A/N: This is the ficked version of Misslane incredibly beautiful vid of Hello she posted a while back on her vimeo page. She let me wrote this version and I've shared with her my ongoing work as well as the final edition but this story, as well as the characters portrayed here, isn't mine, nor the plot, nor the idea nor the portrayal of it. I only own my words and the nervousness I've been feeling ever since she told me if I wanted to write such story.
The vid can be found here, just remove the () and you will be able to see it: h(tt)ps(:) /(vimeo).com(/1465)22(345)
Hello (from the other side)
The road was wet with the rain that still could be smelt on the air that filtered through the open windows of the battered old yellow car. For a small moment Regina let herself smile a little; the green of the forest around her, the smell of rain and cold, embracing her like an old lost friend that had finally come back home.
However, the moment was short lived when the beginning of the road towards Storybrooke appeared in front of her, the trees seeming to suddenly bend towards the road. As long dark fingers trying to grab the car, the until now pale but warm light turning grey, opaque, filled with the same sadness that made Regina swallow and look briefly at her right side where Henry glanced back at her. His head bobbing up and down once, his own eyes drowning with the same grief the brunette had never been able to shake it off ever since they had left the town.
Clenching her hands around the steering wheel the former queen found herself swallowing back the tears she had believed at the beginning of their trip that she had finally managed to put under control. Henry's larger hand grabbed one of her and squeeze it, the boy, now a fully grown-teenager, chocking back something that sounded painfully like a sob for a second, the air inside the car seeming to be darker than before as the wheels of the car kept moving forward, running away from the beginning of dusk that seemed to make the shadows grow by the second.
"It looks exactly the same" Henry whispered and even if he didn't elaborate Regina nodded, remembering the day in where, a year ago, they had packed every single aspect of their lives and had abandoned Storybrooke, for good. The shadows of that day had also been large, like specters of places and people Regina hadn't wanted to think much about, like the ghost of a city that couldn't hold back its queen anymore, like the phantom of a place that had had too many memories, too much grief, to keep standing anymore, like the memory of an old nightmare that now only hurt instead of frighten.
Like…
Regina sighed and clicked her tongue, tears starting to fall down as she kept driving, Henry looking at her for a second before returning his eyes back to the road, not knowing what he could do, feeling powerless once again.
Powerless like the night in where Arthur had come, dagger on his right hand, cruel smile on place and the thirst of blood and revenge glowing on his eyes…
The man in front of the group wasn't the Arthur that they had known from the Legends nor the kind King they were barely able to remember from Camelot. The man in front of them was ruthless, cruel, and as Regina had stood in front of Henry, protecting him with one hand, everyone in the room felt dark hate oozing out of him, his right hand showing proudly the blade of a dagger that made Regina tremble with hurt and worry, her bottom lip trembling slightly as she waited for the inevitable, her hands searching for Henry's, magic starting to swirl inside the mayoral's office as Snow and David also took a step forward.
But they had been powerless and as Arthur called for Emma, his voice cold, the blonde's title falling from his lips like spilled blood and cold venom, Regina trembled, not out of fear but out of worry, out of despair.
And so the office disappeared and with it the cold of Regina's vault was the next thing she knew, Excalibur glowing menacingly under the lights of the torches that seemed to paint everything in dark and red, blood and death.
She found herself restrained, Emma's green eyes looking directly at her, her frame seeming as consumed as ever, the shadows painting her face in dark against the whiteness of her skin, the pale memory of the human she still was behind the magic that now lived inside her body, lurking, waiting, swirling.
"You see" Arthur said with a cold smile, tilting his head towards Excalibur, his voice making Regina to break the contact with Emma, her hands now feeling as cold as ice. "I don't mind what happens, your majesty" The title was said in mockery, full of venom and hatred, one that Regina had learnt to live with long ago "Excalibur will be mine and I don't mind who pays the price, if you…or her"
Emma trembled at Arthur's side, the lights that bathed the vault showing her eyes, searching for Regina, a plea on her pupils, blood red lips parting for a second before Arthur clutched the dagger, a shudder making the blonde stiffen, looking like a puppet without strings.
Regina didn't try to fight against her restraints, fully knowing that it was as useless as trying to do anything else. And yet, as Arthur moved, approaching towards the rest of the dagger, the titillating light of the blade blinding Regina for a second, whispers of rotten promises reaching her ears, she only sneered, not wanting to give the man the opportunity to see her plea.
Even though she was trembling like a leaf.
"Arthur" She enunciated, the slight accent of her voice thickening, her eyes locked solely on Emma even though she kept talking to the man, her mouth burning as well as the rest of her body, magic starting to caress her insides, recognizing one that could easily fell to the other side. "You don't have to do this"
Regina clenched the steering wheel even more tightly, her wrists trembling due to the exertion, her eyes, even though looking straightly at the road, blind to the rest of the world.
Arthur had looked at her with the resentment and pity of the one that looks to dragons and sees them like bugs, the magic already consuming him. Turning to look back at Emma he raised the dagger, a menacing glint on his eyes, a blubbery laugh on his lips as he talked again.
"Time to decide dark one, your life or hers"
Regina felt the cupric tang of blood on her mouth, her teeth opening new wounds on the sides of her cheeks and tongue, the wounds never as painful as the scream that still seemed to wait there, in her throat, accusing her, guiltying her. At her side Henry looked at her, mentally thinking on the amount of distance they still had until they reached the other side of the road, it was still too much.
"I choose her, I love her"
"No!"
