TITLE: Xander Knows.
AUTHOR: Jenn
EMAIL: sweetlydarkme@aol.com
SITE: http://www.geocities.com/punk_operation_ivy/
SUMMARY: Just like the title says; Xander knows.
RATING: R for one rude act?
FEEDBACK: I like feedback, some would say I'm a feedback addict; I need my feedback... If you want to give it, that is.
ARCHIVING: If you would like to archive this fic, have you considered mental help? Excluding that, go right ahead. I'm easy, but that's another story...
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Xander, Spike or any of the Whedon Universe.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know I've repeated the word 'Xander' a hell of a lot, and I'm sorry if it bugs the hell out of you... First Spike/Xander (or Spander) fic I've ever had the pleasure to do. Don't burn me; I'm coming back to the world of Buffy after a LONG holiday in Harry Potter Land. Also, this isn't beta'd. Constructive criticism would be appreciated.
Xander knows that Spike doesn't love him; Xander knows that Spike is desperately in love with Angel, proberly has been since the beginning, but Xander knows that he doesn't care.
Xander knows that when he's on his knees, rough carpet or cold, concrete, floors, Xander knows that sometimes Spike isn't seeing him at all. Xander knows that sometimes, with head thrown back, back arching and fingers digging into Xander's scalp, that Spike is seeing another person, another person imprinted on closed eyelids, another person swirling their tongue around the base of his cock and sucking until it hurt. Xander knows that he doesn't care.
Xander knows, knows with a heavy heart, that Spike isn't really going to L.A to track down the Dryad Demon, Xander knows, with a heavy heart, that Spike is going to see Angel. Xander knows, with a heavy heart, that when Spike comes back he'll be quiet and withdrawn. Xander knows that sex won't be something to mention for two weeks at least, Xander knows underneath the clothes, clothes that Spike won't remove in front of Xander, there will be bruises and marks; scratches and bites will mar the pale, perfect, skin. Xander knows that he doesn't care.
Xander knows that Spike is a champion, knows, that when the day comes, Spike will fight on the side of light. Xander knows that Buffy, Willow, Dawn, and Giles, will realises something that Xander has always know, they'll realise Spike is deserving of Xander's love. And when they take Xander aside, Buffy with her small smiles, Willow with her sympathetic eyes and Giles with his years full of wisdom, and when they take Xander aside and whisper into his ear that Spike is using him, Spike is only going to hurt him, they don't know Spike so Xander knows that he doesn't care.
Xander knows his life is better with Spike in it; Xander knows that one day Spike will love him, Xander knows that someday Spike will realise this but if Spike doesn't?
Xander knows that he doesn't care.
AUTHOR: Jenn
EMAIL: sweetlydarkme@aol.com
SITE: http://www.geocities.com/punk_operation_ivy/
SUMMARY: Just like the title says; Xander knows.
RATING: R for one rude act?
FEEDBACK: I like feedback, some would say I'm a feedback addict; I need my feedback... If you want to give it, that is.
ARCHIVING: If you would like to archive this fic, have you considered mental help? Excluding that, go right ahead. I'm easy, but that's another story...
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Xander, Spike or any of the Whedon Universe.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know I've repeated the word 'Xander' a hell of a lot, and I'm sorry if it bugs the hell out of you... First Spike/Xander (or Spander) fic I've ever had the pleasure to do. Don't burn me; I'm coming back to the world of Buffy after a LONG holiday in Harry Potter Land. Also, this isn't beta'd. Constructive criticism would be appreciated.
Xander knows that Spike doesn't love him; Xander knows that Spike is desperately in love with Angel, proberly has been since the beginning, but Xander knows that he doesn't care.
Xander knows that when he's on his knees, rough carpet or cold, concrete, floors, Xander knows that sometimes Spike isn't seeing him at all. Xander knows that sometimes, with head thrown back, back arching and fingers digging into Xander's scalp, that Spike is seeing another person, another person imprinted on closed eyelids, another person swirling their tongue around the base of his cock and sucking until it hurt. Xander knows that he doesn't care.
Xander knows, knows with a heavy heart, that Spike isn't really going to L.A to track down the Dryad Demon, Xander knows, with a heavy heart, that Spike is going to see Angel. Xander knows, with a heavy heart, that when Spike comes back he'll be quiet and withdrawn. Xander knows that sex won't be something to mention for two weeks at least, Xander knows underneath the clothes, clothes that Spike won't remove in front of Xander, there will be bruises and marks; scratches and bites will mar the pale, perfect, skin. Xander knows that he doesn't care.
Xander knows that Spike is a champion, knows, that when the day comes, Spike will fight on the side of light. Xander knows that Buffy, Willow, Dawn, and Giles, will realises something that Xander has always know, they'll realise Spike is deserving of Xander's love. And when they take Xander aside, Buffy with her small smiles, Willow with her sympathetic eyes and Giles with his years full of wisdom, and when they take Xander aside and whisper into his ear that Spike is using him, Spike is only going to hurt him, they don't know Spike so Xander knows that he doesn't care.
Xander knows his life is better with Spike in it; Xander knows that one day Spike will love him, Xander knows that someday Spike will realise this but if Spike doesn't?
Xander knows that he doesn't care.