Summer Stars
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATHY!!!!
Author's Note: This is a one-shot in honor of my dear fellow CrAsh fan, Kathy. Happy birthday, and you can vote now:D You're crazy enough to watch Passions (like me), always make stellar comments on the boards, read great books, and keep it real. Love, your mom, Nikki
I don't usually like to do one-shots, but for you, I'll do it. :) This takes place after High Fidelity, the episode where Craig comes back to visit, and Ashley has come back before for the graduation. This is two months later, with Craig coming back for a short summer visit in August.Cranny and Jimash are dating, but who cares about them:P No, I think it's fair to both of those ships with CrAsh coming up on top...as always. Craig's coke addiction isn't an issue yet, so I didn't put that in.
Summer Stars is the property of Taking Back Sunday.
"It stinks being seventeen," groans Craig, as the bouncer takes his hand, twists a red armband around it.
"Well, tonight you're eighteen," says Ellie, checking a text on her cell phone. "Okay, good, Marco's in already."
The bouncer moves to the side, indicates for them to enter. Craig and Ellie enter a dark doorway, and are soon illuminated by dim white lights, thumping music pounding their ears. Ellie covers her ears for a bit, then lowers her hands.
"Ugh, takes my ears awhile to get used to this," explains Ellie.
"Not me," informs Craig, grinning widely. "I love it."
He glances around, sees young adults downing beers, nodding their head to the pulsating beat, girls dancing in front of the stage, the stage where Leo discovered the Squatch, or actually him. He remembers the thrill of being under the houselights, closing his eyes because they were blinding, his fingers moving on their own as if they were possessed. Backed by Marco's bass, Jimmy's guitar, and Ellie's drums, he felt like he had the best support a person could find. That was one bad thing about being in Vancouver, leaving them all behind. But not tonight. No, Ellie had organized an early birthday party for him since he'd be away recording in September. He's not exactly sure what that gesture meant, if she was still crushing on him, but if she was, she was covering it up pretty well. Unfortunately, Manny was in New York on a trip with Emma and her parents. She kept apologizing for not being able to make it, but she told Craig that Emma had had a tough year, something which required therapy. Craig didn't press, sure that Emma would conquer whatever demons were plaguing her. He'd been in therapy too, and knew privacy was a key part of it.
Still, it's nice to be out with his friends. He didn't get much time with them after graduation, seeing as he had to unpack and spend time with Manny.
"I'm a little surprised this isn't a surprise party," says Craig, winking at Ellie.
"Oh yeah. After last year's birthday party, you haven't soured on surprise parties?" points out Ellie.
Craig rolls his eyes. "I got ya."
"So the plan is to listen to a couple songs by this new band, get food, hang, and go to Dylan's apartment for cake and presents," rattles off Ellie.
"This new band better be good," teases Craig. "If I can't drink, I want to mosh."
"You drink a lot in Vancouver?" says Ellie, giving him a warning look.
"I sip," corrects Craig. "I have sipped. Stop looking at me like that, El."
"Okay, no more bugging you on your birthday," says Ellie. "And trust me, this band rocks. Checked them out myself."
They reach the center of the room, spot Dylan sitting in the center at a table. He waves them over, Craig waving back. They sit, Ellie giving Dylan a small peck on the cheek.
"So El won't supply any hints as to who this band is," says Craig. "Dylan?"
"I'm not saying either," replies Dylan. "But the bassist...pretty cute."
A man in a black suit with a red tie jogs onstage, receiving a healthy round of applause. He taps the microphone.
"I thought you said that Jimmy and Marco were coming?" says Craig, as a waitress puts a bowl of pretzels and napkins down at their table.
"Sure they're around here somewhere," says Ellie, shrugging.
The man in the black suit beams, holds up a hand to stop the audience from cheering anymore.
"Good evening, folks!" greets the man. "Tonight, we have some very special up and comers in our showcase. After searching the streets of Toronto, we've found a wonderful assemblage of musicians. Starting us off tonight...Downtown Sasquatch!"
Craig leans back in his chair, his stomach doing somersaults. Ellie laughs. Jimmy wheels onstage, pumping his fist into the air to some heartfelt cheering. Marco strolls on with his bass, grinning. To his surprise, Spinner walks onstage next, twirling his drumsticks, then settles behind the drumkit.
"Oh, look there they are," says Ellie, elbowing Craig.
Craig laughs, then claps and shouts "Woo! Yeah!"
The lights brighten as he claps, then he sees another shadowy figure in the back. Probably a stagehand. Jimmy rights his bass, and Craig views a keyboard sitting right next to his chair.
"Who plays keyboard?" whispers Craig.
Dylan and Ellie nervously glance at one another.
"One...two...three...four!" counts off Spinner, then doing a short drum solo.