The scream always came back to her, the echo on the vault, the sudden cold she had felt back then, the way those magical restraints seemed to bite down on her wrists as she tried to fight against them, her chest feeling about to crush under her heartbeat, her unseen eyes picturing Daniel, picturing herself, full of hate, of rage, full of something that still couldn't explain nor understand.
The scream, Regina thought, not seeing the way the sky kept darkening, a long overdue welcome embracing them back.
"Mom?"
"I will always love you Regina, I will take care of you from the other side"
A spark, a scream and then, darkness. And pain.
The air smelt like earth and rain and it didn't make her feel welcome anymore but sad and tired and dirty, dirty with the soil that she had thrown on that wooden coffin, its polished surface staring back at her as she had tried not to cry in front of it, Emma's arms seeming so far away in that moment that she had felt herself drowning in self regret. In doubts, in despair.
"Mom?"
She had tried so hard that day, to not cry in front of the coffin as it was pulled down on the crypt Regina would practically never be able to see after that, a shudder running through her spine, her eyes swimming in tears as she had clutched Henry, his own body trembling with silent sobs, both David and Snow looking at the coffin in silence, one hand interlaced with the other, their frames hovering over the coffin.
They had lost their daughter twice, Regina still could remember her words, the words that had haunted her day and night until they had transformed into one of the many other nightmares that she couldn't shake it off anymore.
"Mom!"
Regina blinked, realizing that she had been crying and she couldn't remember when she had even started, her brown eyes now staring directly at the town line, Storybrooke's sign looking back at her.
"We have crossed" She said, her hands feeling stiff, almost like they weren't her own, her voice too soft, too fragile all of sudden and she looked at Henry, the boy who had needed to see two of his parents die in front of him in less than a year, smiling weakly at him, the car immobile.
"Yes, we have" Henry replied sullenly.
After a year they had come back there, after a year of too many hidden memories and choked back tears.
After three years of silence, of death. And as Regina started the engine again, the purring sound of the bug making her almost want to stop the car once again, the smell, the feeling suddenly too much for her. She could picture Emma all those years before crossing the town with Henry at her side, a book on the boy's lap and too many secrets that they would unveil, that they would destroy and discover, that they would create.
The penchant on her neck burned, a pull on it making her play with as she had done a thousand of times back in California, the sun never managing to make her feel warm again. Not like Emma had done.
"Welcome back to Storybrooke" Henry said and Regina grabbed his forearm, squeezing it in a gesture so Emma that both mother and son looked at each other, a secret, sad, smile on their faces.
"Welcome back"
Archie had told them, looking as sympathetic as he could while hugged Snow and David, his eyes searching Regina, that everything needed time, that healing was something that occurred day by day, little by little almost imperceptibly. Regina hadn't believed those words and as weeks turned into months and the same despair and sadness kept eating her from the inside she realized that it was the place, that it was Storybrooke what made her heart ache.
The city, the one that had been her refuge from so many years, the place in where she had learnt how to be a different person than the one she had been, was now a jail, a prison, a constant reminder of a certain blonde whose eyes would never open again.
She had found herself unable to go to the mausoleum alone, unable to look at the coffin, to admit any more death, to admit the thousands of miles, of time and realm that laid between her and the woman that had helped to admit back a Regina she had thought to be dead years ago.
That had been the reason why, two years after Emma's sacrifice she had started, slowly but surely, to pack every single thing away. At first it hadn't been planned, she hadn't exactly thought about leaving the city, not consciously at least. But then…
Then she had found herself looking at a photo that someone, probably Henry, had taken of Emma; the gray picture showing the woman with a cup of tea between her hands, a shy smile on her lips, eyes looking directly at Regina, almost as if she could actually see the brunette. And so the former queen had looked around her and noticed that the mansion, the mayoral office, the city, wasn't her home anymore but just a shadow in where she let herself live with the memory of Emma lurking in every shadow, bleeding through her still open wounds, through her still raw throat in where a scream was still trapped, unable to free itself.
She hadn't cried in that moment nor when she had looked at Henry and had seen the same tired resignation on his eyes, shadows and ghosts also pullulating his pupils. She hadn't cried nor hadn't she said anything else and soon enough the last remains of their live there was in different boxes, a promise of, perhaps, a better life.
She hadn't tried to forget Storybrooke, she hadn't tried to abandon Emma. She hadn't tried to run away.
She had just needed space, a place in where everything wasn't as…
Regina sighed as she drove Emma's bug through Storybrooke, the city looking the same, as always had been and for a second, a tiny minute second she almost could imagine that everything had been just a dream and Emma would be waiting for the two of them at the station, a smirk in place and some salacious joke on her lips that she would whisper on Regina's ear before blinking guiltily at their gagging son.
She almost fell for that, almost. But then people started recognizing the car and the grave looks and sometimes gasps that could be heard as the little yellow bug kept moving forward was enough to make Regina realize that there was no Emma, no sheriff waiting for her at the station with open arms and stupid jokes that she would end up smiling at anyway.
"Where are we going?" Henry asked and for his own subdued tone Regina knew that she wasn't the only one that had been tricked by Storybrooke's apparent stillness.
The word "home" got stuck on the brunette's throat so she only tilted her head, Henry nodding after a second, his eyes dark and stormy as well as hers.
When they had drove away and left Storybrooke behind them it had only been the Charmings there to say goodbye, grave looks and tired faces the last thing Regina had seen before closing tightly the doors of Emma's car, the last possession of the woman, one that Regina hadn't had had the heart to abandon. It was the car in which Emma had arrived to the city, the place in where the blonde and herself had been back with Zelena's first arrival, a car that was so uniquely Emma that Regina simply couldn't forget about it nor left it on a city that was cold and not home anymore, not for them anyway.
