Swing me a swing – SasuNaru/AU
And I couldn't believe I was next to him again, watching him, sitting so peacefully and quietly on that swing. It crossed my mind that he changed in these few years. He was never like this before, as if he transformed into another person, someone so alone and silent. As if he became me.
And I found myself next to my best friend, not knowing what to say anymore, not knowing how to start up a conversation. He was the one good at that. It was his role, his part. Why is he so silent now?
Every time I glance at him, at that expression on his face, I just know that there is so much he wants to say, but I guess we are in a same situation – words just can't find their way out. I can't seem to be able to form a normal sentence and manifest it into sound. And…I want to, I want to say all of it, I want to hear everything he has to offer too. But I can't…I can't open my goddamn mouth.
"Why did you come back?" he breaks the silence. That is his role after all.
"I'm happy to see you too, Naruto," I respond in my own selfish way, even though the only thing I want to do now is to just hug him.
He frowned at the ground, tightening his grip around the chains of the swing and a little 'tch' escaped his mouth.
"You just left," he continues…so here it comes, I've been waiting so long to hear those words, "you fucking bastard."
His curse completely surprises me, as I expected to be punished for my act. I stop swinging, my head turning to look at him, not even aware that my mouth opened wide. And he just glanced at me, that look of his being full of contempt and something else I couldn't define.
"What is it Sasuke, you're even more silent than usual," I felt as if every next word of his was a direct hit of hatred.
No, if he hated me he would have done something… or would he? He is not the same Naruto I had left six years ago, and I don't know this man next to me.
"You have changed," I say this to quickly counter his strike at me, but I realized the huge mistake I made just a second after blabbering those words out.
Shit, I am always so reckless when it comes to him.
"How the fuck can you possibly know?" he hissed at me, something that I didn't want to provoke.
"Calm down, Naruto," I tried not to make it sound like an order.
"Calm down? Calm down? I've been calm for too fucking long! I JUST CAN'T BE CALM ANYMORE," is this it?
I decided to stay put, eyeing him carefully, being sure not to show how upset I am right now, how much I want to scream back.
"You left, six years ago, on this very day. You disappeared and left nothing behind as if there was nothing to be left. No, actually, you did leave something behind. You left me," I felt something clutching my gut and ripping it like a piece of fabric.
"And every damn year I come to this place, sit on this fucking swing and…and nothing. Nothing ever happens, no one ever shows up, I just become one with the emptiness of this place," Naruto lowered his head, unwilling to look at me.
Honestly, I was afraid of that look he might give me because just that look of his could kill me, right here and right now. And I'm sure he felt it too, I'm sure he knew it.
"And I'm tired of it Sasuke," for the first time my name escapes his lips, "I'm tired of feeling bad because of something I couldn't affect, or rather, the regret that I haven't even tried. I'm tired of…tired of waiting for you to show up and tired of this heavy feeling pressing my chest. I can't anymore," he still wouldn't look at me, and like I wimp, I looked away too, debating whether I should say something or keep silent.
"Why are you here now?" he interrupted my thoughts by asking the same question as before.
And I wasn't sure how was I supposed to answer and if there was a right answer to that question. But the one thing was sure – I am here, after all this time.
"You remembered," he chuckled, "you know the day when you left. And all this time I was telling myself to forget about you. Sasuke doesn't care about you, don't be a fool. So what is the meaning off all this?" and he finally did it, looked my way.
I felt his eyes on my skin, burning it, making me uncomfortable and ashamed of who I am. And then I forced myself to look up at those blue eyes, my entire body trembling because probably for the first time in my life I was afraid of something, or someone. And why was I afraid? Because I thought that I won't be able to return to him, that he won't accept this shameful apology or mine, because I was not sure if he understands that I beg for forgiveness without using my words.
"Say something already, goddammit," he snapped, chains of the swing clanking as his body now turned more my way.
And I did it again, I just looked down, defeated, scared of the words I might say, scared of admitting that I was wrong.
"Yeah," he shook his head and turned away, sighing, "you came back, sure. You are just a few years late," he stood up, determined to leave, but I finally came to my senses and stopped him.
In the last second I managed to grab his hand and jerk him back.
"Wait, don't go," I whispered, already feeling pathetic for being this weak.
He stood in surprise in front of me, not letting go of my hand, stepping forward. My head was bent down, as now I really didn't want to look at him, especially because I felt my eyes getting watery and trying to wipe my tears with my sleeve.
The Uchiha bastard is crying. Oh boy, this is going to be good.
But he reacted in a way I could only dream of by crouching between my legs and pulling my head just a bit up so he could see my crying face. Moving hair from my eyes, he observed me, and I just couldn't bear this cold glare he was giving me.
My body reacted on its own and I simply yanked forwards and captured my friend into a hug. What surprised me the most is that his arms automatically flew to grab me and he held me tight. I broke down in his arms, my whimpers probably telling him more than my words ever could. And he took each one to heart and with every breath of mine he would hold me tighter.
"We are so gay," I laughed through the tears. This was the only clever sentence I could pull out at the moment.
"Shut up, you're ruining the moment, teme," he responded, giving me my nickname back.
Something in those words was radiating with warmth and I could feel my Naruto coming back to me.
…
As now they were just two boys on the old playground, swinging in silence. And they both remembered how it used to be. All that laughter and the time that they had spent together were now erased by six years of an empty playground and broken friendship. But with every new swing a new bond was being born and all of the memories were being rebuilt. And they didn't even realize how many things were left unsaid, but they didn't care.
Swing forward: "I can touch the sky."
Swing backwards: "The ground is so far away."
Those blue eyes kept looking higher and higher, it seemed to the raven that he really intends to reach the sky at some point.
"I'm gonna do it," the blonde announced his resolve.
The only one who could understand this was his best friend who is now back. And he winced at those words, looking at the blonde with certain suspicion in his gaze: "You're an idiot."
But the blonde was persistent: "I'm gonna jump."
"You can't do that. Forget about it," he knew his friend too well to take his words seriously.
"I'm telling you."
"You're not gonna do it."
A small curve formed on Naruto's lips as he looked Sasuke's way.
And it all happened in seconds, as his swing flew forward and his hands letting go of it, the smile remaining on his face as he rushed through the air.
"I can fly, Sasuke," he whispered as he closed his eyes.
And after that everything remained black, until the moment when the strong light broke through his eyelids. He opened his eyes and saw Sasuke's face over his, feeling his hands on his chest.
"Baka Naruto!" he yelled, took a handful of his shirt and pulled him up.
Naruto couldn't resist laughing it off, as if nothing happened. His laugh echoed through the empty playground, giving it life once again.
And maybe that was the way it supposed to be. Maybe, just maybe, that was the right thing to do.