Her eyes closed with her forehead and palms pressed against the wall. This was the position Naomi Campbell had been in for the past 17 minutes.
Still breathing heavily she attempted yet again to slow down her rapidly beating heart and push down the bile at the back of her throat and ignore the acidic burn in the pit of her stomach.
She was refraining from curling her hands into fists, fearful of the anger that would be created from the gesture. Her toes were touching the bottom of skirting board, warm feet, and wet socks.
This triangular shape her body made with the wall prevented her from pushing hard against it; something that her brain was telling her to do, anything to let out the emotions that were eating away behind her eyes and behind her lungs.
Even if she wanted to she couldn't look, she couldn't move. She couldn't confirm what she thought she had done. It was like when she woke from a dream, what was true and what was false? It was best to stay in this level of consciousness, the level that asked nothing from her and let her rest.
She could feel it all drifting away. All her rational thoughts, just an eerie calmness remained and a slow growing sense of irony.
I remember a time when you thought she would choose to leave you, and now you've been made to leave her.
Movement. The corner of her mouth lifting slightly, the beginnings of madness setting in and the grip on her sanity dissolving fast.
It was easy and the weight was disappearing, her breath was slow now.
Blackness around the edges forcing her into the light, where peace was promised.
It had almost filled her and taken her over, she was heading to the mental state where no one can pull back from but she was interrupted, isn't that always the way?
"Naomi? You there?"…
Colour exploded in front of her eyes as they opened. Her body tightening once more.
"No" Yes, that was her name, no she wasn't there anymore.
"Ha-fucking-ha, let me in, I forgot my keys again"
She groaned as everything came back to her, hard like the wall beneath her palms.
Effy continued, "Do your obligatory duties as a housemate, let me in bitch, I've got pizza!... Plus the evil Fitch is coming over, mentioned to me earlier, she wanted to have a word with you while Emily's at work".
"I know" the blonde squeezed out.
Katie had come round but she wasn't there anymore.
Or was she, she questioned.
In a literal sense she was, the warmth under her socks and stickiness on her palms was proof of that.
But no. Not consciously. Never again.
Katie? What was she doing here?
"Katie?" she repeated, this time aloud.
"She was mine" the redhead stated.
Naomi sighed, "We've been over this", she rolled her eyes, "I can share".
"It's a shame I can't" Katie said.
Her tone of voice made Naomi turn around and study her; the twins had always been pale but Katie looked unhealthy, her eyes were bloodshot and empty looking. Her roots were showing; something was seriously wrong.
"I'm not perfect" she continued in the same vacant, hollow tone.
"..but I'm part of a pair, together we're worth so much more" Katie strolled slowing around the small room, her finger gliding over the back of the sofa.
"She was me, a better version of me, you know that…otherwise you'd have chosen me, not that I'd have wanted you to of course, I'm just saying…." The redhead rambled and the blonde changed her stance, glaring at her cautiously.
"It's contagious I think. This madness" Katie said, vaguely gesturing to herself.
"You're obsessed with Emily, and so was I. It only appeared after I met you and it spread from you to her then to me. Obviously she chose you, you'd like…. infected her. There's no way that she could've fought that. I'm forgiving, I understand" Katie explained, a smile on her face that Naomi acknowledged didn't look even slightly right.
"you get me right?" Katie asked.
The blonde didn't get her.
It was all too fast for Naomi to process. She hadn't seen Katie in weeks, maybe even months. What happening? What had happened?
"An alien….." Naomi muttered. Somehow Effy heard her from the other side of the room and through the door.
"What?"
A pause.
"It's what she looked like, I swear Effy. I think she was right, it's infected me right back, twice as hard".
"Naomi? You take something without me? Not cool. Lemme in, sharing's caring"
"is this what you felt like Eff? Before you did it? I heard it was her fault you did it. She left you alone so you killed yourself" she giggled, no longer feeling like herself "and she came to me and now I've got to do the same…"
Effy banged on the door, "You're not making any sense and you're scaring me. Let me in Naomi".
"She came to me and now she's dead…"
"Blood runs thick Naomi, I don't suppose you'd know that. No family, I get it" Katie sniffed and picked up book, scanned the back then placed it back down. "You wouldn't know how to give her what she wants; a family. I'm her family, she could've lived with me. We could've got husbands…or she could've got a wife, whatever, but we would choose them together. Like twins should…" She drifted off.
She stopped as an empty look took over her face before starting again, "I know you'll get it. We're more similar than you'll ever know Naomi". Katie stepped forward quickly causing the blonde to jolt her head back in surprise.
"It's taken me a while you know? Took me a while to realise where my life was heading. Took me maybe a minute to decide what i had to do" She picked up a metal photo frame of Emily and Naomi dancing in a park and she smiled weakly, handing the picture to Naomi.
"She was lovely" Katie stated.
The blonde accepted the photo gingerly, she was leaning slightly back, arms tense, feet apart. She scanned the girl in front of her again, this time spotting the red, crescent shaped marks on her palms, but also the red lining the outside of her nails, next to the skin.
Naomi opened her mouth to speak, noticing that she had been jamming her jaw shut tight.
"Why're you speaking like that?...Why're you talking about Emily in the past tense?"
Effy was quiet but Naomi knew she was there, listening.