Snow hadn't tried to stop them, strangely, and after a long look shared with her husband she had nodded, muttering that they would actually stay, not able to left Storybrooke behind, not yet. Regina hadn't pointed out that without someone who had magic on her veins they wouldn't exactly be able to left the place altogether, not without her, but when Snow had looked at her she had realized that they knew that and still didn't want to leave.
Once with Storybrooke behind them Henry had turned to look at her and had grabbed the map, the last shimmering barrier between them and the city fading away.
"Where to?" He had asked and so they had arrived to California, a place far away from Storybrooke, a place in where Regina had thought that they could start over.
She hadn't tried to forget about Emma, she hadn't tried to left her past behind. She had only tried to be happy, she had…
"Mom, stop" Henry's gentle voice was what made Regina blink away her thoughts, the mansion in where she had spent more than 30 years in looking back at them from the other side of a rather unkempt garden. Setting her jaw and closing the engine of the old battered car the couple looked at each other and nodded, the teenager swallowing a few times before opening the car's door like he did every time Regina took him somewhere, a shadow of the boy he had been obscuring his features, making Regina want to hug him tightly against her and turn back, dread and pain starting to filter inside of her.
"Let's go?" She asked instead and when Henry finally nodded the two of them opened the car's doors, stepping outside and looking at the house they had left a year ago.
"Do you think grand…? Mary Margaret had been here from time to time like she promised you?" Henry asked, circling the car and looking at the house's windows with a brow arched in a manner so hers that Regina's lips turned upwards, unable to stop the proud feeling that filled her chest. Emma had always joked about the boy being definitely more Regina's than hers on such mannerisms and for a cruel second Regina almost turned to her side, waiting for Emma to point that out.
"I guess we will need to go inside and see" She finally answered after a heavy loaded seconds, Emma's figure disappearing on her mind, her last words echoing inside her once again, the promise the woman had made over three years ago coming on full force.
"I will always love you Regina, I will take care of you from the other side"
She didn't cry but a sigh escaped her lips as Henry nodded slowly in front of her. She had so desperately wanted to believe in those words, especially the first days after what had happened, Emma's green eyes and soft smile the last thing she thought before trying to sleep.
It had been the same on California though, no matter how far away she was from Storybrooke the nightmares and sleepless nights were always there, waiting for anything to come back; the fleeting perfume of cinnamon floating in the air, a green eyed woman looking at Regina, Emma's name arriving at the brunette's ears, the memory of soft yet strong hands touching Regina every time she tried to sleep…. It had been everything and she hadn't been able to left that behind, forever playing with the penchant on her neck, tears falling every time Henry didn't look at her, unable to cry in front of the rapidly developing teenager whose eyes seemed as sad as Regina's and whose voice was rarely heard on the new house Regina had found for them in those days they had been traveling across the country, silence and occasional words being shared between them, unable to do anything else.
And as Regina walked through the mostly empty house, memories of Emma hitting her as strong as magic blows, she realized that yes, she had run, away from the pain, away from the memories away from Emma.
"I will go and see her" She said, a quiet mumble that Henry, being in that moment eyeing the living room heard, a stiff and strange expression changing his eyes. Regina didn't need to tell him who she was going to visit but the boy didn't move when Regina kissed his temple and hugged him, a part of her mind thinking on how tall the once short boy had grown.
Henry had been as unable as Regina to go back to that place after the ceremony, lurking outside the place but never actually entering and a part of Regina, albeit guiltily, understood the boy too well.
"I will go to the decks" He said after a few more seconds of silence "Grand… Mary Margaret and David are still probably working and…"
"You don't want to be here" Regina thought for him even though the boy didn't finished the sentence, pain and regret flashing inside his pupils. They hadn't abandoned Emma but for a second it felt like it and Regina felt the pressure of tears and sobs hitting against the back of her throat once again, her voice failing for a second as she tried to reassure her son.
"Will you be ok?"
Henry nodded at that, his mind already too far for Regina to reach it and the former queen was left wondering when Henry had changed so much, when everything had changed so much.
And when she left the place in a puff of purple magic –astonished that she still had it in her after a year of not only not sensing magic but actively avoiding it- and found herself looking at the empty and cold mausoleum she knew the answer.
Emma.
The place smelt like dust and cold, the rustle of old leaves played by the wind the only thing that could be heard on the emptiness of the place, the hollow sound of the wind sometimes reaching Regina's ears. A distinct sound that made her body tremble as she stood there, in the middle of the graveyard, one single rose magically appearing between her fingers as she did so.
The doors of the mausoleum closed behind her silently, the cold only growing as she approached the coffin in which time had already taken its toll here and there. The blonde's name was visible with the date of her death at one side, a one single lily craved below it.
"Unique, maybe even special"
Regina bit her lips, tears already too close to be shed that she felt the air of her lungs abandoning her, her insides burning.
"I've missed you" She finally said, softly, as she put the rose on top of the coffin, her hand caressing the wood. She had asked to put the coffin on the mausoleum after the ceremony, having the option of being able to see Emma and not just a mere tombstone whenever she needed to talk with the blonde. Not that she had been there much, pain too strong, too jarring to make it possible.
With idle fingers she kept caressing the coffin, eyes burning, a sob fighting its right to be heard on the empty place.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to come here" She whispered, a muted sound but yet still strong enough to echo slightly on the place, the rose's petals trembling as she bent her body over the coffin, her lips millimeters away from the flower, her breath caressing it as she spoke. "I'm sorry I couldn't visit you more often I… needed space"
The coffin remained impassible and Regina lost how much time she spent there, just watching the rose, a few millimeters above the coffin's cover, dried sobs coming out of her mouth from time to time.
