I don't know
This could break my heart
Or save me.
Sober – Kelly Clarkson
"You're not who I thought you were."
The words kept racing around her brain, again and again. Jenny Humphrey watched as Nate Archibald gave her his best I-expected-better-of-you look, and then turned to watch him as he stalked away from her. She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe; she couldn't feel anything. All around her, people were dancing and laughing, and yet it all seemed to be in slow motion. Her cheeks stung, as if she had been slapped. She lifted her hands to her mouth, trying to cover the sob that was desperately trying to escape from her lips.
She had heard that having your heart broken hurt, but she never expected that it would hurt this much. A deep emptiness inside had started in the pit of her stomach and was now spreading throughout her body. Her chest hurt, and she pressed her hands into it, willing her heart to stop falling to pieces. Tears were pooling in her eyes, and she knew that in a second they would be falling swiftly down her cheeks, and then everyone would know that she had just been dumped by Nate Archibald. Could it really be called being dumped, though, if they were never really together? No matter what it's called, it hurt, and she couldn't bear to let anyone see how broken she was feeling.
He had written her a letter. She still couldn't believe that. He had actually taken the time to sit down and put his feelings about her into words. And the envelope was thick; it must have been more than a page. He had written more than one page about how he felt about her. It still didn't seem real to her as she repeated those words to herself.
But as soon as the pain had hit her from Nate's words, the anger came just as fast from his actions. She had never gotten the chance to read the letter because Vanessa had stolen it. That bitch. And to think just yesterday she had gone off at Jenny for kissing Nate behind her back, when she had done much, much worse. Vanessa's true colors were starting to show now, and it was obvious she would do anything she could to make sure she didn't lose Nate; even if that meant sabotaging things between Nate and Jenny. She didn't feel nearly as bad about the see-through dress incident now. Vanessa deserved everything she got.
And Nate; how dare he throw the letter in her face, taunt her with it, and then leave her hanging like that? He hadn't even given her a chance to explain, to tell him what she really felt. He had just run away, like the spineless coward he was. She deserved to read that letter, to see what he couldn't say to her face. It was her letter, it was her right. And she was going to read that letter, one way or another, she would.
And with her anger at Nate, at Vanessa, and at herself, pounding in her veins, she stomped towards the door where Nate had disappeared. She was going to find him and tell him exactly where he could go and where he could shove his condescending tone.
She burst through the doors into the chilly, crisp December night. Taking deep gulps of air, her heartbeat slowed down. Her head was clearing from the emotional mess it was in, and she was grateful for that. She walked down the street, looking for Nate's broad shoulders and light brown mop of hair. And then she saw him; and her heart sank.
There was Nate, talking to Vanessa. Jenny could see that Vanessa had been crying. Nate's hands were gently resting on either side of her arms, and he was staring intently into her eyes. And then he kissed her. And Jenny felt the last tiny piece that was left of her heart shatter into another million pieces.
The anger now replaced once again with paralyzing pain, she stood there frozen, watching as Nate and Vanessa got into a taxi and pulled away into the endless stream of New York traffic. She was left alone standing on the street corner; a single tear spilled over her lashes and ran down her cheek, dropping from her chin and landing on the freshly fallen snow.