Detention Mayhem
Remus Lupin was mad, no, he was livid. He had just been outsmarted by his friends James Potter and Sirius Black and it had resulted in him serving a detention with McGonagall. The detention was given to him by McGonagall, who had punished him for a prank that was intended for his fellow Marauders and had made her look like a duck.
He ran a hand through his sandy colored hair and thought long and hard about how he could exact his revenge on the two boys that had turned his own prank against him. His detention was to be held that night in McGonagall's office and by some complete miracle, Sirius and James also had to serve a detention that night. Remus saw this as a perfect opportunity for his payback prank.
It had to be something completely unexpected so the kings of prank planning wouldn't catch on like they did last time. The teenage werewolf sat alone in the common room planning and waiting patiently for the detention that night.
At about 8 o'clock, Remus headed down to McGonagall's office alongside James and Sirius who were giving him a hard time. "I can't believe you thought you would get us with that Moony," said James through fits of laughter. "I mean it was pretty obvious you were up to something."
Remus wore a disgruntled expression as Sirius continued the banter."Yeah Moony, you know me and Prongsie are always on to your ickle tricks," said Sirius in a cooing voice one would use while talking to a baby.
"You know Padfoot, the more you make fun of me, the less desire I have to take notes for you," Remus said with a slight smirk. This seemed to worry the other boy because he was looking at James as if wondering if he would provide notes as good as Remus'.
Sirius turned back to Remus and gave him a weak smile. "You know I love you, don't you?" he said, hoping he wouldn't have to start taking his own notes.
After a moment of thought Remus answered," Well I guess I can keep taking your notes for you." Sirius left out a sigh of relief. Remus continued down the hall while the other two lagged behind.
"Why can't you have better handwriting," asked Sirius narrowing his eyes at James.
James replied with a smirk, "Why can't you take your own notes?"
Sirius wore a forlorn expression. "You know why James." James stopped at this. It wasn't everyday he was called James by his best friend. Usually it was Prongs, Prongsie, or Lover-Boy. He looked at his friend with an exasperated expression.
"Sirius, just because I no longer want to plan pranks every minute of every day doesn't mean I'm never going to again," he said while receiving a "whatever" look from Sirius. "I'm just trying to act my part as Head Boy."
"More like your trying to win over Evans with the whole "mature" act, it's not going to work mate. I have to plan everything by myself these days. That, James, is why I don't take my own notes" James opened his mouth to retaliate but Sirius cut him off. "We'll finish this later, looks like Moony is in a big hurry to get to detention," he said, nodding his head towards a quick-moving Remus.
James looked as if he wanted to continue the discussion but replied," Yeah, lets catch up to him." The two boys sped up a little and came into stride with Remus.
Remus noticed his friends had come back up to join him. He turned to James and asked," Incidentally, how does the Head Boy land himself in detention?"
James expression changed to a downcast aggravated one. He only uttered one word," Evans." The others nodded. It was common knowledge that most of James' detentions were a result of an argument with Lily. They continued down the hall and made the last turn before McGonagall's office.
"So is it safe to assume that Miss Lily will be joining us this evening?" questioned Remus. He was a little nervous that if she was, it would negatively effect his plans. So he waited with bated breath for James' reply.
James glanced at Remus and gave him an angry reply," Yes, unfortunately." The mere mention of Lily being there that night seemed to make him mad. Sirius and Remus exchanged confused looks. It was very uncommon for James to think him and Lily being near each other was unfortunate.
"Bad argument mate?" asked a concerned Remus. Sirius still wasn't happy with James, but he still looked concerned. The two boys waited for their bespectled friend to reply.
James gave an exasperated sigh and replied, "I'm just starting to wonder if she's worth all the time I've wasted chasing after her." He continued forward looking blankly down the hallway deep in thought."And yes, it was a bad argument."
Sirius and Remus looked at each other. They didn't really know how to respond to James' statement so they just walked awkwardly down the hallway. Eventually Remus said, "You can't give up mate, she'll come around eventually." Remus patted James on the back encouragingly.
James smiled at the werewolf and said, "Thanks Moony."
"What about you Padfoot, how did you get detention?"