"I will talk with Henry, see if he wants to come" She said after a few more moments "He misses you, as much as I do"
Caressing the cover she kept talking, her voice gaining strength as she did so and for a second she almost could imagine Emma in front of her, a smile, a touch away.
"Don't worry, he still loves to drink chocolate with cinnamon, and I've yet need to make him see that grilled cheese is not a whole, healthy meal. He has your smile… and your dimples. I'm trying to make him learn how to drive but… he doesn't seem to like the perspective a lot"
Emma remained silent but Regina felt the ache lessening, as if the talk helped her, as if Emma was actually there, laughing and pouting and just being the woman the former villain had fallen in love with.
"He has grown so much… he wants to have his hair slightly longer but I'm not too keen on that. I'm sure you would be telling him that it would be… cool."
That made Regina laugh, sobs starting to become too strong for her to keep talking. She was sure that Emma would approve Henry's desires of having longer hair and with a few well-placed words the blonde would probably be able to make Regina cave. The perspective hurt but not as much as the need she felt of just being hugged by Emma, just see the other woman smile and know…
"We went to California" She spoke after her sobs subsided "Too much sun but it was… different. We managed to be…"
Not happy, content maybe but she didn't want to say that outload. "It was good" She finally said, a sad smile on her face, slowly straightening her back once again. "But we needed to come back, see you."
And you aren't here
Biting her bottom lip Regina turned, tears falling down her cheeks freely now, a final quiet sentence escaping her lips.
"I haven't forgotten you Emma"
And so she walked towards the door, opening and closing it behind her with tears clouding her vision. And if she had stayed one more second, if she had turned to look around, she would have seen the shimmering light of magic coming out below the door's slit, the smell of cinnamon floating in the air.
But she didn't.
She had spent so much time with her eyes closed, not expecting anything, not feeling anything, than when she finally heard her name she needed a few seconds to regain her consciousness. Not that she felt as if she had one anymore. Opening her eyes it was as if something was pulling her from behind, everything feeling as if she was looking at something that was below the surface of a river, shimmers and muted sounds reaching her ears but not clear enough.
Closing her eyes a few seconds and opening them again she turned, expecting that the whiteness her body seemed to be surrounded in disappeared. It did take her a few more seconds but then the complete blankness of the world around her starting to vanish, leaving her in the middle of a room she knew quite well looking at the back of a brunette she also recognized without a problem.
"Regina"
The brunette, however, didn't turn to look at her and as she looked down, confusion hitting her, she suddenly remembered the moments her mind had tried to preserve from her, a scream and pain echoing through her body for a second, her last seconds on earth and the promise she had made the only thing that prevailed at the end.
"Regina" She said again, this time almost a whisper on her mind, one she knew the brunette wouldn't be able to listen… and would never be.
Regina eyed the mayoral office, boxes and papers that she had left behind still propped up on one corner of the room. It looked as if Snow had kept the place untouched and a part of her wondered who had been her successor or if Storybrooke had just kept working itself with the aid of magic like it had almost been working for 28 years before Emma's arrival.
Emma… the name still made her want to cry and as she clenched her hands and let her arms fall limp at her sides she thought again on the smell of roses and cinnamon, the smelt she was beginning to link to the blonde every time she tried to think about her, a smell that almost seemed to be lurking on some part of her clothes since she was able to sense it again.
The sudden breaking of glass didn't made her jump but the swirl of magic her whole body sensed did and so she turned, magic already buzzing on the back of her head, waiting for a single command to be summoned on the palm of her hand. The million shreds that had been one of her mirrors until a few seconds ago looked back at her, her red-rimmed eyes reflected in each piece, making her swallow as she crouched in front of them.
Magic, she could sense it, she could…
She hold her breath, suddenly nervous as she saw Regina in front of her, looking at the piece of glass with an unreadable expression. She looked tired, older perhaps, and she wondered how much time she had been… asleep.
No, not asleep, she thought shaking her head. But she seemed unable to say it and so she bit the tip of her tongue. Regina looked so close from her and yet so far away that it hurt and it didn't matter how many times she screamed her name; the brunette would never hear her.
Unless…
Regina felt the same rush of magic washing over her body, her breath getting trapped on her throat when the surface of the shard she had been holding until now fogged, a tentative set of letters starting to be written in the surface, a shuddering breath escaping her lips when she saw the word.
Hello
Her vault had been cold, the stone she had been propped against the only thing that hold her as she eyed the magical chains, Arthur looking as smug as ever while Emma…
Emma's eyes were bright with unshed tears, a thousands of I love yous and sorrys escaping her pupils and Regina had felt joy of seeing her again, alive, and worry because Emma looked as consumed as Regina felt and for a second, a single second…
Regina blinked, realizing that, at some point, she had seated next to the door of her…. Of the office that had been her own, glasses around her and a million cuts on her palms, memories flooding her mind, drowning her until she couldn't take anymore.
Emma. It must have been… even if it wasn't possible, even if death was death. She knew that, she had spent all her years as a queen trying to search for a solution. Death was death and no one was able to escape from it.
And yet…. She wanted desperately to be Emma and not some kind of convoluted plan from someone, she needed to be the blonde, her blonde, the woman who had scarified herself selflessly without a doubt, leaving everything behind with just a promise. She needed to believe it because… who else could be as stubborn as her? Who else could escape from the death?
