AN: Hey. this is my first fanfic but please don't go easy on me, I'd love to hear your reviews.
So without further ado: Conflicted.
She hated him, of that she was absolutely certain, there was no reason she had to feel any sort of compassionate feeling towards the person who had made her years at Hogwarts miserable. But if she was so certain of these feelings, why did she feel her heart sinking to her stomach whenever he so much as looked her way?
Well duh! When your oppressor looks your way, you're bound to feel fear.
Somehow even as Hermione thought the words she knew what she was feeling was different, deeper on a level she couldn't comprehend. It worried her colossally. So much so that even Ron and harried had noticed a difference in her. She had brushed it off of course, classing it as fear of their upcoming O.. She didn't know what she'd do with herself if they found out she'd been fantasizing about Draco Malfoy. Damn it! She did her best not to mention her fantasies in which Malfoy did things to her that no man had done to her before, hoping that if she'd forget them and that the blanket of confusion that had been covering her ever since the start of fifth year would lift.
She was currently seated in her potion lesson while Slughorn rambled on about something she couldn't be bothered to focus on. She took a chance to look in his direction, his hair was he palest blond she'd ever seen, matching perfectly with his pastel skin, his pointed face and strong jaw, he's so beautiful, as the thought crossed her mind she frowned. What's wrong with me? I'm practically drooling over Malfoy. It's so wrong. But she couldn't avert her eyes. His eyes made her feel alone, the steely grey of them chilled her. They were the deepest grey of a brewing storm, so cold, yet the held a fierceness to protect that she couldn't help but admire. She loved the way they flashed.. Hold up since when do you love anything about Draco? He's vile don't you remember?
She wondered briefly what was occupying his mind and her heart swelled as she thought it might be her, however, she quickly banished the thought and chastised at her heart for behaving in such a way.
Before she knew it the lesson was over.
She had been staring at him as the bell went and had to avert her eyes quickly for fear of getting caught as he stood to leave.
She stayed behind for a few seconds even after everyone had left to calm her thoughts. She needed to get a grip on them before anyone noticed anything.
They were all in the great hall having dinner and she had to struggle to stop her eyes from studying his face of their own accord. This is becoming an unhealthy obsession and need to end immediately! She thought firmly to herself. Yet as she chastised herself, she couldn't help but flick her eyes in his direction. He looked lost in thought and her heart betrayed her again, by hoping he was thinking of her.
Everyone was supposed to be in their rooms now and she was doing her prefect round. She'd told Ron he could have and early night as she wanted some time to herself to think about this Malfoy issue.
She was slowly losing her mind.
He plagued her every waking thought.
But the dreams… the dreams were the worst. They left her suffering from lust filled insomnia. How could someone she despised so much leave her feeling so conflicted? This wasn't right. She shouldn't have been worrying over whether or not he thought she was pretty, the nerve of her.
She wanted him
She hated him
Malfoy what have you done to me?
Your eyes seem to capture my soul and set it free all at once
Is this someone's sick idea of a joke?
Someone must have placed a love potion on me so I'd become obsessed with you, Draco.
Draco? When we get to a first name basis? sigh
That's exactly what it is. A love potion
Why did she insist on lying to herself? These feelings were absolutely pure, because they were absolutely her own. That being said she had utterly no control over them. And this is what drove her over the edge.
Someone barged into to her.
Well speak of the Devil and he shall appear "Watch where you're going, Granger." He spoke the so venomously that her heart constricted, and as much as she tried to stop the sensation, she only managed to make it stronger.
It hurt her that the hate he had for her could never be swayed. But she masked it well, which she now noticed she'd been doing for a while and this revelation scared her.
"Fuck you, Malfoy" she forced as much animosity into her voice as she could muster and walked away.
Hours later she was tossing and turning in bed suffering from the blasted insomnia that had overwhelmed her lately. She got out of bed and started walking.
Where she was going she had no idea.
Her mind wondered over to Draco – damn it, it's Malfoy! Get a hold of yourself woman.
His face appeared in her head, his pointed face; strong jaw; high cheekbones and his lips. His lips were amazing they we're plump and the perfect shade of crimson.
"Lost are we, Granger?" she jumped shed been so occupied by my thoughts that I didn't notice when Draco - it's MALFOY – appeared in front of her.
"I'm not in the mood, Malfoy." Her reply was a lot stronger than she felt.
"Come on you can do better now, mudblood"
"I – I'm taking a walk." She was in no mood for hostility and the words were spoken in a calm she didn't know she was capable of.
He looked at her for a moment, a baffled expression on his face, no doubt at the fact that she refused to participate in the regular battle of wits.
Then he smirked, "Why Hermione, you lost your touch."
Her head snapped up at the mention of her name, confusion clear on her face, they'd never referred to each other as anything other than their last names. At least on her part that was true, he'd often referred to her as mudblood and a couple other foul words that she'd prefer not to remember.
"Well since you're being friendly, I thought I'd give it a try" he offered a smile which seemed almost genuine. So she told her nerves to shut the fuck up; smiled and purely intending to start a civil conversation said,
"Your smile is beautiful" he froze.
She froze, she wasn't meant to say that...
He stared at her for a couple of moment before leaning down towards her face.
"Just say when." And he pressed his lips to hers in a kiss. A boy was it a kiss.
He pulled away a little too soon and walked away.
"I'll see you later Hermione." He called this over his shoulder before he rounded the corner.
Frozen to the spot she thought Please do!