Sirius squinted his eyes as if trying to remember something. "Honestly, I have no idea. McGonagall just came up to me today and reminded me that I had a detention. I get so many that I didn't bother questioning it."
The two boys gawked at their friend. They knew their friend was absent-minded and got into a lot of trouble. But the fact that he couldn't remember why he had detention baffled them.
The trio came to the end of the hall and had finally reached their destination. Outside the door to McGonagall's office was Lily, knocking on the door. She noticed the boys that had come behind her and turned to greet them. "Hello Remus," she said giving him a smile. She looked over to Sirius and James and frowned, "Black, Potter."
Remus replied awkwardly, "Hello Lily." The other two replied with, "Evans." James, Sirius, and Lily were all glaring at one another with a nervous Remus in between. The office door banged open and Professor McGonagall walked outside, ending the staring contest.
The strict Transfiguration teacher looked sternly at all of them. "I am disappointed in all of you, especially you two," she said shooting a glare towards Lily and James. "As Head Boy and Girl, it is your duty to set an example for the rest of the school. Not bickering in the hallway like little children."
Lily and James both looked down at the floor in shame. "Sorry professor," they said in unison. McGonagall looked at the two of them and seemed satisfied with their response.
She waved the quartet into her office and began to explain their duties for the evening. "You will be scrubbing the floor of my office tonight," she said gesturing towards four sets of buckets and sponges. "Since there is of course no magic allowed, I will be taking your wands."
One by one they handed their wands to the Deputy Headmistress, Sirius being the last. After giving his professor the wand, Sirius said, "Minnie this came up on the way here." McGonagall narrowed her eyes at the boy for calling her by that ridiculous nickname.
Not at all bothered by her animosity Sirius continued, "I was just wondering what misdemeanor I had the audacity to perform." The black-haired boy waited for her answer.
The other occupants of the room were slightly dazed by the fact that he had used words like misdemeanor and audacity. After recovering from the initial shock, McGonagall replied, "Mr. Black, I think you will recall the incident of letting off dungboms in the Great Hall yesterday afternoon."
Sirius looked slightly confused. "Are you sure, Minnie?"
With another glare she replied, "Yes, Black, I'm quite sure. Why is it so hard for you to believe?"
"Well, I just can't believe I'd do that. I mean it is so amateur. I think that I would at least have implemented some other trick into my plan." His fellow Marauders chuckled while Lily gave her usual eye roll.
McGonagall didn't look amused. "Whether you like it or not it happened Black, so just drop it." Sirius shrugged his shoulders and walked over to join the others. After looking at them all one last time she said, "When I return I expect this place to be spotless." With that she turned and left the room.
Soon after their professor left, they started getting to work. Remus snuck over to McGonagall's desk and placed a book about Quidditch that he had earlier charmed, thus implementing stage one of his revenge. Checking to make sure the others didn't see him; he noticed Lily and James arguing in hushed tones.
Straining his ears to hear, Remus caught what they were arguing about. "-isn't any of your business Potter," Lily muttered angrily. "I can date whomever I want, even if they do turn out to be gits. Either way, stay out of my life." Lily picked up her bucket and moved to the opposite side of the room, away from a hurt James.
Remus sighed, feeling bad for planning a prank on his friend while he was going through a tough time. He turned and looked at the book deciding that he would get revenge another time. As he reached out to take it, something wet hit him in the back of the head.
The angry boy turned to see a smirking Sirius standing by his bucket spongeless. With a growl, Remus hefted his soggy sponge at Sirius. The smirk instantly left the other boys face as the sponge hit him full in the face.
While wiping the water off his face Sirius exclaimed, "This means war, Moony!" He picked up his bucket and tossed the contents onto Remus.
The werewolf retaliated by tossing the water out of his bucket towards his friend. They continued their battle while James went over to Lily.
James stopped behind Lily and said, "Lily I want to settle something between us."
The redhead stood up and looked him right in the eyes. "I'm listening."
The messy haired boy tried to find the words he was going to say while Lily waited, to James' surprise, patiently. "I wanted to say I'm sorry for prying into your business, and that it isn't up to me who you do or don't date." He looked into her green eyes and awaited her reply.
