Hear You Me
Summary: /AU to 316/ As Lucas tries to get over the death of Peyton Sawyer, he realizes that he lost more than just a friend.
AN: I don't own One Tree Hill, I also don't own 'Hear You Me' for which I borrowed for the title, and the lyrics for this fiction.
Death is evitable. It happens to everyone, at one point or another. There is no fighting it, no changing it or getting past it. When, however, you are on the other side of death. When you are the one dealing with it, trying to get over it. That is a fate far worse than death itself. This is the place that Lucas Scott is currently stuck at. A place that makes him feel as if he too wanted to die.
It had been two weeks to the day that she had died. Two long agonizing weeks that left him hurt and heartbroken at just the thought. It was more than that though. Not only had he lost one of his closest friends that day. No that was not enough for him. He also lost his girlfriend that day. He hadn't so much as talked to his two remaining friends. Why you might ask. Well that was simple. He was supposed to save her. He realized that a long time ago. He was her hero, her guardian angel, and he betrayed her when he watched her die. When he watched her take her last ragged breath, that was when he realized that his life would never be the same again. He remembered that day like it was yesterday.
*Beginning of Flashback*
"Come on Nathan, what are you going to do?" Lucas screamed at his brother.
"I don't care! Haley's inside," Nathan screamed back, as he clambered to his feet and ran back toward the school.
Lucas shook his head. He knew that it wasn't a smart move, that it was a dumb decision. He knew that, but he couldn't sit there and do nothing as his brother risked his life for his wife. So he stood up and ran after him. He faintly heard Brooke yelling for him to come back, begging for him to come back. He just put her voice out of his mind as he continued on, and entered the school. It was dark, and scary looking. Straight out of a bad scary movie. It was an eerie kind of feeling, but Nathan needed him, Haley needed him. So he continued on. He caught a glance of Nathan ducking into the gym, so he followed quickly on his heels.
Once inside he saw that Nathan had headed toward the back, and knew where he was going. He made it just inside before Nathan let the door close, and knew that they were in danger.
"Come on Nate, what are you going to do? You've got a bat, and they've got a gun," he said simply.
"Doesn't matter man. Haley's in here, and I've gotta make sure she's okay," he said, letting his arm, holding the bat hang loosely at his side.
"Alright," Lucas said, grabbing a bat of his own, following Nathan out.
Continuing on their dangerous mission, and coming to the double doors. Lucas noticed that the glass was broken, and that there appeared to be a great deal of blood on the floor.
"Look, we need to find out whose blood that is," Lucas said, pointing to the pool of blood at his feet.
"You can, I've gotta find Haley," Nathan said simply.
Giving each other a look, and a quiet good luck. Nathan went one way, as Lucas followed the small trail of blood. He noticed that the further he walked, the smaller the trail got, as it stopped just in front of the library. Grabbing his bat firmly in his hand before slowly pushing open the door. Lucas was readying himself for the possibility of not only a fight, but a fight that could very easily lead to death. He was scared, that was a given, but he also felt the adrenalin pumping through-out his system as he let the door close quietly behind him. Continuing further into the library, with the bat now gripped firmly in both hands. He heard a faint whimper from the furthest set of book shelves. Taking a deep breath, and feeling ready for anything. He continued on, now having the bat raised above his head, ready to strike whatever was lurking behind the bookcase. He peered around the bookcase and felt as if every once of strength that he held in his body was immediately drained from him. Every ounce of strength was gone, with just one look at the piercing green eyes that sat just behind the book shelf.
Crumpled into a heap on the floor, a pool of her own blood surrounding her, sat Peyton Sawyer. A girl that he had at one time thought that he did, or could love. A girl that was mysterious, but at the same time he felt as if he knew her better than anyone else. At one time, she was the girl, his girl. Right now though, she was hurt, possibly dying and he felt powerless to help her.
"Hey," she said, her voice weak, as she coughed harshly, a small drop of blood falling onto her lips.
"Peyt…What..how---I've got to get you out of here," he said, falling down beside her, trying, wanting to get her up and out of this place.
