Shame

A/N: This is based off of the spoilers for next week that say that Maxie is ashamed to face Spinelli after her testimony in court.

Maxie Jones rushed out of the courtroom as soon as she was done testifying. She didn't want to face Spinelli at the moment. She felt ashamed that he had to hear every sordid detail of her past,a past he already knew of,of course but was somehow different for him to hear now. Perhaps it was because he heard it from her and not from LuLu or anyone else. The fact that Scott Baldwin had made her go into details certainly didn't help either. With a sob,stuck in her throat she went to the hospital to visit Robin.

Robin was at the front desk of the nurses' station when Maxie stumbled in. Robin immediatly rushed over to her cousin,wondering what was the matter. "Maxie? What's wrong,sweetie?" She asked,wrapping her arm around her young cousin's waist and leading her to the sofa.

Maxie twisted her fingers nervously,as she fell onto the sofa. "I...had to testify in court today and Scott Baldwin made me mention everything I did in the past. Spinelli was there and he heard everything,Robin. He had to hear all about my affair with Lucky and how I gave him pills,all about the bet I made with Logan...I mean,I know Spinelli already knew all this but it's different now. Last year,Spinelli and I weren't friends so back then,I could care less what he thought about me. Now we are friends and his opinion of me means so much. I just really don't want him to see me as The Bad Blond One,again." She rambled out,barely letting out a breath.

Robin looked a her cousin questioningly. "Do you honestly think Spinelli would let your past change his opinion of you? Like you said,he already knows. He seems to care about you,despite it all. Spinelli isn't a judgemental person." She honestly couldn't understand why Maxie thought Spinelli's perception of her would change. It was pretty obvious Spinelli was in love with her.

Maxie shrugged her shoulders,swallowing hard as the tears she could no longer control spilled down her cheeks. She honestly couldn't help it. She feared that at any given moment,Spinelli would get a clue and realize what a disaster she was and leave her life just like others had. She was surprised it hadn't already occured,especially after she slept with him and then made him believe that she thought it was a mistake. She had been surprised that he hadn't gotten mad at her for using him in such a way,surprised that it hadn't ruined their friendship.

Robin's brown eyes narrowed suspicously as she rubbed her hand over her stomach. What was it that Maxie wasn't telling her? She wondered,tilting her head slightly to the side and looking at the petite blond's profile. "Maxie,did something happen between you and Spinelli?" She asked lightly,resting a hand on her cousin's shoulder.

Maxie sighed heavily,covering her face with her hands,not saying anything at all.

Robin raised an eyebrow and pried Maxie's hands away from her face. "Maxie?"

Finally, Maxie looked at Robin. "I...just...I used him." She stuttered,lowering her head ashamed,not really wanting to go into details.

Robin looked at Maxie with her mouth open in surprise. "Used him? Are you saying you two had sex?" She hissed,incredicously. Maxie had told her she cared about Spinelli to much to do that. What had changed?

Maxie nodded miserably,looking down at her black and white designer shoes. "And I felt so guilty for using him,that I told him that it was a mistake. And in court today,Scott said that I was a user and a liar, and that I shouldn't be trusted. But you have gotta believe me Robin,when I say that Spinelli is someone I don't want to hurt." She said urgently.

Before Robin could say anything,she was called on the intercom to see a patient. Smiling and giving her cousin a reassuring hug she said , "You go back to the penthouse and talk to Spinelli,I promise you that he hasn't changed his mind about you. If you want,we can talk later about what happened with Spinelli. But right now,you should talk to him."

With that she left Maxie sitting on the couch and went of to see her patient,hoping things would work out.