Dear God I swore that I wasn't gonna do this. I am trying to update the other story but I can't get this out of my head. I think I am just as upset as everyone else about this storyline and swore that I wasn't gonna write about it, but I just can't get this out of my head. It is a one-shot. If enough of you want to, I may do more, but this is just to get it off my chest as to what I think could or may happen in the season 10 premier and season 9 finale. Hope that you enjoy may insanity.
This fic is about Arizona thinking over her therapy session. Italic Bold is session quotes.
The Unforeseeable Future
xxxxx
So how have you been?
I am sleeping now.Arizona steps out of the shower, pulling a towel around her body.
Have you thought about what we talked about last time?
I did. I am trying. The meditating did seem to help some too.As she starts to dry her hair, she hears a familiar voice behind her. "Hi, sweet girl". Arizona turns to see the baby monitor behind her in the bedroom.
It's been 2 months. Have you talked to Dr. Torres?
"You slept all night." Callie's voice echoed throughout the room. "Yay. That's the first time in..." Arizona turned to the monitor as she heard Callie finish her sentence. "...in a couple months." I haven't. I have tried. I've done everything that you told me. She just refuses to talk to me. She barely looks at me and that is only during board meetings.
"Mama?" A tear ran Arizona's cheek as she heard the little girl ask for her. Then she heard the woman speak again. "Mama, isn't here. Maybe she will see you today.
Did you look over the papers? She had walked toward the monitor that she left on from the previous night when it was her turn to get up with Sofia. Arizona turned off the monitor not to further intrude on Callie and Sofia's morning time.
I did.
Did you sign them?Arizona started to dress for the day.
No.
Why?
She is my wife.
She is your wife that is asking you for a divorce.Arizona grabbed her purse and started to make her way out into the hall. She stopped when she could hear Callie and Sofia leaving from the apartment across the hall. She leaned against the door to what was once Mark's apartment and waited until the hallway was silent.
I can't. I just can't let her go.
She is asking and not speaking to you. Do you think that you can fix this at this point?
Arizona stepped into the hallway. I have to try.
(two months ago.)
Arizona was in the NICU checking on patients and making sure the makers of the tiny humans were calm. As she flipped through some paperwork in young, Michael's chart, she noticed it. Her left hand was bare. Panic started to set in. Where was her ring? She didn't even notice it gone. Complete horror took a hold of the woman who had remembered removing it before her last surgery and placing it in her pocket. As she ran to the on call room where she had been, she knew that it had to be there. It had to have fallen out of her pocket. It had to be there.
She frantically searched the room. "Shit. It's gotta be here." She said as she looked under the small bed. "Danm it." She huffed as her pager sounded.
The day had been none stop after the storm. Lauren had left early during the morning after the storm had settled. Arizona had never been so happy to see someone leave in her life. She was now doing charting in her new Chief of Pediatric Surgery office. She looked up as she heard the door open.
She looked into the face of her loving wife. It was the first time that she had actually looked at Callie today. Their hectic day had caused them to only pass briefly, but she hadn't really had the chance to talk. Immediate guilt come all over Arizona. She fight with all she had to keep the tears from her eyes. "Hey." She tried to smile.
"Missing something?" Callie looked at her wife.
"Excuse me?" Panic set in.
"Are you missing something?" Callie didn't wait for an answer as she reached into her lab coat and pulled something from her pocket.
Arizona watched as she pulled the missing ring out of her pocket and held it in the air. "Where did you get that?"
