost my nerve. I couldn't do that to her. It's funny and painful but that is how we've always been. After all Love is pain. I lose the battle and look, it's clear that she is out of it., she is pale and lacks color in her face. Dinner must have made her sick It's been doing that to everyone. I fight the urge to go and comfort her. Instead I remain silent and go back into hiding.

Once I know she is gone I exit and make my way back to the dorms. I look towards Piper's bunk. I don't see her but I can hear ripping something to shreds. It's not my business and I shouldn't care but heaven help me I still do. I force myself into my bunk, to not think and or go to Piper. I listen as she grunts and moans. Then it is quite once she is settled in her bunk. Then as I start to doze off I hear it. Piper is whimpering as if she is in pain. I hate the sound. My heart immediately clenches. Taking my pillow I wrap it tight around my head and face the wall. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to feel sorry for her. Everyone gets sick because of the new food. Eventually I fall asleep.

When I open my eyes I am confused as to why. I hear hushed talking. It's coming from Piper's bunk. i listen harder only to find that it's red. She is going on and on about her mirror. A Co gets involved, it's loud now. Half the dorm in now awake and angry, it's almost three am. Soon it's done Red stomps off with the CO.

I hear a bunk mate ask Piper if she's okay. I also hear her reply. Not even a little bit. Her voice is strange. However I remind myself I am not supposed to care. But, let's face it. I love her. So of course I care. I am just still so pissed at her. I force myself to try and sleep, however it's pointless. As soon as first breakfast is announced I get up. Yes it's 4am but I am not sleeping. I change quickly and grab my glasses and toilet kit and head to the bathroom. I wash my face, brush my teeth, and comb my hair. I return my toilet kit to my cube, grab my book and decided to get an early breakfast before work. As I pass Piper's bunk I look in. She's facing the wall and not moving. I assume she is sleeping.

I eat breakfast, and read my book. However the book is soon put aside as Nikki and Lorna join me. I listen as they mostly banter. I find myself constantly looking at the door for Piper. I give up after a while. Maybe she isn't ready to stomach the food again just yet. I say my goodbyes to Nikki and Lorna, and make my way back to the dorm to return my book. I have to report for yard detail now.

I look for Piper but I do not see her. I shrug and make my way to the green house.

I've been working the grounds now for a few hours. I am currently on my knees pulling weeds. I look around and notice a group of inmates. Among them I see Piper. She doesn't look well. But, I ignore it. I focus on my work not wanting to be caught staring.

It's then that I hear someone approaching. It Nikki.

She has a shit eating grin on her face as she approaches me. "Mmm-mm. Man, I don't know what your secret is specs. But, you are looking even hotter then I remember." She says as she crosses her arms looking down at me.

"Suck it, Nichols." I snap back.

"Come on. You're single, I am single, the birds are singing, and the grass is soft." Nikki says

I fight the urge to roll my eyes as I answer. Even though I maybe single I am still very much in love with Piper. That however is nobody's business. "The grass is covered in off brand weed killer." I state as I look up to her.

Nikki never one to give up continues to beg. "Pretty please, okay. I just spent 94 days in max, in a 8 bed cell with among others two random shreekers, and a women who put her baby through a dryer cycle."

"Oh, that is sexy." I say looking up to her

"Oh, that's nothing. I learned to shit in front of an audience. Of course what your flush is mainly just whatever is left of your humanity. So." Nikki trails off

I do feel for her I do. But, she has no idea about the shit that has happen since she has been gone. "Yeah, well it's been a fun fest over here." I reply

"Fuck you, Vause. This place is like a camp. What happen? Commissary run out of chocolate chips?" Nikki asks sarcastically.

She is pushing me I feel it. "It's been a shitty couple of months Nikki. You're not the only one that has rough times." I snap back at her.

"Okay" she then crouches to my level. "New plan. You and me go on a magic carpet ride to happy town." She finishes with that smile of hers.