She let out a blubbery smile, a sob breaking the silence in which the office now was. The piece of glasses remained silent at her side but she still could feel that magic, that presence. Perhaps it had been everything a trick from her mind, she thought, eyeing the pieces and fear and doubt beginning to lurk inside of her. Perhaps that was the final signal that she indeed had died that night on her vault, that she was already too far gone, perhaps it had been her own magic…
Or perhaps, she concluded, sighing and straightening her shoulders. It had been a dream, one she had needed to believe in.
She looked at the woman and wanted to cry, her hands turning into fists as she saw in the reflection of those brown pupils fear and despair, realization hitting her when she saw the mechanical way in which Regina used her magic in order to replace the mirror, the shards she had used as a way of communication disappearing from the floor in a purple smoke that looked too pale for being Regina's anymore.
Swallowing she saw how the brunette picked up her things and closed the office behind her, not bothering to look at where she was standing.
She needed another plan.
Regina started the engine of the old car and sighed, her hands gently grabbing the steering wheel and maneuvering it carefully, knowing that the car's left side always seemed to need a few more seconds than the right side in order to respond to her commands. Night had already fallen on Storybrooke and a thick curtain of rain was falling from the black and grey sky, the tipping sound of the million drops hitting the car's roof soothing slightly her nerves.
It was impossible, she said to herself, death was death and so as she started driving between the deserted roads of the sleepy town she tried not to let her mind think of any other option. She needed to keep her sane, for Henry, for herself. For Emma.
Emma…
She let out a strangled scream when she saw her old car drove away, Regina behind the steering wheel with tears falling from her eyes even though the older woman didn't look as if she was realizing it. Running behind the car, a part of her speechless and moved that the old bug was actually on Regina's hands even though the former queen had said a million times how much she despised the vehicle, she closed her eyes, wishing, needing, to be seen.
Regina drove, not wanting to look back. The thick rain made her impossible to see anything else than just a few meters ahead either way and so she focused on the road, narrowing her eyes whenever the car passed near a street lamp, the thousands of tiny drops on the windscreen glowing like diamonds making her impossible for a second to actually know where she was.
Suddenly a shadow appeared in front of her, green eyes covered in tears, pale skin and soft pink lips the only thing that she was able to see between the rain and the faint lights of the car's before it disappeared again. However, it was enough.
It was a flash, a shimmer, a reflection that seemed to be there for a second before disappearing just as quickly as it had appeared but as Regina stopped the car abruptly, eyes still searching for the figure that had titillated in front of her, she blinked, realizing that what she had seen wasn't just a dream.
Emma...
She sighed, not sure if she had managed to be seen, the second her eyes and Regina's had locked making her swallow, her pale hands that seemed to disappear every time she moved too quickly clenched into tight fists as the rain fell around her, not even touching her.
A ghost, she finally admitted, she was nothing more than a ghost.
And so she closed her eyes again, the pull she had felt earlier, like a faint call, making her frown. She let the call swipe her out, not sure of what else to do.
… And when she opened her eyes again it was morning, no traces of rain albeit the air was thick with the smell of recently fallen rain, the grass at her feet welcoming her when her body took enough consistence.
"Where I am?" She thought, biting her lips, momentarily noticing that her clothing had changed again.
"Mom said that it was ok to not visit you" The voice that floated through the air was deep, much deeper than what she remembered but she would have recognized that voice no matter what and a part of her heart -her dead heart her mind promptly reminded her-clenched when she saw the tall boy holding a rose in front of her.
He was definitely taller than her, gangly and looking young yet strong with deep eyes and something that made Emma think about his father, about Regina, about herself. She felt rage and tiredness over the fact that Arthur had stolen those years with him, the possibility of seeing him grown into the almost adult that was toying with the rose between his fingers as he looked at the mausoleum, the tombstone Mary Margaret and David would probably have put in front of it –probably in order to respect Regina's decision to bury her there without any tombstone to come and look at- looking back at him, silent, as he kept talking.
"But I wanted to, I guess I still wasn't ready yesterday… but mom arrived late last night and she… looked different you know? As if something was on her mind but didn't know how to explain it. I didn't push though"
Emma, even knowing that the boy would probably never hear her tried to contain a sob.
"She spent a lot of time talking with Snow over the phone, I guess she needed to talk with someone so today I picked up a rose and… here I am"
Emma didn't say anything, not that she actually had something to say or that Henry would be able to hear it but her throat worked for a few couple of seconds as if something different than a sob wanted to be heard.
"We both miss you" Henry whispered. "We tried to make it work but… we needed to be here, with you. I think mom also knew that when she came here yesterday. I've tried to enter in the mausoleum but… I think I'm still not ready for that. It's mom's space anyway. I think she prefers knowing that you are there, somewhere."
Emma felt the pull already dragging her once again, making her feeble body titillate as Henry left the rose on the tombstone, a tired look on his features as he did so. With one final blink she found herself back on the nothingness, one single though echoing on her mind.
"But I'm here!"
Regina opened the doors of the former office, Snow's voice still on her mind as the chat she had had with her former enemy still swirling in the back of her mind. No, Emma hadn't showed up in any form or way since they had abandoned Storybrooke, no, magic hadn't been a problem and no, no evil villain Regina needed to work with. Apparently Storybrooke's had been enjoying one of her largest periods of peace since the first curse had been lifted.
By the end of their conversation Snow eyed her with worry but Regina didn't let her that bother her. Death was death but if she had been the only one able to pick up the magic that still felt somewhere in Storybrooke like a phantom shadow moving from one place to another from time to time maybe that was because she was the only one expected to feel it.
Blinking, she found herself looking at a softly crying Henry whose clothes covered in mud gave her the clue of where he had been gone the entire morning after their frugal breakfast on the house that wasn't their home anymore. Not without Emma.
