Malvolio the Magician
Ring. Ring. Horace woke with a start. Ring. Ring. His disheveled brown hair stood up on end at the sound of the telephone. Ring. Ring. He tried to ignore the phone; maybe it would just go away. Ring. Ring. It didn't. Ring. Ring. Horace looked at the clock. Ring. Ring. 7:30 it read in huge red letters. Ring. Ring. With a voice of a man who hadn't gotten any sleep in days, Horace grabbed his prehistoric telephone and answered, "Hello?" Horace heard a familiar voice reply, "Horace? It's Lenny. I found this great new place for you, it's a surprise! You're gonna be a killer with this one! Come to my office in an hour. See you then!" Click. Horace looked around his apartment. It was dreadfully dull, not to mention every object he owned was in need of repair; there was peeling wallpaper on the walls, a broken refrigerator in the corner, a slightly leaning table with a vase of dead flowers, and an old mattress with questionably dirty sheets on the bed. Horace slowly got out of bed and changed into his work clothes, which consisted of a black suit, red shirt, and a cape, and made himself some breakfast.
Lenny Hershey and Horace Clement had been friends since before they could remember. When they grew up, Horace realized his dream of becoming a famous magician and Lenny soon after became his manager. Lenny managed many other magicians aside from Horace, and they all seemed to be doing a lot better in the business than Horace was. Many of them were being booked at the best hotels in New York; but not Horace. Horace was still doing children's birthday parties and bar mitzvahs. Although Lenny had good intentions, he could never seem to book the right place for Horace. Horace was growing impatient, but he could never get a new manager. Lenny was his best friend, and he couldn't hurt him. He thought of his dilemma and sighed as he opened the squeaky door to Lenny's office.
"Horace! Have I got a good one for you!" Lenny exclaimed as Horace gloomily ambled through the door.
"Is it another birthday party?" inquired Horace.
"No! Of course not…o.k., well, maybe, but this one's different! I found a birthday party for this little boy who always wanted to be a magician! How about it, huh? How could we turn this one down? He's like a little you! You gotta go! What do you say?"
Horace groaned. "Alright, if it means that much to you, I'll do it," Horace said miserably as he sat in an old, grungy office chair and stared at the ceiling.
"Good, good! I'll call them right away. See you round!" exclaimed Lenny as he vigorously grabbed the telephone and dialed the number of the little boy's house. Horace glumly plodded out of the office and headed for home.
Outside his apartment, Horace found a cab already waiting for him. He saw Lenny's star act, Malvolio the Magician, otherwise known as Ruby Hardy, get into a cab in front of him. Ruby and Horace lived in the same apartment complex, though Ruby's residence was much nicer than Horace's. Lenny would always book a separate cab for both Ruby and Horace so they could get to their destinations more quickly, but this morning was different. Ruby was booked for a show at the St. Regis Hotel ballroom, but as he got into what he thought was his cab, he didn't know he'd end up at a small, suburban house in New Rochelle for a young boy's birthday party. Meanwhile, Horace, not realizing the taxi cabs were switched, hopped into his and headed for one of the grandest hotels in New York City to perform one of the greatest magic acts of his career.
Horace got out of the taxi and gathered his materials. "Thanks!" he yelled to the cab driver and gave him a tip. He stepped out of the cab and looked around. The St. Regis, the hotel sign said as he approached the lobby. "Excuse me, I'm the magician, do you know where the party is?" Horace asked a young woman at the reception desk. "Sure!" she replied, "Just take a right after the elevators and take another right. You can't miss it!" Horace followed her directions and quickly made his way up to the ballroom. No one had arrived yet. Horace took out his magic bag filled with the classic birthday party magic tricks and set up for his show on stage. When he was done, he made his way backstage to wait for the guests to arrive. "Fancy birthday party for a young kid," he thought to himself as he found a water cooler and took a cup full of water.