"Jesus, you've got a one track mind." I state

Nikki laughs. "For your information I have a two track mind. Alright come join me on trakta. Look you can even keep your clothes on. oh, of course you know if you don't need a vacation from your reality then uh by all means decline." Nikki finishes looking me in the eyes.

She's got me and she knows it. it's been a shitty shitty few months. My paranoia. Breaking things off with Piper after she became so gross. Then the attack, and me killing Ayden. I really could use a mental break. So I bite. I follow her. We head into the cornfield.

We take turns taking hits off the Crack pipe. I complement her on her ingenuity skills. She then tells me where she got the drugs. It disgusts me, but I am too far gone at this point to really care. We hear something so we both stand to look. We see Piper near the greenhouse. Nikki is unbelievably loud, so I pinch her trying to get her to stay quite.

I do not want her to know what I am doing and I do not want to deal with her. But it's too late. Piper heard she is looking our way, I quickly pull Nikki down. I hear her call Nikki's name, it's too late I hear her approaching us. We try to hide but fail. She finds us.

"Ahh." Nikki yells

"What are you doing?" Piper questions. She is looking at both of us as if we've lost our minds. Truthfully at this point we are both pretty high.

"Hey, bummer Chapman. Get the fuck down or fuck the fuck off." Nikki states. I however am refusing to make eye contact. I due the only thing I can think of. I try to annoy her to leave.

"Bum-bu-bum bum bummer. My tongue feel delightful" I mimic Nikki. It work slightly she is annoyed

Still socked and not moving Nikki reaches up and forcefully pulls Piper down. She screams out in pain. It is then I notice the stain of blood on her arm. I have questions but I don't ask. I keep repeating in my mind that I don't care.

Nikki is leaning in a looking at Piper. "You know from this angle your nose hairs are pretty prominent." Nikki keep looking and I lean in too look. A voice in my head keep telling me to annoy or anger her to get her to go away. I do the only thing I can think of and tease her about her appearance.

"Wow, she use to trim them." I say as I continue to look at her. "You are really letting yourself go Chapman." I mutter shaking my head. It works she irritated.

"Are you two crazy? What the fuck are you doing?" Piper asks looking at both of us

"It's a weekly meeting…" Nikki trails into a horrible explanation "Talking about all the horrible slag we have to drag around on a daily basis." Nikki yammers on, I watch Pipers face. but, whatever is going on with her she is zoned out. I want nothing but for her to go away so I cut to the chase of what Nikki and I are really doing in hopes of repulsing her away.

"And we're smoking crack." I finish in challenge

"Are you two fucking serious?" she snaps

"Well it's not my first choice. Crack in small amounts is actually good for you. It's gotten a bad rap over the years." Nikki says as she hits off the make shift crack pipe.

"Well drug beggers, can't be drug choosers." I add trying to brush her off but it isn't working. Something is truly wrong with her.

"Perfect. So you guys are cracked out of your minds." She asks looking between the two of us. I refuse to look her in the eye because it's true. Nikki is finishing her hit, we already know when it comes to her. However she shocks me and offends me slightly when Nikki offers Piper a hit. "And you can be too. Here" Nikki offers. I secretly hope that this does the trick and drives her away. Nikki of course add too it.

"Full discloser that crack has been up someones ass." Nikki says

"Probably Angies." I add

"Oh, Definitely Angies. Yeah I traded her a lipstick for it." Nikki confirms

I watch as Piper sits in front of us. Breathing heavy. She hasn't answered. I feel a fear growing inside me. She is actually contemplating doing it. I don't like it. This is not my Piper.

Nikki speaks again. "Don't worry Piper, it's sterilized by the flame." I feel relief. Maybe this will scare her off finally. Nikki and I share a laugh. I don't like what I am seeing. I can but cannot totally read her. It's driving me insane

After a few breaths I speak she finally speaks. "Fuck it."

This snaps me out of it. "Whoa, seriously?" I ask shocked. I don't like it. I don't want this for her.

"Why would you offer it to me, if you weren't really going to share it with me?" she snaps

I shake my head I am so shocked. I push my glasses to the top of my head "No, I'm just surprised."

