I watched my parents die at the museum. An artifact fell on them. That was
the first strike. I was young and didn't know death that well. My parents'
death affected my life. I got into archaeology; like my parents.
The gamekeeper had me relive their deaths multiple times. It was a game to
him and the residents. New software to try. The gamekeeper said that it was
a way of seeing if there was anything we could have done different to stop
it. But there wasn't. And even if there was, I couldn't have changed what
happened. Also knowing there was something you could have done to save your
parents lives and didn't would have torn me apart. Just the same if not
more.
Working in the Stargate program was the most amazing thing I have ever done. I knew my theories on the pyramids and aliens were true. I put what I knew to work. I met my wife, Sha'uri, on Abydos. I remained back on the planet with them as the team went home. We didn't know at the time that the stargate went to more then one planet and that there were more enemies. There were more Goa'uld and Jaffa. After Ra the sun god, died, we thought we were free. Then Apophis came. Teal'c was his first prime. I don't blame Teal'c for taking Sha'uri as a possible host. She became host to Ammunette. The ones that weren't chosen to be her host were either killed or became a slave. It may sound bad but it would have been better to be killed than to be a host, not be able to control our bodies, and watch as a creature inside of us hurt others. Even people they loved. Sha'uri had given birth to the harcesis child. The child had all the knowledge of the Goa'uld before it. It was quite a burden. We began to search for the child. His knowledge would be of great help to us. Sha'uri in a way told me to search for the boy while she had me under the ribbon device. I didn't want to listen at first I was about to give up on space travel and just stop it all together. Teal'c killed Sha'uri. I didn't want to forgive him because I loved her. I still do. I can't explain what happened with Sha'uri, but if it wasn't for her telling me what I needed to do, I don't think I could have ever moved on. We buried Sha'uri on Abydos where she belongs. As for me, all I knew was that she was free and I didn't have to search for her anymore.
I moved on. I didn't think I could have loved anyone else, but I did. She didn't know it though. At least I don't think she did. Janet was a miracle doctor. I was always in the infirmary. That's probably how it began. Who knows for sure? A Jaffa killed Janet too. She was all about saving lives. I don't think she ever saw it coming. She was trying to save another soldier. He lived because of her. He named his daughter Janet. He swore he was having a boy. He begged me to videotape a message for his family because he thought he was going to die. So I did. I wasn't to far into it when a shot came out and hit Janet. I got it on tape too. I kept calling for medics, but it was to late she was gone too. I've been in a daze lately. Death has been my life. I wonder what would have happened if I didn't get into archaeology. I shouldn't have. It killed my parents. I never would have go to Abydos and met Sha'uri or in the Stargate program and met Janet. I told General Hammond I wanted out. Completely. No more archaeology. I handed all my stuff over to the SGC so they could use it. I told Jack and Sam that love wouldn't hold out forever. Love won't wait for you. Time is gone before you know it. I told them good luck and I'd always be with them. Well, not always. I told them I was moving very far away to start a new life. I didn't want to remember any of the past and asked that they didn't try to get a hold of me. It's not so much that it would hurt me, but I didn't want to hurt them. Though I did by saying this, but not by letting them know that I died. Killed myself. It would tear them apart more knowing that. I don't know if Teal'c would have understood. The team didn't take it so well when Oannes gave them the memory of me burning to death. They did sell my things pretty fast though. Part of me didn't want them to know of my suicide because of just getting over Janet's tragic death. After so many deaths, it just tears people apart. Working at the SGC, I knew there was going to be a lot of deaths, but I never wanted to believe it. So I decided to end the pain. I hope they forgive me when they find out what I have done. This, dieing, is the best way out of it all. I get to watch over those that are still alive and be with those who are already dead. With them I can wait for the others to join us. Hopefully it'll be a nice long wait. Jack in the living world was enough.
Working in the Stargate program was the most amazing thing I have ever done. I knew my theories on the pyramids and aliens were true. I put what I knew to work. I met my wife, Sha'uri, on Abydos. I remained back on the planet with them as the team went home. We didn't know at the time that the stargate went to more then one planet and that there were more enemies. There were more Goa'uld and Jaffa. After Ra the sun god, died, we thought we were free. Then Apophis came. Teal'c was his first prime. I don't blame Teal'c for taking Sha'uri as a possible host. She became host to Ammunette. The ones that weren't chosen to be her host were either killed or became a slave. It may sound bad but it would have been better to be killed than to be a host, not be able to control our bodies, and watch as a creature inside of us hurt others. Even people they loved. Sha'uri had given birth to the harcesis child. The child had all the knowledge of the Goa'uld before it. It was quite a burden. We began to search for the child. His knowledge would be of great help to us. Sha'uri in a way told me to search for the boy while she had me under the ribbon device. I didn't want to listen at first I was about to give up on space travel and just stop it all together. Teal'c killed Sha'uri. I didn't want to forgive him because I loved her. I still do. I can't explain what happened with Sha'uri, but if it wasn't for her telling me what I needed to do, I don't think I could have ever moved on. We buried Sha'uri on Abydos where she belongs. As for me, all I knew was that she was free and I didn't have to search for her anymore.
I moved on. I didn't think I could have loved anyone else, but I did. She didn't know it though. At least I don't think she did. Janet was a miracle doctor. I was always in the infirmary. That's probably how it began. Who knows for sure? A Jaffa killed Janet too. She was all about saving lives. I don't think she ever saw it coming. She was trying to save another soldier. He lived because of her. He named his daughter Janet. He swore he was having a boy. He begged me to videotape a message for his family because he thought he was going to die. So I did. I wasn't to far into it when a shot came out and hit Janet. I got it on tape too. I kept calling for medics, but it was to late she was gone too. I've been in a daze lately. Death has been my life. I wonder what would have happened if I didn't get into archaeology. I shouldn't have. It killed my parents. I never would have go to Abydos and met Sha'uri or in the Stargate program and met Janet. I told General Hammond I wanted out. Completely. No more archaeology. I handed all my stuff over to the SGC so they could use it. I told Jack and Sam that love wouldn't hold out forever. Love won't wait for you. Time is gone before you know it. I told them good luck and I'd always be with them. Well, not always. I told them I was moving very far away to start a new life. I didn't want to remember any of the past and asked that they didn't try to get a hold of me. It's not so much that it would hurt me, but I didn't want to hurt them. Though I did by saying this, but not by letting them know that I died. Killed myself. It would tear them apart more knowing that. I don't know if Teal'c would have understood. The team didn't take it so well when Oannes gave them the memory of me burning to death. They did sell my things pretty fast though. Part of me didn't want them to know of my suicide because of just getting over Janet's tragic death. After so many deaths, it just tears people apart. Working at the SGC, I knew there was going to be a lot of deaths, but I never wanted to believe it. So I decided to end the pain. I hope they forgive me when they find out what I have done. This, dieing, is the best way out of it all. I get to watch over those that are still alive and be with those who are already dead. With them I can wait for the others to join us. Hopefully it'll be a nice long wait. Jack in the living world was enough.