Be advised: this story includes spoilers for "A Tale of Two Cities," so if you haven't read it, proceed with caution :)
Disclaimer: Charles Dickens is a fabulous author and I could never hope to be as talented as him. He'd probably have a field day with the characters of Castle, whom I do not own.
"Gram?" Alexis moved from the shadow of the staircase and blinked into the bright fluorescent kitchen light.
Martha turned at the sound of her granddaughter's voice. When she spied the girl, looking sleepy and hesitant on the other side of the island, she dropped the book she had been reading and beckoned her over. "Yes, darling?" she asked, as Alexis hopped on the barstool next to her.
Alexis didn't say anything at first, just furrowed her brow as if in deep thought. Martha nodded understandingly. "I'm reading A Tale of Two Cities. Didn't you read that one in the tenth grade?" she said, hoping to draw the girl out of her silence.
"Yes," Alexis said softly. "I hated it."
"Why is that? Personally I find it thrilling."
"Well..." Alexis took a slow breath and laced her fingers together in front of her. A wisp of hair fell from the sloppy bun she had tied at the base of her neck, but she ignored it. "I hated that Sydney Carton had to die. I mean, he could have found another way to rescue Charles. He might have seemed bad, but he was actually a really good man. And he loved Lucie, you know? Even if he could never be with her, he still loved her. And he gave everything for her. I wish he didn't have to die."
"Ah, yes. I see. I remember feeling that way."
"I hope I didn't just ruin the ending for you."
"Oh, don't worry." Martha waved it away. "I've read this book many, many times. I know exactly what happens. But that's the beauty of it - even though I know the ending, I can still read it over and over and experience the same excitement. Perhaps that's also how you view life as you get older."
Alexis smiled faintly, gazing intently at her bright pink fingernails as if scrutinizing them for any flaws. "I guess so. I wouldn't know yet." She scrunched up her nose in an attempt to smile sincerely, but then her face fell again. "Gram?" she began, timidly.
"I'm listening."
"I don't...I wish..." she sighed in frustration, searching for words and fighting back sudden tears. Her throat thickened, and she swallowed hard and frowned off into the distance. "I worry about Dad. All the time. Maybe it's stupid, but I hate that he puts himself in danger when he's got me to think of. What if he dies, and I'm left here alone?" So far she was managing to control her emotions, but the storm was coming.
"You'll have me. And your mother, and many other people who care about you." Martha took one of Alexis' hands in her own and squeezed it tight. "You know you won't be alone, dear."
"But I love him!" Alexis turned accusing eyes toward her grandmother. "Doesn't he realize that? Even if he's provided for me to live in safety and comfort in case he dies, he'll still be gone! I'll still need him, and he won't be there!"
"Shh," Martha warned gently. She didn't want to wake Rick and let him hear this conversation.
"You're the only one I can talk to, Gram," Alexis sniffled. A hot tear escaped and slid down her cheek. She rubbed at it angrily. "I can't talk to Dad because he'll just laugh and say it's silly of me to worry, and I can't talk to Detective Beckett because...because she's the one who's always putting him into this danger! She's the reason Dad puts his life on the line all the time. And I can't talk to Mom because she's so...she just...she never really listens, and she never really knows what to say. And my friends...they obviously don't understand."
"I worry about him, too," whispered Martha, pulling Alexis into a hug. She stroked the silky red hair softly, her other hand tracing circles through the thin fabric of Alexis' pajamas. "I do. Just as much as you. But I don't think your father would laugh at you if you told him these things. He knows full well what he's doing whenever he goes out there, solving crimes and puzzling through mysteries. Sometimes facing the wrong end of a gun. But he wouldn't just leave you, Alexis, he loves you too much. You're all he has."
"No, I'm not," mumbled Alexis. "Not anymore. He's in love with Beckett. And everything he does out there is for her. I know it is. Maybe he does think about my safety, but not as much as he obsesses over that case. The sniper. Beckett's mom. And I hate it."
"Listen to me, darling," said Martha. "Really listen. You must never think that your father loves you less simply because he also loves Kate."
"I don't like calling her that."
"Well, I do. She is a very strong woman. And I know that she would give her life for your father just as readily as he would give his for her. Or for you. He loves you both equally. Kate hasn't caused him to...to transfer his love, she has caused it to grow. To grow so that there's enough for you both. More than enough, I would say. I've seen your father change for the better since he met Kate. He's grown up alongside you. His capacity for love has grown, too."
"I just want him to be safe," Alexis whispered, barely audible.
"I'm afraid I can't promise that, darling," said Martha sadly, hugging her tightly. The two of them stayed there for a while, rocking slowly back and forth, until Alexis had silently cried out all her tears. At last she sat back and wiped her eyes, brushing the loose hair away from her face.
"I kind of hate Detective Beckett sometimes," she admitted. "She's hurting my dad; can't she see it? He loves her so much, but she just...ignores him."
"I'm afraid that I often feel the same way," Martha said. "I'd rather your father be in a happy, healthy relationship. But the heart wants what the heart wants. Kate is an admirable woman in many respects, I must say. Beautiful. Intelligent. I only hope that someday she'll be able to return his feelings for her. I suspect that she already harbours something towards him...whether it's love or not, I can't say. But it's more than friendship."
"Then why can't she just say so?" Alexis blurted in frustration. "Why can't she just tell him and stop playing with his feelings?"
Martha shook her head. "It's not always that simple, my dear. She has a lot of emotional turmoil to sort through. And your father doesn't exactly have the greatest reputation when it comes to committed relationships. She'll speak up in her own time."
"I just want him to be safe," Alexis said again. "Safe and happy. When he's depressed, it makes me depressed, too."
"I'm sorry, darling," Martha said softly, gently running her thumb along the side of Alexis' hand. "I know exactly how you feel. It's difficult seeing your son moping around because of a woman, trust me."
Alexis laughed briefly. "I'm sorry too, Gram."
"We'll get through it together, though, won't we?" Martha laughed with her and pulled her into another hug. "We're strong women, too."
"Yeah. We'll make it." Alexis smiled and kissed her grandmother's cheek.
"Go onto bed now, why don't you?" said Martha. "It's two in the morning. You need your sleep. Don't let your worries keep you awake anymore."
"I won't, Gram. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, dear."
Alexis hurried back up the stairs in her sock-clad feet. Martha watched her go, then turned back to her book. It simply didn't hold her interest anymore, and she set it down abruptly and rested her chin in her hand. "Oh, Richard, Richard..." she whispered. "What am I going to do with you?"
I've never really focused on the Alexis/Martha relationship before. But I always enjoy their interaction on the show. They're such a close family. I just wondered what I would come up with if I removed Castle from the equation and gave the two of them a chance to have a heart-to-heart talk. So...this happened. I guess I'm happy with it...Hmmm.