"Well don't be." She states as she then looks to Nikki. "hand it over." She asks.

I watch helpless as the love of my life does this. Nikki proceeds to walk her through the process. I don't like this, looking everywhere but at what Piper is currently doing. Nikki is slowly taking the pipe away from her telling her to take it easy. I can't do anything but look on in shock. Again I am floored by her. This is not the Piper I know.

"Take it easy. Fuck that. I was branded okay." She snaps. Then slowly rolls her sleeve up to show us.

"I did not see that coming." Nikki says as she turns to look away.

I feel as if she has just punched me in the gut. I was pissed at her, and I knew she had pissed Ruiz off but this, this is vile. How could they do this to her? that must be what they were celebrating. "Holy shit. You're a Nazi now?"

"I'm not a Nazi. I think I'm a Nazi sympathizer. I think that was the message. I brought this on myself. This is what I have become, this is what I've fucking become you guys. How do I come back from this? I sent Stella down the hill. Why did I have to do that?" She rambles I look away because I cannot look at the open wound anymore. I hate that they marked her beautiful skin this way.

"She stole all your money. I was acquainted with her in max" Nikki says I am refusing to look her way. I don't want to see it anymore.

"My parents didn't teach me to be like this. What I did to Maria. I didn't feel bad. I didn't think twice. I just went too far. I always go too far. I always go too fucking far and I can't fucking stop it." she finishes overcome with emotion.

Hearing this hurts me. She is just human. "You're not the worst person in here Piper." I say to her

"I think that I've been trying to win prison" She says "I've destroyed people's lives." At this point I can't handle anything else that is coming out of her mouth. She looked at me as she said that last part. She thinks she has destroyed me. I take the crack pipe and start taking another hit. I, being in prison isn't Piper's fault. Sure she may have had someone call my parole officer. But, she didn't make me get that gun. What is her fault is how crazy she made me feel, and how she down played my true fear as soon as I was back. Piper is down right now, so I might as well kick her while she is down, and rub salt in the wound (no pun intended.) and come clean with her. After all she has been asking.

As I exhale I let her hear it. "I killed someone." I finish looking her straight in the eye.

Nikki starts laughing, I chuckle. Piper looks as if she is not believing what is coming out of my mouth. "By accident?" Nikki asks.

I shake my head and answer rocking back and forth. "No, I killed him. On purpose."

Nikki starts laughing again. Piper looks still as if she doesn't believe me and pushes herself closer to me. "Shut up, shut up. What? How? That is impossible. You couldn't do that, I know you." Piper says searching my eyes. How I wish it were true. It's only in times that we are pushed do we really know what we are capable of.

I make the choice then to come completely clean, Fuck, Red. I'll deal with that later. It's Piper. In the end we protect each other. I then start explaining. "Last month, Kubra sent someone in here to kill me. Like I said he would." I say. I watch as tears immediately leave Piper's eyes

"In here?" Nikki asks. To which Alex nods. "Fuckin a."

I watch a million emotions run across her face. The one overriding them all guilt. Of course she then starts asking more questions, questions I wasn't ready for "How? Alex what did you do with the body."

A creepy laugh I have never heard before leaves me. It's as if what I was right back to that day. I smile slightly sickened as I answer. "You're sitting on him… well, parts of him. He is all over." I finish as I finally break down. I am crying. I am crying for what I've done. What Piper has done, and what was done to her. I cannot look at her face. When I do I see nothing but guilt. Truth is it's probably better that I was in here then out on the street. I break down more, sobbing. I didn't tell her to make her feel guilty. I told her because I couldn't hold it in any longer.

It's then that I feel her arms wrap around me. It's sudden and it startles me "Stop." I say and push her away. It's not that it wasn't okay. It was she just surprised me. I continue to break down.

I try super hard to reel in my emotions. When I open my eyes again Piper is gone. Fuck, she probably took me pushing her away as rejection. But, of course she left, it's what she does. It hurts, but it is what it is.