"Henry" She whispered, making the teenager nod and look away for a second.
"It's so cold up there" He managed to say. "Do you think…?"
He stopped himself, as if the question was stupid, pointless. But Regina knew that it wasn't.
Emma turned, Henry's voice the one that dragged her out of the whiteness, a single tear falling down her cheek as she heard the deep voice of the boy, still not believing that the young man that was currently being hugged by Regina was the kid she had left behind… how long ago? Four, three years? Time had become an endless and boring line, one she couldn't stop or walk along with it anymore.
Regina blinked and looked around her, sensing the same magic in the office.
"I think I need to tell you something" She said to Henry, slowly and carefully and so full of hope, something that Henry hadn't seen in her since Emma's death, that the boy forgot momentarily about his own fears merely nodding.
"Ok" He said.
Unknown to them a blonde disappeared again, her body dispersing in the air, green eyes still glazed thanks to a million tears that would never be seen nor heard.
Henry eyed the room in front of her, his mother's words still heavy on his mind. The brunette had tried to explain her best as she had been able, watery smiles and trembling hands and for a second he had thought that, perhaps, his mother's tale was only a mere figment of the woman's imagination.
But as soon as his mother had looked at him he had known that not, that there was something there, something they both needed to discover.
"You think she can hear us?" He asked carefully looking ahead of him, thinking if Emma was indeed in that same room, looking at them. He had the heart of the truest believer after all, he needed to believe, needed to be there for his mothers.
After their brief chat on the office they had gone to Snow's apartment, the woman welcoming her with tight hugs and soft yet sad smiles. She also looked older, more tired perhaps and both mother and son had returned her hugs tightly, soft words being exchanged between the two brunettes as Henry went to Emma's old room, the place looking as if the blonde would come back at any given minute, clothes and objects still laying around.
"We still don't know… what do with those" Snow had said and both Henry and Regina had understood that, better than anyone.
"I don't know" Regina finally replied, dark circles under her eyes. The second she had explained her theory to Henry the sleepless night she had had had come back to her, her voice lacking its normal luster as she blinked, tilting her head just enough to touch her forehead against Henry's, a thick lump on her throat. "I hope so"
The teenager nodded and sighed, heavy words weighing down his tongue.
"I do too"
That night the brunette waited until Henry had fallen asleep and went to the living room picking up a box she hadn't opened up yet. Sitting in the middle of the room with her hands slightly trembling she lift the lid of the box and looked intently at one single dreamcatcher, the last one she had been able to pick up after what had happened with Arthur, Emma's magic still strong in it.
"I miss you" She whispered softly to the object, caressing the cords that kept it together, smiling softly as she caressed the feathers that hung from it.
And she did, too much perhaps. When they had left Storybrooke she had picked up the dreamcatcher unable to leave it behind even though she knew that she was going to be unable to use magic at the other side of the barrier. But now she was at the other side of the town line…
A yellow gleam, Emma's magic perhaps, appeared in the middle of the dreamcatcher, pieces of who the blonde had been once slowly starting to unravel in front of Regina's eyes like it had done for the first few years in where everything had hurt and Storybrooke slowly transformed itself into a prison.
The dreamcatcher had been Regina's company those lonely nights in where her screams had been the only thing keeping her awake, Emma's voice echoing once and again on the brunette's empty heart. And now, now that Emma was somewhere the dreamcatcher meant something else, something more, for her.
With trembling lips and unsteady hands she looked at the dreamcatcher, smiling at the sight of a younger Emma, the woman who had once arrived at Storybrooke with the fully intent of staying even though Regina had tried her damn best to make her flee away.
She had been beautiful. Until the very end.
She opened her eyes once again, the place she was in at first unfamiliar as it looked empty and definitely cold, as if something didn't work properly anymore. However, after a few more seconds Emma recognized the place, her eyes widening in surprise as she saw Regina crouched in her seat, her eyes gleaming under the light of the dreamcatcher, images of her past self looking back at her; stranded memories that made her sigh and desire to be able to pick up Regina's hands between hers worsening as she saw the unmistakable redness on Regina's eyes.
She was beautiful, always had been.
Regina didn't know how or when but she felt the prickling sensation of magic around her, almost touching her body, pushing her own magical boundaries. Closing her eyes and turning she saw the same shimmer she had seen the night before on her car, a shimmer that transformed into a flash of green and gold before disappearing once again. Frowning, she stood and walked towards where the shimmer had been, her eyes searching for something, for anything at that point.
And then… in the middle of a soft mist of white and grey a silhouette she knew far too well appeared. Green eyes widening as Regina's lips trembled.
"Emma"
The whisper was soft, broken but full of hope, full of pain, full of something that made the apparition titillate for a second as the woman in front of her, the ghost, nodded.
"Regina"
The dragging feeling overcame her once again making Emma disappear, her presence being washed over by the magic but it was already too late. She had a name, she was real.
And next time she appeared it in front of the brunette's office, the closed door not being a problem to her. And so, when she finally stood in front of the woman the former queen eyed her, soft, slightly pained but still loving, smile playing on the corners of her lips.
And she was hers, hers and only hers.
Regina blinked when the apparition disappeared again, a sigh escaping her lips as she saw the tremulous silhouette blinking for a second too late. The former night she had spent hours upon hours after the ghost had disappeared trying to understand why. And now that she had had the option of seeing Emma once again she almost felt that the reason behind her comeback wasn't important. Just the option of seeing her after years of thinking that the woman would only been a memory, one that would forever haunt her.
