Disclaimer: No I do not own Saiyuki. If I did, I'd be however rich Minekura Kazuya is, as famous as she is, and the Saiyuki boys would have many more scenes with their shirts off like that time when they were playing mahjong. : )

Summary: In which Gojyo finds out the way you do NOT make hot chocolate. Humour and some 58 fluff. : )

Warnings: Those of you who do not like reading fics with shounen-ai and above, as in malexmale relationships, I suggest you find yourself another fic. Or, you could just read it till the last couple paragraphs. : ) But then you'd just think Gojyo is a blithering idiot who can't make hot chocolate to save his life… Oh yeah, usual possible OOC warnings. But all OOCness for Hakkai can be explained away by sleep deprivation if needed. : ) And I'm 95 percent sure this is T rated, but it MIGHT be considered slightly higher. I'm not sure.

Yeah, so this is my first fic where I'll be attempting some fluff. 58 fluff to be exact. But since I've never written any kind of fluff before, it's combined with humour. Oh yeah, this takes place post-journey. Why? I was going to say, but after writing it out on paper I realized my author's notes were getting way too long. The fanfic author has her reasons. All you need to know. : ) And if you really want to know, email me, and I'll try and remember the reasons I came up with while half-asleep. Oh, and I have no idea if microwaves exist there, but they have electricity, cars, computers, credit cars, and takeout pizza, I don't think microwaves are too big of a stretch, do you? Oh yeah, and for all people who have read my other ficcie, Gojyo's hair is NOT purple. It's its normal red. : )

On with the ficcie!

Hot Chocolate

Gojyo blew through the door, in a hurry to get inside where there was heat goddamnit! The gambling pickings had been easy tonight, and he had stayed out later than he had meant to.

Fuck. Who knew summer nights could get this cold? Wait. It's nearly fall now. Urg. Why the hell didn't I bring a jacket? Oh yeah, because it was still warm when I left. And my foresight decided to take a hike and leave me behind in the dust.

Silently cursing his unfaithful foresight, Gojyo moved quietly through the small house until he was standing in front of the bedroom door. He opened it slightly, and poked his head into. A slight smile briefly crossed his face at the sight of Hakkai sleeping peacefully.

Wait. Shouldn't I be annoyed? He didn't wait up for me! Actually, what time is it anyway? I know there's a clock somewhere around- GAH!

GAH! is what happens in when you wander around the house in the middle of the night with the lights out looking for a clock. And now Gojyo had a nice big bruise in decorator colours adorning his shin.

OK, maybe it's time I stop pretending I have the night-vision of a cat and turn some lights on… Damn table.

Gojyo temporarily put to the side his Quest for the Clock, and took up the Quest for the Light-switch. And all it took to complete it was three more bruises added to his abused shin.

…How the HELL did I manage to hit the same shin every single time? Whatever, where's that damn clock?

That damn clock was back the way he had come.

Oh you have got to be kidding me. Three more bruises and the clock was only four frikken feet away?

A now grumbling Gojyo made his way back to the clock, managing to bang his already tenderized shin again, despite the helpful addition of light. Needless to say, he was getting just the teensiest bit fed up by the time he got to the clock. When he finally saw the time, all he could do was stare in disbelief for a moment.

…Well, shit. No wonder Hakkai didn't wait up. Maybe it's time I invested in a watch? Or something. Ah hell. I want some hot chocolate.

Gojyo blinked. That train of thought had taken an unexpected direction. But now that he had thought about it, he knew that if he didn't get some hot chocolate, it would bug him for the rest of the night. Sweet-tooth cravings were like that.

So Gojyo headed off to the kitchen, managing to not bump into anything this time. But upon entering the kitchen, he realized he had a dilemma. Some absolutely brilliant architect had decided to put the bedroom and the kitchen nearly side by side. The hot part of 'hot chocolate' required a microwave. The microwave had this annoying habit of beeping every time one of its buttons were pushed, and at the end beeping three long and loud times. Hakkai was a light sleeper.

Gojyo cursed under his breath. He was already feeling a bit guilty for coming back so late, and didn't want to add to that guilt by waking the other man.