Nikki is freaking out not handling the news well either. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I peek out and see Red entering the green house. I pull Nikki with me towards the green house time to tell Red everything I just told Piper.

"Come, on. We have to talk to Red" I tell Nikki. She pulls her arm away. "I'll follow just don't touch me Vause. God you're a fuckin buzz kill eh. Couldn't wait until we were coming down to say that shit." Nikki finishes as she yanks her arm out of my grip.

I chuckle. "I told you I'd had a shitty couple of months." We then make it to the greenhouse I open the door and we both enter quickly and I slam the door behind us. Red and Freda are talking we startle them.

Red looks at both of us. "Jesus, Vause. What is going on?" Red asks as she watches Nikki turn over and throw herself onto an empty plant pot.

There is no point in sugar coating it. So I come right out with it. "Piper knows, so does Nikki. I told them I killed, and what we did with the body." Is all I say.

Red and Freda both look shocked.

"Jesus, Vause." Is all Red can say. She then goes to Nikki talking to her.

"Why? Why, Chapman? She doesn't know how to keep her trap shut. You seen what she did with that Carlin chick. She can't be trusted." Freda states.

This makes my blood boil. She has her faults but she would never blab about something like this. However Freda misinterprets my silence and speaks again.

"I can take care of her. I can kill her." Freda says as she gets up cracking her knuckles.

Jesus, Fuck what is with this women and always wanting to kill. A cold chill runs down my spine. I then change my stance and go into a protective stance. I will not let her touch, harm, or come anywhere near Piper. However surprising me Nikki bounces up from sitting speaks first. Red gasps.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Berlin? Eh? It's Piper. I know too what are you going to do kill me too?" Nikki says getting into Freda's face.

Freda laughs a wicked disgusting laugh, it makes me sick. "Don't be ridiculous. You're Reds adopted daughter, on top of an addict. You are not credible." Freda states with a wicked grin. "Piper is easy. I can.."

I surge forward next to Nikki. However before I can speak Red does. "Enough. I trust Vause. If she says Chapman won't speak then I believe her. Freda you are not to touch any of my daughters. They are my family. You will bring no harm to them." Red says in a thick no bull shit Russian accent.

Freda does nothing and deflates. "Okay." Is all she says as she retreats to the corner. I feel a sense of pride surge through me as Red claims Piper and me as her own. It is the first time I have ever heard her claim us as family.

Red turns to Nikki and I. I fill her in on what I exactly told her. I then tell her what happen to Piper. I don't tell her all the details, but enough. Red promises to talk with Piper. She then dismisses Nikki and I, but not before telling us all to meet for dinner. She'd be bringing Piper and she wanted us to deliver the news to the rest of the family. We agree.

As we turn to exit, I can't totally let it go. Freda threatened Piper. I cannot let it slide. I am not afraid of Freda. Years in the cartel taught me how to read people. Freda puts up a scary front, but she is fickle, and will toss you to the side after she has used you. She hates confrontation. Likes to attack when others aren't looking. My eyes are wide open. I am on to her.

So, I turn back, my protective side coming out in full force. "Freda, if you ever so much as threaten Piper again or look at her in the wrong manner. I'll fucking end you. I don't like it, but, you threaten what is mine again. I will." I finish with a raise brow and a no bullshit stare. I watch as she pales. I then turn and march not waiting for a response, Nikki follows.

"Jesus, Vause. I thought you were done with Piper?" Nikki says

I laugh. "Thing's will never be totally over, even when they seem hopeless. Its how we've always worked. She and I are inevitable. I love her Nik, we need each other now more than ever now. I'm going to do everything within my power to help and keep her safe." I look at Nikki she looks disgusted.

"Ah, o-okay. I get it. Please stop before I puke." She finishes with a shake of her head.

We laugh together. I look around the yard for Piper. I don't see her or any of the construction crew. We continue towards the main building, going in search of the others. Nikki and I split up, she went to get Lorna, and I went to inform the others.

