Chapter 1: Those Crazy Americans

Artemis sat at his father's desk. Father and Mother were in Seville for their anniversary but the twins were still here, so Artemis Fowl Sr.'s office seemed the best place to hold a conference with Foaly and Holly.

Artemis smiled as he thought this. Conference. Honestly. This was one of the few authorized meetings that he and his friends from the People were having, so, as politicians do, the Council wanted to make this seem more unprecedented and official, hence the simple meeting being called a conference. In reality, only Holly, Foaly, Butler, Artemis, and a mystery guest were attending.

The thought of the mystery guest wiped the smile off Artemis's face. Despite his repeated inquiries, Foaly had refused to say exactly who this guest was. Even Holly (to her frustration) was kept in the dark. Butler had not seemed to react at all - but had, without the knowledge of Artemis, packed enough weapons into his coat to effectively rob a Swiss bank.

Artemis raised his mismatched eyes to the Grandfather clock at the far end of the room. One thirty-five in the afternoon. There were precisely ten minutes until the "conference" began.

Ten is five times two, so everything is fine.Artemis flinched and squeezed the arms of his father's leather chair. The Irish teen had gotten out of therapy only a month ago, and that was five months since the entire conflict with Turnball Root. Despite all this costly therapy, some of the Atlantis Complex still lingered. Dr. J. Argon had explained after all the therapy, to a very angry Angeline Fowl, that it would take time for all the effects of the Complex to fade away. The doctor had been sweating, on account of having found more than a match in Angeline, and Holly had been watching the explanation from the sidelines with a barely-concealed grin.

Holly was fuming. She was fuming because Foaly had been keeping a very big secret from her for five years.

"So why didn't you tell me?" she snarled into her microphone. Her voice was being transmitted back to Foaly's booth back in Haven.

She could hear Foaly sigh. "Holly, it was maximum security. Absolutely nobody other than Commander Jenks knew!"

Commander Winslow Jenks was in charge of the PIB - the People's Investigation Bureau. It had better security than the CIA, more surveillance than the FBI, and more top-secret investigations than the KBG. Foaly was certainly not part of the PIB, but, being the foremost technology expert of the People in general, he was in on a lot of their investigations.

Holly pointed this out. "And you!"

"Right, and me. Jealous?"

If Holly had been in Foaly's booth and they weren't such good friends, she may have kicked Foaly. "Foaly! You're horrible at keeping secrets! We both know that!"

"Burn, Holly, burn." Foaly pretended to be hurt, but everyone who knew Foaly, himself included, knew that keeping secrets was not one of the centaur's talents. "Anyway, you had your hands full with the Fowl boy. No need to get you all excited about something you weren't a part of."

Holly ignored that. "You could have told me there's another human out there who works with the People!"

"Shhh!" said Foaly. "You never know who might hear you."

The warning was unnecessary, and both knew it. Holly was walking down the Fowl Manor's driveway toward the front door. She was, of course, shielded, and knew well enough to keep her voice down. Holly glanced behind her at the aforementioned human. It was walking along, humming some popular new pop tune under its breath. Holly bit her lip angrily to keep from screaming. She'd been asked to pick this human up, and had been told about it on the way to its home. Needless to say, she still wasn't happy.

The door flew open, and Artemis stood up abruptly. Holly stormed in. "Hi, Arty," she said, attempting to be conversational. It didn't work, and Artemis heard the tension in her voice immediately.

"Hello, Holly. What's wrong?"

Holly shook her head, shoulder-length hair swishing. "You'll find out, soon enough."

Butler entered the room almost silently. "Holly, as the head of security here, you'll understand why I have to know who is out-"

Holly cut him off. "Let Foaly explain." She nodded at Artemis, who switched on the giant screen on the wall. Foaly's head appeared.

Smirking, he asked, "Hello, Mud Boy. How's Orion?"

Artemis barely suppressed a groan. "Unfortunately, alive and well." He glanced at Holly. "And babbling on continuously."

Holly did groan. "I was hoping the four months of therapy would have gotten rid of him."

Butler grunted. "Who is outside the room, Foaly?"

Foaly rolled his eyes. "So much for small talk." He nodded at Butler. "First off, let me say that I wanted to tell you all sooner. Really."

Artemis settled back into the chair and turned it to face the screen. "So, now that you can tell, please do," he said dryly.

Foaly cracked his neck, and Artemis tried not to look annoyed at the sound. "Alright, Artemis. There's another human out there working with the people."

Artemis simply shrugged. "I guessed that might be the case. Simple logical reasoning, really."

Holly growled. "Sounds like the Artemis Fowl we all know."

Foaly asked, "And where is she now? Please tell me you didn't knock her out because you were angry, Holly."

"If I did, I would have been completely justifi-"

Artemis interrupted, leaning forward. "She?" he said in mild surprise.

"Ah," said Foaly, smirking. "Something the Fowl boy doesn't know. May I introduce to you Elaine Harbor."

Elaine entered the room. "Oh," she said with fake happiness, "how I love dramatic entrances."

Artemis shuddered. If Mother had been here, she would be thrilled,he thought sarcastically. Jeans and a t-shirt. Elaine had her dark brown hair in a sloppy ponytail, with rhinestone-studded jeans and a t-shirt saying, "I believe in fairies. You got a problem with that?" Beneath the words was a furious-looking pixie holding up a big fist. Not inaccurate, Artemis had to admit.

The teen - obviously American - stopped six inches from Artemis's nose, looked him in the eyes. Still staring, she said loudly, "Are we going to have a problem with each other, Fowl?"

Artemis held the bold gaze. "Undoubtedly," he replied coolly.

Elaine grabbed the boy's hand and pumped it up and down. "Glad we agree."