Chapter 1: Entrance Exams
I had always wondered when I was a kid: why do tests drive students insane? "They're quite easy, why make such a big fuss out of it?" I used to ask my 5-year old self. All I knew were ABC's and 123's, so please don't blame me folks. I never knew the answer to this question until I took the entrance examination for the prestigious Kunugigaoka Junior High.
Examinations back then were as easy as playing hopscotch and beating my best friend, Suji Erezawa. Best friend eh… well he used to be. But they moved to Nagoya and we never kept in touch because I never had a phone. My Aunt Chiyoko did, but she never let me use it because I was too "young". I might destroy it. Well, so big of her to make her 2-yr old son, Kenji Shimada, use it to play games in it quite stupidly because the only thing he ever did was tap on its keypads and lose the freaking game.
Oh and yes, I lived with my aunt and not my parents. Why? Simple. I never knew them. My aunt never mentioned them, and whenever I asked, she always went loco. She'd go ridiculously berserk and destroy anything on her way like a madwoman and then point her finger at me whenever her husband, Uncle Aiko, asked what the heck happened because of the presence of shattered glass and ceramics. And that, my friends, would earn me a good hit on the neck from my uncle.
My childhood wasn't filled with butterflies and marshmallows and chocolate-stained shirt and laughing in the sun. You see, Aunt Chiyoko, her name meant "a child of a thousand generations" and Uncle Aiko's meant "glorious man". Tch. Yeah, right. Aunt showed me thousands of generations of hellish madness and Uncle gave me his glorious punches and slaps. So much for having names with deep meanings.
Kenji, on the other hand, grew up different from his parents. He really played well as my good little otouto. He's my little ball of sunshine. He was my hope when I thought humanity was gone. He was my reason to live and he still is. Kenji would always protect me from his parents but they wouldn't listen to him. I told him it was okay because I didn't want him to be involved to such hideous acts but he would still continue to defend me.
"No, sweetie, your onee-chan right here is really getting on your oka-san's nerves. She just needs to get a taste of her own medicine," Aunt Chiyoko would say to her son. Her husband would then agree.
"But onee-chan's a good person, oka-san! But you're being bad to her," Kenji would wail.
And then Uncle Aiko would lock him up and beat me into a pulp.
And when they already seemed satisfied with my black-and-blue covered skin, I would rush into my small bedroom and no, I won't cry but instead I would write. And write. And write. And write about why it didn't hurt but it left a scar. I was numb but my heart ached at the thought that I would never know oka-san and otou-san.
"this house is not a home
and it will never be a home
because my aunt is not oka-san
and my uncle is not otou-san
and they will never be my family"
I grew up loving words. Kenji was a poem because he saved me. Even though my life was black and white, my mind was colored with orange and gold and blue. I was filled with the reflection and refraction and dispersion of light, all because of words and Kenji. Maybe I was wrong when I was a little child, because the house felt like home with my sweet, little otouto.
"I thought I was gray
Little did I know
That I had a spectra
Of different colors
Of different shades
Residing within me"
This entrance exam was a battlefield and all these questions are grotesque monsters. Should I ask the proctor why on earth was I taking an exam for first year college students? This school was called Kunugigaoka JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL for a reason! Why would they give us such a high-level exam? If this was a videogame, I'd be a freaking noob.
I reread the questions thoroughly because I never actually analyzed them carefully. All I did for the past 30 minutes was complain inside my head and think about my ugly past.
But now that I had reread them…
These questions weren't monsters! These questions were for babies! I tried to answer them all in a very scrupulous manner. I was like in a battlefield warring with insects with a roach killer in my hand. But I only had one can and there were gazillions of insects around me! So I exterminated these creepy crawlers one by one and I finally killed a quarter of them! But the can was almost empty (15 minutes left) and there were still three-fourths (150 questions) of them remaining! Darn it! Why did I spend so much time complaining in the past few minutes anyway? Uh… never mind. I'm just going to finish the questions that I can finish. It's not like I was expecting to pass anyway. This is a prestigious school, and a prestigious school is not for an ordinary girl with a bitter past like me.
Time was up and I barely even finished half of the questions. Great job, Mika! Way to go! I handed my test paper in and I walked straight home to find Kenji on the front gates asking how did the exams go. I just looked at him and smiled and told him that it was okay even if it wasn't. I wasted all of my energy. We went inside the house and I made lunch for me, Kenji, Aunt Chiyoko and Uncle Aiko.
"I want to eat lunch with you mika nee-chan! You always eat alone!"
I grinned at him and told him that it was okay because his nee-chan was used to it. He should eat lunch with his parents because it would make them mad if he didn't.
"But nee-chan is lonely when she eats all by herself! She should eat with her cute otouto!"
It made me chuckle that he'd do it for me. All of my tiredness seemed to be washed away because of my brother's kindness. Indeed, he has a heart bigger than himself. I sat with him on the table and we both said in unison, "Itadakimasu!"