A/N: This is my newest story. Why? Cause I can. I promise that I will try hard to keep up Reckless Surrender, A New Beginning, and Fool for Love; all the while doing this one. Problem is that school starts next week and I am going to be a little slower, seeing as how I will not be staying up till 2 in the morning. Luckily I have a computer in my room now and will write in class. Anyways I am not going to do any author notes at the bottom of this story, like a few of you have asked. I will however write my appreciation to the people who have reviewed. RoseSiege this is kind of for you. I know you like the stories… your reviews always make my day. So here's the new story. Also I am looking for a beta… anybody want to help?

Summary: Spike's a big rock star in a recently famous band. His fiancé Buffy is left behind. But when Spike comes back from touring to record the next album, things get really bad between them. But is it hate or love that causes these two to make them selves miserable? And can the two ever put their differences aside?

Spike Masters sat in the back of the tour bus, strumming simple cords on his guitar, stopping ever so often to write down some lyrics. Most of his stuff, if he ever let you read the rough drafts, was about her. All he thought about was her. And being that he was about to go home in a week, about to see her for the first time in a year, he had some pretty emotional lyrics to write. He thought often about writing her a song, many times he thought about calling her or dedicating songs to her. But she wouldn't want him to. As far as he knew, she didn't want to see him at all.

Buffy Summers was dreading the Friday that was coming. She just knew that he would want to see her and she didn't know if she could see him. Buffy still remembered what he looked like on top of that other woman. He still remembered how it felt to watch her entire life slip away from her. And she wasn't ready to see him after that.

Flashback-

Buffy Summers walked into the hotel lobby and right up to the desk. "Spike Master's room number please."

The receptionist looked in the computer. "800."

"Thank you." Buffy said as the receptionist handed her a key. She walked over to the elevator, the heels of her black boots clicking on the floor. Buffy checked herself in the mirror. She was wearing a tiny, leather mini skirt and a red halter top. Her black boots were thigh high and her hair was down in curls. She had recently gotten her bleached blonde hair with black highlights in it. She had dressed as the perfect rock star girlfriend just for him. The bell on the elevator dinged and she walked out. It was cooler here then it was in the elevator and Buffy shook a little in the cold. Or maybe she was just nervous. Spike had been gone for only four months, but she missed him so much. He had proposed to her before he left, promising that they would have an amazing wedding. But she couldn't wait a year and a half to see him. She had to see him now. She walked until she found the room, entered the key and walked in. The lighting was low and there was light music playing. Buffy walked ahead, past the wall. She stopped dead in her tracks and dropped the room key. In the bed was Spike on top of a brunette, fucking her intently. Buffy must have let out a scream or a gasp of shock because Spike's head turned suddenly. Buffy couldn't stand to look in his eyes, so she turned and ran. It was amazing that she could even run at all, her legs feeling like they weighed a ton. She kept running, faster and faster, hearing Spike yelling after her. "Buffy. Buffy wait." He kept running and so did she, until he finally caught up with her. "Buffy." He said breathlessly.

She turned to him with tears in her eyes. "What?"

"Let me explain." He said, finally catching his breath.

"Explain what?" Buffy said coldly, hate overcoming her sadness. "Explain how you left me behind with a promise to marry me then ran off and fucked the nearest girl you could get."

"Buffy…"

She stopped him. "How many have there been Spike? Ten, twenty, thirty? Or has it been just that one girl, over and over again?" Buffy shuddered at the thought of that woman being with him more then once. It was worse then many women.

"She was just a groupie. I haven't been with anyone else. She was just there and I was missing you so much. I just wasn't thinking."

"It shows." She said. She took her hand in her others and pulled the ring off her finger. She threw it at him. "Hope your happy Spike." She said.

Spike was almost unable to think of anything else but that night. He had played a great show, his band's song had just reached number one, and they had a major girl following. So Spike was just a man and a hot brunette wanting nothing more then sex was something that he really couldn't pass up. He hadn't been with a woman since he had started the tour and he may not have been thinking with the right head. He never thought that Buffy would show up. And when he tried to explain, she wouldn't let him. She even threw the ten-thousand dollar engagement ring at him. He stopped playing the guitar to reach up to his neck. He pulled the chain out of his shirt and brought the ring up to eye level. It never left his neck and he made sure it was always there. He hoped that somehow there would be a chance that they could get back together. All great musicians took their pain and placed it in their music. Spike's music was filled with his pain. While he wrote power ballads that made tears com to your eyes, he also wrote songs about his drug habits, the good times he had with Buffy and life on the road. Spike's music was a reflection of who he was and he couldn't wait till she heard it. All the things he couldn't say where written on the paper and expressed in his guitar rifts and songs. She would see how wrong she was. She would see that he loved her. "I feel it in my soul, it hurts more then you'll even know the thoughts and lies, all hidden behind our closed eyes. Making you love me was easy, but how can you forgive, the things I did. Will you ever love me like you did, before I fucked up? Will you ever even know how much I wished I could go back? It's not that easy to walk away, and more then ever I wish I could say, what's on my heart and how I feel, but nothing here is right and nothing here is real." Spike sang the last part out load, along with his guitar.

His band mate, Tommy, was sitting the closest to him and was able to hear all that Spike was singing. "It's deep man." Tommy said. "Dude you think she'll take you back?"

"I hope so." Spike said. "Its bloody awful havin' to wait so long to see her. But she wouldn't answer my calls."

"Do you blame her? Dude you were engaged."

"I know it. I know I fucked up."

"We all do man. You just have to learn that some things aren't meant to be."

"But she was the one for me. I don't mean to sound like a ponce, or for worse to sound like Peaches up there, but I love her."

"Hey!" Angel said. The tall, dark and handsome bassist walked over to them. "I heard you." He said with a scowl.

"Oh get over it Peaches." Spike said. "No one really cares." Spike was just messing with the bassist. He loved Angel like a brother, and fought with him like one too.

"We're here!" The driver said. Spike, Tommy, and Angel all looked out the window. They were driving into Sunnydale, a town that was filled with people they had left behind and hidden secrets that they didn't want to face.