It started with something as unthreatening as a telephone call. That undeniably annoying ring, echoing through the near empty apartment, and alerting both men to an incoming call, was the starting of Shuichi's trouble. The singer was seated beside his busy lover, attempting occasional conversation. He knew when Yuki had a flow going, he wouldn't be stopped for mundane conversation. So when the phone rang, the possibility of conversation caused him to all but fly from his chair, and to kitchen. Once, before Shuichi completely invaded his life, Yuki had the phone in his office for easy access, but moved it after realizing how much Shuichi used it.
His sock feet slipped on the finished wood, but Shuichi didn't stop until the receiver was against his ear. "Hello!" he greeted giddily, smiling regardless of the fact that no one was watching. Shuichi found facial expressions in the tones of people voices.
"Hey Shuichi!" It was the ever-diligent Hiro, once again saving him from the potential boredom that came with a vacation.
"Hiro!" he sang, switching ears. The phone was stationed on the edge of the counter, so Yuki could stand in the doorway, peering into the living room just to make ignoring whoever dared bother him so much easier. He also rearranged the furniture so the television faced him as he did this. Shuichi however, found all the distraction too annoying, and always chose to perch on the counter when talking on the phone.
He lifted himself onto the hard marble-imitation at the same time as jumping head first into conversation. "How's your vacation so far?"
There was a chuckle from the other end. "Good, actually. Ayaka came from Kyoto two nights ago, and it's been heaven ever since."
"Heaven?" Shuichi questioned incredulously. "You mean you finally bedded the girl?"
Hiro sputtered, and Shuichi could hear the clatter as he dropped the phone. Hiroshi was still sputtering as he picked the cordless from the floor, but Shuichi suspected that he was just being overdramatic now. It wasn't like Hiro was a virgin or anything. He had his fair share of sexual play in high school, while Shuichi's only high school sweetheart was his keyboard.
"I didn't bed her!" He sounded genuine, "I've been a perfect gentleman. She isn't a whore, you know. Not everyone jumps into the sack with the first pretty face they see, Shuichi."
Now it was Shuichi's turn to sputter. "I'm not a whore!" Hiro laughed before Shuichi could say anything else. "I'm not!" As an after thought he added, "I'm only Yuki's whore." (Hiro stopped laughing, though now the singer suspected his face was twisted into a grimace, rather than a mocking grin.) "Anyways," he continued. "If it's been heaven having Ayaka around, why did you suddenly decide to call?"
"Are you that imposed? I'm sorry! I thought we were friends—""No! I love you! You never impose, never!" Hanging up now would mean making a nuisance of him if he went back into Yuki's office.
"Ayaka left around an hour ago, and I'm lonely. I haven't seen you in a couple days, so I thought, why not spend the rest of the vacation with my best friend, Shuichi?"
"I don't know if you're only using my ever loyal friendship to fill the void Ayaka left, or if you're intentions are pure." Shuichi laughed, swinging his feet.
"Always pure, and I'm offended you'd think otherwise!"The younger of the two opened his mouth to reply, but a rather surprising beep cut him off. He sideway glanced at the phone beside him, noticing the 'call waiting' warning displaying where Hiro's number was once written. "Ah, sorry Hiro. Hold on a minute, someone's on the other line."
He pressed the flash button with his index finger before Hiro could reply. Though he was curious, his cheery greeting didn't change, and his smile seeped through his voice. "Hello?"
"Shuichi?" The voice belonged to an older woman, who sounded worn down. There was a hint of something laced through the breathy escape of his name, and all Shuichi could think of that this woman had been, or even still was, crying.
"Speaking…" he wasn't sure what to say. Curiosity was overwhelming him. His smile dropped into an expression of worry. "What's the matter?"
"This is your mother," the woman said after a pause, obviously understanding the confusion in her son's voice. "You can't even recognize your own mother?"
It certainly didn't sound like his mom. Shuichi knew his mother as a bright woman, ripe with understanding only a mother would possess. She wouldn't snap at her son for no good reason. Shuichi began to assume he had forgotten something important, maybe a birthday of some distant aunt or something stupid like that? Her voice was hoarse, though, too much so for just a forgotten event.
"Sorry, mom! You sound so tired, I didn't recognize your voice instantly!"
"I should sound tired," the woman agreed. "You, however, sound chipper than ever."
"Yeah," he mumbled. It sounded like his mother was scolding him for being happy, which wasn't common. When he was still living with his immediate family, they always encouraged him to smile, even when things got hard. "What's wrong?"
She didn't answer right away. The singer recognized the sound of sobbing that filled the silence. "Mom? What happened? What's wrong!"
"You…" she hiccupped, "you ungrateful brat."
Now he was really taken aback. His own mother was very angry with him, and he had no clue what he did. Her words replayed over and over, leaving welts in his memory, replacing kind words the older woman had said to him as he was growing up.
