This one's for you Merlin.
You taught me it was okay to trust again and loved me with each and every scar I come with. You accepted my fault's and loved me all the more for them. You picked me up each time I fell, you've been there through some of my darkest days relentlessly and unfathomably supportive in all my successes and failures. From a hero to a friend to someone I could never rationally think of living without. I love you my Dorothy. I always want to be your scarecrow.
Love, Arthur.
Fireflies and Lullabies
A Fan Fiction by KyoKohitsuji
Beta'd by HeavenlyBodies
Rating: Teen +
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Warnings: M/M slash content
Summary: Merlin runs from Arthur and the judgment he knows will lay with him and his secret. Arthur pursues Merlin and by the light of fireflies and the luck of lullabies they are reunited.
Thick ebony lashes fell against alabaster skin, flawless in its innocence and perfection, suddenly marred by the slow streak of tears.
Thrash. Lash.
The thrashing of pale flesh with hardened stone crumbling beneath a heavy fist. The lashing of the lightning that clashed through midnight blue skies in time with the pounding fist.
Merlin's weary body threw itself again and again against the cold hard wall of the cave he'd taken refuge in. So stupid, so utterly and eternally stupid. Images ran through his fraught mind. Blue eyes going wide and contorting between clashing waves of confusion and astonishment. Those cerulean stormy waves had collided in his eyes in an ocean of betrayal. Something else was present in them… And Merlin knew it was disgust, and worst of all… fear.
His frail weather battered body fell to the floor and his trembling arms wrapped around his legs, pulling his knees to his chest. Merlin was broken and lost in the treacherous world he had created for himself in that single breathless moment. The moment he revealed his true self to his prince.
His prince. He silently scolded himself and threw his shaking body to the ground beneath him. He felt hopeless for the first time in his life as he resigned to knowing he had to now leave Camelot, his home, his friends… his prince….
Once. Thud. Twice. Thud. Three times. Crack.
The world became woozy the third time Merlin threw his head against the jagged rock of the cave he hid in. The stars painting beautiful dreams across the endless night skies became blurred and blinded him as they crowded his vision. Dancing across his eye line was the fading twinkle of a firefly buzzing incessantly before his pathetic presence. Soon he succumbed to the mind numbing pain behind his eyes and closed his eyes to the light, taken by darkness. A welcome escape.
Leaves whipping against sun kissed cheeks. Heavy pounding of hooves on the weather beaten forest floor. Azure eyes sought desperately through the thick bush and fallen trees. Breath heavy on parted lips and the strong thundering of a single minded heartbeat pulsing loudly throughout a warrior's body.
Arthur Pendragon searched endlessly through the thick grounds surrounding his kingdom. He drove his tired horse on mercilessly, but, not a cruel man, eventually he stopped his mighty steed and lashed the reigns to a nearby tree and carried on in his search alone.
The fiery, golden flicker in those wide and terrified eyes was the only image ingrained on his mind's eye. Merlin, his manservant, his friend… his heart's desire. He… oh, god, he'd just stood there while the raven haired man bared his very soul to him.
The atmosphere had been heated as the men had sat by the open fire in the prince's chambers. Whole ages seemed to pass as their eyes had met. Mere moments turned into heated decades and the light of the flames licked their way across that pale cheek of his manservant. He had looked so fragile in amongst the smouldering flames of passion between the two men.
Slash. Snap. Crack.
On the third mighty draw of his sword, the huge branch fell before the fearless prince as he plundered the forest in search of Merlin. The skies were angry and the night was cold… and he was out there somewhere, and it was all Arthur's fault.
On and on through the bitter darkness, Arthur fought till suddenly his feet stilled and his whole body froze. The wind whistled past his ears carrying with them the music of the night. A lone firefly fluttered on the wings of Mother Nature's fury. Delicate wings became bruised and the tiny being made haste to a nearby clearing. He turned. Searching eyes met the jagged outline of a cave, hidden by years and years of untamed foliage.
Not a sound came from the cove, nor a light from within, but somehow he knew. Like a moth to the flame he was drawn to the ragged rocks' reprieve from the cold evening.