Soon Horace could hear the murmur of voices in the ballroom and threw out his now empty cup of water. An announcer's voice came from onstage, "Ladies and gentlemen, now presenting, Malvolio the Magician!" Horace gaped at the announcer as he came back stage and whispered, "Go on, Malvolio, what are you waiting for?" Horace quickly ran on stage. It became clear to him now. He, Horace, must be at one of Ruby's acts, while poor Malvolio the Magician was at a birthday party! There was nothing he could do, and he couldn't ruin Ruby's reputation. He stared out at the audience and began his regular act. Throughout the show the audience couldn't stop roaring with laughter. Horace was humiliated. His simple tricks worked wonders with children, but adults were another story. "This is why Lenny never books me," he thought as he grimaced at the audience who were now almost falling off their seats with laughter. "They hate me!"
After a couple more tricks, Malvolio the Magician's lovely assistants, Rita Richardson and Valeria Villareal, wheeled on stage a giant black box which they placed on the floor with a tray of hammers and nails. "What am I supposed to do with this?" Horace whispered to one of the assistants. "We'll nail you in and you'll disappear!" Rita quietly replied as she gave a huge grin to the audience. Horace took out his cell phone and placed it on the table. He didn't want it to get lost when he disappeared. He did as Rita said and climbed into the box. He said to the audience, "Now, I will apparently make myself disappear without disturbing a single nail!" As he lay in the box he could hear Rita and Valeria hammering the lid shut. "Great," thought Horace, "how am I supposed to get out of this?" Almost as quickly as the thought had passed through his head, he felt the floor boards beneath him open up and felt himself falling through into the darkness below. He hit a springy mattress with a thud. "I must be below stage," thought Horace. He saw a glass double door leading outside. It was raining. "Oh well, at least the humiliation is over." He trudged outside and hailed a taxi. He thought he might still be able to make it to the birthday party to explain everything to Ruby. He reached into his pocket to grab his cell phone to call Lenny for the directions but immediately realized he'd forgotten it on stage upstairs. He was too embarrassed to go up and get it, so he found the nearest pay phone to call Lenny.
An hour later, Horace arrived at a small suburban house in New Rochelle. He sprinted out of the taxi, not remembering to pay the cab driver, and ran up to the door. Ding Dong. He rang the doorbell and a woman quickly answered. "Hello, I'm the magician, Horace…" Horace began. He looked through the house to the back yard and saw that Malvolio the Magician was there, just finishing his amazing magic act for the kids who were spellbound. "Never mind," said Horace to the woman as he saw the taxi cab was still waiting. "You forgot to pay me!" yelled the taxi driver. Horace only had a few twenties, not enough for the return fare. The cab driver grabbed the bills and sped off without him.
It was midnight as Horace climbed up the stairs to his apartment. He opened the door and took off his coat. He looked around and sighed at the peeling wallpaper on the walls, the broken refrigerator in the corner, and the slightly leaning table with the vase of dead flowers. He took the dead flowers out of the vase to go throw them away, but as he walked towards the trashcan, he noticed his answering machine on his archaic telephone was beeping. 42 new messages, it read. Horace played the first one. "Hello, I'm Bas Oliver, head of entertainment at the Bellagio Hotel, Las Vegas. You're probably wondering how I got this number. It seems you left your phone on stage at the St. Regis." Horace quickly remembered. "Don't worry, I have it with me. I'm very interested in hiring you as our main act. Your magician comedy performance was the best I've ever seen! I couldn't stop laughing! Call me back, my number is…" Horace quickly shut off the machine. The Bellagio? Las Vegas? He, Horace Clement, was being offered a job in Las Vegas, Nevada as the star performer of one of the most famous hotels in the United States of America? No, it couldn't be true. He played the message over again, and over again, and over again. Sure enough, it was. After he got some sleep, Horace called up Bas Oliver and settled his contract deal. He was finally making his dream come true.
Horace Clement worked at the Bellagio for years to come, and became one of the most sought after magicians in the business. His best friend, Lenny, got dozens of all-expense-paid trips to come to Las Vegas to see his friend perform. Horace soon met a show girl bye the name of Phoebe Flowers, and they got married the next March. They had two kids, a boy and a girl, each wanting to follow in their father's footsteps. Horace finally made his lifelong dream come true.
The End