"W-What? I'm sorry if I missed a birthday… But—"
"Ha!" the laughter was a cold bark, and contradicted the sob that followed it. "You're so stupid, Shuichi, so unbelievably stupid! A birthday? You think I'd be this torn over a birthday?"
"No… I'm sorry."
"You should be sorry! But sorry won't cut it, it won't bring back my little girl!"Shuichi's eyes widened as numbness took over his body. The harsh words were still replaying, over and over, causing his eyes to water. Her little girl would be Maiko, Shuichi's own sister. What did she mean by bringing her back? Did Maiko run away?
"Wh…What?" He wasn't comfortable with the quake in question.
"Murderer!" His mother whispered sharply, and then repeated it. "Murderer, murderer, murderer! You murdered my baby girl! You murdered Maiko!"
His ability to speak escaped him. All he could do was attempt to think of what happened, and why his own mother was suddenly accusing him of killing Maiko. As far as he knew, he did not go out on a rampage, sneak into his parent's house, and murder his baby sister. He didn't jump behind the wheel of a car, and he didn't run down anybody, much less his own flesh and blood.
"There has to be some sort of mistake," he whispered, now with tears falling down his cheeks. "I didn't…"
"Not physically, but mentally. You destroyed her enough to make her kill herself! You…She left a note! She said she couldn't stand being known as Shuichi's sister, and having everyone crowd her, everyone use her, to get to you!" By this point Shuichi's mother was crying so hard that it was nearly impossible to understand what she was saying.
"Much less," the woman continued after having caught her resolve. "Much less having her own brother forget about her, in the process."
"I didn't!" He cried loudly, alerting Yuki who was still in his study. "You're wrong, she's wrong! I didn't forget about anyone! I love Maiko, and I love you and dad! I didn't mean for anything like this…" the singer couldn't breath, it felt like his chest was constricting.
"No! You didn't think about any of this! You never even assumed that your family would have hardship, and you didn't keep your promise to her! You didn't keep in touch with her…" it sounded as though she wasn't crying anymore, taking whatever comfort she could from Shuichi's distress.
"I'm sorry!" he sobbed, clutching the phone like a lifeline.
"Good! Don't ever come around us again, you're not allowed back! I don't want to see you again, not ever. I hate you! We all hate you!"
The line went dead. Soon enough all Shuichi could do was sit there and listen to the dial tone. The conversation had already faded, causing details to become unclear. Soon all he could remember was the constant accusation of "Murderer, murderer, murderer!" Shuichi dropped the receiver. It scraped against the expensive counter before hanging listlessly by the cord. The kitchen around him no longer seemed to exist, and the distraught boy found himself in a blurred white world.
He fell from his spot on the counter, not bothering to catch himself. As he lay crumbled on the floor of his white world, sobbing so hard he began to gag, he vaguely heard urgent footsteps and the voice of his best friend calling to him, faintly.
Before he even began to realize what was happening, he was pulled into the warm embrace of his lover. Due to his wet face, the tears began to fall faster than before—which also caused his blurred vision to clear. Yuki was staring at him with a concerned expression, but all Shuichi could do was start to cry harder.
"My—My—my— Oh God!" He was hyperventilating, struggling out of the hug Yuki pulled him into. Gasp, hiccups, and sobs all tried to come out at once. It seemed impossible to inhale. "I can't breathe!" he cried loudly in a strangled voice, before sobbing again.
Yuki didn't know what to do. He let Shuichi out of his arms, and watched helplessly as the boy hunched over. He was shaking violently, and his face was turning red. He honestly could not breath. Yuki rubbed circles on the Shuichi's, but it didn't seem to help at all. Shuichi continued to cry, his body heaving for air.
"Shuichi!" Yuki called desperately, unsure if he had been saying the name out loud or not more than he just this once. It was the only word he was able to think at the moment. He was shocked to see his lover so distraught after watching him merrily spring from his office only minutes before. "Calm down, breath!" Shuichi couldn't calm down, and the words only seemed to upset him more.
At that moment, Shuichi threw up. With his hyperventilating, he choked on it. Sputtering and gasping only caused him to gag more. After vomiting again, the boy suddenly went slack. Even through his shock, Yuki registered what was happening and was able to grab Shuichi before he fell into the puddle of his own vomit face first. The novelist pulled him against his chest, and held him still for a moment.
He was relieved when he seen that Shuichi was still awake. He was breathing heavily, still, and his eyes were still clouded with tears. "Shuichi…" Yuki mewled, still unsure of what to do. His own shock was fading. His heart however was sinking more and more as he recognized the void expression Shuichi now bore.
With lips flecked with tears and vomit, Shuichi mouthed, "I'm a murderer."