PERSEUS JACKSON: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! For some reason, you have just purchased your very own PERSEUS JACKSON unit! This manual was made in order for you, the owner, to understand how to extract the very best of your unit. And believe us, you will need this manual. A lot.
Technical Specifications:
Name: Perseus Jackson. Will respond to "Percy", "Jackson", and angrily to "seaweed brain" (unless you are an ANNABETH CHASE unit.
Age: 16
Place of Manufacture: New York City, USA
Height: 5'10
Weight: 166 lbs
Your PERSEUS JACKSON unit comes with the following:
One (1) camp halfblood tee shirt
One (1) set of Greek armor
One (1) leather necklace
One (1) cleverly enchanted sword
Two (2) pairs of khaki shorts
Four (4) golden drachmas
Programming
Your PERSEUS JACKSON unit is equipped with the following traits:
Male Model: In need of cash? No problem! While it may take some convincing, you're unit makes an excellent model. With those lovely features, he's sure to be on the front cover almost every time!
Fighting instructor: Always wanted to learn how to swing around a sword at your enemies? If you can take the grueling physical training, we guarantee that you'll soon become the professional fighter you always wished you could be!
Babysitter: You could never tell by looking at him, but he's great with children! Just don't let him tell any stories about the Greek Gods, as he won't edit out the gory parts (and we, the creators of this unit, are not responsible for any mental trauma).
Bodyguard: Having a hard time at school? Feel threatened by the neighbor's quarterback son? It's all in the past! This unit can't stand bullies, and he'll always stick up for you in a pinch.
Cowboy: Being the son of the god that created horses, he had the awesome power of communicating with them telepathically. All he needs is a lasso and a hat, and YE-HAW! Everyone else at the rodeo will be jealous.
Removal of your PERSEUS JACKSON from Packaging
While this unit is usually very easy going, we can all have hard mornings. For the sake of avoiding a punch in the gut, we have provided a list of safe ways in which you can awaken your unit:
1. Stand next to the box, preferably prepared to block flying box lids, and say something along the lines of "Hey, is that Luke asking Annabeth on a date?" Your unit will bust out of the box, sword drawn and shouting something about "getting that creep away from my girlfriend!" When he realizes that you are not a LUKE CASTELLEN unit, he will sheepishly apologize for the mess and allow you to reprogram him.
2. Bake some pancakes/waffles and use plenty of blue food dye. Place it nearby the box, and you will hear your unit groggily calling out for a SALLY JACKSON unit to feed him breakfast. You may now remove the top. After he is finished eating, you may reprogram him directly.
3. Place any type of seafood nearby, and use an electric fan to waft the smell toward the box. He will instantly start shouting protests, and possibly profanities. It's safe to open the box, but it will take him awhile to cool down. Try to reprogram him while he complains.
4. Shout "seaweed brain!" as loud as you can. Your unit will break out in search of an ANNABETH CHASE unit. While he will be disappointed if there isn't one nearby, he will allow you to reprogram him anyways. As long as he doesn't have to clean up.
Reprogramming
Upon waking your PERSEUS JACKSON, or calming him down again, you will have the option to reprogram him from his normal modes.
Demigod (default)
Easy going (default)
Sarcastic
Strategic
Angry (locked)
Depressed (locked)
The PERSEUS JACKSON comes in his default Demigod and Easy-going mode, which unfortunately have Dopey, ADHD, and Dyslexia software. He will have a difficult time sitting still, and an even harder time reading in anything that isn't Greek. If he says something stupid and obvious, or squirms a lot, then do not be annoyed; this is a sign of his default modes. He is also known to have invulnerability. This is a result of his Achilles curse
The Angry mode is unfortunately simple to gain: annoy him, insult his friends of family, eat fish. Your PERSEUS JACKSON is only a teenager, after all. Though, as mentioned above, he has the Achilles curse. This makes it a horrible, horrible idea to anger him, especially if his sword is it reach. We, the creators of this unit, are not responsible for any bodily harm inflicted upon you, for whatever reason.
