Author's note:

I usually finish most of my stories before I start posting, but since I have had quite a hard time tying this one together, I thought I would start posting, hoping it will work out in the end. I have most of the story more or less written though so there is no doubt I will finish it.

The thing is that when I first started this story I had a whole different idea with it, and since then I have changed its course quite a lot and been so wrapped up in it, that I fear I have gotten a bit entangled in my own words. So what I'm trying to say is that I would really appreciate any comments/reviews on how the story appear, in a way to let me know if I'm on the right track or if I'm just totally lost. Because if I am, I will try and tidy up the story and adjust its continuation accordingly.

And also, since this story is set after the show ended and I haven't seen the last episode or the last season in ages, I apologize in advance if something with this story contradicts with the show.

"Well, I guess it's back to you and me then," Kris tried to say cheerfully to Kelly, as she saw Julie disappear into the plane. But even if she tried to sound cheerful, she couldn't help but feel a bit gloomy.

Julie had stayed with them a bit longer than Tiffany previously had, but not much. Just a couple of months longer, and now they had waved their goodbyes to also her, as she headed back to New York to finish her police education.

"Guess so…," Kelly said with a sigh, sounding even gloomier than Kris felt.

Kris looked at Kelly and when seeing she indeed didn't look too happy, she realized she'd better try to get them both in a better mood.

"Oh, so that's how it is huh?" she joked, put her hand in her pockets and looked down in the floor.

Obviously not taking too much notice to what Kris had said, Kelly just looked at her bewildered. "What?"

"I just couldn't help but notice how happy you seemed to be stuck with just me again," Kris tried again, trying to act offended, hoping her friend would take her up on her joke.

"Oh, I'm sorry," was however all Kelly absent-mindedly said, as she looked back at the plane again, obviously being lost in thoughts.

Kris sighed when noticing her friend hadn't picked up Kris' attempt to cheer her up, and instead she fell silent as well. But just a moment later she started leaving, figuring it was time for them to head back. When noticing Kelly didn't budge, she put her hand on Kelly's arm. "Kelly?"

"Huh?" was all Kelly replied a bit distractedly.

Seeing her friend was still a bit mentally absent, Kris suddenly didn't feel as urgent to leave. Instead she asked, "Wanna grab a cup of coffee?"

"Yeah, sure…," Kelly replied, actually thinking it was quite a good idea. But still a bit lost in thoughts she just automatically let herself be led away by Kris.

They walked silently over to the small coffee shop in the departure hall and ordered themselves each a cup of coffee, but as they seated themselves by a small table Kris couldn't be quiet anymore. She knew something wasn't right with Kelly, and even if she understood her friend might be a bit sad that Julie had left the Agency, she knew it was more to it than that. "Kelly, are you all right?" she wondered, going straight to the point, as she looked at her friend.

Taken a bit aback by Kris' question, Kelly just looked bewildered at her. All though, she couldn't blame Kris for wondering, because she knew she had indeed been a bit distracted. She smiled vaguely, both because she realized she hadn't been the best company and because she had made Kris concerned. "I'm fine," she then tried to convince Kris, but almost automatically, and before she really could stop herself, she continued, "it's just that..." But neither really knowing what she was about to say, or if she really wanted to talk about what was on her mind, Kelly's voice died out before she said anything more. Instead she looked down in the cup, naively hoping Kris would instead just let it be.

Obviously though, Kris wouldn't.

"It's just what?" she wondered curiously.

"Oh nothing, it's...," Kelly searched her brain for something good to say, but when realizing she had zilch, she instead just sighed, and shook her head, "…nothing."

"Kelly…" Kris started, and sighed a bit hopelessly. "I can see it's not 'nothing'."

She knew Kelly was never fond talking about her thoughts and feelings, and that she in fact had the ability to distant herself from others, hiding in her own little shell when something was bothering her. But Kris wasn't quite ready to let her do that this time. At least not without trying to figure out what it was about. "Come on Kelly, you can tell me," she then continued and put a reassuring hand on her friends arm.

Knowing there was no way out of it, especially since they had a long drive back to the city from the airport when Kris could nag at her, Kelly sighed again, knowing she had to say something. It didn't necessarily had to be any profound thoughts, she figured, just something. Something that would satisfy Kris' curiosity.

"It's just that I'm tired of seeing everyone's leaving all of the time, always having to say goodbye," she then finally admitted.

"Yeah, me too," Kris said with a sigh. She and Kelly had indeed said goodbye to some of their best friends over the years, and it was never something they enjoyed.

"Sometime I just hate to be the one that's left behind, while the others go on with their lives, you know?" Kelly heard herself continue.