She tried to think where Emma would be, where she would have go. She didn't know exactly how apparition worked or how much of Emma's former memories the ghostly blonde had after her death but if the woman was something that was stubborn and so she run, forgetting even the possibility of puffing, towards Snow's apartment, letting herself in without any explanation and grateful of finding the place empty.
She must be somewhere, she thought, she…
A shimmer, just like the others, was what made her look up at the stairs that hovered over the place. A tremulous smile parting her lips as she let herself drown in those green eyes that looked at her from those stairs, fearful expression on that face, face she had been able to trace with her eyes closed.
Arthur hadn't exactly let them have options, he had been adamant that it was either Regina or Emma the one who would need to pay the price. Emma taking care of it hadn't exactly been a surprise either but when Regina had looked at her, tears staining her cheeks, she had realized how exactly the blonde was going to pay that price.
It must have hurt, Regina had thought coldly, almost as if what she was seeing was happening to someone else, her mind unable to process her feelings in that moment. It must have hurt plucking away her own heart considering that Emma's was protected by her own magic. It must have been painful and yet when Emma stood in front of a smirking Arthur and her speechless self she looked anything but pained.
"I will love you, forever"
And then everything had been black and grey, a scream echoing the walls of her vault as she saw how the heart in Emma's hand disappeared, turning itself into dust, Emma falling to the ground, one final magic glow coming out of her the second her head touched the floor of the place, a maniac smile appearing on Arthur's eyes.
And it had been over, too soon, far too soon.
Regina eyed at the now crouched woman next to her. She had talked almost the entire time they had been together and even though she still doubted that Emma was able to communicate with them she found solace on being finally able to talk about the pain, about her sore throat, about her nightmare-filled nights.
And as she cried and tried to appear strong like she had tried to look in front of Henry the night she had returned to his side only to tell him that his other mother hadn't been able to survive she felt a ghostly caress that disappeared almost as quickly as it had appeared. Green eyes glazed with tears that soon enough started to fall through titillating cheeks, not leaving behind any kind of trail, any kind of sound.
It wasn't needed though, the painful sight of Emma crying her heart out, the memories making her crouch in a fetal position, enough to make Regina think that, maybe, they had finally found each other.
Emma blinked, not sure of how she had appeared in front of Regina's bedroom, she still didn't exactly understood where she went whenever she wasn't entirely conscious of herself but the second she opened the door, not sure if Regina would appreciate her appearing out of thin air, she swallowed thickly, looking at the tousled hair and broken breathing of the former queen, nightmares clouding her eyes as their pupils locked, a pained expression breaking the older woman's in two.
"I can't anymore"
As those words came out from her own throat Regina realized in in fact that she couldn't, she couldn't keep going like a ghost herself, forever waiting forever seeing the day in which Emma had made the ultimate sacrifice for her. Not again, not ever.
Emma blinked and disappeared, her body not holding itself together anymore and as a pained sound came out from Regina's own throat the memory of her vault, the one she had tried so hard to keep inside her came back in full force. The cupric taste of blood from when she had bit her tongue trying to fight against Arthur back on her mouth, burning her from inside even if she knew that those memories weren't true anymore.
In a haphazardly state she rose and picked up some clothes, magicking them into her body and barely able to control her sobs anymore. Memories clouded her mind, her eyes, too many things she should have tell Emma, too many things she should have done.
Her son's face was the last thing she saw, the door opened and the teenager eyeing her from the doorjambs, looking tired but concerned, his hands playing with the hem of his shirt in a gesture that made Regina think about Emma, about the way the blonde fidgeted with anything in order to keep her mind focused on anything that required concentration.
"I need to…" She started, sighing and shaking her head. "You mother was here" She finally said and Henry nodded slowly; they had already talked about what had happened hours earlier. "And I need to…"
Silence, she really didn't know what she needed, what she wanted. She only knew that she needed to go, go somewhere, think, do something in order to make her aching chest to stop. Emma was there but not her body, Emma was there but not close enough, Emma was…
"I need to go to the vault" She said, realization hitting her. The vault, as the mausoleum and the rest of the graveyard, had been a place she had tried to not go near it, regret and rage strong enough to make her fearful of the place that had been hers not so long ago.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Henry asked, a concerned look on his eyes. Caressing his cheek and remembering again how mature the boy was Regina shook her head.
"I need to do it alone" She whispered and so Henry let her pass, giving her one last look as the brunette surrounded herself in thick purple magic.
"I will be here" He said, eyeing the empty room.
The vault was mostly empty from magical objects. Someone, probably Gold, had cleaned the place. Not that Regina cared much about that since her eyes were focused on something entirely different than mere books and potions she still remembered how to do it anyway.
The place, even clean and not as cold as she had expected to be, made her tremble, the spot she had been seated close to three years ago making her want to recoil, her mind tricking her into thinking that the shadow casted by the flickering flames of the candles around her was the body of one particular blonde sheriff. She still could remember the second Emma's body had fallen to the ground, Arthur's laugh making her bleed, air being sucked out of her lungs as she eyed the once vivacious blonde's fire disappearing from still open green eyes.
Everything had happened far too quickly, she had barely had had the time to realize what was going to happen when Emma had crushed her own heart. And now, now that she could see the blonde, now that she was able to finally see her after years of waking up and look at the empty side of her bed, wishing, wondering… everything seemed pointless.
