HIS REY OF LIGHT
Kylo Ren had been at it all night. Trying to empty himself of this feeling as he emptied his balls.
The little scavenger.
She filled his mind. From the first moment he saw her on Takodana, he had been drawn to her with an intensity he'd never before felt. It thrilled him.
So strong.
So angry.
So beautiful.
….
Her fury when she awoke in the interrogation room left him bemused behind his mask.
Doesn't she realize I have saved her?
He had felt it as soon as he entered the forest in search of her and the droid. The girl was the Awakened One. She was the change he and his Master had felt in the Force.
And now he'd freed her from those unworthies who would contain her true self. Those who would try to make her accept the feebleness of the Light. Those who would abandon and disappoint her. He quickly pushed away the unwanted image of Han Solo and Leia Organa that arose. Kylo had brought her where she could learn. With his help, she'd grow in power. Understand the only path worthy of her gifts.
And then, he removed his helmet and Rey saw his true face. Her eyes filled with confusion…and something more.
Kylo's heart jumped a little in his chest at that look.
Does she like what she sees? Does she think me handsome?
His need to know left him feeling off balance.
When she entered his mind, seeing his deepest weakness, he was stunned. How could an untrained wisp of a girl best him, Kylo Ren, apprentice to the Supreme Leader himself? Best the leader of the Knights of Ren? Now that had shaken him to his core.
And yet….
No. He needed to get away from her. Gathering his composure, he strode out into the corridor. He made his way back to his quarters unable to shake himself free of it, half unsettled and half aroused. He started to shed his clothes the minute the door shut behind him. Ren's hand closed around his already erect cock and he thought only of the fiery young woman as he stroked himself to climax.
…...
That was the first time it happened.
It had happened every time since.
…..
The towering young man drew his hand through his black locks as he strode back and forth across the room. He was in turmoil. There could be no denying Snoke would sense this. Smell the stench of Ren's weakness. See the truth of it all.
He had tried to settle his mind by imploring his Grandfather's spirit for guidance, but to no avail. He stopped his pacing and sat on the edge of his bed, steeling himself.
I will master this! I will be in control.
His hand went down to his groin and began its rhythmic movement once again.
It is physical lust. She means nothing. She is nothing.
Kylo imagined her in a shower. She probably needed one about now.
I bet she'd like that. All that water after a life on Jakku. Rey would be really pleased if I let her have a nice long shower…
"Fuck."
His frustration echoed through his sparsely decorated chamber.
Concentrate, damn it! The girl is just a body like any other female I have used. A body for my pleasure.
He narrowed his mental picture to just one of her breasts. The water sluiced down and he pictured a drop tantalizingly suspended over the end of her nipple, threatening to drop. In his mind, he saw himself rescuing it with his tongue.
Kylo's hand moved faster along his length. It was certainly pleasurable, but this route of breaking her into simple body parts in his head wasn't enough. It was never enough. But he had to find a way.
Shifting focus, he imagined her lips closing around his shaft, the tip of her tongue flicking the head teasingly, the wet warmth of her mouth and….
"Shit."
Kylo instantly recognized his mistake. Lips and mouth and tongue added up to face. Rey's face.
As if with a will of its own, his fantasy moved from just her breast back to the whole. She was still in the shower, partly turned to him. She was wearing a captivating half-smile. The steam from the hot water made her dark hair curl around her face in loose tendrils and her cheeks were flushed from the heat. His pulse quickened.
No, he thought desperately. Not again.
But he couldn't stop it.
Her arm rose out towards him, beckoning, as she called to him.
"Ben." Rey's eyes were filled with a look of love and desire. "My Ben."
In that moment, the man who was once Ben Solo knew the battle was lost. He whispered her name to his empty room.
"Rey."
His breath grew ragged and he came with a burst of such intense pleasure it left him gasping for air. Joy filled every cell of his being.
The Light entered him as it had done each time before, filling him almost completely, pushing down the Dark that Ren had worked so hard to cultivate. It was useless. No matter what he tried, it always ended the same.
Is this love?
"No." Kylo sounded guttural, like a wounded animal.
He stilled his body and fought to gain control of his breathing.
"No." he repeated, his voice now steadier and firm.
As he had done each time before, Ren searched himself for that speck of Dark that had survived this disturbing onslaught. Finding it, he willed it to grow, driving the Light out before it. All the Light except for that small bit that forever tormented him. That seemed beyond his power.
He stretched his long form down the bed and closed his eyes, willing sleep to come, banishing thoughts of her. A new day was fast approaching and with it an audience with the Supreme Leader. How did he hide this failing from his Master? And that ginger-haired bastard Hux was always looking for some weakness in the Dark apprentice he could exploit to his advantage.
Kylo Ren wondered, not for the first time, if his little scavenger would prove his undoing.