"You know what I mean don't you Eff? If you had ever seen Foster again you'd have done the same as me? I'm sure of it…"
Naomi looked moved her head to look down and right, her neck creaking with stiffness. She rolled it to the left and spotted the metal photo frame now on the floor. Glass cracked, the metal dented and stained.
"I told her all this, I begged her to come back to me. To her loving sister who would always be there….i suppose I already knew she wouldn't".
Katie locked eyes with Naomi.
No air left in the room. For either of them.
"I know that she's waiting for me, I'm sure of it, but I need some help getting to her you see…"
Naomi was empty and yet full to bursting. Ice cold flooded her veins and spread down and through her blood, finally crawling back up her spine and settling in the base of her neck as she spoke,
"You killed my Emily" she croaked.
Katie frowned at her slightly, "have you not been listening? Yes. So we can be together again? I've told you this" she explained impatiently.
Naomi stared at her. She had been cooking spaghetti bolognaise for when Emily returned from work. That's how simple life was. Why had it all changed? It couldn't have. She felt dizzy. Katie couldn't be joking so why was she saying all these confusing things to her, making her heart hurt.
She moved and gently perched on the sofa, Katie gracefully sitting beside her, "I don't have much time, she's waiting for me you know…" Katie urged.
The two girls sat in silence for what seemed like an age, Katie reading the blonde carefully. She saw pure pain in her eyes but that wasn't what she wanted, what she needed.
"She didn't say anything about you by the way" Katie said. "You know in movies when the character's about to die? And they say something about their wife or something? Didn't happen like that, surprised me. I had this knife you see, got it from mum's kitchen. Emily knew what was happening, on some level I think she even knew why. Doesn't matter if she didn't, I'll explain it to her later" the redhead told Naomi, so wickedly blasé.
"She didn't mention you" Katie repeated, trying to provoke the blonde. "She barely even tried to fight me off…it's like she didn't even care about leaving you" Katie lied again with a growing smirk.
The redhead laughed, it merged into a manic cackle which Naomi had only ever heard in films, usually she laughed at the character but now she just stared, eyes filling with hatred.
If this was what Katie wanted then she would give it to her.
She deserved pain for taking Emily away from her, she didn't just deserve to die, she should be torn apart. Naomi let out a primal snarl and leapt away Katie, fury taking over her mind.
The redhead was clutching her stomach as tears ran down her face leaving tracks.
"It was her face that cracked me up" Katie stuttered out wiping her eyes, "she was just so fucking surprised! Like a fucking rabbit in front of a car!" she let out another loud, manic burst.
Red clouded Naomi's vision, not the exactly red she was used to but close to it. It gave her strength as she screamed at Katie, no words were formed but they both knew what she was saying; "You killed her, you've taken her from me"
"Yes" Katie answered to the unasked question. She sobered up gradually. "Yes, I did. And you didn't even enter her mind as she left this world" Katie said with a vicious sneer.
There's no such thing as red-ish black. The absence of colour can't be tainted with the essence of passion. Nonetheless, this is the colour the blonde saw, scolding her vision and blinding her with this disgusting light.
Naomi didn't remember swinging the photo frame that was still in her hands. She didn't remember falling down with Katie and repeating the motion. She didn't remember if Katie attempted to fight back or not.
But. She couldn't forget the laugh that she heard long after it had actually stopped, or the words that Katie had said, or the feeling that everything she had had been taken from her.
She remembered standing up and against the wall to steady herself, dropping the photo frame and placing her palms either side of her forehead now pressed to the cold plaster.
After 9 minutes she felt a warm liquid against heel of her foot, soaking into her sock. After 13 minutes it had spread to her toes and had cooled slightly. She thought it smelled metallic, but then again she could have dreamt it.
Effy had picked the lock; Naomi hadn't known she could do that.
Ever logical she bolted the door shut after processing the scene before her.
Effy leant back against the wood and slid down it.
The two girls stayed in the same positions until darkness filled the room.
Effy broke the silence. "We should run" she said decidedly.
The blonde thought about it before replying, "You think we could?" she asked, not moving.
The brunette smirked, a dark look flashing across her face, "Don't forget, I've been in your place before. We can run….but we will get caught eventually".
Naomi sighed and pushed her forehead off the wall using her hands. "No, we can't run. I can't stay here Eff….. we need to leave too".
Effy gazed blankly in front of her and nodded. "What's wrong with us?" she asked.
Naomi replied humourlessly "Maybe they put something in the food at Roundview".
Neither of them laughed.
Silence again.
"Do you think Freddie will be waiting?" the brunette whispered hopefully.
"If Emily is then I'm sure Freddie will be too. They'll be pissed as hell, but they'll be waiting" Naomi answered "I hope Katie will be burning in hell…."
Effy nodded. She stood up and moved towards the blonde, avoiding looking at the cooling body in the centre of the room.
"Hold my hand Naomi" she commanded. "What do you have in your medicine cabinet?"…
I'm not going to apologise for this angsty crap because it was swimming around in my head and wouldn't leave me alone. The darkness scared me a little bit, i won't lie. I used to write happy little fics but something must've changed :S
I'd really appreciate it if you could leave me a review even if it's a note to say how offbeat it was. Many thanks. LA. x