"I can't walk Luke. He shot me," she said, for the briefest of seconds he saw the strong-willed girl that he knew, before she crumbled back into the girl scared, the one that was slowly bleeding to death. "I'm gonna die Luke. There's nothing you can do."
He looked at her, realizing that she had given up. Her skin was pale, and she looked deflated, and he realized that she hadn't just given up. That she was in-deed dying right in front of him. He knew he had to get her out.
"Peyton, please stay with me, please," he begged, as he threw her around around his neck, ready to pull her into his arms and carry her out of here.
"Lucas please. I don't want to die in front of anyone. Please, just leave me be. Just, let me die. It can't be worse than what I'm feeling-----right----now," she felt like she had just ran a marathon, when all she had said was a few short sentences.
Letting her head rest against the bookcase, he sat down beside her. Refusing to let her die alone.
"Please Peyton, let me save you," he begged one last time.
She grabbed his hand and lifted it to her lips, placing a kiss on it. The gesture meant to calm him, had only weakened her more.
"Luke--" she paused, as she coughed more violently, as more blood came up and dripped down onto her lips. "Your always saving me."
"Somebody's got to," was all he could say.
He had always been that guy for her. He always came running when she needed him. Alienating his girlfriend in the process, but that was okay, because he always kept her safe. Now, he felt as if he had failed Peyton. Like he had failed everyone as he watched her breathing become more labored. He knew she didn't have much time left, he knew that she was dying a slow death.
"Luke---I love you---come here," she said, her sentences chopped up by her increased need to breath.
He leaned forward, as she placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Tears flowed from his eyes, as he felt the life pouring out of her. He watched as she laid her head against the shelf behind her, took one last labored breath. That was it, she was gone. She loved him, she kissed him, and then she left him. It wasn't fair, life wasn't fair. He closed his eyes, as tears fell from them freely. For the first time in his life, he wished that they would never open again. It felt almost as if his life had no meaning left now that she was gone.
*End of Flashback*
Sitting now, in the peaceful quiet that was the river court, he thought back on and remembered how he failed everyone in his life so horribly. He was meant to protect her, to save her, but he watched as she died. Now he felt like his purpose in life, his meaning was gone. That purpose died with Peyton in the school library. It had been two weeks since that horrible day and he has yet to be able to step foot into that school, let alone the library. Only time would tell if he ever would. All he knew right now, was that if it weren't for that day, he never would have realized that his heart fully belonged to Peyton Sawyer. Now he'll never get his heart back, as it was taken, when she drew her last breath.
Grabbing the basketball he had brought with him, even if he had no will to actually play. He pulled it up, and shot it toward the rim and watched as it floated in. He shook his head, his plan being brought into motion as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket. Knowing that she wouldn't answer, he called Haley's number and waited for the beep before saying the few words he knew he needed to. He then sat his ball and note on the picnic table just off the court, and walked away. Soon enough he'd be with the one he loved, and his heart would never hurt again. A smile on his face, as he felt the full effect hit him harder and harder. His legs felt weak, as he slowly started to crumble to the ground. He heard a voice yelling as he saw his brother standing over him, begging him to hold on, as he slowly drifted unconscious.
Haley felt the tears prick her eyes, as she held the note firmly in her hand, as she slowly read it.
I have failed everyone, but mostly I have failed Peyton. I let her die, watched her take her last breath. Yet I did nothing to save her. For that, I deserve nothing more than death. Maybe then, the hole in my heart will heal over, and the pain will subside. Maybe then, I'll get to see her again. Hold her again, and tell her that my heart belongs to her. All I want right now is to be with her again. Please tell my mom that I'm sorry. I tried to be strong, and to hold on, I just can't deal with this pain anymore. I am sorry.
She closed her eyes, as she realized the song that he had scribbled beneath his note. It was the song he had been torturing himself with since she had died.
There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
would you think of me now,so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead in.
Hear you you me my friend.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
what would you think of me now,so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friend.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in
May angels lead you in.
if you were with me tonight, I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,god wouldn't let you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friend.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friend.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you angels lead you in.