Jimmy and Marco start to play, Craig nodding his head to the song, which he thinks he recognizes. Then, he hears the clicking of heels against wood, arches his eyebrows. She comes out from behind the stage in a pretty, form-fitting black dress, the lights bringing out the subtle flecks of red in her hair. He stops clapping, sighs. He thought he saw her at graduation, but with the long hair and the new clothes, he wasn't sure. Then, he sawher smile, and knew, completely knew it was her. She smiles now too. Her smile is kind of incomparable, thinks Craig, then he shakes himself, sits up.
"Hey Toronto!" yells Ashley into the microphone.
A warm response greets her, Ashley getting behind her keyboard.
"Is there a Mr. Craig Manning in the house?" she asks, peering over the crowd.
Craig blushes, tentatively raises his hand. Ellie grabs his hand, raises it higher.
"Alright!" says Ashley, her eyes lighting up. "Well, this one's for you."
Ashley puts the microphone in its place, moving her fingers over the keys. Craig feels sweat on the back of his neck, twists in his seat. He could keep cool, not remember how it was when they kissed, their mouths moving in perfect syncopation, their hearts slowing down to take in the moment. He shouldn't remember that last summer, while working at the car lot, his mind would often wander, thinking about what she was doing, if her need for space would bring them closer or drive them apart. His head provided one answer to that question, his heart another.
She begins to sing, something he can't help but remember, although it sounds a bit different. There's almost a touch of anguish to her voice now, or maybe he wanted there to be.
"Do you remember the time when you and I were fine
hiding under the apple tree there was no one but you and me
we would hide from passing cars and we would have the summer stars?"
He stares at her, noting that she's avoiding looking at him at all costs. The notes from Jimmy's guitar accompany her nicely. His guitar used to do that. It's probably easier for her to look at her new boyfriend, Jimmy. He really thought that was over, but no, for some reason, they were a 'they' again. I can't say anything, thinks Craig. It's the same with Manny. But honestly, he knows what that's about, reaching for someone familiar, someone he could rely on, not someone who he'd let in all the way. She continues:
"And we were better then then we'd ever been before
you came back to me after walking out my door
you would call me on the phone before you even got home
without me you said you were all alone..."
Ashley closes her eyes, and Craig takes a deep breath. Her voice has so much power today, comes off so raw, so intense. A tear trickles down her cheek. Craig bites his lip, keeps his gaze fixed on her. He'd caused her to cry before, hated that. What if he never bought that ticket, tracked her down, made all the right moves? Then again, she caused him to cry. He hid his tears from everyone else at last year's surprise party, but he let them out at home. It was as if someone was sitting on him, crushing all his organs, hoping to break his heart. Ashley glances up, meets his gaze.
"The cold wind that blows all the things I used to know
how could it play so fast... never thought you'd be part of my past
would I trade it all again to get you out of my head?"
Craig strokes his chin, tries hard to hide a smile. Ashley grins back, the rest of the band focusing on the rest of the song.
"Cause we were better then then we'd ever been before
you came back to me after walking out my door
you would call me on the phone before you even got home
without me you said you were all alone
alone
without me by your side
you said you were all alone
give me one more chance
to prove myself to you
all the little things that i long to do..."
He glances down at his lap, the lyrics feeding his soul. If only she meant them...did she? Did she have regrets too? She wants him to tell him the little things that would be so important. I love you or I still want you? He's not expecting that, can't really with both of them in relationships. But other things, like I missed you and I'm sorry, that would mean more than he could say. What was Dust after all, but a song that showed I cared, thinks Craig. No, he's lying to himself. Dust was the song where he first felt like he was alive, that they could be alive again, some form of musical hope.
Spinner drums harder, Marco's hands flying down the bass. It's obvious the song is nearing its end. Craig looks at Ashley again, no more tears on her face.
"...when you run away
would you trade the course
...you said that you'd be
so that i could hold you
...coming out my front porch
would it all go away
...just to see me
and my heart is breaking
would you hear me baby
as the tears are longing
for what it used to be."
Spinner does one last cymbal crash, the audience rising to their feet. Dylan whistles, Ellie clapping enthusiastically. Craig stands, shoves his hands in his pockets. The man in the black suit returns, shakes hands with Ashley.
"Stay because Downtown Sasquatch will be performing again in about thirty minutes!" shouts the man, who's met with more cheers.
"They're awesome without me," assesses Craig.
"Yeah, you're horrible, signed musician," says Ellie, rubbing his shoulder. "I'm going to get us some drinks."
"I want a beer," says Dylan, trailing her.
Marco grins at Craig. "Yo, Manning!"
Craig walks to the band, high-fives Marco. Jimmy and Ashley are talking off to the side, but stop with Jimmy rolling over to Craig.
"Happy premature birthday!" says Jimmy, Craig bending down to hug him.
"Thanks," says Craig.