The Depressed mode is much harder to unlock. If you remind him about the fates of several fellow demigods (ex: CHARLES BECKENDORF, BIANCA DI ANGELO, LEE FLETCHER) he will remain quiet and broody for hours. The same results if an ANNABETH CHASE unit dumps him/starts dating a LUKE CASTELLEN unit.
Relationships with Other Units
ANABETH CHASE: Your unit is dating ANABETH CHASE, and they therefore have a great relationship. When bored, your unit is known to go off in search of an ANNABETH CHASE unit, and when he's happy he often speaks about their adventures together; he really is crazy about her.
GROVER UNDERWOOD: These two units are the best of friends. They are very happy when together, and love to goof off. It's suggested to keep them near each other to keep them happy. Also, remember not to make food using meat while he's over, lest you want to see GROVER UNDERWOOD in Eco-maniac mode.
NICO DI ANGELO: This is your unit's cousin, and they have a strong friendship. Keep them apart if this unit enters Heartbroken mode, unless you enjoy epic swordfights.
RACHEL DARE: PERSEUS JACKSON is friends with this unit, so it isn't all that surprising when she drags him off to see an art show or help the needy. Your unit will become very serious if RACHEL DARE enters Oracle mode.
SALLY JACKSON: Your unit's mother. He adores her, and she adores him. They always get along great, and it is perfectly safe to leave them alone for long periods of time.
LUKE CASTELLEN: Your unit has forgiven LUKE CASTELLEN for his the whole 'raising Kronos' thing. They will get along fine, albeit awkwardly, unless the LUKE CASTELLEN unit has romantic intentions toward an ANNABETH CHASE unit. This will cause many epic swordfights.
Cleaning
Your unit is fully capable of cleaning himself. No worries in that department.
Feeding
PERSEUS JACKSON is a teenage boy, and hence doesn't know how to cook anything but cereal. It is best not to feed him seafood, however, unless you want him in Angry mode.
Rest
Your unit loves to sleep! Problem is, he really needs it. Due to his curse, your unit will probably go to bed earlier than most teenagers, or he'll just sleep in a lot.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: My PERSEUS JACKSON unit is refusing to wake up! How can I stop this?
A: He is probably still tired. Invulnerability is taxing on the body, you know. Either make him go to bed at eight, or stop waking him up early.
Q: My PERSEUS JACKSON lost his necklace, and now he's tearing apart my house to find it!
A: The necklace is very precious to this unit, as it holds many memories. You can call Customer Services and request a new necklace, or try to locate the original. If there is a GROVER UNDERWOOD unit nearby, try to have him calm your unit down.
Q: My unit has a weird grey stripe in his hair. Why?
A: Not that far in the series, huh? That's not a problem. The stripe is meant to be there, from the time he held up the sky. ANNABETH CHASE has a similar one.
Troubleshooting
Problem: Your PERSEUS JACKSON unit is, for some reason, now only sitting at your table and being solemn, and looks ready to stab you.
Solution: Oh boy, you have unlocked your unit's War mode. This is unlocked by either showing him one too many documentaries on war, reminding him of any dead friends, or telling him Kronos is back. He can be reverted to his normal mode by having a SALLY JACKSON cook him something. Be warned - if you leave your unit in this mode for too long, and he meets either a LUKE CASTELLEN or EVEN NAKAMURA he might attack them violently.
Problem: Your unit keeps jetting everyone's name wrong, but is otherwise exactly the way he should be.
Solution: Oops! We sent you a PETER JOHNSON unit on accident. If the name thing is too annoying to bear, call Customer Services an we'll fix it.
Problem: The PERSEUS JACKSON you received is tiny, and he doesn't know anything about the gods.
Solution: We've sent you a LITTLE!PERCY on accident. He is at this point unaware of his godly heritage, and often calls out for his mother, SALLY JACKSON. If you don't want him, call Customer Services and we'll sort it out.
End Notes
With the proper treatment and enough sleep, your PERSEUS JACKSON unit will be a valuable companion. We hope you enjoy your time with him, and good luck!
I don't own PJO. Sadly.