All of a sudden his eyes lit up with the flamed blanket of fireflies that dissipated before his gaze within the cave. Those cerulean orbs stayed lit only for mere seconds as he beheld what lay beneath the living curtain of iridescent light.
Merlin.
Laying broken on the cold stone floor of the cave. The prince fell to his knees before the crumpled version of his manservant. His teeth tore at his gloves almost brutally as he reached out for the helpless form before him.
"Merlin, Merlin… oh, of the god's, what have you done?! What have 'I' done to you?!"
Huge strong arms wrapped around Merlin and pulled him onto the prince's lap. Arthur brushed softly along the acute line of his servant's cheekbone and bit back the growing sting of tears behind focused eyes. Focus. That's what he needed now- focus on saving the crumpled human in his arms.
A slow breath painted Merlin's lips with a short visible puff of air before disappearing against the grey tainted lips. The prince had to work fast; he stripped his shoulders of the crimson cloak and wrapped it securely around Merlin's body. A shiver rocked right to the core of him as he saw how the cloak blended with scarlet streaks of blood that painted his servant's angelic face.
Next, he had to reluctantly leave him in search of wood to build a fire. He whispered a soft lull of reassurance to the still unconscious man before taking his leave. Arthur was swift and gathered branches large and small, carrying much more than a normal man would have.
It took mere moments to build a steady structure and light aflame the withered debris of the forest. Returning once more, Arthur had in hand his noble steed and this time nothing could tear him away when he heard a frail whimper that almost resembled his name fall from the lips of his companion.
The prince took his faithful servant in his strong, muscular arms and pulled him closer, till his head lay upon his chest and his body between the prince's thighs. Leaning against the stone wall of their hidden cove, he watched mesmerized by the secret dance of lightning bugs above the flames of his campfire.
Merlin's body was slowly starting to still, tremors were becoming off beat twitches. Soft whimpers fell from his lips and most were pained words which made Arthur's heart ache. He spoke of being alone, of longing for what he lost, of being unworthy. The prince tried to shush him and held him tighter, rocking his frail body slowly. His eyes would flicker open occasionally, so lost and full of tears.
"Sssh, Merlin, I'm here and I'm not leaving you. I swear, I'll never leave you again. Just come back to me… come back to me, Merlin."
Arthur thought of his whole life as he sat there in the dark with the burning embers of the fire creating an orange glow, a memory of soft hands running through his hair when he was a child and afraid of the cruel world developing around him. The sweet affection stood out in his clouded mind and a melody rushed through his ears as though he was hearing it now. A lullaby from years past, a sweet angelic voice that had sung to him when he was scared.
It was so natural as he parted his lips and began to croon the soft melody to the broken man in his arms.
"Toora loora loora. Toora loora li. Toora loora loora. Hush now don't you cry. Toora loora loora. Toora loora li. Toora loora loora, that's an Irish lullaby."
Arthur broke the melody and finally let the tears fighting him tooth and nail, fall upon his cheek. Merlin sighed and nuzzled his face against Arthur's chest. His arms encircled his waist and he almost purred as the prince resumed the soft melody.
Another three endless hours passed with Merlin fluctuating between shivering and crying out in pain, to sobbing into Arthur's chest begging him not to leave. None of his ramblings were lucid. Finally, his raven crown lifted and his eyes met Arthur's. Instantly, the prince new this was the real Merlin, he was back, but how did he feel about everything. Arthur could not blame him for leaving and never returning after the way he'd acted.
His heart sand as their eyes locked in an electric gaze. The atmosphere so thick it caused the prince to double his efforts to breathe steadily.
Merlin's heart was pounding so hard against his chest he thought it was entirely possible it would crash through. He searched those depths of oceanic beauty within Arthur's eyes. Attentively, he reached out with a shaky hand and let his long, elegant fingers brush against his prince's defined cheek. Fingertips continued their soft exploration down to a hardened jaw line.