"Mia, in environmental service, brought it to me. Said that she found it in one of the on call rooms when she was cleaning. She and I had a lengthy conversation about my ring a couple weeks ago. She was telling me how much she loved it. She thought that it was mine." Callie took a couple of steps toward the desk. "I checked the log to see if you had been there. It said that room was reserved for Lauren Bosswell to sleep before her flight this morning." Arizona opened her mouth to speak but Callie continued. "See I have given myself a million reasons as too why my wife's wedding ring would be found in a bed that other woman was in." Callie nervously chuckled as she looked at her stunned wife. "I mean, there is a reason right? I have told myself that there has to be a reason. Cause I have all these scenarios that are playing in my head." The smile fell from Callie's face. "Tell me that is crazy. Tell me that I am being stupid and you are angry that my insecure mind would even go there." Arizona blankly looked at Callie. "Please." Callie started and had to stop and take a breath. "I need for you to tell me..."
"I went in there with her." It was out before Arizona could stop it. "I showed her to the room and then... I kissed her." Now it was Callie that stood there speechless. "Ever since the crash I haven't felt like me. I can't seem to get control of anything. I feel like I am just out there trying to survive my life. I was so mean to you after the accident and you just took it. You never argued or pushed. You just took it. Some days I still feel like that person on that bathroom floor sitting in a puddle of my own urine. We went from me being so angry, that I couldn't look at you, to being 'fine'. We aren't fine. We haven't been. I was so cruel to you, and you think that it ok? You think that I am ok? I'm not, Callie." Callie still looked at her wife in disbelief. "Something is wrong with me."
"You slept with her?" That was all Callie could even get to come out of her mouth.
"I kissed her...or she kissed me...I am not even sure what happened..."
"You went into an on call room willingly with someone and you 'aren't sure what happened'?" Callie gestured in quotes.
"We kissed. I stopped and then..."
"Then..."
"We kissed Callie and things got out of control. My pager went off when Meredith's water broke. The baby had some issues." Arizona took a deep breath. "We stopped, but it went way too far. I just don't feel...I needed to feel something. I needed to know that I am the same person I was. I need, for myself, to be me again. It isn't the same when you tell me I'm beautiful. You are my wife, you have to. I just feel.. broken. I feel like the same broken person that laid in those woods."
"So the only reason you stopped was because you were paged?"
"Callie.."
"You would have actually had sex with that woman if your fucking pager hadn't went off?"
Arizona answered the most honest that she could. "I don't know."
"In the hospital that we work in together? That we co-own together."
"It was a mistake, Callie. I am sorry." Arizona didn't even realize how hard that she was crying until she couldn't speak. "Pl-please."
"I have been patient with you. I have walked on eggshells around you for nearly a year. If there was something wrong you could have talked to me. It took me months to get you back into my bed and you know her for 2 days and she is in. At least George loved Izzie." Callie coldly looked at Arizona.
"Callie..."
Callie looked at the ring in her hand and laid it on Arizona's desk, where her own ring quickly joined it. "Then you need to find yourself because you aren't happy with who you are and I can't help you or go down this road again. I am sorry that all this happened to you, but I didn't sleep for days when you were out there. I prayed that you were alright, that you weren't hurt if you were alive. I let you take all your anger out on me and I stood by you."
"You told Bailey to run!"
"I never left your side, Arizona. Not even when you pushed and pushed. I loved you enough to put all that aside."
"Maybe you were wrong. Maybe we both were."
"The trauma that you endured doesn't justify cheating, Arizona." Callie turned to walk out of the room.
"Callie don't do this, please."
"I have a surgery at 7 in the morning that will last all morning and most of the afternoon. I expect your things to be gone when I get home."
"Call..."
"Stay at Mark's, stay here, stay at a hotel or with that whore. I don't care. Just get out." With that Callie was gone.
xxxx
(present)
How do you feel.
Arizona walked into the busy hospital. Most days, like I could die.
The other days?
The good days, I just feel that death is a possibly and not the inevitable.Arizona opened the door to her office and sat her things down. She looked at the picture of her, Callie and Sofia that was taken on Meredith and Derek's deck.
Where do you hope to go from here?
Arizona picked up the picture frame as a tear rolled down her face. I have to get my family back.
What else?
Arizona put her lab coat on and readied herself to face a hospital that was almost as angry at her as her wife. I have to get me back.
