Because let's face it, an Oliver Shaw and Sam Axe friendship would be so freaking awesome. Even if this story makes no sense whatsoever.
And it's full of inside jokes/information from both shows, so if you've only seen one or the other, some of the things said might not make much sense.
They had become acquainted over their love for guns and cars, friends over their love for food, and best friends over their love for alcohol.
As far as Oliver Shaw was concerned, there was no one cooler than Sam Axe (other than Sam Swarek, but that another story entirely), and as far as Sam Axe was concerned, there was no one cooler than Oliver Shaw (other than Michael Westen, but that's also another story entirely).
So when Sam had called Oliver up out of the blue with the news that he would be in Toronto on some secret Robin Hood commando mission and an invitation for a night of drinking and catching up, it had taken him all of 0.8 seconds to accept.
It was comforting to know that despite the ever moving whirlwind that was life, there were some things that stayed the same. And by the same, Oliver meant exactly the same. Things always managed to be the same with Sam Axe. When he told Zoe he was going out for drinks with an old buddy from Miami, she threatened him with a divorce if he got himself into any kind of trouble, which was always how the evening ended when the two of them got together. Drinks lead to food, and food led to fast cars, and fast cars inevitably led to explosions involving C-4 and the trigger-happy bombshell that was Fiona Glennale.
Plus, Zoe's Rule #2:' No head spins' was largely thanks to Sam Axe and their very short-lived break dancing duo in college.
Oliver spotted him sitting at the bar in a God-awful lime green linen shirt that must have been bought at the same shit-hole he bought all of his shirts, a very conspicuous empty area in front of him where a drink (or five) should have been.
"I'll be damned, Sam Axe without a drink," Oliver said, clapping the large man on the back before sitting down next to him.
"Ollie! No - " the bartender (a young man with more gel in his hair than an undercover Swarek) placed a mojito in front of him. "I'm just refilling."
"For a second there I thought you had gone off the bottle, and then I would've had to shoot you."
"Damn straight, skippy. You know, this place has the best mojitos I've ever had, and I've stayed at some pretty swanky places."
"Stayed?"
"Staked out. Same thing. A little moolah here, a small wink there. You know how Chuck Finley operates."
"And how is Chuck doing? Had to break him out recently?"
"He just successfully completed the retrieval of a kidnapped child with nothing but a walkie-talkie and some duct tape."
"Damn that Chuck Finley. He's like a Chuck Norris."
"If by 'like a Chuck Norris' you mean he eats Chuck Norris' heart for breakfast, then yes. Beer?"
"Hell yes."
Sam tapped the counter with two fingers and the bartender brought one over.
"Have as many as you want, Ollie. I'm buying."
"New woman?"
"She's an angel among hotel owners."
"A chain?"
"But of course. Did you see that red Ferrari on your way inside?"
"There's no way in hell that's yours."
"Nope. It's hers."
"I need to move down to Florida. Need a fourth man for your posse?"
"Actually, we've got a fourth man. Jesse. Mike burned him accidentally, he shot Mike, now he helps us with occasional jobs, blah blah blah. Long story."
"To have your life, buddy. Girls, drinks, Florida."
"Crazy ex-CIA agents and their even crazier girlfriends. Do you know Fi's now living with Mike?"
"How's that coming along?"
"You know Fi. Bat shit crazy, but Mikey loves her. How's Zoe?"
"She told me to tell you that she will hunt you down and kill you herself if we end up on a Chinese ship smuggling illegal firearms again."
"Tell her hi from me too. How's Sammy?"
"Sammy's in denial over this girl."
"Not that blond chick from the hospital?"
"No. She broke up with him because of this girl. Who's his partner."
"Partners. Never date them. I learned that lesson with Lisa."
"That's right. Lovely Lisa Waters, FBI Agent."
"Last I heard from her she was married with three kids and living in the suburbs. I'd eat my gun if I had to live there. Buddy!" Sam motioned to the bartender again. "A beer for my friend and another mojito for me."
"So, what are you doing up here in Toronto anyways?"
"In Canada you mean? The one country I hate more than Colombia?"
"Why do you harbor more hatred for my native country than the country you got shot at, blown up, and instigated a revolution in?"
"I need to talk to Barry and he refuses to come back to Florida."
"Barry's here? In Toronto?"
"Forget I said that. I didn't say that."
"Because if you did, I'd have to tell the computer boys at 28th that a hacker wanted in eight U.S. states is currently seeking refuge here. But since you didn't say that, I don't have to tell them."
"You are a wonderful, wonderful man, Oliver Shaw."
"I've been waiting to hear that since the 2006 Miami debacle."
"It's not my fault that Zoe didn't appreciate a little excitement on your vacation."
"A little excitement is dolphins playing volleyball. This involved a high speed car chase, a sniper, and a fake container of carbon monoxide."
"Hey, speaking of high speed car chases, want to take a ride in the Ferrari?"
"Only if I get to drive."
"Hell yes you do."
"I thought you'd never ask."