Title: Hurry Back Tonight
Pairing: Cosima/Delphine
Summary: Something's wrong with Cosima. Delphine just can't open her eyes to see what it is. Cophine.
Notes: Just watched Orphan Black for the first time yesterday. Was assaulted with feels. Decided to write this. Title is taken from the song Kiss me in the Morning by Stereo Skyline.
xoxo
They have Fee's apartment all to themselves that night. It seems like they get given their alone time far more often these days. Delphine doesn't really question it. She learns not to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially not when it means that she can have much needed time with Cosima.
It has been almost two weeks since whatever respiratory disease that had plagued her girlfriend had miraculously disappeared. Delphine had woken up one day, the nagging worry still eating at the back of her mind about if that day would be her last with Cosima, and found the dreadlocked girl looking chipper and bright, telling her that she feels absolutely fine. There hadn't been a single cough of blood that day. There hasn't been for the past two weeks.
Delphine had been elated, of course, and she had asked for answers. Cosima had given her a flippant explanation about having accidentally triggered a passive code in their genome. Truthfully, Delphine had only been half-listening. Her eyes had been watery with happy tears and her heart had been beating erratically. The last she had remembered feeling like that had been when Cosima kissed her, so she had decided to just settle things with the locking of their lips.
Now, she's settled in front of her laptop, Cosima's own opened just beside her. Said girl is out somewhere, buying ice cream for the two of them. They'd planned on spending the night pigging out on sweet, cold dairy and playing some cheesy flick on the background while they make out. Really, it's the perfect plan and Delphine is bubbling with excitement.
The metal sliding doors open and Cosima appears with two plastic bags in hand. Delphine is up in an instant, pulling her girlfriend close to her and letting the bags fall to the table. "I missed you, mon cheri," Delphine lets her lips spell the words in kisses down Cosima's throat. The brunette chuckles lightly and softly pushes Delphine back.
"I missed you too, but the ice cream will melt," is her excuse as she scurries away. She moves to the counter, a noticable distance from the couch where Delphine is residing. The blonde frowns for a moment, before she wipes it away. Every day she has with Cosima is a gift, she has to treasure it.
A few minutes later finds the two of them on the couch, with Delphine resting her arm on Cosima's shoulder. The brunette doesn't settle her weight on the older woman as she usually does, but Delphine chalks it off to Cosima needing to grab the remote for some reason. She finds that she's doing it a lot; the making excuses for Cosima. She shakes it off. Think good things, Delphine. Think good things.
They end up watching the movie to the end, which makes Delphine's stomach sink. As soon as the closing credits roll, Cosima is out of the couch and taking out the disk. Once the task is done, they're left in the silence and dim light, both unsure of where to step next. It's this awkward tension that brings a shiver of dread run down Delphine's spine. She runs a frazzled hand through her hair and walks towards her girlfriend. Her arms snake around Cosima's waist and as she settles her front into the brunette's back, she feels how Cosima stiffens. "Cosima?" she asks, worry lacing her tone.
Her voice must have sparked something inside the brunette as she quickly turns around and smashes her lips against Delphine's. It feels different somehow, lacking in something Delphine can't quite place. Cosima pushes them towards the couch, and as Delphine falls into the cushion, she waves all her worries away.
xoxo
"This isn't healthy anymore, Fee," her heavy British accent seeps through the words spat into the phone. She runs a hand down her face, releasing a breath of... Of what? Worry? Guilt?
"I know- Bloody hell, Felix, of course I understand." Her voice is growing louder now as her nerves grow even more frazzled.
"Fee, don't start. You- Felix! - You have no idea how hard this is for me. No- No, dammit. I'm not going to- No, Fee. I swear, if you call put her on the phone, I'm going to grab your bollocks and- Wait, no. No, Ali- Whatever, I'm hanging up."
xoxo
Delphine doesn't move from beneath the covers, keeping still as to not let the other girl become aware of her woken state. Silent tears run down her cheeks and wet the pillow beneath her head. Her eyes find the lousily done dreads and the glasses set on the bedside table. She sees it all, she does, but she doesn't want to. Her heart is pounding so fiercely that it feels as if it might stop at any second. Her vision is quickly growing blurry as a fresh wave of tears escape her eyes.
The brunette lifts the phone from her ear and Delphine quickly draws the covers over her head to hide her state. She doesn't want to see it. She doesn't want to. She knows she won't be able to live if she lets herself see.
xoxo
"How long do you plan on keeping up this charade?" Felix demands.
"As long as I need too." At her brother's unamused expression, Sarah waves her hands around in sheer desperation. "Look, she needs this. I'm not going to just let her lay waste. Co-She wouldn't want that."
"She also wouldn't want you to pose as her to her completely mentsl girlfriend."
She waves the boy away, her eyes falling on the still sleeping figure on the bed. It hurt to look at her, but she knows that the ex-monitor is hurting even more. It's been three weeks since... Sarah lets out a long sigh as she moves toward the bed, another day of playing chameleon. She can do this. She can do this for her sister.
xoxo
Delphine wakes up to the feeling of arms wrapped around her. It's different, she knows, but she pushes the thought away. She turns around to face the brunette, a lazy smile on her face. "Good morning, mon cheri."
Cosima returns a toothy smile of her own, hand shooting out to tuck a few strands of blonde hair behind Delphine's ear. "Good morning to you too, Dr. Cormier."
The name makes a part of Delphine's wall crumble. She feels it. She damn feels everything, and it hurts. Her heart feels like it's being ripped apart all over again. She rests a hand against pale cheeks, carressing the face that looks exactly like her beloved. But it's not the same. It will never be the same.
Despite it all, she rests her head on the other girl's shoulder, whispering her name like a silent prayer. Tears threaten to break free from Sarah's eyes as she watches the girl break down in front of her, a shell of who she had been before.
"Mon ame est a vous, mon cheri," Delphine sobs. "Hurry back to me, Cosima."
Sarah doesn't say anything. She just holds the blonde close until the sobs subsided and she had fallen into sleep again. Only them does she say what she needs to say.
"I'm sorry, Delphine. It's too late."
xoxo
Afternote: I saw the post on tumblr, the one about Sarah portraying as Cosima to comfort a grieving Delphine.. And I thought why not give it a try. Cheers, loves.