While hugging him, his view shifts to Ashley, who stares at the floor, digging a heel into the carpet. He straightens himself, runs a hand through his hair.
"Hey, Ash," he says softly.
"Hey, Craig," says Ashley, looking up, brushing back her hair.
The awkwardness is interrupted by Ellie running over to them, clearly agitated. Dylan appears upset too.
"Jimmy, your dad showed up early," informs Ellie. "He thought you and Ash needed a ride to Dylan's at nine-thirty."
"I told him ten-thirty," groans Jimmy. "Great, just great. Protective dad strikes once more."
"Well, he's outside," says Ellie. "And you guys have to play the second song. It took me so long to convince Jared to let you play this showcase in the first place."
"Plus it's bad luck not to finish a gig," adds Ashley.
"Yeah...I...," agrees Craig, not being able to stop himself. "I mean...um, yeah, it is."
Ashley smiles at him, then looks away.
"Let me go talk to him," says Jimmy. "My dad walking in to find me at the coolest club in town wouldn't look too good."
"Maybe we can arrange for dinner to go, not inconvenience Mr. Brooks anymore," chimes in Marco. "Dylan, help me with the order."
Marco and Dylan head for the waitressing station, while Ellie helps Jimmy manuever through the crowded tables. Craig lets out a nervous laugh, realizing he and Ashley are the only ones left.
"So...hi again," says Craig.
"Hi," replies Ashley.
"Is it just me...or are our his getting really strange?"
Ashley chuckles. "Yeah, flashback to a couple Septembers ago...your birthday."
"Now, that was a good birthday," says Craig, beaming. "Cake, got that fat old check from Joey, the one you helped me spend."
"Proof you shouldn't let two sixteen year olds into a music store with a thousand bucks," sighs Ashley. "The guitar was incredible, though."
"Nothing beats a Strat 69," agrees Craig.
"Except a Korg Triton," remarks Ashley, gesturing to her keyboard.
"Psh, I think not," says Craig, sticking out his tongue.
Ashley smiles. "So you're here alone?"
"Yeah," answers Craig. "Miss Manny's up in New York. Getting a spa treatment, last I heard. Wrapping herself up in vegetable oil, getting something called a maple scrub..."
"Ewww," says Ashley. "I don't think I'd like cucumbers on my eyes."
Craig looks into her eyes, that same serene blue that calmed him down after he went off during the luau dance, when he beat up Joey, in the hospital, when they played prom.
"Your eyes are too pretty to cover up," says Craig, then quickly saying, "Sorry."
Ashley opens her mouth to speak, then closes it. Craig rubs his forehead.
"I...have... to check on something backstage," stutters Ashley, walking fast to the backstage area.
Craig shakes his head. I ruined that moment, he thinks. Why did he say that, make her anxious? She's with Jimmy. I have to apologize again.
He goes backstage, views Ashley drinking a bottle of water, fanning herself.
"You okay?" asks Craig.
Startled by his voice, Ashley spits out the water, hangs her head in embarrassment. Water covers the top of her dress.
"Sorry..so sorry," stammers Craig. "Um, I know where there's towels."
"No...that's okay. I...," starts Ashley.
"No, there's a closet," says Craig, walking over to her. "When we played, I needed to change and I did it in a supply closet."
"Fine," says Ashley.
Craig spies the closet to their right, and is relieved that it's not locked. He holds the door open for her, and she goees inside, finds a towel, starts to dry herself off. The next band in the showcase brush past Craig, lugging a heavy amp and their instruments.
"Move, poseurs!" shouts their guitarist, nudging Craig.
The guitarist pushes Craig to the side, and he falls over, into Ashley. Ashley gasps, and they both topple onto the cold floor.
"Ouch," whispers Ashley.
"Daily Drag, you're on !" he hears a woman cry. "And we keep this closet locked."
The door is shut, Craig standing and pounding on the door. He's pretty sure they can't hear him as loud music throbs from the stage. Ashley flicks on the light.
"Locked," moans Craig, trying to open the door.
"Everything is wrong tonight," says Ashley, frowning, sitting on the floor.
Ashley hugs herself, Craig kneeling next to her. No matter the guy in England, or Jimmy, he can't help but want to make her feel better. She'd been through a lot for him, after all.
"Your birthday is ruined," continues Ashley. "You're probably hungry. You've got me, the person you probably hate the most, stuck in here with you."
She takes a swig of water, coughs.
"What?" cries Craig. "Ash, I don't hate you."
"Craig, I can pick up signs, you know?" whispers Ashley. "The discomfort, the resentment..."
"The sadness," interjects Craig.
"Sadness?' breathes Ashley.
"Remembering not so good birthdays..especially the one where you didn't come home."
"Well, I'm sad for both of us," admits Ashley, holding up her water bottle. "I'd rather put water into my body, then have water streaming down my cheeks. What is this, the second birthday I've ruined for you?"