With a growl she grabbed one of the many jewelers boxes and looked inside, her hands frantic, not knowing exactly what she wanted, what she needed, until she found a replica of the penchant she always wore around her neck, her hands stopping as she eyed it, tears starting to fall down her cheeks. The penchants could have passed of being the same one for everyone except for Regina, fingers opening it slowly, fearful of what she would find inside; two minuscule photos. The first one had been a photo taken by someone at the dinner, probably Ruby wanting to make fun of the two of them and it had been made under poor lighting; the planes of their faces barely visible as they kissed. The second one was one she still could remember vividly; Snow blushing as the two of them looked at the camera, Emma whispering what she wanted to do with Regina's black dress the second they managed to sneak from yet another party celebrating that they were indeed alive once again after yet another big baddie. She had managed to not smirk at the words, barely.
Emma sighed from where she was, feeling that this time Regina wasn't able to see her, a cold feeling at the back of her head as she eyed the photos next to the brunette, memories of those moments coming back at her.
"I miss you too" She thought, but Regina didn't see her, too lost on her own pain.
What hurt the most, thought Regina, turning and eyeing the dresses she had once wore back on her Evil Queen days, the burning sensation on the tips of her fingers coming back again as she eyed the remains of the life she had lived before Storybrooke, what really hurt was the fact that she felt everything being her fault. The dark magic had come after her, if she would have been quicker, if Emma wouldn't have sacrificed for her…
Rage and despair washed over her, her hands going towards those same dresses towards that person she had been, the one who had started everything, who, in her mind, had started the curse. The sound of ripping clothes and objects being crashed around her making her want to cry even more, carefully avoiding where she had been seated, where she had needed to stop and look at the blonde's death, unable to do something to prevent it, unable to do something to save her.
And then, between shredded dresses and empty potion bottles one single piece of paper fell from the boxes she had there, a shimmer perhaps guiding it even though Regina didn't exactly see it and when she saw what it was a part of her stopped crying, the other one thinking that perhaps fate and destiny didn't hate her as much as she had always believed.
Because, who else could have sent her such spell?
Henry eyed the preparations her brunette mother was making around the big round table, a single candle, white and black, glimmering under the soft lights that casted shadows around the place, air shimmering with Emma's apparition as Regina kept working on the spell, her lips trembling as she memorized the words written there.
Regina had come back to the mansion with doubts arising on her eyes, a soft apology to Henry who had nodded and listened to his mother when the woman had showed her the spell, a spell that, for what Regina understood, provided them with the opportunity of having Emma among themselves once again.
Emma had appeared short after, her voice finally being heard as she softly murmured her agreement to the spell.
Henry had also agreed, knowing that it would probably be the last change both of his mothers were going to have.
"It's quite simple" Regina had said "The candle will bring us back to a point in time before the moment we ask it to jump, the other side of the candle will help us to retain our memories"
"And what would be the price?" The teenager had asked but Regina had remained silent, hard eyes looking at the spell.
"It doesn't matter" She whispered and Henry and Emma shared a look.
"Regina" Emma mumbled softly, her voice sounding as if she was talking at the other side of a very powerful stream of water "Are you sure?"
And Regina's heart indeed stopped because Emma's voice looked similar and yet different than the last time she had heard her and a part of her wanted nothing more but to bury her face on the blonde's chest and listen to the beat of a heart that wasn't there anymore. Perhaps that had been the reason why she had merely nodded, straightening her back, signaling that she would in fact try it, no matter the price.
"This came to me" She whispered "I have never heard of such a spell but it came to me. I need to try it, I need to bring you back"
And so there were the three of them. Snow and David hadn't been able to understand how the spell worked but had also gave her agreement, Snow's eyes clouding with unshed tears the second Emma had appeared in front of her for a second. The blonde hadn't been able to remain on that form for too long but it had been enough for the royal couple.
Henry sucked on his bottom lip as both of his mother seated at the table, Emma's form looking almost translucent as she eyed the brunette at her right, fear written all over her face.
"Will you be ok?"
Henry looked at the ghost and nodded once, realizing that the question was in fact directed at them.
"I will be waiting" He answered with a soft smile.
And so he took a step back as Regina chanted the first lines of the spell, the candle light illuminating her face as Emma nodded and looked around, the prickling feeling of magic growing around the table.
Suddenly a blue and white hole opened up above the two woman, the swishing sound making almost impossible for Regina to be able to keep chanting but as she gave the hole every drop of magic she could muster, her voice breaking as she kept chanting, the passage growled and stilled before a light surrounded the two woman, its power reaching Henry too for one long second.
And then, nothingness.
Emma looked at her phone, mentally calculating the hour, starting to get worried that everything hadn't turned out like it should have done. The night was cold and the watches on the bag at her other hand were starting to feel heavy. Swallowing her nervousness and feeling an already becoming normal nausea hitting the back of her mouth she jumped when she heard her name being called, the brunette woman who looked back at her enough to make every single memory that had been waiting until now emerge, an overwhelming sensation filling every inch of her body.
"I remember" She said and that was enough for the woman, for Regina, to know that the spell had indeed worked. "I remember" She repeated, touching softly her stomach, a gentle feeling of assurance growing inside of her.
"And now you are here" The brunette said, approaching her with wonder written on her eyes, eyes that shone for a second, magic perhaps aiding her.
"The three of us" Emma added.
Storybrooke welcomed the two of them that very same night, the curse being lifted the second Emma crossed the line, eyes still full of wonder, of hope, hope that made the next nine month come and go in the blink of an eye.
And so, when the first cries of both mother and son reverberated through the hospital corridors as Regina waited for her turn the brunette knew that she had done the right thing. Price be damned.
Because, she thought as she entered the room, smiling to Henry, to Emma, the three of them finally reunited like it should have been from the start, Emma had finally found a family, one that would never turn her back.
And she had finally found her home. One she would keep, forever.