OK, what are my other alternatives…Maybe just plain old chocolate milk? The stuff we have is only meant for hot chocolate, so it might be a little harder to stir into the milk, but it should work.

So, with his decision made, Gojyo went hunting through the cupboards for the powdered mix that would give him access to a little piece of Chocolate Heaven. Even if it was cold.

After a few minutes of searching, a small frown developed on his face. The mix was not where it was supposed to be. Which was odd, as Hakkai was the one who organized the cupboards. By definition, that should mean the mix would be easy to find. Unless Hakkai had changed his organizing system, and had neglected to mention where the hot chocolate mix had been moved to.

With that thought, Gojyo checked all the cupboards, but to no avail. If there even was mix anymore, it remained stubbornly hidden.

Making one last check in the main cupboard, Gojyo's eyes fell on the cocoa.

…Would cocoa work instead of the mix if I added enough sugar? I've used it for hot chocolate when we ran out of mix before. Though I guess that would technically be hot cocoa, not hot chocolate. Wait, how well does cocoa stir into milk? Ah it shouldn't matter, if some of it doesn't sink I'll just do that thing I did with the mix that one time, and dunk it under the milk with the spoon and flatten against the edges. That should work.

So Gojyo got out the cocoa, and grabbed himself a mug, a spoon, sugar, and the milk on the way over to the counter.

Ok, how much cocoa should I actually put in…Well with the mix I usually put in four smallish spoonfuls. Anything less never seems sweet enough for some reason. Ok, so I'll just do the same thing here, then add sugar till it's sweet enough.

So four smallish spoonfuls of cocoa went into the milk, and was followed shortly by a steady-stream of sugar that cut off when Gojyo guess-timated there was enough. Then the stirring began.

It didn't take long for Gojyo to realize that despite vigorous stirring, there seemed to be a lot more cocoa floating on the surface of the milk, than dissolved in the milk itself. And the tried and true, Dunk and Smush Technique didn't seem to be working at all. At that point, Gojyo started up a steady stream of cursing under his breath.

After awhile, he grew tired of watching the spoon go 'round and 'round in the cup trying to mix the stubborn cocoa in, and his gaze wandered to where there was yet another clock that he had missed on his earlier hunt.

Gojyo nearly dropped the spoon in shock when he realized what he was seeing.

Holy shit! I've been standing here stirring this damn thing for over ten minutes already, and it hasn't mixed in at ALL?…Maybe pouring more milk on it will make it dissolve faster?…

Pouring more milk on the cocoa did not help it to dissolve faster. And with the extra milk, more and more of the sloppy mixture was getting stirred right out of the cup and onto the counter. Add that to the cocoa that had not quite made it from the can to the mug, and you get a recipe for One Messy Counter.

Finally Gojyo gave up stirring and just stared at the mess that was supposed to be a chocolaty-drink-of-delight in disgusted annoyance.

OK, maybe more has dissolved than it looks. I'll taste it, and if it's ok, I can live with a few lumps.

So he took a sip. And nearly spat the sip back out. "Fuck. I'd forgotten what unsweetened cocoa tastes like." he muttered.

OK, there was definitely more cocoa than milk in that. There's no way I'm drinking it like this! Gleah.

"Screw this. I'm not going to let all that milk go to waste. Maybe I can still save it if I microwave it now." he said, still muttering.

And with a silent prayer to whoever was listening (and gave a damn) that Hakkai wouldn't wake up, Gojyo popped the mug in the microwave and started it up.

He winced. With the rest of the house so quiet, the beeping and whirring of the microwave seemed ten times louder than normal.

One minute and forty-five seconds later, the three loud beeps signaled the readiness of the milk/cocoa mess.

Gojyo retrieved the mug from the microwave and looked at the contents, to try and judge how much more stirring would be necessary. What he saw put all thoughts of stirring out of his mind.

…Ok then. This is new. This is definitely new.

What was new was that the cocoa on the top had combined with the milk in a way that could have been expected, if a little bit of thought had been put into it. It looked like someone had tried to bake a cake in a mug, and then had taken it out of the oven before it was quite ready.

