Fandom: Final Fantasy IV
Pairing: Kain/Cecil
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy IV and all its characters are property of Square Enix Co., Ltd. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes:Written for Vonuberwald.
.
In the sunlight, Cecil seemed pale and wan, but under the moonlight, he shone like a star. He drew lustful gazes to him as a flame attracted sand moths. Even Kain was not immune. Only one person in all Baron was more beautiful than Rosa, and it never sat well with Kain that this person was Cecil, a man, and his best friend. Kain spent his entire adolescence trying to focus his attentions on Rosa with limited success. The fantasy of laying Cecil back on his bed, moonshine hair spread out on the sheets, fair skin smooth and bare for the touching, was not a safe one to have in a provincial kingdom like Baron. Rosa made more sense. It was safe to imagine her on that bed, in Kain's arms, pink lips parted.
When Kain turned eighteen, he discovered that as nonsensical and unsafe as his fantasies of Cecil were, they were far more attainable than the ones of Rosa. Rosa always slipped away from him, looked past him. But it was Cecil, when Kain leaned too close after a night spent in their cups, that looked up at Kain with parted lips. Those lips were blue, almost as if frostbitten, but Cecil did not feel cold when he pressed himself against Kain. When their lips touched, it could be said Cecil felt downright hot-so hot that Kain's hands seemed to burn as he explored every smoothed contour of Cecil's beautiful body.
They never spoke of that night, not even when they awoke in each other's arms, limbs still tangled. The moment they dressed and Kain opened the curtains, the sunlight poured in and erased their night together. Cecil never stood so close to him again and drew away as if burned should their bodies accidentally brush against the other. As time passed, Kain found it safer to believe it a particularly vivid dream he once had. It was a weakness his enemies easily exploited, particularly Golbez. When the devils sat on his shoulder and whispered betrayal into his ear, his dream of Cecil transformed into torment. When night fell, and the moonlight beckoned him to dream again, the devils cackled and scourged his soul with that dream. Cecil had escaped him as much as Rosa had. Neither would ever be his. He had nothing. He was nothing.
When the devils were finally cast from his shoulders and the moon's evil purged from its depths, Kain parted from his friends. Devilish whispers still haunted him, day and night, sunlight or moonlight. It was not until he climbed Mount Ordeals and trained on those monster-ridden heights that those whispers finally quieted. He found the courage to face those he loved once again. He found that courage not when facing himself in the bewitched mirror upon its summit, but afterwards, with his lance in his hands. It was the pure simplicity of defeating monsters that restored his senses to him. He at least had the strength to protect, if nothing else.
When Kain returned to Baron, Cecil and Rosa welcomed him as a friend, even throwing a banquet in his honor. He sat in the guest of honor's chair and politely forced himself to smile at all the passing courtiers, though his gaze never left the royal couple. Cecil alone met his gaze. Rosa instead fixed her attention on the young boy bouncing in her lap. Once, the very sight of Rosa had stirred his heart and his loins, but this was not the beautiful young girl he had fallen for. This was a mother, and it was clear from the shine in her eye that the true love of her life was on her lap.
When Kain sought to escape the post-banquet revelry, he entered an unlit terrace. He found Cecil there, leaning against the parapet, as if he had been waiting for Kain. His beautiful hair shimmered beneath the moonlight, and his gaze shone like the stars. He tilted his head and held out a hand. He offered no words of request or explanation, but none were needed. Nothing about Kain's feelings for Cecil had ever made sense. Cecil could not say anything that would change that.
Kain closed the distance between them in three steps and took Cecil's hand. The blue, frostbitten lips looked as cold as ever, but when Kain covered them with his own, they felt as hot as they had the first time they kissed. Any concern he had over Rosa's reaction, over Baron's conventions, over Cecil's kingship, melted away before that heat. These were questions and issues to deal with tomorrow, under the sunlight. As long as the moon shone, Kain concerned himself only with making Cecil his.
When they awoke the next morning, the sunlight erased nothing, and Cecil and Rosa folded him into their lives as if he had always been there. The devils had been wrong; Kain Highwind had everything.