Arthur couldn't breathe; it was now his turn to shake and tremble as the air between them heated to dangerous temperatures.
Softer than first snow, fingertips traced the outline of the prince's lips and looking deeply into Merlin's eyes, Arthur kissed each of his fingers gently.
The two men seemed to effortlessly move towards each other till Merlin could feel Arthur's breath dancing across his lips, it was heavenly. The prince reached out an unsure hand and battle worn fingers glided through ebony hair causing his manservant to moan softly and lean into the touch.
Their bodies were thrumming with energy. Merlin fluttered his eyes closed intent on feeling every single sensation of this moment.
"Arthur…" he whispered in a broken gasp as his forehead leaned against the prince's and their noses nuzzled each other for a long moment of gentle affection.
"Ssshh, Merlin, I'm here. It's all okay now, I promise… Let me take care of you," he panted against his servant's lips and for the briefest moment their lips touched as he spoke. It seemed to ignite a fire that burned far brighter than that in the cave where they lay- a fire that burned purely on passion for the other man in his arms.
Merlin felt it, too, and gasped as he let his fingers thread through his prince's soft hair and grip him there. He surged forward in a desperate heat till finally their lips crashed together.
Arthur's lips were full and pressed hard to his companions in a desperate race to touch every inch of skin he could all at once.
Merlin moaned against his lips as he leaned into the fiery kiss, parting his lips slightly in a silent invitation. Arthur's breath caught in his throat and he was dizzied with the sheer fervour of their kiss. The tip of his tongue traced Merlin's lips before delving into the depths of his mouth, entangling with Merlin's. They writhed together like that for countless moments, tongues entwined and fighting for control over their hard and desperate kiss.
The prince tried to pour every emotion in his soul into that kiss. The sorrow he felt for the way he'd acted. But mostly, the want, the need for Merlin he felt deep within his aching body.
When sparring lips finally parted, both men lay against each other gasping and holding the other tightly. Merlin looked up through a vale of lashes and met Arthur's darkened gaze. What the prince saw was what he'd seen before in the castle walls, but this time it was, oh, so different. Rich golden embers battled pure white heat in his wide and powerful stare.
Merlin faltered and looked down, away from the piercing gaze of his prince, but this time Arthur was having none of it. He raised his head with a firm hold of his chin and looked deep into his very soul before uttering the words, "Beautiful. Astonishingly so. Merlin, I…"
His words were caught in another searing kiss as his servant lunged at him and kissed him with untold fervour. Finally, he panted against his kiss swollen and unnaturally enticing pout, "Don't. It doesn't matter now. You're here now… that's' all that matters to me." He threw his frail arms around Arthur's neck and clung to him as though he might disappear.
The prince kissed along the silky column of his companion's neck and shushed him, rubbing his back. His hands trailed lower until he could pull Merlin onto his lap. They sat that way for untold amounts of time, touching, kissing, loving one another. As time flew past and the fires grew brighter their clothing was shed till there was nothing between them. Flushed skin touched skin and the passion only grew stronger with each passing moment.
Merlin's breath was heavy against Arthur's shoulder as he whimpered and begged for his prince. Arthur could deny him nothing ever again as long as they lived as he looked into his golden, burning eyes in that single moment.
The raven haired man lay clutching at his prince and rocking his body against his in a delicious dance of sin. They made love by the fire, writhing and calling out each other's names till the night sky surrendered to the warm glow of the rising sun.
The two lovers lay contented in each other's arms, draped in Pendragon red and velvet. And as though it were the most natural thing in the world Arthur carded his fingers through the ebony crown that lay on his chest and began to hum that same melody till Merlin was purring softly in a deep and peaceful sleep in his prince's arms.
Just before Arthur's eyes closed to the world and he succumbed to the same unconscious comfort as his lover, his eye was caught unawares by the flicker of one last firefly landing upon his shoulder.
"Thank you," the prince whispered. And just like that, the dark waves of sleep rushed over his sated and content body and he was asleep.
Two lovers sleeping by a dying fire, ready to begin their new lives; all indebted to fireflies and lullabies.