…So…what to do now…

"There is a cake in my mug. OK, maybe this stuff will dissolve into the milk when stirred?" Gojyo would have to work on that habit of muttering to himself one day.

And lo and behold, it did! Gojyo grinned in triumph and took a big swallow. Unfortunately, he lost the grin after he was reminded why he preferred hot chocolate over hot cocoa. And when he discovered the results of putting cocoa in before microwaving.

Ok, I know cocoa always seems to have that gritty texture, but it was never this bad! And the chocolate part tastes… weird.

"Cocoa must not like being bombarded with micro waves. And I think I put too much cocoa in too. Gleah. Last time I do that again. No sirree, one funny-tasting mug of this is MORE than enough." Gojyo glared at the mug and its contents, before downing it all in one long swallow. Well, nearly all. The liquid at the bottom was more cocoa than milk, so he poured it down the drain. You can only follow the way of Waste Not, Want Not so far before it just becomes ridiculous. Not to mention permanently taste bud damaging.

Finished, Gojyo's eyes turned to the spectacular mess left on the counter.

…Crap. I have to clean this up, don't I? I really need to work on my spoon stirring techniques…

After finally somehow managing to clean everything up, and turn all the lights off without hitting his shin again, Gojyo nearly stumbled through the bedroom door.

Damn it. I though sugar was supposed to wake you UP, not put you OUT.

Gojyo blearily changed into his PJs, at the last minute leaving the shirt part off. The miserable substitute for hot chocolate had done one good thing at least. It had completely warmed him up.

While climbing into the big, inviting bed, he muttered softly, "That's the last time I use cocoa. No thank you sir, not only does the mixed stuff taste better, it's much, much simpler."

The only warning Gojyo had was the arm snaking across his chest (keeping him effectively pinned), before hungry lips were on his, tongue seeking access. Gojyo was not one to deny it access.

After a bit of this, Hakkai broke the contact with a satisfied sigh. He licked his lips and considered. "You're right. Hot chocolate does taste better."

A surprised Gojyo blinked and asked, "Hakkai? How long have you been awake?"

"Since the first time you crashed into the table." Hakkai rolled over so he was facing away from Gojyo. "And if you come in that late and wake me up again, there will be most unpleasant consequences."

Gojyo just grinned and wrapped his arms around the other man. "And I love you too."

"Sleep now." but Hakkai smiled.

Author's notes:

Yeah, more author's notes. I put the rest here, because they make more sense after reading the fic.

Fun fact: This fic was inspired by an utterly disastrous counter I had with hot chocolate. And in case you're wondering, everything that happened with Gojyo's hot chocolate happened to mine. The cake in the mug IS possible. That day was NOT my proudest of moments…

Fun fact number 2: When I first thought to make this into a fic, I immediately thought 39! before I realized I had no idea how to make a fluffy 39 and keep Sanzo in character. So YAY 58!

Fun fact number 3: It took me 20 minutes to get those 2 sentences of physical fluff down. I had the words in my head, but they wouldn't go down on paper. And I thought I had finally gotten rid of that annoying mental block towards physical fluff. Oh well, they're down now, the block can't hold out for much longer. : )

Fun fact number 4: I had originally planned for Gojyo to be walking' around shirtless for the whole fic, but then I realized I couldn't make it work. Hence him leaving off the PJ shirt. : ) Ah the shirtless Gojyo… Half the reason I watched 'Requiem'…

And as of now, the update for 'Why Mornings Are Evil' is September 10. Sorry for how slow it's going!

-very small edit- I just realized today when I actually read this fic over for the first time since I put it up, that I wrote a sentence twice in a row, and made one other mini-error in the fic, and another mini-error in my author's notes, so I fixed them. YAY for proofreading!... So yeah... Apologies to all those who caught the errors, winced, but were too nice to call attention to the author's stupidity. Or who knows, maybe everyone was so dazzled by the rest, they just decided to let it slip?... Or not. Let's just go with everyone being so nice and polite, yes?