A Thousand Years
~a Chichiri songfic~
Author's Notes: Chichiri
reincarnation (alternate universe) fic, to "A Thousand Years" by Sting.
__________
Events were already in place,
and the insistent inner voice kept
asking him the same questions.
Ri Houjun, an average Japanese student
and university hopeful, had
always found himself locked in a mental
contest between two
personalities, it seemed, that existed within.
A thousand years, a thousand
more
A thousand times, a million
doors to eternity
I may have lived a thousand
lives, a thousand times
An endless turning stairway
climbs
To a tower of souls
Post-it notes lay scattered
across his desk. Homework assignments,
cram school assignments,
activities, plans, and always right in front
of him was one that read
"Hikou & Kouran's engagement".
The events - fluid dreams,
half-memories, and a insistent whisper:
*This happened before,
Houjun. Don't you remember?*
If it takes another thousand
years, a thousand wars,
The towers rise to numberless
floors in space
I could shed another million
tears, a million breaths,
A million names but only one
truth to face
Ri Houjun knew he doodled. If
he wasn't thinking, he would draw the
"well" kanji,
either alone or accompanied by other characters.
He talked in his sleep too -
Hikou had told him so years ago - and
this was accompanied by odd
dreams of a wandering helpful mage that
looked like something from a
shoujo manga. He would say the name
"Suzaku" at the
strangest times, leaving others to stare as he
apologized profusely.
There was Hikou. And Kouran.
A million roads, a million
fears
A million suns, ten million
years of uncertainty
I could speak a million lies,
a million songs,
A million rights, a million
wrongs in this balance of time
*History repeats itself.*
That calm inner whisper.
He couldn't help but be happy
for Hikou - the three of
them had been friends since
childhood, had grown up
together, and now his own
best friend was getting married.
But every time he saw Hikou
and Kouran together -
Water
fear
anger
blood
water
pain
loss ~
But if there was a single
truth, a single light
A single thought, a singular
touch of grace
Then following this single
point, this single flame
This single haunted memory of
your face
*Kouran was yours, used to be
yours, remember Chichiri?
Remember how you loved her
back then?*
I still love you
I still want you
A thousand times the mysteries
unfold themselves
Like galaxies in my head
He remembered. It hurt.
But he remembered.
He was not only Ri Houjun,
the student trying to get in
a university, any one at all;
he was also Chichiri, that wandering mage,
whose fate was to be a Suzaku
shichiseishi in the land of Konan. Whom
fate deemed should suffer the
same chain of events, time after time
after time~
The full force of the inner
voice shouted memories to his mind, and
he had no choice but to let
it come. He had loved Kouran. In years
past, Houjun - for his
identity as Chichiri came afterward - had loved
Kouran with all his heart.
I may be numberless, I may be
innocent
I may know many things, I may
be ignorant
Or I could ride with kings and
conquer many lands
Or win this world at cards and
let it slip my hands
I could be cannon food,
destroyed many times
Reborn as fortune's child to
judge another's crimes
Or wear this pilgrim's cloak,
or be a common thief
I've kept this single faith, I
have but one belief
"Hikou....
Kouran...."
Water
fear
anger
blood
water
pain
loss
*No! That won't happen this
time! They're engaged, they're happy!
THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN!*
He could not escape his
bloody past. It had caught up with him,
the fight that had led to
Hikou's death in the flood. The same flood
that had claimed Kouran and
his own family.
Maybe they had ideas of the
truth as well.
If he - so long ago, the
Houjun back then - had
realized Hikou and Kouran were MEANT for each
other, then none of it would
have happened. Then he wouldn't be cast
in the role Hikou had played
back then.
Even so ~
I still love you
I still want you
A thousand times these
mysteries unfold themselves
Like galaxies in my head
Houjun slumped in his chair.
"That... will not happen again..."
*Even if... even if I must
make sure Hikou and Kouran are happy
together. I cannot do what
Hikou did before, I will not do that to
them.... I swear it...*
On and on the mysteries unfold
themselves
Eternities still unsaid
'Til you love me
But there was always the future....