BIRTHDAY'S BLESSING
It had been a long day.
Amy would never have thought that things could go that way, especially on that day. Especially on Karma's birthday. But she had never been the planner type so everything had gotten out of her hands.
She had tried to arrange the perfect birthday for Karma and things, at least initially, had worked. Amy was so glad to be able to spend time together with Karma making her happy. Only the two of them, as before.
But one of the negative aspects of their friendship was that Amy knew too well Karma and she had noticed straight away that something was wrong. Everything was perfect, everything was going according to Amy's plan, but something was missing. That had been the straw that had broke the camel's back, Amy had realized that she was no longer enough to make Karma happy, now the girl needed Liam too.
So once again Amy's feelings had taken over and had ruined the unstable equilibrium on which it was now based the friendship between Amy and Karma. Amy couldn't handle jealousy any longer so they had ended up fighting.
"I knew that i couldn't be with Liam and keep our friendship", Karma had yelled, tired of pretending not to notice Amy's jealousy.
"Today, it was supposed to be about us!", Amy had screamed.
"Are you serious?", Karma had replied angrily, before leaving.
Now that Amy could think clearly, she knew that she had behaved selfishly. Her jealousy for Karma had made her forget that that day was supposed to be devoted solely to Karma and not to her stupid and senseless need to be reciprocated by Karma.
"Can we talk about it?", Amy asked, hesitating at the door of Karma's room. The other girl was sitting on her bed, giving Amy her back.
"It depends", Karma answered annoyed. "Are you gonna act like a crazy jealous again?".
Amy sighed. "Sorry about that", she apologized, taking a step forward.
Karma finally looked over her. "I guess you want to explain".
"How did you manage to remove all the balls from your room in such a short time? It took me forever to put them in", Amy wandered, uncertain of how to start the speech.
Karma got up and approached her. "Don't change the subject. It was an amazing surprise but right now I need to know what's going on with you".
Amy's voice trembled. "It's these feelings, Karma. I'm trying to keep them down, I'm really am, but it takes just few moments with you and I restart to see you as more than a friend".
"You're jealous of what I felt about Liam", Karma said.
"Yeah and I wish I'm not but I can't help it".
"I knew that it would have happened. I knew that the fact that you love me would have forced me to make a decision. But I don't wanna choose Amy, I can't do it".
"I know you can't, but you should. Actually, you've already chose when you said that you don't love me in the same way I do. You made your choise, even if you don't wanna say it aloud because you don't wanna hurt me, so now it's time for me to step aside".
"I don't wanna lose you, Amy".
"Neither I, but we don't want the same things, Karma".
"I wish I do, really".
"You can't stop your feelings anymore than i can't stop mine", Amy said, doing her best to not burst into tears.
"So, this is it? We are not friends anymore, aren't we?", Karma cried.
Amy frowned. "No Karma, that's exactly the opposite. I'm trying to do the right thing because I want to be a good friend for you. Remember the fortune teller who I hired for your party before?".
"Yeah, she said that a force is standing between me and my love", Karma remembered.
"I can't allow myself to be that force, Karma. I want you to be happy so I won't be the one to to make you stay away from your love".
Karma forced a smile. "Since when do you believe in fortune tellers?".
"Since when they say what I should have realized a long time ago. I give you my blessing, take it as a birthday gift. If you love Liam, you should stay with him".
"Even if it's gonna hurt you?".
"I would suffer more knowing that I'm denying you the happiness you deserve".
Karma leaned forward and hugged Amy softly, wondering if anyone of them really deserved what life was offering them. She wasn't sure she deserves such an altruistic gesture from Amy and Amy certainly didn't deserve to suffer in that way. But she loved Liam, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't reciprocate Amy's feelings.
If only she had loved Amy in the way that she loved her, everything would have been easier. But now there was nothing easy, and probably nothing would have been easy for a long time.
Amy drifted in the embrace, inhaling deeply Karma's scent.
I'll get through it, she thought, one step at a time.
A/N: Thanks for reading and what do you think is gonna happen in the fifth episode? In an interview, Rita Volk has mentioned that there will be an huge Karmy moment in this episode and I think that it's gonna be something like this. But I guess that to know that for sure we've got to wait until tuesday. I can't wait to know what's your opinion.