She looked at him and smiled. "Congratulations, James," James jaw dropped. She had just called him James. "You've finally grown up." Lily reached up to him and kissed him.
Not believing what was going on, James took a second to respond. The soaking wet Remus and Sirius stared at the kissing couple, mouths wide open.
"Where the bloody hell did that come from?" Sirius asked no one in particular. He turned to Remus as if expecting him to know what was going on.
Remus looked just as confused and replied to his friends question, "No idea, mate. Your guess is as good as mine." The two boys watched as their detention-mates continued kissing.
Eventually Sirius got a slightly sick look on his face. "This so weird watching two people snogging like there's no tomorrow."
Remus replied sarcastically, "Yeah, it's not like we get front row seats to all your snog sessions." He turned and gave Sirius a "you have no room to talk" look.
Apparently unshaken by his friends comeback Sirius answered back with, "Well I've made snogging into an art form. People need to see my work and learn how it's really done." Remus rolled his eyes. "I mean look at them, that is a poor example of snogging and it personally offends me.
Remus shook his head wondering why he was friends with such a drama queen. He turned and started scrubbing the floors and was quickly joined by Sirius.
Finally Lily and James broke apart. James was dazed by the sudden sign of affection from Lily and didn't really know what to say next. Lucky for him, Lily answered his unasked question. "Yes, James, I'll go out with you. She turned around and started working again.
"Great, I'll talk to after detention then?" he asked, a little scared she would hate him again. To his relief she nodded. After smiling to himself, he continued working also.
About two hours later they had finished their work and were waiting for McGonagall to return. Sirius and Remus congratulated Lily and James and started a conversation away from the newly formed couple.
"It's gonna be weird seeing those two together all the time," Sirius said sadly.
Picking up on the real reason behind that statement Remus replied, "He will still spend time with us Padfoot. We're just going to have to let him have his Lily-time to." He put a comforting hand on his friends shoulder.
Sirius laughed. "Yeah, you're right Moony. You sure know how to cheer people up; maybe you should make a career out of it." The boy laughed loudly at his joke.
Remus smiled and laughed along with his friend. "Yeah it's my gift and sometimes my curse." Sirius renewed his laughter after hearing his friend's reply.
At long last McGonagall came back to the room to release them to the common room. "I hope you have all learned your lesson and that I won't be seeing you here again." The stern professor looked directly at Sirius as she finished her sentence.
Donning a scandalized look Sirius said, "I am hurt that you would think that these punishments don't affect me Minnie." The rest of the room rolled their eyes. "Because every detention has taught me a valuable lesson. And once I find out what those lessons are I'll let you know." Sirius gave McGonagall a crooked grin.
Apparently not in the mood for banter, McGonagall dismissed them all. Lily and James said goodbye and headed towards the common room. As Remus and Sirius were about to walk out the door, Sirius said to Remus, "Moony you left your book on Minnie's desk."
Remus' eyes widened as he realized that he had left the charmed book on McGonagall's desk. He turned to go get it but was stopped by his professor who said, "Don't worry Mr. Lupin; I'll get it for you."
"No, professor don't-"He was too late, McGonagall picked up the book and strands of sparks ran up her arm until they reached her head. "Not again," Remus cried as he watched his professor's head transform into a donkey's head.
McGonagall began to Hee-Haw at which Sirius laughed loudly. "Good luck mate," he cried before running out of the room, leaving Remus alone with the once again transformed Transfiguration teacher.
After pointing her wand at her head and turning it back to normal, McGonagall sighed. Remus was about to explain, but she cut him off, "I don't want to know, Lupin," she said wearily. "I am, however, going to give you another detention for tomorrow night."
Hanging his head once more in shame, Remus said, "Yes, professor."
She gestured towards the door signaling that he could go. Remus obliged and made his way to the common room.
Once again Sirius Black had outsmarted him. This was the last straw. Next time he would make sure there were no distractions and that he would get his revenge.
But for now, he would celebrate Lily and James finally getting together. Just for a little while though.
To Be Continued in "Classroom Mayhem."