Kris looked at her friend a bit puzzled, not sure if she knew if she was following her anymore. "Well, I'm not quite sure if I follow you Kell…but I don't think we're left behind," she said feeling absolutely certain about that. Even if neither of them liked the fact that Julie left, or the others before her, Kris couldn't say she wasn't happy with staying behind. After all she loved working for Charlie, and with Kelly and Bosley. It was Julie's loss for leaving, not theirs.

Kelly sat silent, not really wanting to comment Kris' statement. She knew Kris wouldn't understand. Or maybe she would, but Kelly just didn't seem to have the energy, or the interest, to explain what she was getting at. She wasn't even sure if she, herself, knew what she was getting at. She just knew she was tired of seeing the other Angels leaving, when she knew she wouldn't. She would stay, stay like always, and keep on fighting. Never giving up, leaving, like the others. But not having the time to think about it, knowing Kris was waiting for a reply, she instead pushed her thoughts aside. Half-heartedly she said, "No, maybe you're right." She'd tried to sound convinced, but she knew she'd failed. But too tired to be bothered by it, she instead let out a small, almost unnoticeable sigh, and turned away from Kris, staring out in the air.

Kris looked confused at her friend. She could tell Kelly wasn't feeling her best and something was on her mind, something more than she had let on, but she also knew that with that rejection, Kelly wouldn't say anything more about the subject. She knew Kelly that well by now, that she could tell when there was no use pushing. So instead Kris figured she would try to change the subject, or at least change the tune of the discussion.

"Of course I'm right," she said brightly, hoping Kelly would be able to leave whatever thought she was bothered with for awhile.

Kelly looked back at Kris, and even if she was a bit surprised Kris obviously had let it be and had turned more unserious, she was relieved she had. She let out a small smile, almost as if thanking her for bringing the discussion to a more positive level.

When seeing she got her friend's attention, and that it seemed as if she'd succeeded to pull Kelly out from her own little world, Kris just threw her a quick look and smiled, before she took another sip of her coffee.

Really wanting to take Kris up on her suggestion of another discussion, Kelly focused not to be carried away to her thoughts that had previously so firmly clung to her mind. But obviously not being able to move far from it, she asked, "so who do you think the new angel's going to be?"

Noticing Kelly had moved on from what had been bothering her, Kris smiled vaguely before she shrugged her shoulders. "Dunno. Hopefully someone nice."

"Yeah." Kelly couldn't disagree on that.

"Hey, what if Charlie doesn't even get a new angel this time?" Kris then hopefully suggested. Even if she wouldn't mind too much getting a new partner, she would definitely prefer if it was just her and Kelly for a while. Because she did think it was tiresome to get a new partner, and it was obvious Kelly thought so as well. This far they had been lucky with their new partners, but sometime it was bound to happen that they wouldn't get along as well. And Kris had been in the business for so long now, that she knew it was very much important you got along perfectly to succeed on the cases. "Wouldn't that be nice? With just the two of us?" Kris carried on and looked optimistically at Kelly, hoping, and thinking, she would agree.

"Sure it would, but I wouldn't bet on that Kris," Kelly said with a doubtful laugh, not at all thinking Charlie would settle with that. "Charlie will arrange something, you can be sure of that," she then continued sarcastically, as she noticed her negative mood slowly was creeping up on her again.

It wasn't hard for Kris to snap up the sarcastically tone of voice in Kelly's comment, and she couldn't help but feeling a bit concerned about it. Even if she knew neither of them were too keen of getting yet another partner, that was not why Kelly sounded so bitter. She was sure of it. But not wanting them to drift off to a bad place again, Kris chose to ignore it to try to keep the discussion on its happy tone.

"Well, she might turn out good, you know. I mean she always has in the past, right?"

"Yeah…," Kelly had to agree, and even if she tried not to show it, the pessimism in her voice was distinctly prevailed again. She knew Kris was right, and she knew she had no right to be so pessimistic about a new partner, but she just couldn't help herself. Not wanting to talk about it anymore though, afraid where it would take her, she finished her coffee and pulled up some money for the bill that she put on the table. "Ready to go?"

"Uh huh…" Kris nodded and finished her coffee, actually feeling a bit relieved Kelly wanted to get going. It sure wasn't one of Kelly's best days, and Kris couldn't wait to get back home.

The next day things were a bit more like normal and they were now waiting in the office for Charlie to call to inform them about the new arrangements. When Charlie called though, he did not mention the new angel, neither did he bring up their new case, but instead just focused on their last case they had finished a couple of days back. But as the discussion died out, Kris was too curious finding out about her new partner, and took the silent moment as a perfect moment of bringing it up.