We are all seated in the cafeteria, waiting for Red and Piper. Boo who has brought Doggett along said she will not stay if Piper does actually show. We try talking to her but it is no use. Boo is angry with Piper. Piper owes her money. With the way things have gone Boo, knows the payday isn't coming. However unlike Ruiz, Boo isn't a fighter. She just likes to bitch a lot which is surprising for a butch.

I'm anxious I want to see her. Soon we see them enter. I watch as they fetch trays, and then turn to join us. Piper hesitates but Red is talking. Slowly Piper follows. It is at this point that Boo and Doggett leave the table. Boo mumbling something about us being traitors.

Red and Piper take their places. I am looking right at her, willing her to look at me. However she doesn't budge, she keeps her head down cast and focused on her food. I can read the guilt on her face and I hate it. Red talks about needing to fix Piper's brand. I immediately agree to help. I don't want Piper to feel as if she is alone in this, and also because I am still trying to get her to look at me. She looks panicked for a moment, then settles without looking up. I watch as she then pushes the tray away. I don't like it. She barely ate anything, and I didn't see her at breakfast this morning and I know she tossed her cookies last night. But, I stay silent still trying to will her to look up, of course she doesn't.

Soon we are in the kitchen, I can smell the metal. Looking at Piper she is rolling up her sleeve and going even paler then before. I cringe at the site of the wound it look worse than before. My protective side comes out.

"Are we sure about this? I mean that is still really tender." I try.

Red nods. "We have to do it now, or it won't match" Red then looks at Piper.

"Yeah, let's do it." Piper says in agreement. Oh my beautiful brave Pipes. My heart clenches for her.

Red looks scared and disgusted. But it has to be done. "Okay." She says looking to us others.

"Hold her tight." Red says as she prepares. Norma adds a bite block we then hold Piper in place. I hate it.

I watch as Piper breaths in and out.

Then red touches the hot metal to her skin. You hear it sizzle as it burns into her skin. Piper cries out in pain. Norma and I hold her tighter. She drops the bite block and continue to moan in pain as Red continues. Having avoided me and the moment she breaks and looks my way. The anguish on her face makes my heart break farther.

"I am so sorry." She says locking eyes with me. Her blues meet mine, holding nothing but sarrow. She is crying, and I am trying my best to hold it together for her.. "I know. I know" I say trying to soothe her.

"I am so so sorry." She says again as Red continues to torture her. How long could this really take? Like hurry the fuck up. I think in my mind as Red continues.

"When god gives you a swastika, he opens a window." Red says as presses the hot metal to her skin for the final time. Piper is breathing heavy, as if she is trying to breathe through the pain. I feel relief but I am still worried. Piper has a very open wound, and we are in a prison, with sub-medical care. I vow now to make sure I take care of her.

"Then you remember there is no god." Red finishes as she shuts the stove off. I agree silently with her statement. Red then tell me to take Piper back to the dorms as her and Norma clean the kitchen.

Piper hears and is up and walking. I fall in step with her heading towards our dorm. It's silent and she still won't fully look at me. I am looking at her though, tears fall silently down her beautiful face. I want nothing more than to wipe them all away and hold her, I'm concerned. When she finally does look at me she talks "Thank you, and again I am so sorry. For everything really." She says and I know. I nod "I know Piper. Need anything else?" I ask as we make it to her cube. I look at her the way I always look at her. I love this woman. However I force myself to go hide it. With everything going on I've become a master at hiding how I truly feel. I watch a million emotions play across her face. I know she wants me near, but, she is scared, and she feels guilty. Finally she answers me.

"I think I've done enough. Thank you for everything you've done. I think I am just going to go and shower." She finishes as she then gathers the items. I hesitate I don't really want to leave her. I want to be there for her. However when she turns and still sees me she gets defensive.

"What?" she asks. I shake my head deciding not to push. "Enjoy your shower." I says as I then walk to my cube.

As she gets out a view I then decide that I am going to follow her. I don't want her to be alone. I also want to protect her. So grabbing my towel I follow. By the time I get there she is already in the shower, and is in a full fledge breakdown. My heart breaks as I listen. I think about joining her in the shower, but that wouldn't be right. We are still so far from where we use to be. My throat feels like it is closing in. I clear my throat and it startles Piper. She seems to get control of her emotions and starts to actually shower.