"It's not so bad in here," soothes Craig. "Shoot, we've got cleaning supplies, a broom, some trendy poster of Creed on the wall..."
Ashley frowns at the poster. "I'm tempted to tear that down."
"I think you should do it," encourages Craig. "It's my birthday wish."
"I got you a present!" says Ashley. "The two songs?"
"Yeah, but I'm not getting the other song anytime soon, now am I?" counters Craig, grinning. "I'm waiting."
Ashley laughs, stands. "You think anyone will know it was me?"
"I'll cover for you," promises Craig.
She starts to undo the tape of the poster, stares down at Craig.
"Who cares about the tape? Just rip it!" whispers Craig, urgently. "Do it...do it...do it!"
She rips it off hard, Craig satisfied with the harsh sound.
"Yes!" exclaims Craig, chuckling. "That has got to be a classic Ashley moment."
Ashley crumples up the poster, throws it into a garbage can. She rejoins Craig on the floor.
"That's for that Creed guy that didn't like our music," says Ashley, proudly.
Craig beams. "But I definitely...definitely liked your song."
"For real?" says Ashley, her cheeks turning pink.
"Yeah, Taking Back Sunday," replies Craig. "My kind of thing. And your voice...wow, got chills."
"It's chilly in the audience area," waves off Ashley.
"No, these chills were different. They were Ashley chills," assures Craig.
"Thanks," says Ashley, patting his shoulder.
"What's it like to be the lead of the Squatch?" asks Craig. "Those guys respect you more than me?"
Ashley pretends to bang her head against a table, Craig laughing.
"Marco's punctual, but always thinks we should play certain songs first. Spin...you know how he is, always goofs around. Jimmy's fine, but I know he'd rather be sketching."
"All that sounds familiar. Spin ask you for a billion drum solos yet?"
"Yeah!" exclaims Ashley. "He only gets one a gig. That's the deal. And I told him, no lyrics that involve humping..."
"Totally," laughs Craig. "But those lyrics...tonight..."
"I didn't write them," interrupts Ashley.
Oh, of course, thinks Craig. She had just chosen some random song she thought he'd like, hadn't thought about the words. It all made sense.
"But I...I meant them," says Ashley. "Every word."
Craig swallows a lump in his throat, scoots closer to Ashley, who is shaking a little.
"Every word?" whispers Craig.
"Craig...," starts Ashley. "I'm sorry I hurt you, and... I wish..."
"Wish what?" encourages Craig.
Ashley gently places a hand on his cheek, lays her forehead against his. Craig's heart beats faster than it ever has.
"I wish you a happy birthday," finishes Ashley. "I can't say anything else. It's too late."
He loves the feel of her breath against his skin, these first touches since England, music pumping outside, inside his body.
"I understand," whispers Craig, lightly kissing her forehead.
Ashley nods, seperates herself from him. This is all they can do, he thinks. Why is it all they can do? It's too bittersweet.
Outside, they hear someone fumbling with the door, a female stagehand finally wresting it open.
"What's this?" she exclaims. "You two, out of there, now."
"Chill out," says Craig, frowning. "Some jerk closed the door."
"That was me," says the woman. "Your little girlfriend better start warming up. Downtown Sasquatch is on in a few."
"She's...um, not my girlfriend," says Craig, then coughing.
He shoots Ashley a sorrowful look, scratches his head.
"Yeah, right," says the woman, rolling her eyes, then leaving.
"Guess, I better get settled," remarks Ashley. "I'm all dry."
Craig smiles. "Yeah."
"When are you leaving again, for Vancouver?" asks Ashley.
"Sunday," replies Craig. "Manny and Joey are seeing me off."
"Oh," says Ashley, frowning. "Make sure to take care of yourself. And that's not me nagging. That's me caring. No bad temptations. There's a difference between ripping down posters and not being careful, okay? You promise to be careful?"
Craig takes her hand, squeezes it. "I promise."
"Good, because you're too talented," says Ashley, playfully punching him in the shoulder.
It's nice to know she believes in him, that a part of her is still concerned.
Jimmy, Marco, and Spinner bustle onto the stage, taking up their instruments.
"Looks like it's me, Spin, El, and Dylan, Craig," complains Marco. "Jimmy's dad wants him home at a decent hour."
"Ash!" calls out Jimmy. "Dad's anal, so after this song, we gotta leave."
She nods, gives Craig a final hug. He can feel his heart breaking in this hold. When would he see her again? What would they say? If it is anything like tonight, he's anticipating the next time.
"Am I getting another dedication?" whispers Craig in her ear, half-joking.
"You get all my dedications," she whispers back, holding him tighter. "Good luck in Vancouver, alright?"
Craig lets her go, stares at her from backstage as she starts the next song. Birthdays can't get any better, he thinks, smiling.