"So who's the new angel going to be, Charlie?" she wondered as she walked over to Bosley by the desk.

"Actually, Kris, I'm not quite sure yet," Charlie replied thoughtfully through the speaker phone. "I'm working on getting a certain girl, but for now it's just going to be the two of you."

Kris looked surprised at the speaker phone. Even if she had hoped, she had figured, just like Kelly, that Charlie indeed would find someone new. He always had, and somehow he seemed to prefer his team to exist of three Angels, and not two. After all, it had never taken him long to find someone to replace the others after they had left, so why would it now? But just like she'd told Kelly yesterday, Kris really enjoyed the idea with just the two of them.

After not getting any replies, Charlie brought Kris back to reality again, as he wondered a bit concerned they wouldn't approve, "If you don't mind?"

"Mind?" Kris exclaimed cheerfully. "You're wondering if I'd mind having one of the best Angels there is all to myself? Are you kidding?" She looked at Kelly and smiled, thinking she would be as happy as she was about the new arrangements. But when she could see her friend looking deep in thoughts, Kris' good mood vanished. Instinctively Kris wondered whether Kelly was thinking about that same thing that obviously had bothered her yesterday, and she couldn't help but feeling a growing concern for her friend. Maybe it was more to it than she'd thought yesterday after all. After they had left the airport, Kelly had slowly started to lighten up and by the time Kris dropped her off at her place things were basically back to normal again, so Kris had figured it was just something temporary. Now she wasn't as sure anymore.

Apparently even Charlie could notice something wasn't right with Kelly as he could hear her absence from the discussion, "Kelly, what do you think?"

Hearing her name being mentioned, Kelly tried to dismiss her thoughts and instead looked at the speaker phone. "That sounds fine Charlie," she said trying to sound normal, but she could hear that her voice sounded constrained.

So she wasn't surprised when Charlie questioned her. "Kelly? Are you alright? You sound a bit absent-minded."

"Oh, I'm fine Charlie," she answered, pushing herself to sound a bit more normal. "I'm just a bit tired that's all," she then lied, really wanting him to drop it.

And obviously it worked, as Charlie went on talking about something else. The look Kelly got from Kris however, could tell her that her friend hadn't dropped it.

Swiftly Kelly broke their eye contact and looked out the room.

Kelly sighed resignedly as she heard the alarm clock once again started ringing. Although, the ringing didn't come as a surprise. She had snoozed it a couple of times, but instead of falling back to sleep, she had instead just been laying there, waiting for it to ring next time. Automatically she pushed the snooze button again.

She was simply not at all in the mood of getting up. Or going to work.

She sighed guiltily, as that newly-formed feeling she had about her job once again seemed to have made its presence in the pit of her stomach. She had always loved going to work, throwing herself head-first into different cases, catching bad guys and going undercover, or just meeting up with her colleagues at the office. But now she somehow just didn't have that same intriguing feeling, that hunger for it. And it disturbed her. A lot. And added to that disturbing feeling was how uninterested she appeared to be with the new arrangement at the Agency. She even felt ashamed when she saw how thrilled Kris was about working just the two of them, while she knew she gave the impression that she couldn't care less about it. But it wasn't that she didn't liked working just the two of them, or that Julie had left, it was just that…Well, she wasn't sure what it was actually.

What she did know though, which really was what was bugging her, was that she had felt a sting of jealousy when Julie told them she wanted to go back to New York, that she was leaving. The feeling had disturbed her at that moment, and it disturbed her even more so now, when it had appeared to have increased. Now it rarely left her mind for long. Not really knowing what else to make of it, she had started wondering if maybe she was ready to leave as well. But even if she couldn't quite dismiss the idea completely, it just didn't seem to be right. She had never during her five years at the agency even considered that she want to leave. She had loved it from the very start, and she had loved every moment of it, so why did she doubt it now? She loved working as a detective, didn't she?

She had been with Charlie's agency as long as there had been an agency, and she had been through it all. She had seen one after the other angel leave, and not once, until now, had she envied the one leaving. It had always been theirs loss of leaving, not the ones staying behind, just like Kris had told her the other day. But somehow it just didn't feel like that this time. This time it felt as if it was her loss for staying. When she could leave.

Leave. Kelly sighed troubled, annoyed that that word always seemed to pop up. She didn't really want to leave, did she? Because what would she do? And why would she even want to? The others had all left because they knew they wanted something else. Like Jill. Kelly remembered how Jill always had dreamed of becoming a race car driver, how she constantly had talked about it. Ever since they first met in the police force she had talked about it, and even if Jill had loved working for Charlie, Kelly knew that she one day would leave to seek that dream. Her leaving hadn't come as a surprise. It had been hard for her and Sabrina to face fact and accept it, but deep down neither of them could say it wasn't expected.