As I hear the water shut off I quickly grab her towel and mine and ready myself. This can go one of two ways. She will either be happy, or extremely stubborn. She steps out and my mouth goes dry. She is absolutely beautiful. My god do I love this women. I look of course I look, my mouth waters and I swear I can taste her in my mouth. Piper's shiver breaks me out of it, I step forward and wrap the towels around her. I then try to wrap my arms around her. Of course she freaks, stubborn Piper it is.

"What are you doing Alex?" Piper asks as she steps back and knots the towel.

"Piper, you're in pain. Let me help you." I say as I once again step forward.

The look of panic comes across her face. "No." She says as she takes my towel off her head and holds it out to me. "Your towel." She offers

"Why are you being so stubborn?" I ask ignoring the towel she is holding out my way

"Because, Alex." Is all that comes out.

I smile and push the glasses up to the top of my head. She is really trying to push me away, but I won't have it. I love her and right now like it or not she needs me and I need her. "That is not a good enough answer Piper. I am here I want to help you. Damn it now let me help you." I finish as I again step forward

Piper tries to step away again but there is no room and she hits her wounded arm on the wall. Oh my poor Pipes. I am quick and I wrap my arms around her. Pulling her over to sit on the bench I start rubbing her shoulders and back trying to warm her. She is still fighting me, but it's pointless I am not letting her go.

"Why are you doing this? Why do you care? Why are you here? Why are you not staying vary far away from me? You should be telling me I told you so and you should hate me. I've ruined your life." Piper screams at me.

I am having none of it. What happen would've happen no matter where I was. "That's enough. Just calm down alright. I've got you." I finish and I keep doing what I am doing. After a while Piper complies. It's almost as if she is enjoying it, I am too. Over time i loosen my hold. "I'm gonna get dressed." Piper says and I let her up, as her towel falls a mark on her rib cage catches my eye. I gasp in shock.

When did you get that?" I question.

Piper shrugs. "I did it a few weeks ago. When we weren't speaking." Piper answers as she then quickly goes to dressing. Once finished she moves to the sink, I follow. Again the Spider following the fly.

"Is there anything else I should know about?" I question.

Piper rolls her eyes but meets my gaze in the mirror. She asks the same stupid questions she asked that I didn't answer before. "Why do you care? Why are you here? Why are you not staying vary far away from me?"

Through the mirror green meet blue. I send her a smoldering loving look. However Piper is still challenging me. I want to say it I do. But, we are still so far from that and have so much to work through.

"You really going to make me say it, kid?" I question with a small smile and step forward with our eyes still locked. Resting my front to her back. I feel her wobble, and brace herself against the sink. I breathe in her scent. I've missed her.

"What does this mean Alex?" I hear her ask

It is then that I reach up and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't know. I just want us to be there for each other Pipes. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. I want us to try to be friends again, and we can see where it goes. That is if that is something you still want?" I ask her

It takes her a while but a beaming smile finally overtakes her face. it's as if she had just reconfirmed or promised something without voicing. "Of course I want that." Piper beams

We then start back for the dorms. We talk comfortably about anything and everything. It is the first night in a really long time that I finally feel at ease, and relaxed. When they call light out we say our goodbyes. I watch as Piper walks to her bunk. Once I know she is there safely I lay in my bunk. Then I sigh. My mind is back in overdrive as soon as she is gone, and I am back on edge. I toss and turn as my mind starts going crazy. Looks like sleep will evade me tonight. Reaching up I grab my radio, I place the earbuds into my ears, I turn on the talk radio. In hopes that the monotone chatter will lull me into a peaceful sleep. Eventually it works and i drift off.

THE END

AN: This is Alex's point of view. Let me know if you enjoy this. if there is a scene you want dug deeper into? Maybe the show didn't go as far as you wanted. let me know. i'd be willing to try.