A/N: this is basically a series of events that start at the dream Allen had right after his near fatal encounter with Tyki. (about chapter 59) it is my take on how the 14th saw things. Tell me what you think. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Please bare in mind that he is an extraordinarily hard character to get into the mind of because we see very little of him and what we do hear tells us little only that he is a noah. Might contain spoilers for later chapters. The italics are Allen's thought speech

Disclaimer: I would love to own -man but not only do I live at the complete other side of the world from the author but I don't even speak/write/understand the language it was created in so there is really no possibility of me owning.

I looked onto a dark world. It seemed to be snowing, so cold too, I assumed. A young boy looked round. He was out of focus, like he didn't belong here, shouldn't be here. Almost like a roughly drawn picture. A scar gave life to one of the swirling vacuums that appeared to be his eyes. What lies in those depths, at the bottom of those pits of turbulent shadows? He looked round confused. Where am I? I heard though no words had been said. The question came to me almost through my heart or mind. Just arriving. Then I realised. I lay there, in his depths I wait, a deadly, concealed danger. One even he is not aware of.

He stares to the sky. A large white moon… a world unlike reality… did I die and go to the after-world? I am confused, the moon is black, a pitch black crescent, then I see. We are not of the same world, him and I. I am of the reversed, hidden world, not alive yet not dead either. The inverse of this boy, my host. Yet why his he here? How did he get to where I now seek sanctuary? This world which does not welcome the living. Waiting, waiting for my moment. Then I realise what he asked, did I die and go to the after-world, someone has hurt him, nearly killed him, he and I, we are not so different now. He is close, so close I wonder if I could not reach out and touch him, he stands too far away. Who did this I long to ask, who hurt you so badly. Yet is that not hypocritical of me? I who will one day consume this child? I stare at my moon as I ponder this question. Though, one day I will take his conscious to meet my own ends I would see him live a full life. What he has left. He has little; I have worked faster than I thought I would over the years. Care is not something I often feel. I cared for my brother, my Mana. Maybe in bonding myself to this child I created an emotional link. Maybe not, I will look at another time. Learn about the heart that I will usurp.

Huh? Has he seen me? Heard me? Like I hear him? The moon in the sky is white.. but the moon reflected on this water's surface is black. Not me, but he has seen my world. He peers into it and I realise that he sees beyond it. He has a gifted heart. Sees into a dream that is not mine. Not his. Into a world that belongs to another but is dream the right word? Part of me shies away from the term. Nightmare is better. The ruins of a once proud tower litter the ground. Fragile, like humans, like exorcists, like you child. Something that seems so strong, so stable and immobile but one that will eventually fall. In his place among the graves and dead trees he sees something I missed. At the highest point of the ruins a girl weeps. A body rests in her lap. The hood of his exorcist cloak covers his face but I think it is turned towards her. That's…!? Lenalee!? Why..? This isn't the after world..? Why do assume the body is a he? There is nothing to indicate that it should be male. White hair is barely visible, just the tips, if that, more likely our imagination, short if it is real, but a girl can have short hair too. Then I realise I believe it is young too. Surely on a corpse the aged would have white hair? Not a youth. But this boy, this child his hair is white. She weeps for you? Did you bring her world crashing down that she now sits on the ruins? I wonder how he knows her well enough to see this portion of her heart then I wonder if it is not a portion of his heart that we gaze upon?

Those ruins… you know this place? Why is Lenalee the only one over there..?I have to go… I have to go to her... no, this is not your world, not a place you can visit yet. This is another persons place and you shorten what little time you have if you try. So I reach and I catch him. Make myself heard.

You…can't…

It has been so long since I talked to anyone. He becomes more real but I can still touch him. I am close I realise. Close to the surface. The connection is closing, he is being pulled towards life now. He fights back now he shouts, voicing his thoughts for the first time.

"The water's freezing over..?! Lenalee..!! Damn it let go!!!"

Part of me knows that her face is all he sees now, her tears, her pain.

Can't

Can't let go, not anymore. Not now that I've touched, remembered, if only vaguely what it is to live. Can't let go because of the bond I forged so many years ago and can't let him try come. Come to where he will endanger not only himself but other things. Things that even I do not know but ones that part of me feels must not be altered. Who… are you ? Finally he sees me. Sees a silhouette, a memory of what I once was, a pale shadow in comparison. I answer but I do not think he hears, already gone to where I cannot follow. For now.

I am you, what you will become.