For Tiffany it had been similar. Maybe she hadn't always dreamt of becoming an attorney like Jill had about being a race car driver, but Tiffany instead knew quite quickly that she wanted something else. She never appreciated being a detective like the rest of them did, despite her natural knack for it. She was simply never completely comfortable with it, knowing she wanted something else with her life. And when she found it, when she realized she wanted to be an attorney, she had gone after it, just like she should.

And it had been pretty much the same for Julie. Just like Jill and Tiffany, Julie had left to do something else. She wanted to go back to the Police Academy to finally achieve that police license she had been working on for so long. She had known she was in the right business, but she had simply not been satisfied being a private eye without her police training. And when she'd left a couple of days ago she had told them she probably wanted to stay a cop once she got her license. She wanted to work closer to the streets, helping people to pull themselves up from a criminal life, just like Julie herself had been helped once. And Kelly didn't blame her. She knew exactly what she meant. She had been there as well. Like Julie, Kelly had lived a life on the other side of the law until she had managed to straighten herself up. Although Kelly had changed a lot since her days on the streets and she couldn't quite see herself going back working with the Police. But for Julie it was different. She would like it in the force, Kelly was sure of it.

Of all the partners Kelly had said goodbye to, it was probably only Sabrina that didn't do it because she wanted something different, a profession she wanted more or would be happier with. Sabrina was most likely also the one least subjected to leave, because compared to her fellow resigned Angels she had already been working with what she loved most. Instead she had left of purely practical reasons. Her new husband hadn't at the time been able to leave his position at the University in Vancouver, so Sabrina had instead resigned from the Townsend Agency and joined him to Canada. And then when she got pregnant she thought she could take it a bit easier for awhile as well, which was probably the reason why she hadn't found a similar job in the country up north, but instead settled with an office job at the Police. Even if Kelly was sure Sabrina was happy with what she was doing now, that was not why she had left. She would have stayed if the circumstances been different.

And just like Sabrina, Kelly loved working as a private eye more than anything. And she couldn't see herself doing anything but. Although, Sabrina had left, so why couldn't she? But Sabrina had at least left for a reason. Kelly had nothing.

Suddenly interrupting her thoughts, the alarm clock once started ringing. She sighed tiredly as she pushed her thoughts aside, knowing that this time she had to get up if she didn't wanted to be too late, or she would never hear the end of it from Bosley. Unenthusiastically she turned around and reached for the alarm clock to finally turn it off. She lingered a couple of more moments before she tiredly got up and headed for the bathroom.

Hoping to shake off some of her tiredness she walked over to the sink and soon she let the ice cold water run over her face. With the cold water still dripping down her face she looked up, but as she caught her reflection in the mirror she froze stiff, fixating her eyes on the short-cut brown hair, as painful memories came rushing back to her.

She sighed heavily, almost irritated. She just didn't seem to be able to catch a break.

It had been around five months since she had been shot in the head, and maybe three months since she was released from the hospital, and despite the time that had past, she still couldn't help but remember the attack every time she saw the hair. Except from the scar beneath it, the hair that had been shaven off for her surgery was now the only visible thing that remained from the injury. She didn't really minded the hair being so short, worse was it when they took the bandage off and she had only inches of hair. But now it wasn't that bad, it had grown out enough that people couldn't see and question what had happened to her. But still, she knew. Every time she saw it, she was reminded of the pain and despair she had felt, and she hated the feeling. She hated how she kept reliving the moment, the moments that came after. But no matter how she tried to escape the memory, it always came back. She remembered the incomprehensible pain from the actual attack, the confusion and despair when she later woke up from her coma and the complete desperation the time afterwards, when she'd fought to recover. And she remembered how she just wanted to break down and give up. But that she hadn't. She had kept on struggling. Even if the doctors told her she had a long and hard struggle in front of her to recover, she had made it. Miraculously well, they even told her. She had simply pushed the despair and her urge to give up, aside, and instead just gave it all she had. Like so many times before she had just kept going, kept on fighting.

Ever since she was a little child she had been fighting, whether it was fighting to endure abuse at orphanages and foster homes, or fighting to stay alive when she'd roamed the country after she'd finally escaped her lost foster home. No, she knew what it meant to fight alright. Even if she sometime wished she didn't.

She sighed heavily and dried her face, almost as if to wash the thoughts and memories away just as much as she washed away the water. She didn't look back in the mirror again, but instead she left the washbasin and continued with her morning procedures.

She did indeed not look forward to the day.

That was that. I hope you liked it so far!

And please, please leave a review! You have no idea how much I appreciate it! =)